Editing City Series:Volume5b Chapter20 (section)

===Beretta’s Journal===

It is 11 PM and I’m writing this in a vast field on the outskirts of Paris. We’re only a mile from Paris right now. This late at night, the moon provides the only light to see with. We’ve been living a pretty wild lifestyle lately.

The plan is to get about 4 hours of sleep and then enter Paris at 3 AM. Even the German patrols should be laxer at that early hour. I’ll take Rosetta to the mansion, but I need to figure out what to do after that.

<Rosetta rolls over under the blanket next to me.>

Sorry, Rosetta. I should really be taking better care of you, but I feel like I keep giving you a lot of work to do.

On that note, Rosetta has been awfully gloomy ever since we the train ride last night.

I know why: because she rode along in that Heavy Barrel. Seeing it soaked in blood afterwards must have been a shock. Also…yeah, we lost Mallette.

Last night, the train stopped in Fontainebleau. There was no train route taking us any closer to Paris than there. While trying to find a place to spend the night, I remembered that Mallette’s family home is there.

She had told me how to get there before, so we followed the maple-lined central street on and on into the mountains. After about two miles, we indeed found a large mansion in the woods.

We were concerned when we did not see any lights on and what must have happened became clear once we approached the entrance. I still remember the Point I made back then.

<nowiki><I</nowiki> saw a trashed mansion. Almost all the windows were broken. What I had thought was gravel underfoot in the yard was actually shards of glass and what I had thought was the wind on my cheek was a tattered curtain.

The mansion was deserted and utterly destroyed.

The crest on the main entrance said it was indeed the Harculia home and a large Star of David had been painted on the door in a bright enough white to see clearly at night.>

Rosetta clung to me in fear of the wind blowing all around us, so I held her shoulders and explained what this meant. I explained that Mallette was Jewish and the Germans tended to take out their frustrations on the Jews when things were not going their way.

But this never happened to Mallette in the history I had been taught.

History really was changing. It wasn’t just Heinz Berge. If things were changing for Mallette too, then the Germans must have been feeling greater fear than they usually did at this time.

I checked inside the mansion – Rosetta was too afraid to follow me in – and found a tear-off desk calendar that told me when Mallette had been taken away.

It had happened on the 30th. The Germans must have done it as a way of striking back against the uprising in Paris. Too much time had passed to chase after her. There is only one way left to save her.

We have to end this war.

I can’t believe this. Mallette will return to her usual self once the Format happens, so why am I taking this so seriously?

But while speaking with Rosetta during the battle with the dragon, I realized I do want to liberate this world.

I won’t hesitate any longer. I have a pretty good idea how to liberate it. My presence is what is changing history, but that also means I can make this history real.

'''1. Stop the detonation of the Wort Bombe.

'''2. Spread a spirit of liberation to the majority of the people in France.

'''3. Prove that fully closing up the city is not possible.

<nowiki>#3</nowiki> will be the most difficult one.

It’s true, if I become my grandma, that will mean someone from before the Format is here in France, thus proving that fully closing the city down isn’t possible. But that will make me a resident of this world and it will erase my grandma from history.

Starting last night, I wrote out my family tree and made some calculations based on when my grandma probably left France, but it didn’t work out.

If France is liberated, six billion people will have to redo the last 55 years of history, but that is hitting the rewind button, not the delete button. They should be able to redo things well enough. But my grandma and her son, my dad, will be erased.

I am performing a tricky tightrope walk here. Deciding whether or not I want liberation is the same as whether or not I can state with confidence who I am. Yet if I tilt the scales in that direction, my grandma and dad will be erased and I feel like I will cease to be myself. It’s a contradiction.

What am I supposed to do? I want to liberate this world, but I also want to save my grandma.

I keep worrying over this. Is that because I’m a mother now? Still, I have to give it serious thought.

I need the help of the Allies to liberate France. Both to stop the transport plane carrying the Wort Bombe and to provide the broadcast station needed for my words to reach all of France so I can inspire a spirit of liberation in the people and so I can claim to be my grandma.

That will be tricky, but I want to do it so badly.

I am carrying Phillip’s child inside of me and I want to raise that child in this era. As selfish as that is.

<Rosetta is groaning in her sleep. She may be having a nightmare.>

Sorry. We slept outside last night too since we were too afraid to stay in Mallette’s mansion. We borrowed this blanket from the mansion, but it still isn’t exactly comfortable.

<Rosetta rolls over in her sleep. She grabs onto my clothing and does not let go.

Something is scaring her, so she clings to me as if rubbing her cheek against me and refuses to let go.>

Hey, stop that, Rosetta. Since when did you become a sleep hugger?

Not that it matters. Maybe the child I’m carrying has got me thinking about these things more, but I know what to do here. If I hold her tight, she’s sure to feel better. She’ll be fine.

So it’s time to do just that and let my body rest. I doubt we’ll be getting much in the way of rest once we enter Paris.