Editing City Series:Volume7a Chapter1 (section)

===Kawa-Commentary===

Chapter 1: Drawing


*'''General

This was the first serialized chapter. That makes it the first real chapter, so I introduced Benny (my nickname for her) who I had been planning to include at some point. One detail not revealed in the story is that Gleun went along for the ride when the new Benny was brought over from England.

Also, the giant cherry tree was sent over from DC when SF was founded to solidify the ground against the city’s frequent earthquakes.


*'''Page 1

That’s a map of San Francisco in the background, but it’s supposed to be the cover of an in-universe paperback. Oh, and look at the publishing company.

Sarah’s winter outfit becomes the standard from here on. Her friend Elfy (Kawakami Nickname) isn’t a coworker but a friend who lives nearby. She should be quite a bit older than Sarah.

That’s her hair Beretta is reaching for. A young mystical fox’s love of fluffy things was touched on in Paris as well.


*'''Page 2

This is the city when looking south. The Hyper Ben cherry tree was built on the south end of the city, so it should cast a large shadow on the city. I wonder if the people living in the shadowy area get a sunlight tax reduction.

This is a really small detail, but that is Sarah’s shadow on the boutique’s second floor on the left. It definitely isn’t the aftermath of something crashing into the wall there.


*'''Pages 3-4

Benny doesn’t seem to be facing the entrance Sarah used, but her base can actually rotate and move out onto the terrace, so she will sometimes rotate around inside there depending on her mood(?). It’s probably weird to have something so big moving in a dark place like that.


*'''Page 5

Nothing much to say about this one.


*'''Page 6

Here we get a look inside the City Hall. Sarah’s chair is turned to the side because she can’t have the back behind her with her wings. She is righthanded, so most her tools are on her right side.


*'''Page 7

At this time, Benny’s hangar had rails like this. They were removed after her repairs for ease of maintenance. The rails were mostly to send her out onto the terrace when she sings, but they were also used to turn her around and move her during maintenance.


*'''Page 8

Lunch with Plainy. As you can probably tell from the spoons, Sarah is eating a homemade lunch and Plainy is eating a convenience store lunch. Plainy is a human but wearing the same uniform as Sarah, but that is because the SF City Hall has a basic uniform that can be modified for wings or extra arms. They don’t discriminate.


*'''Page 9

The explanation on the interior of the container has some misspelled English, but it was built by Arcs RDC which you might recognize from Hong Kong. The company’s Hong Kong HQ was moved to England where it was rebuilt(?).


*'''Page 10

Just some close-ups, so nothing really to say.


*'''Pages 11-12

It’s cut off on the page, but there is an elevated highway at the very bottom. The musical notes are in perspective because Sarah is drawing them.


*'''Page 13

This chapter’s bungee is from the clocktower toward the city. It’s hard to see, but there is a lake on the bottom right. That is a reservoir for the big cherry tree and also part of the forest park surrounding the tree.


*'''Page 14

Army doesn’t have any color… The English for this page’s title was in my dictionary, but is night flower viewing really a thing overseas?

<noinclude>
{| border="1" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" style="margin: 1em 1em 1em 0; background: #f9f9f9; border: 1px #aaaaaa solid; padding: 0.2em; border-collapse: collapse;"
|-
| Back to [[City_Series:Volume7a_Prologue|Prologue]]
| Return to [[City_Series|Main Page]]
| Forward to [[City_Series:Volume7a_Chapter2|Chapter 2]]
|-
|}
</noinclude>