Editing Hyouka:Blu-ray Bonus CD Track 13 (section)

== Impossible Intermission #13: Feigning a Quiz Tournament ==
''Here's a link to the track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7k5HCEHU2Y''


'''Fukube Satoshi:''' (Running) This is bad, Houtarou!

'''Oreki Houtarou:''' What's the matter, Satoshi?

'''Satoshi:''' It was just announced just now that this year's Quiz Trial will actually become a rock-paper-scissors tournament!

'''Oreki:''' Ohh? I see.

'''Satoshi:''' Eh? Why are you so unconcerned? Anything else to say?

'''Oreki:''' Good luck with the rock-paper-scissors.

'''Satoshi:''' That's so half-hearted! I spent so much time, including my sleeping hours, studying trends and preparing strategies for the quiz tournament!

(A strange sound)

'''Oreki:''' Huh?

'''Satoshi:''' It seems like...... the wall's undulating.

'''Chitanda:''' Ahh! Wah! Fresh air!

'''Satoshi:''' Ah! Chitanda-san?! Why did you come from the wall......

'''Oreki:''' What are you doing?

'''Chitanda:''' When I was exploring the cultural festival, I found a Ninja Club, and I learnt the Art of Concealment. I was praised to be quite skillful at it.

'''Oreki:''' There shouldn't be such a club!

'''Chitanda:''' Anyway, Fukube-san......

'''Satoshi:''' W-What?

'''Chitanda:''' I heard your conversation while I was inside the wall. There is a foolproof way of winning rock-paper-scissors.

'''Satoshi:''' Eh? Really?

'''Chitanda:''' Yes. As long as you hold the Chitanda clan's surefire strategy, you will not fail. I will now initiate you into this art, so just leave it to me!

'''Oreki:''' Leave it to you, huh.

'''Satoshi:''' I'm in your hands, Chitanda-sensei.

'''Oreki:''' Sensei?

'''Chitanda:''' Alright. First, close your eyes and relax your shoulders. Open your feet such that the distance between them is the distance between your shoulders.

'''Oreki:''' She started right away.

'''Chitanda:''' Then, take one good, deep breath. (Takes a deep breath)

'''Satoshi:''' (Takes a deep breath)

'''Chitanda:''' Cast your feelings away. Empty your mind of the thought of wanting to win. This is very important.

'''Satoshi:''' I see. How deep.

'''Chitanda:''' By the way, this is just the preparation.

'''Oreki:''' Just how many steps are there?!

'''Chitanda:''' And now, focus your energy! Open your eyes with force, like an eagle who has just spotted prey.

'''Satoshi:''' Ka!<ref>Chitanda said "open your eyes with force", which can be misconstrued as "open your eyes while saying Ka".</ref>

'''Oreki:''' Just saying it out doesn't do anything. And don't look at me!

'''Chitanda:''' Then, stare at your adversary like a snake eyeing its prey, fixedly. Ji......<ref>The sound of staring.</ref>

'''Satoshi:''' Ji......

'''Oreki:''' I'm not your adversary.

'''Chitanda:''' Now, you chant the spell.

'''Satoshi:''' Spell?

'''Chitanda:''' Repeat after me. O Great God of Agriculture......

'''Satoshi:''' O Great God of Agriculture......

(Some sound effect plays)

'''Oreki:''' Oh?! What's this sound effect?!

'''Chitanda:''' Bestow upon me the power of nature!

'''Satoshi:''' Bestow upon me the power of nature!

'''Oreki:''' Oi! Why are you praying to the God of Agriculture just to win a game of rock-paper-scissors?!

'''Chitanda:''' Keep quiet, or we might get distracted.

'''Oreki:''' Okay.

'''Chitanda:''' Fukube-san. It is now in your head, right? Which of rock, paper or scissors to throw to beat Oreki-san?

'''Satoshi:''' You're right. I know what Houtarou will throw.

'''Oreki:''' In the end, I have no choice but to play rock-paper-scissors?

'''Chitanda:''' Then, let us begin. Rock, paper, scissors! Ah! What is this?

'''Satoshi:''' This is impossible!

'''Oreki:''' Hey! We have to spell it out, or others won't understand!

'''Chitanda:''' Oh! You're right! It is a pity that we are unable to show this on video.

'''Oreki:''' Is it really?

'''Satoshi:''' This is...... what do you call it...... a perfect tie.

'''Oreki:''' I threw stone.

'''Chitanda:''' I threw scissors.

'''Satoshi:''' And I went with paper.

'''Oreki:''' Did you really know that I was going to throw stone, Satoshi?

'''Satoshi:''' Yeah.

'''Chitanda:''' I looked into Fukube-san's eyes, so I chose scissors.

'''Satoshi:''' So I won Houtarou, and Chitanda won me.

'''Oreki:''' This Chitanda-style rock-paper-scissors surefire method, or whatever it's called...... isn't it meaningless unless it's one-on-one?

'''Chitanda:''' That's right. It's used for one-on-one matches.

'''Satoshi:''' Hm! Seems like it was effective!

'''Oreki:''' That was a pretty random statement......

'''Chitanda:''' This is perfect, isn't it, Fukube-san? With this, there is no doubt that you will be victorious!

'''Satoshi:''' Now I feel like I can win anyone in the world in a game of rock-paper-scissors. Thank you, Chitanda-san.

'''Oreki:''' In the end...... what are the roots of this surefire strategy?