Editing City Series:Volume5a Chapter8 (section)

===Beretta’s Write Bring: Entry in Heavy Barrel Grazie’s Memory Bank===

I can’t delete it while it’s in use!? Gwah! This is really bad. What do I do?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Really, though. What do I do!?

This is a world where what you write defines you. So that was a critical mistake.

I’ll just have to do something.

But, ahh, I can’t believe this. I can’t stop my thoughts.

Since when have I not understood him?

I was just really, really careless, so I didn’t think he would make it this far and I hadn’t given any serious thought to why he was participating!!

Crap. This is clearly more than just a game.

I was too self-centered.

After coming to Paris as an “exchange student” and getting caught up in so much trouble, I started feeling like a proper Knight Striker. I came here to take revenge or responsibility because a classmate was injured for me, but…what’s this? Why do I feel so confused?

I’m having so much trouble facing someone who seriously came here to defeat me. I’m such an idiot. No, I always knew I was an idiot.

But it turns out I don’t understand the person in Paris I thought I understood more than anyone.

This is so silly. It’s almost laughable. I can’t believe it.

Hey, Phillip. Can you hear me? …No, I suppose not.

<He is not moving. He is simply waiting.>

But whatever. Just listen. I’m probably thinking about you like crazy right now. I’m more serious about it than I ever have been before. And I’m also thinking about something else:

—What does it mean to be Knight Striker?

Since you’re the son of a former Chevalier de Paris family, I imagine you’re very familiar with the common answer.

It means to protect people.

Then why are you here to defeat me?

Will defeating me protect me somehow?

I’m giving this all sorts of thought, you know?

Were you thinking about me a lot too? When you left letters at my room, when you attended lectures for me, when I kicked you, when we ate side by side, when said you were joining the German army and we parted ways at the university gate?

Well, were you?

<He is not moving. He is simply waiting.>

Dammit, you idiot. React to my Signing already. I guess that’s hoping for too much.

But anyway, I’m sure this is mostly me being conceited, but you’ve been thinking about me a lot, haven’t you? Otherwise, you wouldn’t have made it this far.

I can’t believe this. Yeah, I can’t believe it. I can’t at all. I really, really can’t.

I can be honest about all this inside this closed Heavy Barrel.

Of course, all of these feelings are just on my part. It’s not like you’ve checked on them with a Point and it’s not like I’ve asked anyone.

And I’m not about to do that either.

<He is not moving. He is simply waiting.>

At the very least, I’m not doing it with words.

But I just can’t believe it. I feel like you’ve completely outdone me here.

Oh, no!! I’m getting pretty lax with my side there. This really isn’t like me at all. I’m not a cat-like girl that loves indulging in others and letting others indulge in her like Mallette. And I’m not as honest as Rosetta. What am I supposed to do at times like this? Really, what?

What do I do? Just what do I do?

How long has it been like this? How long have you been, um, well, above me?

This is bad. I’m Signing some pretty bad things.

<He is not moving. He is simply waiting.>

We’re glaring at each other in a standstill and my thoughts keep slipping further and further away from anything related to the battle.

But if I don’t think, I can’t brace myself. If I don’t find an answer, I’ll be overwhelmed by anxiety. If I don’t understand him, I just have to figure out why I don’t.

So why is it?

I’ve been thinking about you, but I guess you’ve been thinking about me even more and that’s come as a shock.

To be blunt, it probably makes me happy. I need to be aware of that.

<He is not moving. He is simply waiting.>

Silence, huh? Yes, that’s right. I was so reliant on your silence. I was always only Pointing you, so I never Signed anything behind that silence.

I’m so stupid.

But I kind of get it now. I liked your silence and I just left everything with that silence. That would be when we branched apart. …It’s been a while then.

I’m such a coward.

At my first lecture at the university, I was overwhelmed by the rapid-fire French, but it was your notes that saved me.

You probably have no idea how much of a relief that was, do you?

We were in different departments, but our classes were nearby and we ended up being together a lot. At the start of the new term, I Signed all through the classroom to see if you were in the class with me. And at last year’s year-end party…

You don’t know about any of that, do you?

I still have all the letters and notes you gave me. You can call me obstinate if you want. I don’t mind…

I can’t believe this.

I just can’t. I’m hopeless.

The more I think, the more I get stuck with these thoughts.

I sound casual enough, but there’s a heavy, heavy numbness deep in my mind.

I’m at such a disadvantage in this fight. But I understand three things now.

First, I’m going to rethink myself once this is over. I doubt I can become as honest as Rosetta, but I think I can do better.

Second, I’ve reassessed my opinion of you.

And third…yes, I think we would make a good pair.

Regardless of whether you’re going to die or not, I won’t forget that you changed history. You came here because you’re a Lourd de Écrivain and that’s also the reason why you’ll die, isn’t it?

I know I’m being one-sided on the matter, but there it is.

Yes, it really is one-sided. You’re right in front of me, but here I am simply speculating about this. Buuuut it’s not like I have a choice. Pointing you only shows me silence and you don’t let anything show on the surface, so I can only Sign. At the very least, the position you hold for me is made up of everything I’ve Signed before and everything I’ve thought based on that.

Laughable, isn’t it? But can I have another one of my cowardly thoughts?

What if you haven’t been thinking about me at all? What if you just think of me as an impertinent girl and you’re only here to teach me a lesson by hurting me?

I can’t deny that possibility. And look, I just Signed it.

That could be what this is about.

Even though I really don’t want that to be the case. But this could all be based on what I hope is true and it’ll end up being nothing more than my Signing. So that thought is insurance in case that happens. If it does happen, I don’t want to be some stupid girl that had too high an opinion of herself.

Ah ha ha.

But, still, I think I’ve found my answer. So let’s fight. We can’t just sit around.

<One minute has passed since the battle began. The referee is signaling for us to hurry up and fight.>

Only a minute? You really can get a lot of thinking done while Write Bringing. But that’s fine. It was a valuable minute. I’ll make sure I have a chance to type up the contents of the memory bank later.

Yes.

So let’s fight, Phillip.

It’s time to pay you back and we’ll find out if I have insufficient funds or if I’ll get some change in return. Once this battle is over, I’m sure I’ll give more thought to how I interact with Heavy Barrels.

I doubt I’ll ever again Write Bring in order to fight while in France.

What am I fighting for?

I don’t want to fight without a clear answer to that question. Because it scares me… So I’ll use the remaining three months to do what I wanted to do concerning my grandma and the Attesor Project. 
Then I’ll return to my own world.

Oh.

<The crowd is cheering. I look over and see the black Barrel slowly pointing its wooden sword toward me.>

What? Are you going to say something?

<“Uhh.”>

Uh? Really? What is that supposed to be?

<“Well, you see.”>

I see what?

<“Umm.”>

Um isn’t any better. Just say it already, please.

Don’t go silent! You can’t come this far and then stop talking!!”

“If you have something to say, just say it!!”

<“Okay. If you lose this battle, let’s start officially going out!!”>