Editing Talk:Mushoku Tensei:Web Chapter 83 (section)

== Edits based on my understanding, from the context and from whatever I could make sense of the previous translation effort ==

I am going to put my suggestions here instead of editing the chapter directly, as I think it is a bit too large of a change to do without confirming with a translator.
I will write the original text in Italic, and will write my suggestions after it. I may bold some points for emphasis, and I will also add explanations in parenthesis.



''Although, even if it was such a luxurious dish, her job as a guard made her required her to eat until the very end, but she had to retire after seeing exactly how much those of the upper level nobility could eat.''

Although, even if it was such a luxurious dish, '''and even though''' her '''job as a guard required of her''' to eat until the very end, but she '''still''' had to retire after seeing exactly how much those of the upper level nobility could eat.
(Here I think the emphasis is on the fact that she is supposed to stay and eat with the nobles but she couldn't eat as much as the glutton nobles, even if she loved the food)


''The similar yet lower ranking guard was Luke.''

''However the difference in quality of meals here than those of Buina village was like the difference between Heaven and Earth.''
(I would be surprised by the fact that Luke would be considered "lower ranking" than Sylphy, he is a noble of the Notus family, is older than her, and has been working as guard for longer, and as far as the context is concerned, there is no reason to mention it at this point in text even if true. I think something else was meant here.
From reading the previous translation, my guess is that it is meant to say even though her food is of lower quality than what Luke gets, it's still light years ahead of what she used to eat in her village)

She was served similar dishes, yet of lower quality, as Luke.

'''But even then''' the difference in the quality '''between the meals served here''' than and those of Buina village was like the difference between Heaven and Earth.


''[Even if they are said to be the Genius Boy, apparently that genius doesn't extend into using manners properly.]''
(I think we are using they to avoid mentioning the gender of Fitts/Sylphy, but in this case, it is clear the person talking is assuming she is a Rudeus...)

[Even if '''he''' is said to be '''a genius''', apparently that genius doesn't extend into using manners properly.]


''Secretly supplementing the parts he knew that she was lacking, and stealthily teaching her the parts that she did not know at all, he had become a shadow of support for her.''

''A shadow only.''

''Because around here, there was a reason he was popular.''

(I feel that "a shadow of support" doesn't convey the meaning it's supposed to... Saying a shadow of something usually means that is barely in the shape of it, basically insufficient. Here is a shadow supporter I think.)

'''Subtly''' supplementing the parts he knew that she was lacking, and stealthily teaching her the parts that she did not know at all, he had become '''her hidden supporter'''.

'''From the shadows only'''.

'''And that was''' a reason he was popular '''around here'''.



''In her heart there was no crevice filled with anything other than that of Rudeus.''

(Slightly strange wording... Nothing important, but I suggest the following)

In her heart there was no room left for anyone other than Rudeus.



''However if Ariel orders it, he will let fall the head of Sylphy.''

(I Think here it is meant that he will have to behead Sylphy himself)

However if Ariel orders it, '''he will have to behead Sylphy himself'''.



''Was the beginning of Lord Liston's thoughtless words.''

'''It all started with''' Lord Liston's thoughtless words.

Those are all suggestions, I'd like to get a translator's or a more experienced editor's opinion. Thanks [[User:Stealth|Stealth]] ([[User talk:Stealth|talk]]) 11:36, 7 August 2014 (CDT)