Editing Talk:Zero no Tsukaima:Volume1 Story1 Chapter1 (section)

=== Page 20 ===

(1) "illusion beast", IRC log explains:
:<Cala-kun> "Illusion beast"... >.>
:<Cala-kun> And "lunes".
:<BlckKnght> ah, that was the engrish I spotted earlier
:<Cala-kun> The "illusion beast" I can understand...
:<Cala-kun> And I guess Oni was either mistaken with my share of the chapter, or just hasn't got the part from the other group yet.
:<the_naming_game> if I had to guess what an illusion beast was, I'd say some kind of spirit monster
:<the_naming_game> er ... how close am I? I haven't even read that part of the chapter.
:<Cala-kun> I put it as "magical beast".
:<Cala-kun> Since there are dragons and reference to such creatrues.
:<Cala-kun> *creatures

(2) "Don't make a fool out of me!"
*バカにしないで。
*baka ni shinaide.
*fool towards do-not(te-form at end, request with "kudasai" dropped)
*not do towards fool

Despite the literal correctness of "don't make a fool out of me!", the use of "ni" with "suru" (to do) is in fact, a [http://guidetojapanese.org/surunaru.html#part2 figure of speech]. In short, it means to "decide on" --
*Don't decide on me as a fool.

Besides, it just doesn't make sense in context. Making a fool out of someone means making them look foolish. Maybe by asking them a question they can't answer, by making them do something stupid, by making them look stupid. Merely insulting them isn't enough.

In context, I felt they were just insulting her. To actually make a fool out of her, they would have to get her to try, and fail to do something. Perhaps in Japanese, that phrase doesn't need those extra requirements in order to be apt, but in English, it does.

Also, I can't imagine anyone saying "don't make a fool out of me!" -- that would be admitting they were made to look like a fool. (Even if someone did say that, I would suspect an incorrect usage.) The following, are more easily imaginable:
:"Don't make me out to be a fool!"
:"Don't take me for a fool!"
:"Don't think of me like a fool!"

Those three were my suggestions for replacement. I went with the third, because, while it's not the shortest, "Don't take me for a fool!" is a bit too "low class" for Louise to say. And "Don't make me out to be a fool!" is a bit more awkward sounding.

--[[User:The naming game|The naming game]] 18:17, 25 August 2006 (PDT)


(3) "that is how you act?" -> "this is how you act?"

Those two phrases, taken alone, mean different things to me.
*"That is how you act?" --> "That is the way you usually act?"
*"This is how you act?" --> "This is the way you're going to act?"
The second phrase is the one that fits best in its context.

(4) "If he was a high-powered illusion beast, she would never have made a contract." -> "... she could never have ..."
*「そいつが高位の幻獣だったら、「契約」なんかできないって」
*that person, {if it was a high-powered magical beast}, 'keiyaku' nanka dekinai tte
*that person, {if it was a high-powered magical beast}, {contract or something} unable {I hear, I understand, I'm saying/said -- context dependent. I'd go with "I'm saying"}

Yeah, I sure typed a lot just to change "would" to "could" -- and then I thought to check the original translation, and yes, it was "could." I have to give the original translator some credit. Despite doing a literal and sometimes confusing translation, as well as missing figures of speech, I found nothing that was dead wrong.

--[[User:The naming game|The naming game]] 19:00, 25 August 2006 (PDT)

:I ended up changing it to "wouldn't have been able to make a contract." -- "could" does sound a little strange in context, and that's probably why someone changed it to "would" in the first place.
:--[[User:The naming game|The naming game]] 19:12, 25 August 2006 (PDT)


(5) "A few students laughed at the frequently said comments." -> "A few students laughed as they made those comments."
Original:
:(A) Few students laughed as they made those comments.
Current:
:A few students laughed at the frequently said comments.
Japanese:
:何人かの生徒が、笑いながら言った。
:some students laughed while said.
(Just to affirm accuracy of original translation)

So I'm changing it back to that original phrase. Note that there's that problem of dialogue attribution in Japanese again -- it usually points to the dialogue preceding. The original sentence seems to do a decent job of handling that, though, so I've let it be.

--[[User:The naming game|The naming game]] 21:29, 25 August 2006 (PDT)