Translation Questions - Toradora Spinoff 2

[EusthEnoptEron]

I see your point. In fact, I did something similar, too in the beginning.

To continue your example, what I'm suggesting is:
When "Learning Japanese" is "classes about construction", then I'd say "building a house" is "using Japanese, living Japanese". In my opinion, "translating" is more like "explaining to others how this certain house is built" - which you can only after having gained some experience.

Ah, but enough of this hair-splitting.
Just some thoughts of mine, by no means any offense.

[rpapo]

And no offense received. We each have our own distinct situations. Going to Japan, studying and living there, is not an option for me at this point in life. Between wife, kids and job, I am pretty much tied to where I am. I doubt my company will send me there for business, either. My work has taken me to England, Poland, Italy and Brazil in the past five years, but only for short times (3, 1, 2 and 1 week(s) respectively). The likelihood of a trip to Japan is small.

You've implied that you went through a learning curve with Japanese as well, yet you seem to have knowledge that I would only expect from a native speaker. And your profile said you were 19 years old, so I assumed you were a native speaker, even if you live in Switzerland.

[rpapo]

And now we go back in time a bit to revisit some things I am not comfortable about in Chapter 1.

Item #1: At the start of page 18, we have the following lines:

ネットに入った丸々コロコロ膨れた栗に、竜児はサンマ回顧の延長線、ふらふらと夢見るように吸い寄せられていく。
大河もふらふらとその後をついてくる。

The difficulty is with the term "ふらふら", which supposedly means "dizzy", but because of what happened I rendered as "hypnotized", or "in a trance". Is this a reasonable translation?

Item #2: Near the end of page 18, we have the following lines:

それが秋という季節。
馬もデブるというではないか。

The first line is given for context, and I am reasonably comfortable with how I translated it: "That is what they call fall." It's the next line which makes no sense to me, probably because I haven't lived in Japan. Something about horses getting fat.

Item #3: On page 21, we find the following pair of lines:

……確かに、秋、なのだが。
食欲の秋なのだが。

It appears to be the author emphasizing the point that fall is really here, and with it the appetite that goes with it. Unfortunately, these sentences are almost pure particle, and that's where Japanese can get strange for gaijin like myself.

[EusthEnoptEron]

About the horse thingie:
See here

……確かに、秋、なのだが。
食欲の秋なのだが。

I think he's implying mixed feelings. "It may be so, but well...". "...it certainly is fall, but well..." - something like this.


And on this occasion:

You've implied that you went through a learning curve with Japanese as well, yet you seem to have knowledge that I would only expect from a native speaker. And your profile said you were 19 years old, so I assumed you were a native speaker, even if you live in Switzerland.

買い被りすぎです. Gaijin here, too.
To be honest, I've never even had a conversation with anyone in Japanese.

[rpapo]

Thanks. I have redone the two lines about fall and appetite to reflect the possible uncertaintly.

I had completely forgotten about the horse quotation, but it makes even more sense now than then. Takemiya-sensei indeed seems to have been playing with that quotation in the title, seeing as she is borrowing from it part-way into the story as well.

[rpapo]

Taiga's slurring again, it seems...

Speaking of or to a little dog who's been getting a little too familiar with her, she says "…なんだ犬っころめ。", which as near as I can tell is something like "...what's with this mutt?"

Anybody have a better idea?

[RonnieCorny]

hi

this phrase that you translated as "Big sister’s butt isn’t around anymore!" ("お姉さんのお尻はもうナイナイ！") seems a bit off... i think it may be more like "don't do that to the big sister's butt!" or maybe "stop doing that to the big sister's butt already!" (the ナイナイ！ seems to indicate "don't don't)

what do you think? (just my view)


- ron

[rpapo]

Sounds reasonable. I thought that perhaps the boy's big sister (which the dog had a habit of bothering) had moved off to college or something. Wild speculation.

[rpapo]

FWIW, on the previous page, where I had translated "Poor Taiga, down on all fours, her nice ponytail all messed up, couldn’t even resist when a toy poodle, out for a walk, came over and sniffed her.", I had sanitized it a bit, since even there the reference to the dog sniffing the wrong places was fairly clear. But I had been thinking that I had to be mistaken, that I was missing something, that Takemiya wouldn't be talking that way...

Also, FWIW, "Chestnut" is a direct translation of the dog's name, Maron. The boy is calling Maron-chan. I know we don't normally translate personal names, but in this case the translation was something we might call a dog in English, too.

[RonnieCorny]

i dunno... i haven't actually tried reading the spin-off2 yet... just that when i viewed your translation, i felt it was somewhat off at that part... so i opened the book i bought to see what was actually written... so, i didn't really have full context...

he he... well, once i've finished my current infatuation with ZnT, i'll come back to TD...


- ron

[rpapo]

Time for yet another short, possibly slurred, definitely elided and wierd expression.

「とんでもねぇな、それ……」

Even substituting の for the first ん, and removing the extended え from ね, it still doesn't make a lot of sense. This immediately follows the currently posted text, and appears to be Ryuuji speaking.

[EusthEnoptEron]

とんでもねぇな＝とんでもない

[rpapo]

Thanks! ありがとう! Gracias! Grazie! Obrigado! Dziękuję!

Oh, and thanks for the interesting link that I can now add to my toolkit.

[rpapo]

OK, here's an odd one.

握りこぶしぐらいに見える小さな顔にはシャネルマーク入りのサングラス。

The book is speaking of Ami at this point, about Chanel-brand sunglasses on her small face. What doesn't make sense is the very first part, which speaks of a clenched fist. Is there perhaps another use for the phrase 握りこぶし? If there is, the dictionaries are not showing it.

[RonnieCorny]

I think it's describing how the logo of Chanel appears to those who do not know about the brand... so, probable translation of this sentence would be: "The Chanel logo on the sunglasses looked like a clenched fist on a small face."

at least that's what my best guess is...


- ron

OK, here's an odd one.

握りこぶしぐらいに見える小さな顔にはシャネルマーク入りのサングラス。

The book is speaking of Ami at this point, about Chanel-brand sunglasses on her small face. What doesn't make sense is the very first part, which speaks of a clenched fist. Is there perhaps another use for the phrase 握りこぶし? If there is, the dictionaries are not showing it.