Editing HEAVY OBJECT:Volume16 Chapter 1 (section)

===Part 5===

They had advanced to the next phase.

Night had long since fallen.

Quenser, Heivia, and the others returned to the maintenance base zone, but no one came out to greet them.

Everyone was otherwise occupied.

Specifically, Major Frolaytia Capistrano was using her laptop to argue with a carefree female operator of about college age.

“What!? You can’t release the information!? Now of all times!? Are you insane, operator!? The reactor has already been taken to the tourist area in the south Transylvania District. If they install that in their hollow model, there will be no avoiding disaster!! Just put me through to the colonel!!”

“Again, I must apologize, Major Capistrano. Nothing you say can give me the authority to do that. When passing strategic intelligence to another world power, Article 55 Paragraph 8 requires the establishment of a special committee made up of both military and civilian experts under the management of a royal so they can vote and approve of the release based on the principle of civilian control.”

“Time is of the essence and we sweep this stuff under the rug all the time, so why are you so picky now!? Oh, I get it. It’s the end of the year, so I bet you have an auditor standing right behind you! But this isn’t just about the Information Alliance! A Legitimacy Kingdom safe country sits adjacent to the Transylvania District! How many tens of thousands of innocent people do you think are going to die!?”

“Please stop this, Major Capistrano! If you pressure me any further, it will only serve to harm my health! And I can’t charge my stomach medicine, hot milk, and homemade Frolaytia body pillow cover as business expenses!!”

“Wait, hold on, don’t hang up! And what the hell was the last item on that list!?”

“Ordering the same brand of tobacco as my waifu Tia wasn’t easy, but getting the scent just right is so important. And let’s not forget this oh-so-wonderful boobs mousepad!!”

The static of a closed connection rang mercilessly from the laptop.

There seemed to be a fair amount of chaos in the chain of command during this emergency. The level of tension was entirely different. There seemed to be a discrepancy in the information they were working off of.

The superbly huggable busty silver-haired officer was extremely irritated at being brushed off by the carefree operator (♀) who was in her third year of service.

She was not a fan of the clever and efficient working style praised by those office workers who thought it made them interesting to eat nothing but curved bananas and sticky Greek yogurt. 

But when the two idiots peeked inside the room to see if it was safe, they felt the same sense of despair as noticing a grenade on the doorknob only after it was too late.

After all, this was that busty sadist. Their experience told them this mood of hers never ended well for them.

“(What do you think?)”

“(If we’re lucky, she’ll just step on us with her boots. She might have us get on all fours to use as chairs, but I’m actually okay with that.)”

“(What, that’s all? Why was I even worried then? Both of those sound more like rewards to me.)”

“(I’d say borderline acceptable is that thing where she grabs your legs and steps on your you-know-what with her heel. That one’s tricky because the slightest shift in her weight can send you to heaven or hell.)”

But when Frolaytia lit her long, narrow kiseru, she spoke up in sudden realization.

“Oops, I forget my ashtray. Now, what to do with these hot ashes?”

“Whoa, whoa! That’s taking it a step too far!!!!!!”

“Whoa, whoa! That’s taking it a step too far!!!!!!”

Her love was too much for their bodies to bear, so Quenser and Heivia had to let their commander vent her anger verbally instead.

“The Transylvania District is ready to blow and the fuse has already been lit, but they’re still treating it like an Information Alliance safe country. We could end this without any victims if we act now, but they refuse to send a single warning because of the silly politics between world powers.”

“So what’s the situation?”

“Things go kablooey the instant the southern tourist area declares independence from the Transylvania District. At this rate, there is no stopping the two safe countries from using Objects against each other. The south used their wealth to acquire a reactor, so I’m sure they’ll use that gem to fill their empty jewelry box.”

“Which means?”

“The Transylvania District sent an Object to the proposed new border because they naively assumed the wealthy south did not have an Object. If we could only inform them of the threat, they could at least avoid an unexpected battle there.”

“This is an emergency, so why not send out a pirate broadcast or post an online video disguised as a leak?”

“Heivia, I appreciate the courage, but it would never be appreciated during your lifetime. Only so many people have the necessary information, so even if you disguised the source, the Black Uniforms would still track you down. Schools around here might erect statues in your honor a hundred years after your death, but is that good enough for you?”

“…”

The two idiots responded with halfhearted smiles.

They were on the battlefield for the extremely pragmatic reason of earning money and social status, so they were not going to get themselves killed just because it was “the right thing to do”.

However.

However, they were also not mature enough to just let these things happen. After all, this would be a disaster even greater than the Norther European Restricted Zone created by historical taboo of a city with an Object reactor buried beneath it. And this was not something that had already happened. They were being asked to sit around when they knew it was about to happen. That was too heavy a cross to bear. They did not want to be stood against a wall and shot for violating military regulations, but nor could they want to struggle to sleep for the next 80 or 90 years of their lives.

Philanthropy could go to hell for all they cared.

This was for themselves. The two potatoes and their busty silver-haired commander worked together to think.

And finally…

“I guess we have to go with our last resort.”

Frolaytia did not sound at all pleased with the idea.

The two idiots leaned forward.

“Eh? Eh? You have something up your sleeve, Frolaytia!?”

“I knew it. The higher ups always have a fish story or scapegoat ready to go when things get dicey. She’s settling down on her nice childbearing hips and has no intention of turning tail and hauling ass. That means she’s still got some hope in her gut there.”

Frolaytia kicked Heivia’s shin below the table.

“I really don’t want to do this. It’s like an AED or fire extinguisher. It’s a relief to have on hand, but it doesn’t fully solve the problem in front of you. Hey, Quenser, why do you think professional soldiers are willing to take in battlefield students like you? There has to be something in it for us, right?”

“You mean other than raising future engineers to increase the overall quality of the Legitimacy Kingdom military in the long run?”

“Ha ha ha. Do you really think those decrepit old councilors care about anything after their own deaths? The seven-day forecast puts them to shame when it comes to long term planning.”

“…”

He was not sure what to say to that.

The busty silver-haired commander pointed her kiseru toward his nose.

“Soldiers like us are bound by regulations, but battlefield students like you exist outside that system. It’s a gray area, but there are times when you can’t be punished for acting outside of the military’s rules. It’s like playing cards or a revolution of the wealthy. It might be tricky to get the conditions just right, but by keeping the possibility on hand, we can sometimes effectively sidestep all the pain-in-the-ass politics between military units and political factions. So most large units will accept one or two students as a trump card you would prefer not to use.”

“Hold on a second. I don’t like where this is going.”

“Mister, it’s time you snuck across the national border.”

This was the problem with people who took their job seriously.

They did not know when to stop. Just when you thought they might be cutting loose for once, they dropped a major bombshell. Why did those idiots not understand how manners or wabi-sabi worked?

“Go to the southern tourist area of the Transylvania District, an Information Alliance safe country, and stop them from placing their new gem in their empty jewelry box. If a professional military unit snuck across the border for an assassination mission in a demilitarized area, it could easily start a world war, but you are the exception, Quenser. We will consult the legal department to work out the formalities. Yes, I know. We can say you were fed up with being overworked on a daily basis, so you ran off like a coward. You crossed the border without meaning to and happened across the party for the declaration of independence, but as an Object-obsessed freak, the discovery of the hidden Object put you in a geeky fervor and you ‘accidentally’ damaged some important component while poking around. But the south can’t demand you pay for the damage to the Object since it doesn’t officially exist. Well, we can work out the details later, but that sounds good as a general idea.”

“…”

She rattled it all off a little too smoothly.

He was almost certain she had worked this all out well before opening her mouth. It was like going on a date with someone while they hid a very important ring behind their back all the while.

Frolaytia had already thought up this other plan (even as she snapped at the carefree operator earlier), so now she winked while the kiseru wiggled in the corner of her mouth and she rested her elbow on the table.

“Of course, it won’t just be you, so don’t worry. Quenser, visit the intelligence division and ‘steal’ a radio set.”