Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

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florza
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

Post by florza »

KuroiHikari wrote:If anyone is interested in giving translating this a shot, I've got 2 pages from chp7 of vol3.

I'll take a look at it and comment before 4th Sept. The text may be inaccurate.
Spoiler! :
156
夕刻。学院都市の広場は大勢の人々でにぎわっていた。
鼻孔をくすぐる甘い匂い。祭殿にはおいしそうな焼菓子が山のように積まれ、学院から派遣された姫巫女が精霊を楽しませる剣舞を披露している。
「しかし、どこにいったんだ、あいつは?」
クレアの投げつけてきたチョコレートに目を落としながら―
カミトはやれやれとため息をついた。
エリスと二人でクレアを追いかけていたのだが、途中で警備の交代時間がきてしまったため、彼女を追うのはあきらめ、<風>区画の巡回警備をしているのだ。
「……」
横を歩くエリスは複雑な表情で、カミトの持つチョコレートを見つめていた。
「どうした、エリス?」
「い、いや、なんでもない……この地区に問題はなさそうだな」
エリスは咳払いして、あわてて目を逸らした。
たしかに、このあたりはとくに目立った騒動はないようだ。
酔っぱらいどうしの喧嘩やスリくらいはあるかもしれないが、そういったトラブルには街の自警団が対応してくれている。むしろカミトたちが気を付けるぺきなのは、精霊との交流に慣れていない一般市民が、知らずに精霊の逆鱗に触れてしまうことだ。
精霊を祀る祭祀のときには、その手の事故がたびたび起きている。
「まるで……デ、デートのようだな」
「ん、なにか言ったか?」
「なんでもないっ、もっと警備に意識を集申しろ!」
エリスが顔を真っ赤にして怒った。
「わ、悪い……」
謝るカミト。
(……っていうか、意識を集中していないのはエリスのほうじゃないか?)
エリスは、さっきから、落ち着きなくカミトの横顔をチラチラ見ていた。
足取りもなんだかふらふらして危なっかしい。
肩が触れるか触れないかまで近づいたと思ったら「ふわあっ」と悲鳴を上げてまた離れる―そんなことを繰り返しているのだ。
そのせいで、すれ違う入々と何度もぶつかりそうになっていた。
「エリス、そんな歩き方してたら危ないそ」
見かねたカミトがエリスの手を引くと、
「……っ、な、なな、なにをするのだ、不埒者っ!」
Just a quick translation (not entirely correct), and no reference to terminology thread, hence the terms are wrong. Don't mind if you use it either.
Spoiler! :
It was evening. On the plaza of the Academy Town, there were crowds of people going about their business.

A sweet aroma wafted into his nostrils. At the shrine, delicious-looking baked sweets were piled up like a mountain, with the hime-miko that were dispatched from the academy performing the Blade Dance which celebrated the spirits.

"However, where was she going, that girl?"

As his gaze fell towards the chocolate that Claire had thrown aside -

Kamito breathed a sigh, exasperated.

Together with Ellis and the other two, they had given chase after Claire, but halfway through, the time for the change of patrolling shifts had came, and they had to give up on the chase. With that, they started their rounds around the <Wind> area.

"....."

Ellis, walking right beside him with a complicated expression, stared at the chocolate that Kamito was carrying.

"What is it, Ellis?"

"N-no, it's nothing.... it looks like there's no problem in this area."

Ellis coughed, and looked away.

Indeed, there did not seem to be any signs of suspicious activity in this area.

Although there might have been brawls between drunkards, that kind of trouble were left to the street's vigilante corps to deal with. Rather, what Kamito and the others needed to look out for, were the commonfolk that were unused to interaction with spirits, that have unknowingly brought down the wrath of the spirits upon themselves.

During the festivals of spirit worship, that kind of incident would frequently occur.

"This is almost like.... a da-date."

"Hm, did you say something?"

"Nothing at all, concentrate more on your patrolling awareness!"

Ellis' face was flushed a deep red as she got angry.

"So-sorry...."

Kamito apologized.

(..... Wait a second, isn't Ellis the one who isn't concentrating more on her awareness?)

From earlier on, Ellis was not able to calm down, and was stealing glances at Kamito's face from the side, now and then.

Somehow, her manner of walking seemed unsteady and uncertain.

Their shoulders coming so close together that he was not sure whether they were touching, and then her screaming 'Fuwaa', once again moving away from him - that kind of thing was repeated over and over.

Because of that, they bumped into the people that they passed by, many times.

"Ellis, walking like that is dangerous."

Unable to watch any longer, Kamito grabbed Ellis' hand,

"...... W-w-what are you doing, you insolent person!"
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

Post by chancs »

florza wrote: Just a quick translation (not entirely correct), and no reference to terminology thread, hence the terms are wrong. Don't mind if you use it either.
Spoiler! :
It was evening. On the plaza of the Academy Town, there were crowds of people going about their business.

A sweet aroma wafted into his nostrils. At the shrine, delicious-looking baked sweets were piled up like a mountain, with the hime-miko that were dispatched from the academy performing the Blade Dance which celebrated the spirits.

"However, where was she going, that girl?"

As his gaze fell towards the chocolate that Claire had thrown aside -

Kamito breathed a sigh, exasperated.

Together with Ellis and the other two, they had given chase after Claire, but halfway through, the time for the change of patrolling shifts had came, and they had to give up on the chase. With that, they started their rounds around the <Wind> area.

"....."

Ellis, walking right beside him with a complicated expression, stared at the chocolate that Kamito was carrying.

"What is it, Ellis?"

"N-no, it's nothing.... it looks like there's no problem in this area."

Ellis coughed, and looked away.

Indeed, there did not seem to be any signs of suspicious activity in this area.

Although there might have been brawls between drunkards, that kind of trouble were left to the street's vigilante corps to deal with. Rather, what Kamito and the others needed to look out for, were the commonfolk that were unused to interaction with spirits, that have unknowingly brought down the wrath of the spirits upon themselves.

During the festivals of spirit worship, that kind of incident would frequently occur.

"This is almost like.... a da-date."

"Hm, did you say something?"

"Nothing at all, concentrate more on your patrolling awareness!"

Ellis' face was flushed a deep red as she got angry.

"So-sorry...."

Kamito apologized.

(..... Wait a second, isn't Ellis the one who isn't concentrating more on her awareness?)

From earlier on, Ellis was not able to calm down, and was stealing glances at Kamito's face from the side, now and then.

Somehow, her manner of walking seemed unsteady and uncertain.

Their shoulders coming so close together that he was not sure whether they were touching, and then her screaming 'Fuwaa', once again moving away from him - that kind of thing was repeated over and over.

Because of that, they bumped into the people that they passed by, many times.

"Ellis, walking like that is dangerous."

Unable to watch any longer, Kamito grabbed Ellis' hand,

"...... W-w-what are you doing, you insolent person!"
Thanks Florza for this mini-translation. :D
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance

Post by KuroiHikari »

Covering 3 lines first or maybe "only".

Oh ya, there's a blade dance 剣舞 and there's the Blade Dance 精霊剣舞祭. Don't blame me :( The author's use of furigana is a bit of a pain.
Spoiler! :
夕刻。学院都市の広場は大勢の人々でにぎわっていた。
It was evening. On the plaza of the Academy Town, there were crowds of people going about their business.

The nuance here is different. With the topic marker, it'll be ideal to make that the subject of the sentence.
The plaza of Academy Town was bustling with crowds of people.

鼻孔をくすぐる甘い匂い。祭殿にはおいしそうな焼菓子が山のように積まれ、学院から派遣された姫巫女が精霊を楽しませる剣舞を披露している。
A sweet aroma wafted into his nostrils. At the shrine, delicious-looking baked sweets were piled up like a mountain, with the hime-miko that were dispatched from the academy performing the Blade Dance which celebrated the spirits.

If I'm not wrong, "a smell tickling one's nostril" can be used, well, I would use it. The second sentence would be just difference in style I guess.
Sweet smells tickled his nostrils. At the shrine, delicious-looking baked sweets were piled up like a mountain and princess maidens dispatched from the academy were showcasing a blade dance that entertained the spirits.

「しかし、どこにいったんだ、あいつは?」
"However, where was she going, that girl?"

"...Where did she go..."
And I think... you read this wrongly.
Oh no, rikaichan, why are you missing "entertain" for 楽しませる :( Well, it's not like the word didn't occur to me, I was just being stubborn...
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by ArchmageXin »

Does anyone know if there is a chinese version of this novel? I can't promise how far I could get, but if someone point me in the right direction I would be happy to add a chapter or two~. Ideally, in simplified Chinese.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by florza »

You mean from simplified Chinese?

Check your PM.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by ArchmageXin »

florza wrote:You mean from simplified Chinese?

Check your PM.
I already found it. Apparently is up to volume 7.

Just skimming through volume 4's ending, I noticed the story is not hard to translate, but the major problem is I am not very good with names. (Since I left China around...10 years old). If I get started on the project, just like my old ZnT translations, someone will have to hold my hand on the characters (Clare, Ellis, Kamito, etc)

Also, I assume "Elves" = "Kami" since in Chinese they are practically the same thing...

heh, "Kamito" is literally translated as "Spirit one"...talk about further confusion X_X
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by florza »

Those are spirits. Though if you're going to translate a chapter or two for V3 I don't mind proofing through with the JP version for you.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by ArchmageXin »

What is the progress on Volume 3? Is someone doing all of it already? Should I take the ending and work backwards so I don't override other people's work?
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by florza »

As of now no one is doing Blade dance. V3C7 to C9.

Check the registration page.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by ArchmageXin »

florza wrote:As of now no one is doing Blade dance. V3C7 to C9.

Check the registration page.
Ahhh, that is not good.

Hmmm, Chinese translation put Est as Alice. I hope =/ Since I don't recall an "Alice" character in the story.

Alright, let me see if I could resume my old pace of translating a page of Word Doc a night~
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by denormative »

ArchmageXin wrote:
Ahhh, that is not good.

Hmmm, Chinese translation put Est as Alice. I hope =/ Since I don't recall an "Alice" character in the story.

Alright, let me see if I could resume my old pace of translating a page of Word Doc a night~
There's the knight "Ellis", which is phonetically similar, that's the only "Alice" I can think of.
Assorted PDFs: viewtopic.php?p=159960
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by lchigo93 »

Well v8 is fully translated in Chinese, which surprises me. Gd speed they are, only took them 11 days to do it.
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"If men weren't perverts then humans would be extinct" Fuwa Rinna from Mangaka-san to Assistant-san to.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by ArchmageXin »

(Verslia Eva?)'s body was engraved with a cursed seal.

Al through (she?) used- (skill name untranslated, assuming some kind healing spell) power, a demonstration of (Yunna?)'s strength, thus eliminating the cursed seal in her heart. But due to years of corruption, instant recovery is impossible.

It is unknown how many years it will take for her powers to recover.

Also, even when the effect of the cursed seal wore off, her crimes will not go clean.

Ellis and Kamito walked to the academy gate to see off Verslia, now taken in custody by dozens of Spirit Knights.

Standing in front the carriage, Verslia had a very peaceful look.

Due to the cursed seal, it appear her energy eroded little by little.

But the current her, no longer an icy knight, but more like a normal girl.

Verlisa lowered her head toward her sister and said:“.....Ellis, I am sorry.”

“Please raise your head, onee-sama. I will always wait for onee sama.”

Verlisa lightly nodded, then turned toward Kamito.

“I will leave my baby sister with you, she is a idiot but she is very charming.”

“Ah, Ah, I know”

Ellis blushed red, “Ka, Kamito? Onee sama too?”


Patting Ellis lightly on the head, Versalis got on to the carriage. “Ellis, I will wish you best success on the Sword Dance.”

Kamito and Ellis waited on the Carriage Stop until the carriage vanished in the horizon.

“.....Kamito, thank you, thank you for saving Onee Sama.”

Kamito shook his head, “It was not me, Ellis saved her.”

“.......”

The two remained strangely silent for a long time.

“So, Kamito, in regard to the <Valentine day? Festival> day before.”

“Oh?”

Ellis produced a well wrapped box from under her clothes. (the exact translation is “magically somewhere from her body, but it sounds weird.)

It is a extremely will made box wrapped in a ribbon.

“This is?”
So how does it look? :3 I did it using my own Chinese skills, a couple words using google translation, and some with Golden Bridge (read the text out loud, since I am a natural speaker)

This is from V3's epilogue, as promised. The whole thing talk me about 10 minutes (including 6 minutes of reading Campione)
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by florza »

You'll need someone to proof and edit, or KuroiHikari will cry buckets of blood.
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Re: Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance: General

Post by ArchmageXin »

florza wrote:You'll need someone to proof and edit, or KuroiHikari will cry buckets of blood.
Be my guest~.
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