Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume12 Epilogue (section)

===Part 4===

Powerlessness. Regret. Guilt.

Burdened by these feelings, Kirika ran.

She hated her own stupidity. Going with the flow without realizing it. Starting on her way home in a daze, she had very naturally made her way to the Yachi home. The sudden feeling of reality back then was reprimanding herself now as well. Overcome with shame, Kirika had no choice but to leave as though fleeing.

Everyone thought that she would stay for dinner as though it were the most natural thing in the world. That family had also accepted her extremely naturally. But this fact filled her with suffering.

Clearly she had failed to do anything.

No, not only that&mdash;

"C-Class Rep&mdash;! W-Wait up, please stop&mdash;!"

"?"

The voice entering her ears caused Kirika to stop reflexively. She spent some time feeling countless emotions rocking her brain while turning to look back in trepidation. He&mdash;Yachi Haruaki&mdash;was bending forward slightly, panting heavily out of breath. One arm was suspended in a sling while the other hand was holding a familiar paper bag. Presenting the paper bag forward towards her, he said:

"Huff... Huff... This.. You forgot to take it with you... Man, I must be really lacking in exercise."

"Oh... So...rry. Thank you..."

This was her voice out on the surface. Privately in her mind, the voice whispering in her heart was saying a different answer. Absolutely ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous.

Kirika took the paper bag lightly. "Okay." Haruaki caught his breath and straightened his back. Coincidentally, the cellphone in his pocket made a sound. It was apparently a text message. Haruaki said: "Excuse me, hold on" then quickly read the text.

Then with a demure smile, he closed the cellphone.

"Unbelievably, it's from Kururi. Just a single sentence. She said: 'I decided to buy a fishing hat.' ...Haha, I guess my suggestions didn't go to waste. But I still don't get why the reaction is so cold."

"Is that... so?"

Kirika lowered her eyes and only concurred halfheartedly. Why?

"Yeah, although she lost a lot of blood, the injuries she suffered apparently were not serious enough to be fatal... Thank goodness."

"Thank... goodness?"

"Uh, of course, it's not like everything is great, but I just think there were definitely some good things. It's a shame that we weren't able to get the Indulgence Disk, but Hinai Elsie will return to their side."

"&mdash;Absolutely... ridiculous."

She could no longer bear it. Her voice slipped out of her mouth.

Staring at his arm, Kirika continued. Why, why, why!?

"You're saying... thank goodness? Absolutely ridiculous, argh, absolutely ridiculous! How could things possible be good, of course not. It's not good at all! Why are you saying something like that? Clearly you... you too&mdash;were injured!"

"Uh... Say... Class Rep...?"

Crap, she thought. But her voice could not stop.

Something had gone out of control. The needle of her emotional gauge had broken past the limit.

"This is all... my fault."

"Eh?"

"It's all my fault that you got hurt."

As soon as Kirika finished speaking, Haruaki frantically waved his mobile arm and spoke with a serious expression, anxious and puzzled:

"Th-This isn't your fault, Class Rep! Back then, you were saving me, Class Rep. If you hadn't used «Tragic» to catch me, Kururi and I would have fallen all the way down!"

"That's not what I'm referring to! Not that!"

She could not tear her gaze away from his injured arm.

Helplessness. Regret. Guilt. These emotions were still colliding repeatedly in the depths of her heart.

She felt powerless because she had failed to do what she was supposed to do. No matter how much she regretted, there was no end to her regrets. Hence, it turned into a sense of guilt that felt like someone was lashing her with a whip.

These emotions were harshly reprimanding her. Tormenting her like a curse.

As a result, Kirika moved her lips in contrition:

"If&mdash;If I had caught the key that was tossed at the time, if I had picked it up, if I had snatched it forcefully... I wouldn't have caused you to get hurt! It's all my fault. I also knew Pakuaki's goal from the start. That's right, it's because I knew, that was why I didn't reach out at the time!"

"W-What are you saying?'

Crap.

Shut up.

Hurry and stop.

"If I were the one holding it, surely, surely, surely! I would have opened the box in an instant! Konoha-kun and Fear-kun might have thought the same, but I hope I am different from them! I hope I have surpassed them! No, I believe I have, I've always believed that, so I definitely would have opened the box! Clearly if that happened, you wouldn't have gotten injured! But I hesitated. Because that man was in front of me, I hesitated!"

Ah, yes.

Very certainly. Absolutely. I absolutely can open the box in an instant.

Kirika shifted her gaze to look at his face.

Just as usual&mdash;

A little fazed and confused&mdash;

Despite suffering an injury yet acting like he had forgotten that injury&mdash;

Looking like he was sincerely worrying about my strange behavior&mdash;

Looking like he was trying hard to understand my incomprehensible ranting&mdash;

His extreme kindness. Just by looking at him, my emotions are able to calm down, the depths of my heart become warm, making me wish to be together with him for eternity&mdash;

His face.

For some reason.

As soon as I saw his face, tears gushed out of my eyes.

He stared wide-eyed in surprise. Even so, he was still worrying about my current state.

Let me admit it again. I am certain of being able to activate the key of emotion in an instant. I am certain of providing the key with an upsurge of emotions in an instant. That is why I am filled with regret and guilt.

These emotions implied one thing&mdash;Pride.

Regarding him, compared to anyone else in the world.

I&mdash;

This girl named Ueno Kirika and this boy named Yachi Haruaki&mdash;


"...''Because... I love you''..."


Indeed, to the extent that I will not lose to anyone in the world, certain from the bottom of my heart that I am the one who loves him the most.

This pride I take in loving him.

Nothing more than that.

"..."

After a few seconds' delay, finally&mdash;

I finally realized that those words had slipped out of my mouth into the real world.

I also noticed him looking at me, rooted to the spot.

"Ah&mdash;"

Hurry and stop.

No.

<i>Don't stop</i>.

Feeling her cheeks on fire, feeling the heat of the inexplicable tears, feeling his gaze upon her, feeling the skirt she was tightly clutching...

Ueno Kirika went over things in her mind.

She had already decided to fight.

Having come this far already, she could not do anything like escaping.

Assuming he realized her feelings from the words she carelessly let slip just now... No, this assumption was already pointless. Considering her expression, it was almost certain that the message was delivered. Precisely because of that&mdash;precisely because of that, she had no choice but to do this.

Go, go, go!

Was 'I love you' really okay by itself? Lacking in both will and meaning, this kind of disappointing confession that simply slipped out in a moment of carelessness, was it really okay? Not okay, right, Ueno Kirika? Since shots had been fired to declare war already, the offensive must absolutely not stop here. This absolutely must not be treated as though it never happened. In that case&mdash;

No matter what may result&mdash;

I am not being controlled by others. Neither am I being forced by circumstances to say it. Rather than for other's sakes, I wish to hold my head high proudly for myself, making a confession where I am simply following my own feelings.

This time, I must use my own unmistakable hands, I must use my undistorted will, I must use words of genuine truth.

Then there's no choice but to erase... that half-baked confession I just made, right&mdash;?

She understood clearly, very clearly.

Hence, Kirika gazed straight at Haruaki once again.

Trying desperately to keep control of her voice that was about to tremble.

Understanding clearly that there was no need to hold back on account of others.

Holding her head up high proudly, she declared:


"I have always... regarded you as a member of the opposite gender&mdash;and loved you, Yachi."


She could sense her hand trembling nonstop, clutching her skirt tightly throughout.

She could sense his body and mind still frozen.
[[image:C3 12-309.jpg|thumb]]

As well as behind him&mdash;


''She could see Konoha standing there, frozen with an expression of utter shock''.


Then the shopping bag in Konoha's hand fell to her feet.

"Kono... ha-kun...! Wait...!"

Before Kirika's voice could reach her, Konoha had already turned around and broken into a run.