Editing Toaru Majutsu no Index:GT Volume5 Chapter1 (section)

===Part 5===

The supplementary lesson did not end until evening.

Komoe-sensei was being especially strict today, so there was no snack break. Kamijou Touma had failed to acquire a crucial source of nutrition. Alice had enjoyed herself with a smile on her face throughout, so she may have confused the apartment with an amusement park.

(Ugh, what do I do now? I just hope Index and Othinus haven’t cast out their dignity and started eating the cat food.)

“By the way, Komoe-sensei, what are you doing for dinner?”

“Well, since looking after you took up my entire day, I don’t have time to fix anything, so I’m having something delivered. Oh, here it is. Thank goodness for smartphones.”

The doorbell did not ring, so she must have noticed the quiet click of the broken button. The 135cm teacher walked to the thin front door. The bicycle delivery person was another high schooler who must have decided their New Year’s money wouldn’t be enough.

(Huh, so you can work jobs like that as long as you have a phone? Wow, modern technology opens up so many opportunities.)

Kamijou was legitimately impressed, but then he realized he didn’t have a bicycle. He checked the mall website with his old folks phone, found they cost 5000 yen even on sale, and fell further into depression.

He stared intently at what his teacher received.

“Wh-what!? Those boxy cardboard packages… Wait just a second! Am I dreaming? Those are the legendary Chinese takeout boxes I thought only existed in movies!!”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Kamijou-chan, do not assume your narrow view of the world has shown you everything the planet has to offer. Red Town is in fact a monstrous global chain that made the word yakisoba a household term across the globe. Really, Japan is behind the times here.”

Komoe-sensei opened the top of the tall package like a blossoming flower.

It was red.

“Eh? Huh?”

Kamijou Touma wasn’t sure he really wanted to see this. He felt faint as the toxic red of ketchup stabbed into his eyeballs. This was supposed to be yakisoba, but for whatever reason it had a ton of sliced olives in it, that stuff melted on the top had to be pizza cheese, and his nose detected the sweet aroma of cinnamon. Sprinkled on top where you might expect red pickled ginger were red cranberries. If they had to go with something Western, couldn’t they have at least used some kind of pickle?

“Um, Sensei? You’re, uh, sure this is supposed to be yakisoba?”

“Mmm, there’s nothing quite like Los Angeles style☆ I wonder if it goes well with beer?”

Amazingly, this didn’t appear to be a bad joke.

Really, he should have expected something that barely resembled real Chinese food when they started using a Japanese word like yakisoba instead of an actual Chinese dish name written with complicated hanzi. Like a game of telephone, something had gone horribly wrong as things moved from one country to another. He was no longer willing to try and get a bite of her food. This was a culinary bucking bronco that would throw off any beginner who tried it. His chance at some zero-cost nutrition had gone out the window.

After nervously leaving the apartment with Alice (who was still grinning like she hadn’t noticed the threat), he tilted his head.

“Wait, was that something like udon carbonara? It might have been perfectly fine if I threw out my rigid Japanese preconceptions.”

“Udon carbonara!!”

“I’m not buying you any, Alice. No, stop! Don’t throw your hands in the air and run over to that convenience store!”

After the financial blow that had cost him earlier, he quickly grabbed the collar of her dress to stop her. That was enough for her fine blonde hair to spread out and give him a glimpse of her slender nape. Was charging in headfirst the only card in this girl’s deck? But unlike the comfy neighborhood supermarket, convenience stores didn’t have free samples for kids to munch on.

She seemed to mistake this for some kind of game because she laughed and flailed her arms and legs around, the fluffball on the back of her apron shaking every which way. She still had the gentle atmosphere of a storybook character.

“Then what will you get to eat on the way home?”

“Do you see what’s inside my wallet here, you stupid girl? I only have one 1000 yen bill and enough to cover the sales tax! And why are you still with me!? I thought I left you in Komoe-sensei’s care!”

“Tsukuyomi Komoe is not the teacher.”

“What? Um, Alice, I know she’s only 135cm, but she is a schoolteacher.”

“But she is not the girl’s teacher.”

???

Did she just have a weird way of talking, or was this supposed to be some kind of riddle? She seemed to operate on some unique fairy tale logic. She always smiled innocently and had no hesitation in her eyes. She didn’t seem to just be making it up as she went along and there did seem to be some internally consistent rules that worked as her own 1+1=2, but Kamijou couldn’t imagine what they were.

(Well, classes are out for the break, so unless they have club activities to supervise, the adults of Anti-Skill will be out patrolling. They are teachers on the inside.)

“Teacher, what is wrong?”

“Nothing…”

He wasn’t sure why he was so hesitant to say it out loud. He had already left Alice in Komoe-sensei’s care only for the girl to escape. He didn’t know where she came from, but could she have carefreely slipped away from ''somewhere'' before ending up at his dorm room? Saying he was going to leave her with someone else might just give her time to prepare to escape again.

“To the station! Everyone to the station! They’re broadcasting live!”

“You mean there are TV cameras there? Now’s our chance to get our voices heard!”

Some young people ran by carrying homemade signs talking about the Winter Cleaning. They were hiding their identities with scarves and construction masks over their mouths and sunglasses and ski goggles over their eyes, but it looked more like they were putting on a show for the cameras than participating in any kind of serious underground activities. The college students hanging out on the roadside drinking cans of a fruity alcoholic drink didn’t seem connected to that in any way. The city looked peaceful at first, but there were signs it was on edge. There was a risk of trouble unrelated to the Winter Cleaning cropping up somewhere. Night was falling, so he was honestly afraid to leave young Alice alone out here even if she wasn’t strictly his problem.

(If it wouldn’t cause any trouble, I’d be fine looking after her for a few days, but wouldn’t her parents or dorm manager be worried once it gets dark? Especially with how things are right now.)

“Alice, do you have a phone with you?”

“Phone?”

She tilted her head at his question.

It was unusual to find someone without any kind of mobile device these days, but her clothing was unusual too. Was she someone’s sheltered daughter? He understood being concerned about what your child might see online, but…no, that wasn’t the point. He decided to focus on something else here.

“Hm? Heh heh. Do you like the dress?”

She spread her arms and innocently showed herself off, but he was more interested in the fact that he couldn’t see any kind of GPS security buzzer on her doll dress. That suggested her unseen parents hadn’t just cautiously cut her off from the internet. It felt careless.

Anyway, it wasn’t looking like he could get her to show him her address book so he could call whoever looked after her.

(This is looking worse all the time. But I can’t just leave her out in the city for the night.)

“The ATMs start back up on January 4. That’s about a week from now. And if she keeps buying food, the 0-yen lifestyle of my nightmares will be here by the end of the day!!”

“Hmm?” Alice walked alongside Kamijou, a small index finger on her lips and her head tilting. “But you don’t seem to be returning to your dorm room.”

Of course he wasn’t.

He was living the New Year’s Tokyo survival life with no food back at the dorm since Index had devoured all six slices of bread in a single night. The 1160 yen in his wallet was all he had. If he didn’t secure some highly cost effective food immediately, he would be starving to death not in the sweltering desert or on an icy mountain but in his own dorm room. He would have to resort to licking the ketchup out of the leftover packets that came with convenience store frankfurters.

“If I don’t want Index to eat it all, it can’t be bread, cookies, or anything else edible as is. I need uncooked ingredients like rice, meat, and vegetables. And the longer they keep, the more I can buy at a bulk discount price!! Now we’re talking!!”

“Wow, they have a multi-tiered osechi set!”

“Did a convenience store send you as a financial saboteur!? And that thing only has fish paste and small fish in it, but they’re still charging more than 5000 yen for it!! Which is more than I can afford, by the way!!”

This time, convenience stores were truly off limits.

Discount stores had more premade stuff, so even if he bought a large discount package, it would probably all be in Index’s stomach by tomorrow morning. That meant his best bet was stopping by a supermarket and buying rice, meat, or other ingredients that couldn’t be cooked before eating, but he had to be careful there as well. Yes, if he let the 10% off sticker distract him, he might overlook the expiration date and up with nothing but food that needed to be eaten by the end of the day.

Kamijou Touma could not just survive the day.

His only path to survival was a long-term plan that brought him through to January 4, so rushing toward a really good sale could be dangerous.

(If I want ingredients at rock bottom prices, an industrial supermarket is apparently best, but…ugh, I don’t like the looks of this video. There’s an army of murderous middle-aged women grabbing all the products from the shelves.)

All the good stuff would be gone by now and joining that nightmare difficulty battle without the proper resolve could get him crushed to death by the crowd. Grabbing at clothing and hair looked like the norm, so it was much too dangerous to attempt with a baby bird like young Alice in tow. Which meant…

“I guess ''that'' would be the only realistic option.”

“Hm?”

Alice cutely tilted her head as Kamijou led the way to a large train station in District 7. However, he was not interested in the proud and judgmental brand-name shops in the station building.

An 18-car train was stopped at the general-use platform that divided up the overcrowded trains.

But this was not a passenger train or a freight train.

It was a large commercial train that functioned like a shopping center.

Alice’s eyes sparkled like a child at the entrance to an amusement park.

“Wh-what is this place?”

“The Delivery Go Round. It’s apparently classified as a larger version of a mobile sales truck. I heard it copied an older izakaya train that traveled between stations doing business.”

“Look, teacher! That’s Japan’s 5-star hamburger steak restaurant!!”

“Are you trying to bankrupt me, girl!? In real life, they don’t send you to the kitchen to wash dishes – they just call Anti-Skill to have you arrested!!”

“That might not be a bad ''adventure''!!”

“If it’s a one-way trip, it isn’t an adventure – it’s called game over.”

At any rate, he had to buy two tickets just to get them through the ticket gate and onto the platform. That left him with 980 yen. If he couldn’t find anything here, he was well and truly screwed.

“Hey, stop right there, Alice. She looks so innocent, but I swear everything she does costs money.”

“What goes best with tea? Hm, this rich cheesecake looks good. But a simple shortcake would be fine just this once.”

Alice was turning into Little Miss Antoinette as he guided her through the cramped platform door and into the stopped train. She hummed a song while twirling in front of a boutique and accessory shop and pressing her tiny hands against the glass cases.

He was afraid of what might happen if he didn’t caution her.

“I don’t have the money to buy anything nonedible.”

“Heh heh. The girl only wants to look. It’s called window shopping! A good way to spend a lazy day off☆”

“Then stop trying to pull me into that pet shop. I said stop, Alice! No, the puppy dog eyes will not work! Beg all you want, I’m not buying you a bunny!!”

Alice looked like she had stepped out of a picture book, so she did make a beautiful image playing with the animals in front of the shop. The manager must have agreed and thought she would help bring in customers because the friendly young man gave her a fluffy white rabbit to hold.

“It’s so cute!!”

“I’m not buying it.”

“The girl wants a rabbit foot. They’re good luck.”

“Eh? Um, Alice-san?”

She was smiling so sweetly, so he wasn’t sure if he had misheard or this was the kind of dark joke only a child could make.

She played with the rabbit for a while, but Kamijou wasn’t buying what he wasn’t buying. She reluctantly waved goodbye and they finally arrived at the 6th and 7th cars. That was the fresh foods section.

To secure more space, the train cars had two levels. The aisle was at the side of the car and the rest of the area was divided into booths. The design may have been based on a foreign sleeper train, but with a plastic shopping basket in hand, it wasn’t that much different from walking through a somewhat cramped shopping district.

“Beef and pork are both out. To maximize cost performance, it’s gotta be chicken. Fools, you think you can trick Kamijou-san by throwing the sinewy, hard-to-cook chicken breasts in the discount section? Heh heh heh.”

“Heh heh.”

“Alice, where did you even find that chocolate? Put it back.”

“Heh heh☆”

“No!! Do not approach me with that big smile, Alice!!”

The trick to cooking on an extreme budget was to make sure you felt full. That was why people tended to focus on udon and pasta. Or they would move from there to konjac and tofu. But that was the standard and the standard wasn’t enough to survive this New Year’s Tokyo survival life.

“Ho ho? What is this oatmeal? It looks like some kind of oat dish.”

After taking a careful look around, he found something cheap enough for his purposes. But he doubted that was the actual price. It was probably being sold below cost to get more people in the habit of buying it.

For vegetables, he had to go for the flawed ones. That would normally lead you to search out the oversized cabbages and lettuces, but leafy vegetables were all water and did little to fill the stomach. He also skipped right past the out-of-season summer vegetables like tomatoes and bell peppers since they were all expensive this time of year. Even though they could be grown year-round in the agro-buildings.

He instead chose a radish that also had edible leaves and a red cabbage that was kept cheap to help expand the market.

Once he was done, the contents of his basket would cost 978 yen after tax. If they ate just two meals a day, it was looking possible to survive until the fourth of the next year when the ATMs started back up.

The young wife cashier (in a bullet train attendant uniform) smiled and gave him his total.

“That will be 1200 yen.”

“Huh? Eh!?”

He had overrun the 980 yen in his wallet.

Had he miscalculated? No, he had carefully checked each price tag, so it should have come out to 978 yen. So what had happened? Confused Kamijou Touma finally noticed a candy box among the products he had removed from his basket and lined up on the checkout counter.

“Alice!! You snuck this into my basket, didn’t you!? Put it back!”

“Why? It’s already open. Munch, munch.”

“I can’t even return it!? Who taught you that trick!?”

“Heh heh☆ Say ‘ah’, teacher.”

Alice smiled and held out one of the candies between her little fingers, but the supermarket was Kamijou Touma’s holy ground and he refused to do anything as rude as eat the food in the store.

But this extra expense required cancelling either the meat or some of the veggies. He knew he couldn’t abandon the chicken. Nor could he send back the carrots and their high beta-carotene content. That left him with no choice but to tearfully release the green onions. He could use as many of them as he could get, but he wouldn’t die without them. It especially hurt that they were only sold in sets of two. He might have been able to afford just the one!

Once he was done shopping, the regret hit him hard.

[[Image:GT_Index_v05_BW1.jpg|thumb]]

“C-crap. I shouldn’t have returned the green onions. Goodbye, miso soup. Farewell, hotpot. I should have held onto that all-purpose ingredient!!”

“This says it has healthy GABA in it. Here, teacher. The girl wants you to say ‘ah’.”

“Heh heh heh. What do you need a stress reducer for when you’ve never had a care in the world, Alice?”

“Mhh. Here.”

“Why did you just shut your eyes? Wait, don’t feed it to me mouth-to-mouth!”

The assassin spread her little arms and approached him, but he managed to dodge out of the way. She had caught him completely off guard, so it had been a close call. If she hadn’t shut her eyes, the added homing skill might have given her a direct hit.

“Kisses on the lips are special. They’re not like on the forehead or cheek!”

“Sorry. Mouth-to-mouth feeding brings back some bad memories for me.”

And a chocolate that melts in the mouth seemed like an especially bad idea. He was pretty sure it would remind him of harsh reality more than sweet romance.

Plus, he couldn’t afford to joke around. No amount of mourning would bring back his money.

He had a grand total of 29 yen left. That simply wasn’t enough to buy green onions.

However.

“I-I just remembered. We still have my Tatuya point card!”

“What?”

A shiny card was inserted into one of his wallet’s card slots.

He had 1705 points on it. Each point was worth a yen, but it could only be used at affiliated stores. Buying books and CDs wasn’t going to fill his stomach. A drugstore might sell snacks and cup noodles, but only at a markup.

Fortunately, he had a plan.

Kamijou Touma gave a snort.

“First, I buy a random DVD with my Tatuya points!!”

“?”

“Then I return it to another store for some cold, hard cash!! Mwa ha ha!! That paper money is as good as mine now!! This New Year’s Tokyo survival life is finally turning around!! What was I so worried about!? Wait for me, supermarket! I’ll be back and I’ll buy as many green onions as I want!!”



“ ‘Kay, your total comes out to 120 yen.”

Reduced to raw garbage in front of the register, Kamijou Touma fell to his knees. Alice crouched down and amused herself by poking him.

The reseller had been struck down by divine punishment.