Editing Toaru Majutsu no Index:Crossover4 (section)

===Part 6===

Several of them had been knocked out of the running.

So let us review that information.



(Right Wing)

*Kamijou Touma
*<s>Quenser Barbotage</s> (Burned Face)
*<s>Heivia Winchell</s> (Tranquilizer Gun!)
*Jinnai Shinobu
*Higashikawa Mamoru
*Boy (Jack Elvan)
*Boo Boo
*<s>Shiroyama Kyousuke</s> (In a Higher Dimension with the Queen)

(Left Wing)

*Index
*Frolaytia Capistrano
*Zashiki Warashi
*Bunny Girl Karen
*Waltraute
*Beatrice
*<s>White Queen</s> (In a Higher Dimension with Brother)



The boy-girl ratio was 5 to 6.

With both Quenser and Heivia down, Frolaytia was the only one from her world left.

And there was a decision to be made now that Frolaytia was free: tremble in fear of what she might do now, or go for it because no one would get mad at you.

(…Huh?)

Then Gambler Higashikawa realized something.

(When you get down to it, that 6-year-old Shinobu and the Norse boy don’t really count for the group blind date. And that gray pig is probably the same. Does that mean what I think it does…?)

The college boy cautiously glanced to the side.

“See, Index? You’ve got a bunch of unpopped popcorn stuck to you.”

“Oh.”

His target was the spiky-haired boy named Kamijou Touma.

(If I can get him on my side and set up a united front, won’t I have my choice of whoever I want!?)

That was right.

The biggest problem was bloody Bunny Girl Karen who had been summoned as a set with Higashikawa.

And the greatest trickster of them all, the White Queen, had already left after achieving her goal.

And the two idiots who would be most excited about ''this sort of thing'' had gotten themselves knocked out.

That meant this was his chance. It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance, so he had to take complete advantage of it. The worst possibility for him would have been for everyone to pair up with the partner from their own world, say “Sticking to the basics really is the most relaxing☆”, and leave him trembling all alone. But instead, he had a chance at hitting the jackpot and taking them all for himself. Was this the karma of Higashikawa, death game survivor?

(I’ll do it.)

He straightened his back and put on a manly expression as he strengthened his resolve.

(I’ve gotta do it. I mean, look at all those nice bodies! There’s everything from a black-haired Yamato Nadeshiko to a platinum blonde international type!! I have a feeling the red-armored girl is using the armor to give the illusion of volume, but that’s a separate matter. I’d really like to get rid of the dangerous bunny girl first, but if I get too caught up in making this perfect, I’ll miss my chance. I need to take immediate action!!)

Higashikawa remained seated and moved just his hands to drag himself along the ground like a heavily-armored giant robot on treads. He did that to casually(?) approach Kamijou.

He kept his voice low so Index could not hear while the boy wiped off her mouth with a handkerchief.

“(Hey, boy. How about we team up to avoid any further trouble?)”

“Ahn? What are you talking about?”

“(You don’t want some guy you’ve never even met to get dibs on that white nun, do you? I’m saying I’ll help to ensure that doesn’t happen.)”

“!?”

(That was easy!)

Higashikawa struck a victorious pose in his heart. Pure boys like that really did only ever think about the existing pairings. His thoughts were so simple that Higashikawa thought he might get scolded over what he was getting help with here, but it made the boy easy to manipulate.

This would keep that Kamijou boy focused on protecting Index. Meanwhile, Higashikawa could have his fun with the others!

(Gwa ha ha ha ha! My time has finally arrived!!)

That demon king laughter just about escaped his mouth.

And Kamijou’s eyes sparkled as he voiced his appreciation.

“(Th-that’s what this is about? Okay, got it! Then I’ll help you out too. You want to get closer to that bunny girl, right!?)”

“Eh? No, that’s not what I-…!”

“(No need to worry. We’re both trying to protect someone important to us, so there’s no need to hold back!)”

“Waaaaaiiiiiit!!” tearfully shouted Higashikawa as he desperately tried to course correct, but there was no escaping the powerful current now.

Meanwhile, 6-year-old Shinobu tilted his head and asked a question.

“Hey, Nee-chan.”

“Yes, Shinobu?”

“What do you do to win a group blind date? This latest way to have fun is really confusing!”

The sexy ancient woman was not sure how to answer. She had lived a long life, but group blind dates had not been a thing in the Edo period. ''Yobai'' had been common back then and that could be seen as an even more aggressive way of meeting people, so the past had hardly been modest, but that knowledge was still of no use here.

So the Zashiki Warashi secretly tugged on the clothing of the person next to her.

“Hmm?”

She had chosen to rely on someone with modern-looking clothing, so that bunny girl placed her index finger on her chin and thought about it.

“Well, it would depend on your definition, but I guess the winners are the ones who get someone’s contact information? You generally don’t have people becoming a couple right then and there, so it’s what happens later that matters. Oh, but it can’t be something like PINE where you can casually accept or reject a link with someone. An email address from your ISP or a phone number would be best since those are hard to change.”

“Contact information?”

Shinobu only tilted his head further.

Which was hardly surprising since giving a cellphone or smartphone to a 6-year-old who had yet to enter elementary school would probably get you in trouble with his parents.

But.

“Wait a second.” The Zashiki Warashi had a question as she viewed the group gathered here. “H-how many of you even have a cellphone or smartphone?”

That might sound silly, but think about who some of these people were again.

“I have pigeon deliveries! You can tie a letter to their leg!!” (←Boy)

“Squeal. The fairies apparently deliver letters.” (←Boo Boo)

“My devices are all monitored by the military and contacting an officer for no reason will probably get you monitored by the intelligence division as a possible spy. But if you’re fine with that.” (←Frolaytia)

“Well, I do have one. …But it uses Shinobu’s account, so anyone looking at the data will think you’re trying to hit on a 6-year-old.” (←Zashiki Warashi)

“I generally use prepaid foreign phones. And most of them are the kind that have the battery explode after the mission begins.” (←Bunny Girl)

“I accept both oracle and prophecy formats.” (←Waltraute)

“You can send it to my Shining Weapon.” (←Beatrice)

“My service was shut off because I couldn’t pay the bill…” (←Higashikawa)

“It’s just a normal cellphone.” (←Kamijou)

“It’s 0 yen!” (←Index)

And there you have it. More than half of them had at least one foot in the fantasy or the bizarre. In fact, you could tell things were bad when the spiky-haired boy and the glutton seemed like the most civilized.

Plus, there was a more fundamental problem.

“We were gathered from different worlds, weren’t we?”

“What about it?”

“So what good is swapping contact info!? Having to break through the barrier between worlds every time we want to meet is putting the difficulty way too high! The couple that meets once a year on Tanabata has it easier than that!!”

The only ones who could break through space-time to pursue their target were the Hounds of Tindalos or the twintailed girl who had fused with someone inside a white cocoon. That made the entire group blind date concept pointless, but then a demon gave a whisper.

Yes.

And since it could not have been Hishigami Mai or the White Queen, there was only one possibility: Bunny Girl Karen.

“(Huh? Does that mean we could do anything we want with the people here and none of it counts since they can’t pursue us once we return to our original worlds???)”

Someone quickly sat up straight when they heard that. Higashikawa Mamoru hopped straight up, crossed the table, and leaped toward the girls like he was diving into a pool.

There would be no consequences.

He could do anything. And without anyone being mad at him!

Most any college student would have their rational mind fried by those words!!

“Ah ha ha. Eh heh heh. Let’s do this midday ''yobai'' style!! Japan has such a wonderful culture!!”

Frolaytia remained seated but reached a hand to her side. The college boy had already made his jump, so their conversation was held between their souls.

“Ho ho? So this is a real katana. Yes, it has so much more presence than a stainless steel blade.”

“What the hell!? Why does this Jinnai house have that hanging up atop some deer antlers…!?”

“And nothing we do here will have any consequences. Isn’t that right!?”

Kamijou Touma had a good heart, so he immediately pushed down Shinobu and the Norse boy and covered their eyes just before the diving boy was filleted from the head on down. (Note: Please enjoy an alternate visual instead.) And he flew in an unfortunate direction after that. He happened to touch the off-limits zone of the white cocoon and that meant toodle-oo. (Note: There may be some verbal oddities due to the extreme phenomena underway, but the product is not defective. The white stuff you see is merely sediment, so it is still good to eat.)

However.

“Gisha, goshaaa, gurgle, gurgle, bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!”

It was no longer human language.

After acquiring her tempting brother, the White Queen had obtained eternity and may have begun to create a new world or two.

“H-hey. Even the blood splattered across the table has vanished!”

“Let’s just pray the memories aren’t erased from our minds. And it looks like you were vertically bisected by a sword and then erased from existence, but are you okay, Higashikawa-saaaan?”

But this meant the excited college boy named Higashikawa Mamoru was out of the running.

Half of the boys were gone now. Only Kamijou, Shinobu, the boy, and Boo Boo remained.

Beatrice rested her head in her hand, tapped the table with her other hand, and voiced an idle thought.

“Hmm. If only that spiky-haired boy would die, I could probably rest easy and roll around with Boo Boo.”

“I heard that! I heard every last word of that, y’know!?”

The high school boy bristled and yelled at her, but Beatrice’s eyes were unfocused and her mind was elsewhere. She may have been imagining Kamijou bouncing around like a pinball and finally hitting that white cocoon.

“I-Index! You’re on the girl side, so you say something to that exclusionist…”

“Here, have a fish sausage,” said Waltraute to Index.

“Munch, munch, munch.”

“Nooooo!! They’re trying to turn her against me! And since when is more than one of them trying to eliminate me!?”

But no matter what he said, balance was crucial. No one would give it a second thought if there were 50 men and 50 women in a train car, but if there was 1 man and 99 women, the impression it gave people changed entirely. Even if it was not a women-only car, they would seem to own it.

But there was little that Kamijou Touma, 9th Dan, could do at this point.

(I have to find a way to win Index back to my side! I’m in check and I’ve lost my gold, silver, rook, and bishop, but I can still recover the gold!! But I don’t have enough snacks for that!!)

The spiky-haired boy loudly clapped his hands together and called out.

“D-does anyone have some extra snacks!? It’s time to do battle!!”

“Here you go.”

Someone squeezed out a low voice while setting down a large plate full of cheese and crackers. It was Perfect Othinus in her full-sized blonde girl form.

Waltraute sat up with more surprise than Kamijou. Her legs must have gone to sleep from sitting the Japanese way, so she leaned forward a bit as she stared at the blonde girl wearing an eyepatch, a witch hat, a cape, and a black leather outfit even more embarrassing than a swimsuit.

“Wh-wh-what are you doing here, you bearded head god!?”

“That’s my line. Why was the head god left out while a mere vanguard soldier got one of the limited seats?”

The small boy tilted his head and said “Bearded?”, but he could not be blamed for that. After all…

“I never expect anything good out of you, but this is a new low. Are you going to claim turning into a young girl and waltzing around half-naked – no, more like 7/8-naked – is fine as long as you win in the end!?”

It seemed they had to update a certain assumption. People who were not seated at the table could apparently wander into this group blind date.

“Boo? What’s wrong, Beatrice?”

“N-nothing. …I just felt a chill down my spine is all.”

She was afraid to check. But she could not relax until she did. That was the mental state that led the red-armored girl to check her surroundings.

“(C’mon, isn’t a group blind date supposed to be the time for a college girl to shine?)” (Filinion)

“(I already have a hard enough time meeting people as a police officer, and now this? I must be nice being the main heroine. Yes, the ''main'' one!!)” (Armelina)

…They were there.

Beatrice jumped straight up when she noticed who was spying on her from behind a column: the glasses cow, who seemed to have reverted to her ancestral state with how much her complaining voice sounded like mooing, and the flaaat one, who was getting a bit desperate due to her age.

And while Beatrice and Waltraute of the Kamijou Elimination Team were distracted, Kamijou himself worked to win back Index.

The key was the plate of sliced cheese and crackers that Othinus had reluctantly carried in.

“Here, Index. I have some new snacks.”

“What, just some Mitz? That’s so boring.”

“Okay, that’s it. Let’s take this outside.”

Not only did he fail to retake his gold general, but he just about started a serious battle between Academy City and the Anglican Church out in the yard. However, if he lost her here, he would be truly without backup. He had done nothing wrong, but his heart would be crushed from the same pressure as a man who carelessly wandered onto the women-only car.

“Wait. Can’t I just get Othinus on my side? H-help me, Othiemon! I trust in my understander to share my love of Mitz!!”

“(I don’t care, you fool. And how could you take part in this indecent gathering when you already have me? An unpleasant experience might make a good lesson for this human.)”

“Ah, ahhhhh!! Did you just cutely turn your head away while legitimately abandoning me!?”

She was the head god of an entire mythology, so (with the exception of the White Queen who had gone beyond the gods) she should have been the strongest of the current age. But now that the goddess had abandoned him, the spiky-haired boy’s fate was sealed.

Growing close to a powerful god had its downsides. Plenty of humans had met a terrible fate when the god’s favor turned to hatred or they became the target of another god’s jealousy. Although those stories were more commonly found in Greek mythology than Norse mythology.

Waltraute straightened her back while still seated.

“Now, then. I have been given permission by the head god to provide some divine punishment.”

“That is one hell of a broad interpretation of what she said!!”

“Forgive me, human. But this is my only chance to spread my wings with that boy without Lady Frigg or Lady Freyja interfering. So die.”

“Are all polytheistic gods like this!? Can’t you hide your personal motives a little better than that, you forceful moron!!!???”

The crackling Spear of Destroying Lightning looked like lightning itself condensed into a spear shape, so Kamijou bristled when he saw it.

(The other miniskirt armor girl, Beatrice, is busy dealing with that gloomy glasses girl and flat girl. So dealing with this Waltraute takes top priority!!)

But he could not get conceited. Simply clenching his right fist would be suicide here. After all, he was up against a 100% legit god, so it would probably take his arm off like Othinus’s lance.

But there were some mechanical aspects to Waltraute’s outfit. If common technology was mixed in with the mythical occult, then it was possible she was not simply immune to all modern technology as so often seen in light novels. That meant some tech would still work on her.

Kamijou-san’s skills of observation were what kept him alive, so he had not overlooked a certain something.

Namely, the military tranquilizer gun that Quenser had been fiddling with below the table!

“Die, you freak of a god!! This is what you get for looking like an angel who acts so scatterbrained she keeps getting marriage proposals!!”

Kamijou grabbed the toy-like item from below the table and fired it from less than a meter away.

With a short spraying sound, it fired a nonmetal transparent tranquilizer case with a needle on the end.

“Hmph.”

“Y-you didn’t even dodge!? You just held out your chest!?”

She had forgotten to mention it, but Waltraute’s lightweight miniskirt armor was made from concentrated aurora and could withstand attacks from any monster. It may have created some kind of repulsion field with electric energy, but she did not even need its full power here.

A normal breastplate was enough to deflect this.

There was nothing more he could do.

This was what happened when he disobeyed the main god who had insisted so much that he not rely on guns in the main series. Kamijou Touma sweated profusely as the divine Spear of Destroying Lightning aimed his way.

However.

“Ahahn☆”

An odd voice interfered.

They all turned around to find that the tranquilizer case had somehow managed to ricochet such that it pierced right into the top of the white cocoon.

New Subquest: Kamijou-san interrupted the ultra-divine tryst between the White Queen and Shiroyama Kyousuke. Figure out some way to stay alive☆

“There’s no way that’s possible! Such misfortuuuuune!!”

The spiky-haired boy was really trembling now, but the white cocoon melted before his eyes all the same. They were now in the presence of true radiance. What stepped out was a new form of that white girl. It was a never-before-seen super evolved version that shined with a lamé-like light. This was the USMDSGMR (Ultimate Special Miracle Dangerous Sadistic Good Morning Rare) version. The White Queen gave a dark smile that seemed to ask just who had interrupted her slumber.

“Placing a crude object into the world meant for my brother and me is worthy of-…zzz.”

“The tranquilizer actually worked? But then I don’t see how all that energy compressed above her elegantly raised hand can be safely lowered to the ground! What’s going to happen now!?”

Even when she was caught off guard, that cute last boss was so perfect that she made sure just collapsing forward was enough to destroy the world.

When that white light was carelessly unleashed, it blew away the current universe in 10<sup>-44</sup> seconds. And just 5 seconds after that, the spatial world formed from matter and antimatter cooled enough to create countless particles that acted as the cores of atoms.