Editing Apocalypse Witch:Volume4 Chapter2 (section)

===Part 7===

“Delane here! Your beloved Cinderella Queen is about to give you the afternoon forecast during our lunch break. But doing that the normal way would be pretty boring, right? Come here, assistant! You never have any luck, so how about I shine the spotlight on you today? …Let’s see. (Whisper) If the forecast is wrong, my busty sister will bite her lip and hang her head while she strips in front of the camera for you all!”

“Gyahhh! I never agreed to that!! Wait, I’m not ready for that kind of attention. And isn’t the equator’s weather super hard to predict since squalls will start pouring rain without any warning!?”

“A round of applause for our plain but lewd weather girl who’s second to none when it comes to letting her big boobs go to waste!! And I swear I’m not just jealous. Now, let’s get to the weather. This here is the pressure map. Yeah, this is the equator all right. There’s a huge front approaching.”

“Sacri-sama,” said Aine, running down the hall toward Karuta.

“I’m fine,” was all he said.

There were no physical scars since all his injuries healed after 30 seconds, but the psychological toll was a different matter. He wanted to think he was fine since he was used to pain by now, but if it developed into a phobia, he could end up limiting his options even when his body really was fine. The placebo effect could be a scary thing.

It had been a mess, but he had survived the second round.

It actually helped a lot that he had already had his match done during the morning. He only had one match per day, so now he had the free time to get some rest, spar with Letnahe, and work out a strategy with the others. And his top priority was researching the magician he would be fighting in the third round tomorrow.

However, that turned out to be a problem.

After he left the ring utterly exhausted, Aine had a disheartening message for him.

“Your next opponent has yet to be determined. That match is in the afternoon.”

“So now I have ''too much'' time.”

It wouldn’t hurt to watch that match himself, but he had nothing to do until then. He considered sparring with Letnahe, but the bespectacled teacher shot down that idea.

“Get the bare minimum of nutrition first. One look at your face is enough to know you didn’t eat breakfast. That is foolish and sad enough as it is, but were you planning to skip lunch too? You will never make any progress if you don’t place sufficient importance on food. Sparring with you would be meaningless.”

He recalled hearing that Indians were especially strict about treating food with respect. Karuta had always been inconsistent in when he ate and he didn’t mind skipping meals, but if she wouldn’t spar with him, the decision was out of his hands. He had the free time, but he couldn’t ignore the people he needed to help him.

Aine eagerly clenched her fists in front of her face.

“Sacri-sama, this is our next Catastrophe mission. Let’s go eat.”

“What, did the world’s strongests wander into an easygoing tutorial level? That’s the kind of mission I would expect on an educational program for little kids, Aine.”

But he didn’t have the energy to drag his aching body into his dorm room’s kitchen, so it would be faster to visit one of the restaurants the students were running like this was a festival. Those very restaurants meant the usual cafeteria was closed.

Aine looked out the window to view a machine producing a whirring sound.

“That drone is made of gold and rare earths. I wonder how much I would have if I gathered up all of them. Drool.”

“Don’t eat the tournament cameras. Please. The world doesn’t need a crystal girl’s endoscope footage.”

(If I want to know the food is good, I should probably go there.)

“Um, listen up, everyone. This crystal blossom plays a key role in crystal magic. A god’s name is sealed inside a circuit board smaller than a stamp, and…”

The puppyish Sub Category teacher Sophia Firenze was surrounded by small children in an unused classroom. She appeared to be giving visitors a lecture on crystal magic. She received so many more questions than she did in ordinary classes, so she looked overwhelmed but delighted.

[[Image:ApocalypseWitch_v04_bw3.png|thumb]]

Soon thereafter, Karuta encountered another commotion.

Student Council President Omotesandou Kyouka was speaking with someone in a corner of the hallway.

“Oh, Kyouka! I was looking for you! If my phone has a signal on this ship, yours must too, so why did you have your phone off!?”

“Sigh. Shouka, I was providing commentary for a live broadcast, so I couldn’t have my phone ringing during the match. …Oh, Karuta-kun.”

She looked like she wished he hadn’t seen this, an unusual reaction for that mysterious dark-hearted president. Karuta approached with Aine at his side.

Also…

“Oh, you’re that kid from before.”

“Why, if it isn’t Utagai! Thank you for before!!”

It was the small girl with a bob cut and a light green (maybe yellowish green?) kimono. Her face lit up when she saw him.

Now it was Kyouka’s turn to look curious and Aine tilted her head too. Come to think of it, wasn’t Aine off doing something else when he met this girl?

“What, did you two get to know each other behind my back?” asked Kyouka.

“Utagai helped me when I was lost earlier. Leave it to the world-famous Second Grimnoah to be so large you can forget it’s even a ship. Oh, but I wouldn’t have gotten lost if my sister here hadn’t turned off her phone! Hmph!!”

“Sister?”

The girl’s retelling of that chance meeting made Karuta tilt his head.

Kyouka rubbed her temples and moved her lips like she wanted to say something, but she finally gave up and sighed. When she did speak, it sounded like a confession.

“This is Omotesandou Shouka, my brother.”

“Brother!!!???”

“Oh, did you think he was a girl? But the hat and haori are boy’s clothing. Still, people often make that mistake. Maybe it’s his babyface and maybe it’s his slight build.”

Kyouka was finally back to her usual mischievous self.

Karuta was shocked by this revelation, but Shouka failed to notice and laughed it off.

“Ah ha ha. Don’t be ridiculous, Kyouka. Just look at this muscular beauty. Maybe things were different when I was a kid, but now that I’ve been training my body daily, no one would ever make that mistake!! Right?”

He pulled back his kimono’s short sleeve and bent his arm like he was flexing his bicep, but Karuta could not look him in the eye.

The crystal girl had a question for Karuta.

“Sahri-hama? Hy are you hulling on my heek?”

“Oh, just resetting my senses. Yes, this is what a girl’s skin feels like.”

The upper arm emerging from the kimono was unbelievably bright. Shouka himself probably wasn’t aware, but the way he tilted his head and asked “right?” was more powerful than a hydrogen bomb. Karuta felt certain Yamane Deiri or Nekoumi Hirosuke would fall for him in a heartbeat. Also, Shouka only looked 10 or 12, so how exactly did he define when he was “a kid”?

“I’m going to be a crystal magician one day and then I’ll be as strong as you and my sister!”

Kyouka was not the only one unable to bear the boy’s sparkling eyes.

A filthy avenger like Karuta had to work hard not to avert his gaze.

“The Four Living Gods are so popular. Hard to believe the things they say are about us.”

“Yes, they’re even selling photo books. Photos of Aine-chan and Marika-san soaring through the sky are especially popular.”

“Is that allowed? What about that whatever-it’s-called…likeness rights?”

“It counts as ‘journalism’, so it’s hard to get after them about it. You know how military journalists take photos of cutting-edge warships and fighter planes? It’s like that.”

The president could laugh about it because she did not directly participate in combat and was not viewed as a military weapon like the others. To be fair, she made up for that by getting up on the stage as their spokesperson.

“Marika-san seems to like the attention. And, Karuta-kun, you’re fairly popular yourself.”

“?”

“Look, Utagai! This sketch card is based on your second round match! Ah ha ha. I spent my allowance to buy a whole bunch of these from the art club. That manly look of determination in profile is so cool☆”

Karuta could only scream.

It wasn’t a photo or a video, but the drawing was still embarrassing since it had the realistic look of a courtroom sketch. Kyouka herself sighed while brushing her hair back from her shoulder.

“I really wish they would stop this since it could allow the contestants to analyze each other, but it’s hard to track these analog methods. So just be careful, Karuta-kun.”

Petty bourgeois Karuta was still not used to all this attention, so his eyes widened and his soul tried to escape through his mouth. The world’s strongest would inevitably be viewed similarly to a hero in full-body tights. He was well on his way to wishing he was a masked wrestler instead.

“Anyway, I notice Shouka-kun chose a kimono to dress up nice. I had my suspicions already, but are you two from a pretty well-to-do family?”

“Karuta-kun, I have a prophecy for you: you will regret this once your family shows up. Because I am going to be ruthless.”

He had only meant it as a casual change of topic, but that was apparently a delicate issue for her.

But it was Shouka who unwittingly dropped the real bombshell.

“You somehow managed to evade me yesterday, but I am getting these things to you today, Kyouka. Pajamas, socks, a coat for chilly nights, and underwear!! Mother and the servants asked me to bring you these clothes, so I need you to take them!!”

“Gyahhh!? D-don’t show those off in the hallway with a boy right here, Shouka! And why oh why does the underwear have a kitten on it!?”

The president actually screamed for once when she saw the colorful (and surprisingly cute) piece of cloth. She was apparently fine with showing such things off and setting things up so they would be seen, but she did not want it to happen when she wasn’t in control. …And she only seemed to have a problem with Karuta seeing it. In her panic, had she too forgotten that Shouka was a boy?

(Wait a second…)

“O-oh, no. Does this mean my parents might be on this ship too? Families of contestants got priority tickets, didn’t they?”

“That is correct, but why is it a problem?”

The nonhuman crystal girl had never had a rebellious phase and tilted her head at his panic. She was still a long way from understanding the awkward feeling of having your friends meet your family.

“We were on our way to grab some lunch, so do you want to join us, Kyouka-san?”

He decided to ask, but the president, whose soul was escaping from her lolling head, shooed him away with her hand. She was apparently too mentally overwhelmed for that.

“Oh, Utagai! Please give me your autograph later! You can do it right here!”

“I am not scrawling my name on that expensive-looking kimono, so please don’t even ask!!”

He made sure to stay in public mode even though he was Kyouka’s family. After leaving those siblings, he and Aine were finally off on their quest for food. Unlike the gym’s formal redecoration or the heliport’s showbusiness transformation, the school hallways were decorated with chains of streamers and cellophane stars, giving them the same feel as a school’s cultural festival.

They found a hell of students trying to attract customers.

“We have ice cream, café au lait, cookies, custard, and cake! Come try the tea club’s authentic matcha café!!”

“The world’s cuisine reborn! Come see how tasty the chemistry club can make a simple fried egg! Why not try our unbelievable pure science style of cooking!!”

“How about some light exercise after your meal? Class 2-5 is running a target practice game outside. Hit us just once while we fly around and everyone currently playing the game wins a fabulous prize! The more players, the better your chances!”

“Craving a familiar flavor after such a long journey? The food research club is taking home cooking requests from 130 different countries and regions.”

A handmade gate forming an upside-down U had lots of balloons attached. All the rooms on this hallway had apparently worked together to create a “gathering spot” similar to a food court. It would serve its purpose as long as people thought of it as a good place to kill some time or meet up with someone.

“Now, where should I get some food. I’m not really in the mood for anything adventurous. Eating something awful would really get me down right now.”

“But won’t you have a hard time finding something good when these are all run by students doing it mostly just for fun? Hm, I get the feeling we will not find a wide variety of restaurants that use pure gold as an ingredient.”

Aine’s criteria for a good restaurant were too unique, so he could ignore her.

But he did know one good place.

“If I don’t want to be disappointed…hm, the maid café run by Natalena’s class should work.”

“…”

“Hey, Aine? This isn’t about the maids. It’s about the quality of the food they serve.”

He poked his head inside and received the ugliest look from his high-quality underclassman (in a handmade miniskirt costume). She had the same look as a student at a strictly hierarchical workplace when her friends showed up just for fun.

“Um, do you have something against me, Senpai? What did I do to deserve this kind of harassment!?”

“I couldn’t forget how good that food was.”

“A good upperclassman doesn’t punish his underclassman for being nice!!”

She had said the boys in her class had all voted for the maid café and the girls had not been thrilled with the idea.

The maid café took up two classrooms – one as the customer seating area and the other as the kitchen filled with portable stoves. That was probably standard for the all the student-run restaurants here.

[[Image:ApocalypseWitch_v04_bw4.png|thumb]]

Their repeated battles had caused Karuta’s title as the world’s strongest to lose some of its luster with the Second Grimnoah students, but some middle school girls in maid costumes were talking excitedly and pointing his way. They even teasingly shouted over “C’mon, ''Jane-san''. You need to smile.”

The naughty girl who used a fake name at school put on a smile as stiff as a doll in bad need of oiling. She was technically smiling, but the silver tray held to her flat chest was straining in her grip.

“W-welcome back, master. I will guide you to your seat, so come this way.”

“Oh, you can skip the formalities with me, Natalena. I’m only here for some food.”

“Try that again and I’m starting a maid uprising to overthrow our cruel master. Please don’t drag me back to reality after I get into the part. It’s so embarrassing!!”

Was that how it worked?

Karuta pondered the challenge of mastering the maid arts as he was shown to his seat. In addition to the streamers and cellophane decorations, they had made tables by pushing four desks together and placing a tablecloth over the top. The chairs were just the ordinary classroom ones, so they looked weirdly out of place.

“Natalena.”

“Please call me Jane Ignition here. …Now, what is it, Senpai? Um, were you hoping I would make a heart with my hands and fill your omurice with love?”

“No, I noticed the menu says I can get a selfie with my table’s maid. But to fit in the frame, wouldn’t you have to practically press your cheek against mine?”

“I apologize for anything I might have done to you, Karuta-senpai, but I can only conclude you’re trying to kill me with stress at this point! Everyone has been too shy to order anything from the joke menu the stupid boys made, so please don’t make yourself the first!”

“I won’t. ''But I do have something I want to ask of you.''”

He looked back at the homemade menu created by gluing small photos to cardboard and then attaching clear plastic on top of that and he found they had a surprisingly diverse lineup. In addition to the honey chicken sandwich he had eaten the day before, they had all the basics like omurice, hamburger steak, seafood pasta, pilaf, and shrimp gratin. They also had several options for dessert and drinks. It was all completely different, not just different variations of what could be made in a single large pot. The boys in the kitchen had to be very busy indeed. This may have been the girls’ way of taking revenge after being forced out here by the boys’ superior numbers.

“Wait, does this mean the sandwich I had yesterday was made by a boy? …Wait, wait, wait. Does this mean the very structure of a maid café means you’re never actually eating food made by one of the maids?”

“Why would that matter, Sacri-sama?”

Karuta had stumbled upon a sad quirk of the world, but the crystal girl only tilted her head. He frowned and toyed with the menu.

“I don’t even care anymore. I thought I was in the mood for bread, but now I want some omurice all of a sudden. Aine, what about you?”

“I do not require food to function.”

“But you deserve a treat.” He smiled. “You kept your promise about making yourself useful this time.”

“…”

“I doubt I could have figured out how to turn the tables against Athabaskan without you. His inability to kill his totem animal was a clue you found, right? So I wanted to thank you.”

“Some dessert is all I need. …Yes, this chocolate cake looks very good. The one with the chocolate plate bearing a message in gold leaf. We are most pleased.”

Why did she start talking like a queen lovingly tormenting her prey?

Once they had given their order (to trembling Natalena-chan), Karuta breathed an exasperated sigh.

“I guess it actually works in our favor that the battles are all one-on-one. We don’t have to worry about hidden attackers or suspect our own people.”

Those ideas came to mind so readily thanks to their previous battles. The battle against the Problem Solvers had been one surprise after another, some Sub Category girls had betrayed them at the Crystal Beach, and they had been shaken by the true identity of the Threat at Second Grimnoah.

In a one-on-one tournament, neither side could touch the other until they were in the ring.

These battles were fair, ideal, and absurdly unrealistic.

“Suspect our own people? I would never do anything to harm you, Sacri-sama.”

“Oh, really? I seem to recall you calmly slicing right through my body.”

“You mean the ruse used to break Miss Marika’s spirit when she lost control at the Crystal Beach? You ordered me to do that.”

He had only meant to tease her a little, but her reaction surprised him.

The crystal girl puffed out her cheeks from within.

It was such a rare image he immediately snapped a photo with his phone, which made her puff them out further. That was a bad sign, so he decided it was probably best if he didn’t doodle on her photo.

“Sacri-sama, you are moving your finger an awful lot for only taking a photo. Are you doodling on my face?”

“Of course not. I would never. Heh heh. Yeah, cat ears suit you so much better than dog ears.”

“I rule it 100% confirmed.”

(Uh, oh. I may have pushed my luck too far this time.)

He had only wanted to change the subject to distract her from her anger, but the crystal girl was not that simple to control.

But when he did resume talking, he looked somehow amused with this small change in her behavior.

“Okay, Aine how about this? This is a request, not a command. I ask that we never harm each other and that we always rush to each other’s aid when we’re in trouble.”

“What is that, Sacri-sama?”

“It’s called a pinky promise. It’s a human ritual.”

Aine kept her head tilted.

After a moment, she reached out her pinky to mimic him.

They gently linked fingers.

“Sorry about the wait, master. Please enjoy.”

“Whoa!?”

The superb maid spoke more stiffly than a robot and thudded down a large plate of omurice.

The omurice served to him by Natalena had a topping he had not requested. She had used the omurice and the entire plate around it as a canvas to fashionably and cutely write out a message in red ketchup or demi-glace that succinctly expressed her feelings for him.

''Die.

“…”

“Humans are such baffling creatures. Is that bloody message meant to be a decoration?”