Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume17 Epilogue (section)

===Part 5===

Then&mdash;Fear turned to Haruaki and said:

"Hey Haruaki, I've got something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Take the Indulgence Disk found inside Dainsleif and put it into me."

"Eh? Right now?"

"...Yeah, right now."

Fear nodded seriously.

"Can't we put it in when we get home? Things are such a mess right now, you're probably still exhausted, right?"

"No, I'm worried my determination will waver if I wait until later. It's best to do it as soon as possible."

"Uh sure, if you say so, I don't really mind..."

For Fear, putting in the final Indulgence Disk meant losing her remaining combat power. Hence, Haruaki did not disagree with the logic that her determination would waver if she waited until later. At the same time, this was also Fear's final step to reach the goal of "sealing away the possibility of hurting others." It was not surprising that Fear was anxious to get it done quickly.

Although it was not surprising, Haruaki still felt that something was not right.

(...?)

Before there was enough time for him to figure out why, Fear had already gotten up rapidly. Looking around, she said:

"It's too embarrassing to do it outside, so let's borrow the tent over there."

"O-Okay."

Seeing her start walking, Haruaki got up too and followed her.

Along the way, for a brief instant, Fear halted her steps and looked to the side.

The scene on the sports ground was the same as just now.

There was Konoha, Kirika, Kuroe, Kotetsu, Sovereignty and others, as well as the superintendent's faction&mdash;It was like the aftermath of a festival.

Haruaki finally realized the reason.

The side view of Fear's face gazing at that scene was why he felt something was not right.



They were now inside the small tent. Probably used by lower-ranked knights to rest, the tent was not particularly large or luxurious, just a space isolated from the outside world by tent fabric.

Fear rummaged through her chest pocket to fish out the Indulgence Disk they had just picked up from Dainsleif's remains. After gazing at the Indulgence Disk in her hand for quite a long time&mdash;

"With this... I won't hurt anyone ever again. Go, put it in."

She handed it over to Haruaki. After receiving it, he saw Fear prepare to unfasten her buttons and undress. He saw the expression on her face.

By the time she realized, Haruaki was already holding her wrist, stopping her.

"You... Are you hiding something from me?"

"...!"

Fear's eyes flashed. Haruaki became certain as a result.

"Tell me. It's something very important... Right?"

She looked down. Silence descended upon the tent.

Insistently and patiently, Haruaki waited for her to speak.

Soon after, silently...

She shook her head of silver hair lightly.

"...Must I say it?"

There was only one answer.

"You must."

She suddenly relaxed her tense cheeks and looked back up with a philosophical smile.

In a calm voice, she started to explain:

"Like I mentioned earlier&mdash;I was forged from cursed steel, a device operating with the power of curses as an energy source. The Dominion Lord also crafted the Indulgence Disks as limiters to seal away individual mechanisms. In order to control the thirty-two mechanisms, thirty-two Indulgence Disks were made. Because they are limiters, once inserted into my body, only the Dominion Lord knows how to release and take them out."

Only the Dominion Lord who had met his end.

Haruaki could not help but feel this was a very ominous fact. Following this ominous feeling, his heart gave up on beating its regular rhythm earlier. He experienced a chill throughout his entire body yet hot sweat was seeping out in contrast.

Fear continued.

He was unable to stop her from continuing&mdash;

"To me, the curse arising from this steel is the heartbeat allowing me to move. The Indulgence Disks were created for the sake of eliminating curses&mdash;In other words, they are devices existing to thoroughly halt my operations as an object."

"...Huh?"

Haruaki's mouth gaped while he stared speechlessly, emitting a weird sound.

Fear maintained her smile.

"What would happen with the stopping of a curse that is equivalent to a heartbeat? Naturally, it also means that my heart will stop. It means I'll turn back into ''just a block of steel for which moving is physically impossible''&mdash;"

"No, hold on, wait wait wait! I totally don't get what you're saying, I can't understand at all!"

"Haha, Haruaki, you're panicking way too much here. Then I'll make it simple... Once this final Indulgence Disk is inserted, ''it will stop all the functions of the object that is me. I won't move again, and of course, I won't be able to take human form again''."

His mind blanked out greatly.

After quite a while, only then did Fear's words slide into his mind.

"A-Are you an idiot!? No way, this kind of thing must not be inserted! How meaningless, it's too dangerous!"

With feelings of reckless abandon, Haruaki glanced at the Indulgence Disk in his hand. However, Fear reacted differently.

"No, Haruaki, this is meaningful. I must do it."

This time, Fear grabbed his hand with her little hand.

"''Because my curse cannot be lifted unless this is done''."

"Huh...?"

"Pakuaki also mentioned this and I have a feeling it's the truth. After all, this is my own body. When face to face with the Dominion Lord, I remembered too..."

Her voice was calm and emotionless, as though simply recounting the truth.

"My curse is very special. Born from a loathsome creation process that used cursed steel as raw materials, it could be said that I am the curse itself. This curse, which stands as the root source, is unlike the acquired curses of others that simply stick on the surface. I can be considered the crystallization of curses as a type of power. A curse so concentrated that it could be used as a power source, a curse buried deep inside, a curse lurking at the very bottom..."

As though trying to help him calm down, Fear gripped harder with her fingers.

"So, for this kind of curse that's like a crystal, the calm and peaceful Yachi home's purifying power that comes from the terrain 
probably isn't gonna work on me. The method of doing things beneficial to others, this convoluted way of slowly gathering positive thoughts and emotions probably isn't gonna work on me either. Because the difference is too big. The curse exists in this block of steel that is me, buried deep in the very bottom of the box."

"F-Fear, what are you talking about? Of course it can be lifted. Everyone will... Look, in fact, take Kuroe for example, she lifted hers..."

The silver hair swayed left and right lightly.

"I said it already, right? The curse plaguing me, forged from cursed steel in the first place, is different from the acquired curses of others... Right, Pakuaki also said that the analogy for what everyone is doing is like using wind from a fan to blow away gold leaf that's gilded to their surface, like wiping with a cloth. But I am a composite entity where the gold particles were already melted into the body, so no matter what, the gold is impossible to extract..."

No, no, no, absolutely wrong. Because a rejectable name was brought up, Haruaki hastily clung onto this point. Pakuaki, that guy was to blame for everything. All lies, assuredly. He had deceived Fear. Definitely. Otherwise&mdash;

"However, the Indulgence Disks are devices tuned from the beginning to be able to suppress my curse. That's why they are the only things that can take instant effect. Indulgence Disks were developed for the sake of suppressing the special curse that serves as my power source, so they can also produce a secondary effect of suppressing other, ordinary curses."

"H-Hold on. Please, could you wait first..."

"I can't wait any longer. I started out cursed by what can be called the crystallization of curses. Because I was also used as a torture tool, I am cursed in the ordinary way too. If the ordinary curse on the surface is lifted without eliminating the curse in the body's core, my madness probably won't go away. My darkness stems from the curse inside me. So, I must lift two kinds of curses&mdash;in other words, the curse at the very root inside me, as well as the curse I gained from being cursed as a torture tool."

"I'm asking you to wait..."

His entire body could not stop trembling. His mind could not operate either.

Fear pulled his hand over to her. As he watched, she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Pleading: Please understand.

Pleading: Please listen to me.

"Haruaki, ultimately, I've only got two choices."

"Two...?"

"The first choice is to not put in the Indulgence Disk, to carry on as before at the Yachi home to receive positive thoughts, to receive the land's purifying power, to do things beneficial to people to lift the curse, like what Cow Tits and Kuroe have been doing. After a few years or decades, this would probably lift my acquired curse. Perhaps it can lift the curse arising from people cursing me as a torture tool. But even so, the curse forming the root of my being is still not going to change. It will still continue to nurture insanity and darkness."

Taking a breath, Fear continued:

"The second choice is to put in the Indulgence Disk. With that, the curse at my core will be neutralized, insanity and darkness will disappear, and I definitely won't hurt anyone again. If I remain in your home in this sort of state, in a few years or decades, my acquired curse will probably go away as well&mdash;"

"But!"

He interrupted her. He had to interrupt her.

Haruaki clenched his fist&mdash;

"But with that... You won't... be able to move, ever again! All functions will cease, turning into something like an ordinary object! I won't be able to see your current appearance ever again!"

Fear suddenly relaxed the tense corners of her eyes and replied:

"Yeah."

"...No way! What is this? How can this be acceptable? I can't do it... I absolutely can't do something like that!"

He yelled in a stiff voice.

He imagined Fear, still and motionless. He imagined Fear never speaking again.

He did not want to acknowledge that kind of future at all.

"But Haruaki, I've been thinking... I have to atone."

Fear's slender fingers switched targets for what she was holding. From his right hand to his left hand.

She switched to holding his left hand that had fingers missing.

"Fear! Don't make me keep repeating myself, how I feel about this is...!"

"It's about me, not what you think... Unforgivable. I cannot forgive myself."

After murmuring that, Fear laughed.

"No... This reason is too pessimistic, although it's not a lie."

Fear gazed into his eyes.

Then she explained the true reason.

"I want to be at your side forever. As long as I'm with you, I'm satisfied. Lifting my curse, to be able to hold my head up high and say I absolutely won't hurt you again, with a clear conscience&mdash;Forever at your side. That's the sincere wish from the bottom of my heart, which I want to come true more than anything, even if it means giving up everything else."

He could not help but notice.

That there was not the slightest pretense in Fear's words.

Because to this date, he had always been watching her, always believing in her.

He could not possibly make a mistake in seeing the direction of her feelings.

He must not make a mistake either.

"But in that case...! Unable to speak again, unable to move again, unable to eat rice crackers again! Is that really okay? It's absolutely not okay!"

"But it's nothing more than being unable to speak, unable to hug you, unable to eat rice crackers, trivial things of this level&mdash;That cannot constitute reason enough to stop me, right?"

Fear caressed the stump of his lost fingers, sliding slowly, then lifted his hand up.

She moved towards his chest, his shoulder, his neck then his face.

Right in front of his eyes was Fear's radiant smile.

"Only the joy of lifting my curse, to be with you forever at your side&mdash;Now that's truly the greatest happiness. Even surpassing that of touching furry animals, surpassing that of eating rice crackers. I'd rather be with you, even if it means not eating rice crackers for the rest of my life."

"Ah..."

His entire view was occupied by Fear. His entire mind was occupied by Fear.

He was clearly hearing words of such happiness.

But why&mdash;

Why did his chest feel so painful, as though it was about to burst?

"Putting in the Indulgence Disk is like a promise. It guarantees that I can definitely stay with you forever. Unbreakable, absolutely indestructible. When I think about it this way, perhaps... Umm, it's like putting on a wedding ring. Hoho."

Fear's shoulders shook lightly in embarrassment.

"To achieve this, I'm willing to do anything, to endure anything, to give up anything... Even giving up all the various joys waiting for me in the life ahead. My decision is firm. But, if you... if you think this isn't enough&mdash;"

She leaned a step closer to him. The warmth of her breath. The color of her eyes. The fragrance of her hair.

"...''Then right now, give me a lifetime's worth''."

He could not help but understand, that everything&mdash;

In her heart, she had already reached the answer.

All he could do was give her a push.

Hence&mdash;

"Ahhh, ooh, ah...!"

Haruaki's throat convulsed, making pathetic cries while he spread his arms to embrace Fear. Putting in all his strength, he embraced her for a lifetime's worth.

"Fufu, damn you, shameless brat, you're so like a child. Can't be be helped, here's a lifetime's worth as well..."

Fear wrapped her small arms around his back and hugged him tightly in return.

A soft sensation appeared on his lips.

A lifetime was simply not enough. Including the next life after reincarnation and the subsequent third life, he wanted all of Fear in advance right now. He wanted Fear to fill up every portion of his entire being. Her warmth, softness, taste, voice, breath and the feeling of her hair.

He did not want to separate. He did not want to lose her. He did not want to forget her.

His tears and pathetic sobbing were such a nuisance. Clearly he wanted more, even more, much much more of Fear to fill himself, but she stuck her tongue out, licked his tears and said with a smile: "So salty." A new image of Fear was added to his heart. But that was not enough, nowhere near enough&mdash;

"We can't stay... hugging together forever."

No such thing. He wanted this to continue forever. Haruaki exerted more force through his arms but Fear withdrew as though her body were as light as a dream. Only a few strands of silver hair became entangled on his fingertips as though reluctant to part ways.

His vision went blurry due to tears. Fear gazed straight at him.

"...Put it in. This is the signal that I, cursed as I am, will no longer be cursed."

Her eyes were brimming with tears too.

However, her face was smiling.

As though conveying the message that it was truly the happiest thing in the world to be able to say this&mdash;


"...Personally, by your hand, lift my curse. Haruaki..."


Then, for a long time, a very long time...

All sound vanished from that space.