Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume2 Chapter4 (section)

===Part 2===

People were always praising me: "This child is truly as beautiful as a doll!" That was also how my mother doted upon me. On the other hand, my father was apparently uninterested in dolls. Perhaps due to these circumstances, all I can say is, by the time I realized, I had already turned out like this.

Living to this day, I always felt as if I was not human.



When I was a child, my mother once took me to theatrical troupe, to have me learn acting skills.

It was truly simple. After all, dolls were made to imitate people.

I could not muster any enthusiasm. On my end I simply invested minimal effort but somehow the audience were always roused to a commotion. Prodigy. Golden Egg. Future Great Actress. A whole slew of trite titles.

In contrast to the fanaticism around me, my heart gradually froze.

What exactly had they seen? What did these people see that roused them into a commotion? Me as an actress? Or the fictional character I interpreted and conveyed? At the very least, I felt that it was not directed towards myself. If one had to ask why, it was because no one ever noticed what I was thinking about.

To be moved simply by superficially expressed sorrow? How trite.

To be enraptured simply by superficially expressed smiles? How naive.

I was again taken to the theatrical troupe several times after that, but it was utterly inane, so I stopped acting. Even when forcefully shoved onto the stage, I simply stood there motionless. Faced with the surrounding pleas, snarls and tears, all I could think was: How noisy. If you want something that perfectly imitates a human, why not simply prepare a doll?

My mother fell into depression. Apparently she had hoped for her dress-up doll, me, to win the hearts of the entire Japanese audience. As always, my father remained indifferent. Rumors of what happened at the theatrical troupe also spread to school and for some reason, I became hated, ostracized and rejected.

Please leave me alone.

Why approach us on purpose then complain? Why act so high and mighty? Stop looking down on others! Don't think others will suffer your arrogance just because you're pretty! The way you consider yourself different is very aggravating! Etc etc.

I am a doll, you people are humans. Having differences is only natural.

The unchanging environment made me feel helpless and disappointed. I soon became completely jaded.

Henceforth, I hated humans.

Then my mother passed away due to illness. Uninterested in dolls, my father did not interact with me. Even though he managed to get me enrolled into high school, I suppose it was only an act of propriety as a show to society? It simply felt meddlesome to me. My father was uninterested in me, and I was uninterested in humans.

Whenever the human who shared the same roof went out, I took walks inside the shop. I enjoyed the taste of antiques. The taste of objects abandoned by humans gave me a sense of homecoming.

On one occasion, the one who struck up conversation with me was&mdash;

A doll. Human-sized, almost mistakable for human from a distance, a truly beautiful doll. Its material was incredibly soft and warm, its joints could move, and the seams could not be discerned without careful examination. It spoke. Then without much change in appearance, it took on human form.

Very incredibly, I did not feel fear. So this was actually possible&mdash;I simply accepted the fact.

A doll who was like a human and a human who was like a doll. I felt that we were quite well matched.

"If you continue staying here, you will be sold off. If you wish to become my conversation partner, you could come to my room."

The doll&mdash;in a youth's form at the time&mdash;smiled sorrowfully:

"I am very glad to know you wish to become my owner. However... It's better if you don't. Because I am cursed."

"Given the current situation, it comes as no shock to me. What will happen?"

"You will fall in love with me."

"My, aren't you confident?"

"No... This is predestined. It will happen. That is the kind of curse I bear."

Sovereignty Perfection Doll began to tell his story.

It all began with the creator's beliefs. The creator believed that the true nature of playing with dolls was rooted in sovereignty. Why did people want dolls? The fundamental answer was&mdash;so long as one had a doll in hand, anyone could fulfill their dreams as a sovereign king/prince/queen/princess in a fairy tale. Simply stated, it stemmed from a wish to transform oneself into a perfect human akin to royalty&mdash;playing out the fantasy of "an ideal self different from oneself." According to Sovereignty, all playing with dolls originated from that.

The exploits of princes or princesses appearing in stories&mdash;namely, romance.

Hence a desire for dolls. One person cannot play out a fairy tale romance alone, hence a desire for dolls. A princess for a prince, and a prince for a princess. The doll's role is to play the part of the romantic partner, the corresponding sovereign queen/princess/king/prince. With that, only the possession of all required elements of a fairy tale romance could stand as proof of a perfect doll. The ability to accommodate all desires of humans existing in fairy tales was exactly the requirement for a doll of perfection.

Consequently, he acquired an appearance that allowed for immersive ecstasy, eyes that generated a sense of being, soft gentle lips for kissing, supple skin for a comforting tight embrace throughout the night, as well as various essential mechanisms.

Not only that&mdash;An ending must be prepared for the prince and princess' tragic romance. Having been crowned with the title of perfection, one was obliged to act out the ending of a transient and beautiful romance.

In the end, the creator went mad&mdash;That was what Sovereignty said.

Otherwise, a doll that realized love and death simultaneously could not have been created.

"I am equipped with the mechanism called the Killing Organ. This body is designed to conceal countless blades. When the love between the owner and me reaches a critical point, the mechanism is activated autonomously. «Embrace Only Once»&mdash;the first and last deadly embrace. That is how the romance terminates."

His emotionless gaze pierced his hand.

"Simply stated, when the owner and I are deeply infatuated with each other, naturally love comes with embrace. After embracing numerous times&mdash;Eventually one day, blades will emerge from this body to kill the owner I am embracing. Because this system is very special, no one can control it except for the creator. Even after having obtained human traits from my curse, I cannot use willpower to prevent the blades from manifesting. As soon as the opportunity arises, the blades activates, only retracting when the mission is complete."

What kind of mechanism is that? &mdash;Shiraho could not understand.

"Who knows. In any case, this is the system formed by the 'curse,' so I have no idea. When I was just a doll, I suppose there was a device somewhere in my body for measuring love. Who knows if it counted the number of embraces for data&mdash;even this I do not know. Similarly, you humans are unable to keep a counter of your own heart beats, right?"

New questions. So you're currently different from before? And what is a curse?

He cast his gaze into the distance as soon as he heard the questions, then began to recount his experiences when he was still a tool.

At the time, he was just a beautiful doll, without the special ability to make the owner surrender to love with complete abandon. Nevertheless, attracted by that beauty, the owners continued to fulfill their dreams, everything went according to the creator's plan, terminating physically with death by the mechanism of «Embrace Only Once». In the instant of death, they would lament and cry out&mdash;Why must I die by the hand of such a doll?

"Those people didn't know continued usage would lead to death?"

There was no instruction manual and the Killing Organ only manifested for that single instant. Hence, a rumor soon began to spread, that of a "strange doll whose successive owners were found tragically slain." But the more people sought the doll in spite of the rumors, the more beautiful the doll inexplicably became. Hence, the number of tragedies only increased.

Many people. Many dozens of people.

An unending stream. Whenever the doll entered embrace, it heard painful cries.

You decided this on your own! You dared to deceive me&mdash;Such were the victim's dying glares.

"As a result, I was cursed. Cursed&mdash;then inflicting the curse of 'causing owners to fall in love unerringly, then murdering them with the Killing Organ without fail' back upon humans. Although the result achieved remained the same... Indeed, perhaps only through the curse did I truly acquire perfection. Because I obtained the power to make humans truly fall in love."

"..."

"Before I was cursed, there existed cases where owners might give me away or simply treat me as decoration to be admired from afar. But after the curse, owners were doomed to a single fate. All would approach me with loving intentions. But no matter what kind of love they bore, at the moment of death they would regain their senses to curse me&mdash;Before I knew it, I discovered I had gained the ability to take on human form like this."

Saying that, he smiled sorrowfully again.

"Let's end the story of my past at this point... So that's the way it is. This is for your own good. I'm sorry I talked to you in a moment of carelessness, but if you pretend not to have noticed, you can still avoid a fate of death."

"I've been wondering for just now. Why did you speak out to me?"

Faced with this question, he paused for a moment. Then he replied: "Because you looked very lonely."

Good grief.

"...You're not scared that I would be so frightened as to douse you with oil and incinerate you?"

"True, now that you mention it. It was quite risky indeed&mdash;Well, I guess I simply wanted to talk to you."

What a carefree doll. At this moment, I realized it had been a long while since I last relaxed my expression like this.

Nevertheless, I felt embarrassed and turned away.

"My room is this way, follow me."

"Eh? Didn't you hear what I told you? If you stay together with me, you will&mdash;"

It was fine.

Even that sort of thing was fine.

"It will be fine."

"...Why?"

He was the same sort of being, just like me.

With me being a doll, he was the first friend I made, one who was a doll.

So it was going to be fine.

With a matter-of-fact expression, I asked him in turn:

"Can there be romance between dolls?"



However, I ended up falling in love with him.

In other words&mdash;

That made me human.