Editing HEAVY OBJECT:Volume17 Chapter 1 (section)

===Part 4===

Even further north than the Northern Restricted Zone, the island of Spitsbergen jutted up from the thick ice covering the Arctic Ocean. After the many transport planes landed on the combat airfield there, they set up the necessary radars, hangars, etc. to use it as the 37th’s maintenance base zone.

However…

“Are you kidding me? Where’s the Baby Magnum? That thing can move 500km/h on the ocean, can’t it!? Then how come it can’t keep up!?”

“The Arctic isn’t a continent. She can’t move on top of the ice that could break in unpredictable ways, so it’s unclear if she should use her land or sea undercarriage. She can’t head this deep in right away.”

“What’s the point of the base if we don’t have an Object?”

But they were on a strict time schedule, so the potatoes in red would have to do this themselves. In fact, they got the feeling the cruel old folks of the military leadership had intentionally set it up this way to pay them back for the embarrassing failure.

A white wind blotted out the world.

The sky looked pure white, so looking up was not enough to tell if it was day or night.

It was an almost complete whiteout.

Their mobile devices displayed an error, but it was probably around -20 degrees.

“We can either take a helicopter or an armored vehicle to the battlefield. Which should we choose, Heivia?”

“As long as it keeps our red uniforms out of sight, any metal box is fine by me.”

Surprisingly, the armored vehicles proved more popular.

Driving on the ice sounded scary, but it must have seemed better than riding an unstable helicopter through the powerful crosswinds.

“Or is this a result of our Object worship? Anti-air lasers are admittedly scary.”

“But neither side has an Object this time, right?”

Quenser and Heivia were late to make their choice, so they ended up in a helicopter, although it was more of a big-bellied surface attack helicopter than a large transport one. It had a two-person cockpit and missiles and rocket launchers hung from the fixed wings that jutted out to either side, but it could also load soldiers into the rear cargo room. When Quenser slid open the door and peeked inside, he found a space larger than a van. It could probably fit around 10 people if they squeezed in tight.

“Damn. Setting records for long-term sales might sound reassuring, but that just means it’s an evolutionary dead end that can’t be upgraded, doesn’t it?”

“Would you prefer to ride one of those tiltrotors? They’re brand new.”

“No, thanks. All those complicated joints and moving parts scare the hell outta me!!”

“Whew,” said another voice from the side.

The two idiots must not have been the only ones too slow to get a spot on the armored vehicles because a Santa-colored woman climbed in after them.

That college-aged woman with fluffy blonde hair and glasses looked perfect with tears in her eyes.

It was Elise Montana.

“Fuck, it’s the walking disaster zone!! Why do we have to share a helicopter with you of all people!?”

“Wait, please don’t drag a woman as pretty and kind as me to a filthy public restroom and tie me up with duct tape! And definitely don’t write lewd things all over my body with permanent marker!!”

Elise curled up in a corner of the metal box and covered her face, but her fantasies were clearly overblown since they went beyond anything those two idiots would have ever thought up. Frolaytia’s threats must have affected her very badly indeed, but those potatoes were not about to take advice that came from a source like that.

Their future remained uncertain as the roar of the engine grew louder overhead. The rotor picked up speed and the metal box shook. The attack helicopter left the ground, but Quenser was too distracted to notice.

“Hyah!?”

“Gh, ghhh.”

When the helicopter first shook, the fluffy blonde lost her balance and fell toward him. And even if she was the walking disaster zone who had gotten them into this mess, boobs were boobs. When they fell toward the boy, his face was buried in them.

“N-no, you mustn’t! The world’s rules say this is supposed to wait until marriage!!”

Now was no time to be enjoying the unexpected gift.

A quiet metallic noise echoed through the cargo room. While Miss Elise flailed her arms around, her hand happened to catch the pin of a grenade directly attached to her red Santa outfit.

They had about 5 seconds until detonation.

“Watch out!!”

Heivia had to make a split-second decision: grab the grenade from her uniform and throw it out, or just chuck Elise out of the helicopter? He ultimately chose the former.

With a dry boom, the attack helicopter tilted from something other than a crosswind.

“Are you kidding me, you walking disaster zone!?” shouted the tearful delinquent noble. “That was well past anything we can laugh off as clumsiness!! If you had less than a D-cup, I would’ve kicked you right out that cargo door just now!!”

“Sob.”

“And how in the world do you trip so your ass ends up on Quenser’s face and your face is shoved between his legs!? It makes no sense for you to be this ridiculously clumsy without me benefiting in any way!!”

Things were this bad and they had not even run into the Information Alliance troops yet. The enemy did not even need to worry about working through their year-end inventory. If the 37th was given some time off with that deadly klutz around, they would probably wipe themselves out.

At any rate, the large attack helicopter finally managed to arrive in the battlefield sky.

Without sensor support, the view outside was colored almost entirely white by the blizzard and ice fog.

They had slowed down a lot to keep their balance, but they were still moving at more than 200km/h.

Some artillery fire erupted nearby.

It sounded too light for a giant ship’s gun.

Had the weather changed or had the blast changed the air pressure?

Whatever the case, the white curtain of small ice crystals briefly vanished.

“Wow, they’re really going at it.”

“Wait, wait, wait. They’re really close. Way too close! What’s going on!?”

A ship’s gun could accurately hit a target from 20-30km away and a missile from more than 100km away, yet the Legitimacy Kingdom and Information Alliance warships were enclosed in a thick layer of ice from so close no binoculars were needed to see each other.

“Are they pretending to be old-fashioned pirates?”

“The weather is bad and the aurora might be shining overhead. If there was a magnetic storm, their radio navigation and radar would be useless. Being this close to the pole has always caused issues with compasses. They probably didn’t notice they were so close due to the white curtain.”

Both fleets must have been hurrying to the north pole in order to secure that luxury cruise ship packed full of gold. They had both entered the Arctic from Scandinavia, so they had apparently been sealed in by the thick ice while unaware that their courses intercepted in a giant X-shape.

“A single blast from a ship’s gun would take them out at this range.”

“But that would detonate their fuel and ammo and both sides would be caught in the huge explosion similar to a fireworks show accident. Those things aren’t designed to fire on each other from that close.”

Using the ship’s guns even against the infantry on the ice could be mistaken for an attack on another ship, leading to a shootout between the fleets. That meant they had to fight using the people and weapons lowered to the thick ice instead of using the ships themselves. That had to be the source of the gunfire and artillery fire echoing into the air. The thought of joining that brass band parade was depressing indeed.

The attack helicopter could let the troops out anywhere, but the ice might break if it tried to land on it. Instead of attempting a dangerous descent on a wire in this blizzard, it would be safer to use the sturdy heliport on one of the ships.

After spotting a small Legitimacy Kingdom destroyer, they descended toward the observation craft heliport on the stern.

“Dammit, it’s finally starting. Maybe we should just stay on this helicopter the entire ti-…”

As soon as Heivia said that, another attack helicopter exploded in the white cloudy sky nearby.

“Myonriiiiiiiiiii!!!???” screamed Quenser.

“What the hell!? So their anti-air weaponry ''is'' working!?”

The potatoes inside the one helicopter frantically ducked down as the main rotor of the other one sliced through the air toward them.

They had no time to worry about anyone else now.

Something thick could be heard scraping at the exterior of the transport helicopter. 

“Myonri, you moron! This is what you get for not choosing to ride along with a big star like me. A jack of all trades like you should’ve known that.”

“Hey, watch out, something just stabbed into this thing!! Was that rotor Myonri’s way of telling you to shut up as she died!?”

Their helicopter suddenly tilted at an angle. Some kind of alarm went off and they heard angry shouting from the cockpit. It was obvious at a glance what was coming next.

“They’re making an emergency landing, so grab onto something!!”

“Then they can’t go for the ice! If we break through, we’ll just sink into the frigid ocean. Aim for the ship! Aim for the heliport!!”

They could not expect a clean landing on the belly. They hit the heliport while half rolled onto the side, the main rotor remained tilted like a fan, they cut across the flat plate like they were being tugged by an invisible rope, and the tools scattered around were launched like bullets.

“We’re so dead. We’re gonna fall. We’re just barely on here and tilting like a damn seesaw.”

“You’re supposed to use this as an excuse to kick Elise out, you idiot.”

“Where did this terrible opinion of me come from?” asked Elise. “There’s something wrong with how you measure people’s value!!”

The potatoes crawled out of the large helicopter that had a broken rotor and spewed black smoke. It had flipped onto its side, so they had to leave using the slide door that was now pointed up.

“Hmm. Oh, could you support me from below? Nhhh!”

“Heh heh heh. Struggle all you want climbing out, lady. Yes, more, more!”

Quenser was the capable kind of guy who could lift up someone’s butt with both hands while maintaining a gentlemanly expression. Heivia had wasted his chance by climbing out ahead of her.

“A girl who can’t do pull-ups on her own is a wonderful thing. Hah hah hah!”

“God, I hate working here. She’s already brainwashed him.”

They soon received an overview of the situation from the navy landing guidance officer and the others who had nearly been turned to mincemeat by that horizontal pitching machine.

“Th-the huge ship’s guns and missiles could sink their ships, but that would probably mean mutual destruction. Fortunately, we have no reason to hold back with anything else.”

“We are using the anti-air guns that fire a good distance off the ground and the side deck’s Gatling guns that don’t cause very large explosions, so be careful.”

“Not that any of that can sink a warship. Ha ha ha. But it is all powerful enough to make mincemeat out of those you who will be running around on the ice. Good luck.”

“Every last one of them is scum,” grumbled Heivia. “They’ve gotten so used to their comfortable warm-water bidet they’ve forgotten how to wipe their ass properly.”

“But based on those rules, they can’t receive supplies from anyone,” replied Quenser. “At least we’re not fighting a war against hunger. Try to stay positive.”

The group about to be thrown into the middle of the barrage and the group facing starvation inside the ship both failed to view the other group as fellow Legitimacy Kingdom soldiers. That was one failing of a vertical society.

“So where’s the ship’s armory?” Heivia scratched at his short brown hair. “And what kind of guns and cannons does the navy have on hand? Carbines? PDWs?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We have nothing to give to you.”

The landing guidance officer honestly seemed surprised they were asking, so the two idiots were caught off guard.

He lightly waved around the red baton-like lights also seen at construction sites.

“You’re the unit being punished for screwing up in a safe country, right? No one expects you to defeat the enemy and end this battle. Your role is to run out onto the ice in those bright red uniforms, raise a war cry, and draw the enemy fire. We’ll be safe as long they’re shooting at you.”

“…”

“And why would we waste expensive weapons on someone like that? These precious military supplies were bought with the people’s tax money, so if you want a better weapon that badly, why not kill an enemy and steal one?”

The potatoes responded by removing the safety on their gun and loading the first bullet.

The muzzle was of course aimed at the guidance officer.

“Hey!”

For some reason the shocked guidance officer crossed the red baton-like lights in front of him.

Perhaps he hoped a red beam would shoot out.

“Pardon us, mister, but we were ordered to kill an enemy to steal their weapons.”

“And the military is a vertical society, you see. Yeah, and this ugly guy here’s wearing the rank insignia of a lieutenant. None of us can hope to match that, so a lowly private like me has gotta obey that order.”

Some confusion followed, but in the end, Quenser blew open a thick steel door so they could borrow the ship’s plentiful equipment.

The world grew just a little bit kinder.

“Dammit!” swore Heivia. “All they’ve got are weapons. Now we can’t change out of these red uniforms!!”

“Would you rather steal the sweaty and lice-ridden ones they’ve been using while holed up in here?” asked Quenser. “And we’ve really cleaned the place out. The armory is completely empty. Won’t the people left on the ship be slaughtered by some Information Alliance commandos or something?”

“If you want to sound remotely convincing, you might want to stop stealing so much. You’re carrying more bombs than anyone.”

The bastards wearing Santa costumes (as a punishment the higher ups thought up mostly just for fun) climbed down the steep gangway on the side of the destroyer and found themselves on the deadly ice.

“Ugh, I hope the ice crystals and snow or whatever else cover up all the red on our uniforms.”

“Heivia, if our uniforms freeze solid, we’ll essentially be pillars of ice.”

The Arctic was covered in ice, but since it was also snowing, it did not function like a skating rink. It crunched below their feet.

Quenser’s group met up with the other potatoes who had arrived by armored vehicles. Then they equipped Nordic skis.

“Let’s try to reach the closest one: the Information Alliance cruiser Cruise Missile 050. It focuses on using its namesake while leaving all the anti-ship attacks to its escort ships and anti-air unit, but it can’t use those missiles right now, right? It’s a sitting duck.”

Sinking the ships was the easy part. They only had to approach the side, attach the necessary amount of explosives, move safely away, and detonate it. Even though they were trapped by thick ice on all sides, they were still floating in the ocean, so a hole below the waterline would let in the seawater needed to sink the ship.

This was different from a tanker abandoned in the desert.

There was only cold water below them, so they remained in a state where it was unnatural for so much weight to be floating.

“Those huge warships are like small fortresses. We can’t let our guard down just because they can’t move. But once we sink one, the Information Alliance will lose one shield to hide behind. That means less space for them to move around in, so let’s get in a preemptive strike and gain an early lead in this struggle over safe territory.”

“Hey, something’s approaching while you blather on. Is that a recon armored vehicle!?”

“Get down and scatter!! We don’t even get Christmas off from fighting!!”

The Legitimacy Kingdom and Information Alliance warships were trapped in the thick ice while within visible distance of each other. There was approximately 2km between those fortresses, so they were close enough for those neighbors to kill each other with a heavy machinegun at any time.

And since the ground was made from the frozen sea, there were no mountains or valleys.

The only prominent cover was the giant warships and the vehicles they had lowered down with cranes. Standing out on the white ice was like asking to be shot.

The armored vehicle was around 700m away. It was only a scout, but it still had a machinegun. And it was a heavy machinegun that required a team of four to operate.

“What do we do!?”

“Get down, get down!!”

“They’re not going to overlook us just because we’re lying down on this flat ice!!”

They heard the deep sound of propellers slicing through the air.

They looked up to see a large Legitimacy Kingdom transport craft soaring through the white sky. No, it was not just a transport craft. It had autocannons, rapid-fire guns, and other weapons aimed outwards from the sides of its thick fuselage.

It was customized for attacking the surface.

Quenser immediately grabbed his radio.

“Requesting air support! Blow away that armored vehicle up ahead!!”

“Hah hah hah. Why would a punished unit get that kind of service? I’m up here to shoot you in the ass. My commander ordered me to shoot you for disobeying orders if you ever come to a stop. And I get to decide what counts as ‘stopping’, so even if you survive the enemy attack, we’ll just find some excuse to kill you anyway. Have fun☆”

“Heivia, fire a missile straight up.”

With the fwoosh of a launching missile, a white trail of smoke stretched sharply up into the sky and a spectacular explosion erupted overhead. Armor panels, gun parts, and other wreckage rained down over a wide area.

Quenser tearfully grabbed the idiot’s collar and shook him back and forth.

“Why would you actually shoot, you dumbass!? I was so obviously joking!”

“Shut up. Accidents happen, all right? The military is made to sacrifice individuals for overall victory. And someone who isn’t even aiming their guns at the enemy sounds like the perfect candidate for that. Also, get out from behind there if you’re going to complain! I scattered those shields with my missile blast!!”

They were kissing morality goodbye, but this had given them some cover on the flat icy ground. Even the smaller pieces were the size of light vehicles, so they could at least avoid being helplessly turned to Swiss cheese by the armored vehicle’s machinegun.

“Hey, hacker! Erase those communication logs!!”

“I feel like we’ve finally crossed a line here.”

A series of explosive sounds followed, but it was not the fallen wreckage exploding.

The Information Alliance armored vehicle had belatedly started firing its machinegun at them. That might not seem like much compared to a tank’s gun, but each shot was still a giant anti-materiel bullet larger than their thumb. A direct hit to their Santa uniforms would tear them to pieces.

“We have a shield now, right!?” shouted Quenser from behind a propeller and a drum-shaped engine. “Hurry up and fire a missile to silence that can of corned beef!”

“Shut up! I just used that missile, remember!? It’s going to take a little longer to reload, so find some way to buy me some time!! 30 seconds will do!!”

“20 seconds!”

“It takes 30!!”

“Then get to work instead of arguing, dumbass!!”

“You need to buy me the time!!”

Elise Montana was curled up and acting like a victim despite being the entire reason they were here, so Quenser kicked her out from behind cover. Thanks to the snow and ice below her, her attractive butt slid more than expected, making it look like a bizarre game of curling.

“Ah, ahh, awahhhhhh!!!???”

While the armored vehicle’s crew stared at the busty glasses woman’s bust or glasses, they hesitated long enough for Heivia to lean out from the other side of a scorched piece of scrap metal and fire the missile resting on his shoulder.

Tearful Elise scrambled back behind cover with the deafening explosion slamming into her back. Her trembling hands grabbed at Quenser.

“How, but, h-h-how could you do that to m-me!?”

“Shut up and wipe the fog off your glasses. We need to get moving. That was just a scout, so there will be more coming!!”

They heard several sounds much like sparkling wine corks being removed.

“Those are mortars!!” shouted Heivia. “Heads up!!”

Heads up or no, they would be killed if those fell on them, so the rule-breaking potatoes moved fast. Before the explosives could fall in a large curve like a long throw in baseball, they dove behind their next cover – another piece of wreckage from the custom transport craft that had rained down around them.

Heivia looked back while hiding behind the rear of the cockpit that had nearly been sliced clean off.

“Dammit, those aren’t 80mm. They broke right through the thick ice trapping the ships here, so there’s nothing left where we just were. And they’ve climbed up on top of that can of corned beef.”

“Hey, can’t you take them all out with a missile!?”

“Again, I just fired one. So buy me time to reload!!”

The busy blonde who looked better in a Santa costume than anyone jumped when she heard that.

More than just tearful, she had a veritable waterfall of tears flowing down her cheeks as she clung to Quenser.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!! That will never work again, so use what little brains you have to think up a way for me and my unbelievable beauty to survive! As long as I make it, then feel free to get yourselves killed! Please muster every bit of stupid cleverness your stupid mind can manage!!”

Quenser did as he was told by stripping off a piece of her red uniform and kicking her out with her plump legs bared.

“Heivia used her giant curling butt to target the distant armored vehicle.

“Hey, can I do the stripping and you do the blowing up next time?”

“You’d take it way too far, so no.”

Elise Montana tugged down on the bottom of her coat with both hands (without noticing this only accentuated her large chest) and obediently returned to the same cover those two were using.

“Ah, ah ha ha. It’s cold. It’s so cold. Please give me back my pants. Hurry, hurry. Brr. Chatter, chatter, chatter!!”

“Huh? She isn’t acting all bashful and stuff.”

“It’s 15 below, remember? In extreme situations, people tend to be more worried about survival than sexiness.”

There were no advantageous positions on the open terrain. The trucks and snowmobiles could be seen as nothing more than larger targets, so they actually increased the risk. More and more infantry moved out into the open. They apparently planned to use machinegun fire to hold Quenser’s group in place while the infantry circled around behind them to the right.

“What do we do?”

“Memorize where the shields are.”

The two idiots threw a long, skinny smoke grenade in a large arc over the wreckage they were hiding behind. When the metal can fell on the ice, it scattered colorful smoke with a loud bwoosh sound. That obscured the enemy’s view. The heavy machinegun was certainly a fearsome threat, but it was meaningless if those thumb-thick bullets could not hit.

“The next shield is 50m away at 10 o’clock!”

“Eh? Eh? You want us to run out into that horizontal storm? The bullets are still flying even if they can’t see us!!”

“Then you can stay here on your own. C’mon, we’re going!!”

They wanted to crouch as low as possible, but the Nordic skis made that difficult, so they pushed their bodies forward with their legs and the ski poles to reach the next shield. It was like jumping from stone to stone in a pond. If they slowed down along the way, they would be hit by the bullets and reduced to a pond of blood. The snowy ice was a lot rougher than a skating rink.

“Eek, eek, eeeeek!”

“Your opinion of people sure is a relative thing, isn’t it? After hearing hopelessly incompetent Elise sob like this, this scrawny boy over here starts looking like some kind of veteran hero.”

As soon as they made it behind the torn-off tail wing, the glasses woman tore off her skis and curled up on the ground. She may have been trying to cut herself off from the reality around her, but it looked a lot like an Island Nation prostration.

Quenser slapped at the round butt sticking out his way.

“Elise, Elise.”

“P-please just leave me alone.”

“If you insist. The Information Alliance soldiers will circle around here soon enough, but we’ll respect your wishes and not help you while you just lie there. Although the enemy will probably think you’re seducing them.”

Elise Montana immediately got back up.

At the same time, Heivia tossed Quenser the missile launcher tube, switched to his assault rifle, leaned out from behind the wreckage, and fired a quick burst. However, his only allies here were an explosion addict who could not even use a gun and that blonde walking disaster zone who had no apparent skills. If he kept firing from the same spot for too long, the counterattack would focus there, so he was constantly on the move either circling to the opposite side of the wreckage or climbing up on top of it to aim down like it was a fence.

The two with nothing to do did their best to cheer him on.

“Wow, glad I’m not Heivia right now.”

“Kyah! Work yourself to the bone for me!”

The loss of Myonri was proving painful already.

Heivia was forced to take her position as the jack of all trades.

“You two!! Can’t you at least try to help by pretending to hold out guns to distract them or something!? Y’know, like a game of whack-a-mole!!”

“No, thanks. I don’t want to get hit by a stray bullet when I don’t even have a weapon.”

“How about you take a look at the situation here? We’re being pushed back, so I can’t stop the Information Alliance infantry from gradually getting closer.”

“And?”

“Once they get here, they’ll circle behind us!!”

Quenser undid the clasps and removed the Nordic skis that were only getting in the way.

As soon as someone circled around the wreckage and peeked out at them, tearful Elise grabbed one of her skis in both hands and swung it around while Quenser jabbed out with his ski pole. He managed to stab the enemy right in the throat – in the gap between the helmet and the bulletproof jacket.

He heard a gurgling scream.

Except the Information Alliance soldier had managed to pull the pin from a grenade on his chest during the confusion. Once he knew he was done for, he must have decided to take out as many enemies as he could for his allies’ sake.

His heart was as good as his looks.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!?”

Quenser kicked the dying soldier out of the way and frantically tried to get down on the ground, but he ran straight into useless Elise instead. They ended up in a tangled heap on the ice.

A muffled explosion rang out.

“Hwuh?”

Elise made a silly noise while lying on her back and holding Quenser’s head into her big boobs.

That good-looking guy had guts, but detonating the grenade without giving a warning first had been a mistake. He ended up taking out several of his fellow Information Alliance soldiers instead of Quenser or Heivia.

[[Image:HO_v17_BW2.png|thumb]]

“You can get away with anything if you’re good-looking, can’t you?” said Elise.

“Mgh, gh. Speak those cursed words one more time and you’ll regret it,” complained Quenser.

“Pfh. If it makes you mad, it means you know it doesn’t apply to you. Peh heh heh.”

Quenser attached a stun grenade to that busty blonde and kicked her out from behind cover.

Just as everyone’s eyes were drawn to the cylindrical rod stuffed into her cleavage, a nonlethal flash and bang ruled the battlefield.

“Awaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!???”

“Heivia, fire!!”

Quenser’s desperate cry proved meaningless because his awful friend was holding his eyes and writhing in pain. That busty glasses woman was just about the worst combat partner there was, but she undoubtedly had a devilish charm. Quenser had no choice but to grab his bloody ski pole and attack the collapsed enemy soldiers.

No matter how much their athleticism had been optimized with the sports engineering of a digital society and no matter how much their bodies had been built up with the perfect diet, they were as helpless as babies while collapsed on the ground.

“What the hell? My head hurts so bad,” said Heivia. “Urp, did you really have to kill them all while they were down? What’s the point of the nonlethal weapon then?”

“They would’ve woken up as quick as you did. Did you want them to grab their guns again?”

Once the enemy’s stock of infantry was used up, they only had their trucks and snowmobiles that were loaded with high-power machineguns and mortars but were fairly limited in use. The Information Alliance’s boxy canned goods (designed for cold climates) tried to pull back toward their warship, but Heivia’s missile stabbed through the air and blew them away before they could.

“Did you just use me as a jack-in-the-box!?” complained tearful Elise.

“Don’t worry. It was a nonlethal stun grenade.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I still have a throbbing pain there. Look how red it is!!”

“Eh heh heh. Elisey, you’re gonna need to give me a better look than that.”

While staring at the busty part of the busty blonde since she was so generously opening her collar and showing off the pink mark left by the stun grenade, Quenser put on a kinder expression.

“Seriously though, I think that had about a 20% chance of killing you.”

“That’s even worse than I thought. Um, isn’t that riskier than a round of Russian roulette?”

At any rate, this was their chance.

Before enemy reinforcements could arrive, they moved from wreckage to wreckage and arrived at the warship they had set as their goal. Cruise Missile 050 was one of the Information Alliance ships acting as a stationary base while trapped in the ice.

Quenser’s job was simple now that he was right up next to it.

After measuring the thickness of the wall with an ultrasound echo, he cut off the right size of Hand Axe plastic explosive and attached it to the wall. The explosive alone would have been too unstable, so he included something like a metal bowl. The trick was to thinly spread the clay-like explosive along the interior of the bowl like it was margarine.

“What difference does that make?”

“It’s called the Munroe effect, Heivia. The wall is only in one direction, so letting the blast spread in all 360 degrees would be a waste of energy. The blast is a lot more powerful if you focus it on a single point like a spear.”

Heivia decided only a freak could understand what a freak was talking about, so he tuned it out.

Once the fireworks were set up, they only had to move far enough away.

“Elise, move 20m back.”

“Sure, sure.”

“Everyone else, move 100m back.”

“Wait, what?”

Before she could question it, Quenser hit his radio’s switch and triggered a fairly large explosion to ring in the new year a week early.

Even if it was 200m long, a ship was still a ship. Once the cruiser had a hole in the side large enough for someone to crawl through, the seawater poured in and it began to tilt.

After getting up from a sexy pose with her legs collapsed beneath her, Elise shouted a complaint while red in the face.

“You son of a bitch! What did I ever do to deserve this!?”

“Elise, if you stay there, you’ll be dragged into the ocean by the broken ice. And what did you do to deserve this? Have you already forgotten the entire reason we were sent here, you needlessly sexy glasses woman!?”