Editing Talk:Date A Live:Volume 2 Chapter 5 (section)

==Suggested edits/Could you clarify what you mean by...==
*It was the final strike, because each attack holds lethal powers respectively. If not for the AstralDress, they could fish out the results of Yoshino being killed around 100 times; it was the incarnation of killing intent and malice.
 
:They were final strikes, because each attack held a lethal level of power respectively. If not for the AstralDress, they would result in Yoshino being killed over a 100 times; it was the incarnation of killing intent and malice.

fish out sounds weird, it could be a typo if you meant something like "finish off"

*"—Okay, let's this up all the way." 
: this is missing something. "—Okay, let's ___ this up all the way." finish? // "—Okay, let's keep this offense up all the way." 

"Hurry and finish increasing her affection level, and give a her kiss."

"………………Uhh."

'''………………It was a specific way to say it out of the mouth, Shidou became a little shy from that.'''

The bit in bold is awkward sounding, understand what you mean but you might see try posting up the jap-text to see how others would translate the line. I would suggest something like '''…The instructions were so blunt and direct that Shidou became a little shy.'''

*The shot grazed Yoshino's shoulder tip and her cheeks, and continue on passing through her back.
:The shot implies only one bullet/beam was fired, but it manages to graze her shoulder AND her cheekS. Through her back implies she was hit directly as well...I guess you mean The shots grazed Yoshino's shoulder tip and her cheeks, and continued passed behind her.

She clenched her teeth, and her eye roots --'''eye lids suit tightly?''' approached to each other, while she was almost close to crying, she continued kicking the floor. --[[User:Drowzycow|Drowzycow]] ([[User talk:Drowzycow|talk]])

"—Okay, let's this up all the way." <---she's saying keep this pace going. she was already attacking so she didnt say it.

………………'''It was a specific way to say it out of the mouth''', Shidou became a little shy from that. ~you can use "that was quite a way to put it" he was stating that "the hurry up and increase affection" was ridiculous in some sorts sooo.......--[[User:RikiNutcase|RikiNutcase]] ([[User talk:RikiNutcase|talk]]) 18:33, 20 November 2012 (CST)

It was the final strike, because each attack holds lethal powers respectively. If not for the AstralDress, they could fish out the results of Yoshino being killed around 100 times; it was the incarnation of killing intent and malice. <---the attacks are from separate members into one strike. --[[User:RikiNutcase|RikiNutcase]]([[User talk:RikiNutcase|talk]])
:The problem I had with the line lies more with the '''fish out the results''' bit of the line. Like I mentioned possible typo of fish=finish comes to mind--[[User:Drowzycow|Drowzycow]] ([[User talk:Drowzycow|talk]]) 19:06, 20 November 2012 (CST)


*The moment it touched the ammunition, it would get covered in ice and even the firepower would freeze before falling to the ground. 
What did you mean by firepower here? Since it seems to be different from the ammunition (which would be missiles/bullets) but I can't imagine a laser beam freezing up and falling to the ground.--[[User:Drowzycow|Drowzycow]] ([[User talk:Drowzycow|talk]]) 19:12, 20 November 2012 (CST)

ooh you can get rid the fish out for a better sentence,

the shot grazed her shoulder tip and cheek and continued going behind<---this is the idea.

her eyebrows come closer together get rid of the eyelids. 

the ammunition implies to bullets and missiles not stated which they used so i picked the whole package. and the fire power= Gun powder not igniting soo......

--[[User:RikiNutcase|RikiNutcase]] ([[User talk:RikiNutcase|talk]]) 19:15, 20 November 2012 (CST)

The moment it touched the ammunition, they would be covered in ice which prevented them from even exploding before falling to the ground. 

Will that do?--[[User:Drowzycow|Drowzycow]] ([[User talk:Drowzycow|talk]]) 19:38, 20 November 2012 (CST)

in the actually sentence that actually use "loss firepower" so at least make it "prevented them from igniting instead of exploding"--[[User:RikiNutcase|RikiNutcase]] ([[User talk:RikiNutcase|talk]]) 20:57, 20 November 2012 (CST)

Oh yeah  :)). Again.  This is what I think about the above:

*As each of the attacks held power at a lethal level respectively, they were all the finishing strikes. If not for the Astral Dress, these would have resulted in Yoshino being killed over 100 times; it was the incarnation of killing intent and malice.

*"—Okay, let's keep this up all the way." 

*The shot grazed Yoshino's shoulder tip and her cheek, and continued to pass through her back. (okay, not sure about the later part. Can we use "behind" instead of "through" ?)

*She continued kicking the floor with her teeth being clenched tightly and her eyelids almost shut while almost coming close to crying. (scrap mine this out, it's odd) 

*(Thumbs up for that "shy" part)

*The moment it touched the ammunition, they would get covered in ice thus preventing the firepower to ignite before falling to the ground.
--[[User:Chancs|Chancs]] ([[User talk:Chancs|talk]]) 22:59, 20 November 2012 (CST)

for the part that goes "she sent her brain instructions to the thrusters" can i change it to "mental instructions" instead? Or is it specifically brain instructions which sounds hell of a lot weird. --[[User:MonsterBandage|MonsterBandage]] 4:26, 22 November 2012 (CST)

it was meant for sending signals to the brain. and the body acting accordingly to the "Signal's" Sent. if you got any other any ways to put it then go ahead.--[[User:RikiNutcase|RikiNutcase]] ([[User talk:RikiNutcase|talk]]) 22:34, 22 November 2012 (CST)

for the "slow-witted silhouette" thing, i cant really understand what that means and i dont think u can use slow witted in that kind of context.
--[[User:MonsterBandage|MonsterBandage]] 4:26, 22 November 2012 (CST)

then dull-moving? dim-witted? anyways it was meant to be "a slow big rabbit"<===--[[User:RikiNutcase|RikiNutcase]] ([[User talk:RikiNutcase|talk]]) 22:52, 22 November 2012 (CST)

In the form of substitution together with that, <Sandalphon> that Shidou was riding on, reached to the base of Yoshino's barrier. <!--how do you mean by form of substitution ?--> (this one means) AST goes chasing after Tohka while Shidou passes through behind them without them noticing. need ideas in sentence formation--[[User:RikiNutcase|RikiNutcase]] ([[User talk:RikiNutcase|talk]]) 18:36, 23 November 2012 (CST)

The word you're looking for is decoy/distraction:

:With Tohka acting as the decoy, the <Sandalphon> that Shidou was riding on, managed reached to the base of Yoshino's barrier.

:With that distraction, the <Sandalphon> that Shidou was riding on, managed reached to the base of Yoshino's barrier.

something along those lines. 

 	
The moment Shidou said that, Tohka made a sigh—the hand that was holding the sword and the light membranes that appeared on her body important parts, disappeared into the air. -important parts, is pretty vague - the light membranes that covered her vitals might be better 

The pointed tip of the building that enters the radius of the expanded Territory got twisted out, and was grabbed to float mid air. --clarify what you mean by this description doesn't make sense, not sure which of the building you're referring to here.

"…………….Shin. Please, you definitely have to save that girl. You would have to lie………to not go save this kind and gentle little girl." 
the line sounds a little off still. I assume it is referencing the Shidou will be her hero thing, so promise may fit better than lie?

wheel of battles > endless cycle of battles? 
--[[User:Drowzycow|Drowzycow]] ([[User talk:Drowzycow|talk]]) 20:00, 23 November 2012 (CST)

With that distraction, the <Sandalphon> that Shidou was riding on, managed reached to the base of Yoshino's barrier. <--this would do.

??? what building? Origami just goes near it and rip the building off with the Territory

thats in the original context and i cant play around with it since it's only one word available.

endless cycle--[[User:RikiNutcase|RikiNutcase]] ([[User talk:RikiNutcase|talk]]) 20:26, 23 November 2012 (CST)