Editing Phenomeno:Case 02 (section)

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====3====

When I went back to my apartment, Yoishi was no longer there.

She'd noticed the key I'd placed on the desk, as she'd locked it and placed the key in the post.

When I entered the foyer, I heaped the coarse salt I'd received from Krishna-san at the edge of the door, and finally took a deep breath. I told myself that I would go see Krishna-san again tomorrow and talk to her about having taken the notebook.

When I went to the living room, I found that my futon had been properly folded. She may be well-raised after all, I thought, and at the same time, I was worried if she would be alright after having stayed out all night.

Where did she live, anyways? What high school year was she? Was she a part of any clubs? What subjects was she good at? What were her hobbies? Did she have any pets? What were her favorite books?

I knew nothing about Yoishi.

I didn't know where she lived, her phone number, or her email address.

If I wanted to contact her from here, the only way to do that would be to make a post on the "Ikaigabuchi" forum. For such a tenuous relationship, the only thing that lay between us was the great question of life and death, between the world on this side, and the world beyond. It was like suddenly dating in a castle keep without even filling the outer moat.

"Well, I'm probably thinking of dumb examples because I'm tired..."

I’m just gonna sleep.

At any rate, my body felt as heavy as lead.

It was still just a bit past seven, but I changed out of the clothes I had been wearing since yesterday, and washed my face. After brushing my teeth and feeling refreshed, I laid out the futon and laid down, but immediately jumped back up. No, it wasn't that I'd been mesmerized by the lingering flowery scent of a high school girl or anything.

—— The pillow reeked.

An extremely sour scent was soaked into the pillow. That was terrible considering I was tired and just wanted to sleep. That bastard, next time I see her, I'm going to force her to take a bath. I had no choice but to roll up the cushion and use it as a pillow, and I lay back down again. But the strong odor was again driving my sleepiness far away.

Since sleep was out of the question, I remained lying down and looked up the Hachiouji abandoned hospital on my mobile phone. I had looked it up on my computer before, but hadn't checked using my phone. But when I saw the search results, I was astonished. Even on a cell-phone-specific search site, or perhaps because it was a cell-phone-specific site, I got an absurd number of hits.

"That place is actually pretty famous."

I began opening the pages on the search result from the top.

For the most part, they were community forums, or some occult sites specializing in the local area. But I found a single keyword common in them all.

The phrase that it was "a hospital that grants wishes."

I'd heard that phrase somewhere, I thought, and realized it was something I’d been brandishing myself up until a while ago. Fool, there are no shortcuts for granting wishes. I mumbled the exact same words Krishna-san had told me, and I looked at the posts on the site with a smirk in my face. I jokingly felt like I was looking at a group of cute juniors—

"My height grew!" "I got a girlfriend!" "My hernia got better" "I got a job" "I won a lottery!"

Every forum was full of those types of posts.

"Hey, hey, are you serious?"

I suddenly got up and kept reading.

It seemed those words written on the notebook and the wall — "Please fix my sickness" "I'll do whatever you ask if you fix me" had caused such rumors to spread. There was even a wiki with information, so I took a look.

 * There's a resources room in the basement of the abandoned hospital.
 * There's writing on the wall saying "I'll do whatever you ask if you fix me".
 * Say "〇〇〇〇 will fix you" three times at the wall, using your real name.
 * Say your wish, "In return, give me △△".
 * Afterwards, return something in the hospital back to its original position.
 * Say to the wall again, "〇〇〇〇 fixed it".
 * Your wish gets granted.
…Was apparently how it was summarized.

"How absurd." I groaned.

And as I read other related sites, I slowly became depressed.

I found a picture of someone screwing around inside that hospital. Someone who burned medical records and had bonfires. Someone peeing next to that, and another making a peace sign with a beer can.

"I see. No wonder Krishna-san was enraged."

She always said:

— The moral deterioration of the Japanese people has been severe in recent years.

Since ancient times, the Japanese have been a noteworthy people in their reverence for invisible beings. This may be tied to the belief in eight million gods, and there are indeed many gods in Japan. As the saying goes, "When you die, you become a Buddha", no matter how much conflict you may have had during your life, you must be revered no differently than a god after death. From the point of view of a contemporary mind, it may seem that we just can't decide who to worship, hence we erratically believe in just about anything, but I still think that the Japanese disposition to fear and revere the invisible is not a bad thing. Well, Maybe it's because we still believe in a vague mountain god in my hometown, and so respecting other such entities is something I take for granted.

My gaze fell on the bag I had left next to the living room door. 

I crawled closer and took out the notebook. It was the journal filled to the brim with the clean writing of the eight-year-old who had departed from this world. I opened the yellowed, worn pages, and read through it from the beginning.

The boy was apparently admitted to the hospital initially for a check-up. He was looking forward to going back home as soon as possible. However, as the hospital stay dragged on and the number of tests increased, the boy's letters seemed to have become smaller and less cheerful. After that, he began writing mostly about what he'd do if he could leave hospital. He wanted to ride a bike. Play soccer with friends. Go out with his family. Go fishing for crayfish. Play video games. Run as hard as he could. He wanted to be able to do things that children normally do. Mid-way through the middle of the notebook, he began just wanting to go home. He wrote that the examinations were painful. He wrote often about suffering from seizures. My breath caught in my throat at reading the heavy sentiments that could only be expressed by one who had suffered.

And that’s when it finally dawned on me.

Why I'd clutched at the notebook in the darkness.

And why I brought the notebook out and never let it leave my side.

I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand the thought of this boy, who died so young, to be left alone in that dark room.

He was —— me.

I had infantile asthma when I was child.

It went away as I grew up, but at the time, the mere hint of an attack was enough to send me into a panic. It felt like air was being sucked away from my surroundings, that I'd been plunged into a bottomless, deep ocean alone, as I was beset by a severe inability to breathe. That sense of blinding despair — it still remained there, soaked into my body. When I was sleeping and felt the signs of an attack, I'd run crying to my parents. And at that time, I found one thing more comforting than any doctor or medicine — the palm of my mother's hand. As she stroked my back with her warm palms, a strange feeling of security spread through my chest and before I knew it, the attacks had stopped.

I looked down at the last page of the notebook.

"Please fix my sickness."

I had a mother, but did this child have anyone to act as a bulwark against his suffering?

Did he have a safe place to run to?

That was probably the reason why I brought this notebook with me.

Suffering until death and continuing to become a plaything in a haunted spot after death, I couldn't forgive that.

However, I let out one long breath.

Nevertheless, I still didn't know what to do with this notebook. If I were to take care of it to the end, it would probably be best to wipe away the writing om that wall, but I didn't have the courage to go back there again.

"Sheesh... I'm such a worthless wuss."

I scratched my head, when--

Suddenly, my cell phone vibrated.

I jumped a bit and answered without checking who the caller was.

《Yo! Little Nagi!"》

I stiffened at the bright, carefree voice echoing from the receiver.

《It's me, it's me. How ya doin'?》

"H... Hi, sis."

—— Yes.

It was Akira Yamada, genetically my bigger sister.

《Whaddaya mean, 'hi, sis'? I toldja to lemme know when you're coming home for summer vacation.》

Incidentally, my big sis was a bit of a gangster back in the day, so she still talked like that.

"Ahh, sorry, um, about going home. Umm, Obon is the best time, right? Around the end of July, then.”

《Hey!》

I shuddered as a low, cool air drifted in from the other end of the phone.

《Tell me an exact date. Unlike you, I work, I need ta ask for paid leave. Ya hear?》

Akira, four years older than me, graduated with a two-year degree at a junior college near our home in Shizuoka, and worked at a company in our hometown. I'd never won against her in a verbal spat, and I don't think I could win against her in a physical brawl either. On top of that, I'd also become indebted to her because of the of the incident the other day. Basically, my current position was the worst and weakest in my eighteen years of life.

《Mum and dad are waiting for their useless son, and you're all grown up now. It’s time you started payin’ your elders some respect.》

"... I know."

《Hmm? What's with that crappy answer?》

"I'm sorry. I understand."

《So, when? Around the end of July?》

"Umm. They should post the mid-year exam dates next week, so I'll call you immediately after that."

《Mm. Next week it is. If y'don't call me by next weekend I'ma beat you.》

"Yes."

《Ahh, one more thing.》

"Yes?"

《The bonfire this year, we're takin' care'a it. Get home before Bon festival. 》

With a clang, she hung up. I stared at the call time displayed on the cell phone LCD reading 1 minute 37 seconds, and breathed a deep sigh.

My sister Akira, who changed the atmosphere of the room in a mere 1 minute 37 seconds — terrifying.

After that, I looked up at the ceiling once more.

—— I had my hands full. I was carelessly sticking my hands into lots of things and then leaving them be once I'd gotten in over my head. I tried living at a cheap place and ran away, becoming indebted to my sister in the process, and it wasn't even like I was paying much attention in school, nor was I intending to spend my life studying the occult like Krishna-san. On top of all that, I didn't even know what to do with a notebook I'd taken from a haunted place.

Suddenly, I thought of Yoishi's gloomy, white face.

She was incredibly beautiful, but her emotionless, inorganic face was like that of a doll.

There was no way I could handle her.

I rolled over and fell asleep at some point.



   ◯



I was in a white, foggy world.

There, Yoishi was smiling radiantly, an expression I'd never seen before.

— Hey, so you can smile, after all.

I called out to her, but she didn't seem to hear. Not noticing me, she happily frolicked about. She was playing about with something that was slithering below her. I thought it might have been a dog or something, but when I looked toward her feet, I was aghast. There was a snake.

No — it wasn’t a snake; It was a creature I had never seen before with an unusually long torso. At the end of the torso was a face. And, it too, was Yoishi. A face even gloomier than Yoishi's usual gloomy, darkened face was stuck there. And the human Yoishi kept kicking it incessantly, laughing to her heart's content. ‘Hey. stop it’, I called out, and human Yoishi turned towards me, then the snake Yoishi also looked at me. And both of them asked at once: Why? Why, you ask? — It shouldn't feel good kicking a person. I said, but the human Yoishi just laughed. The snake Yoishi went silent, as if to say, ‘Pathetic’. It's alright, this child is a bad child. So said human Yoishi as she resumed kicking. It's alright, I'm bad. The snake Yoishi said and continued to suffer while being kicked. I kept shouting at them to stop, stop. But the more I shouted, the more the two of them got lost in kicking and being kicked.

Eventually, snake Yoishi's stomach was kicked open, and reddish-black blood began seeping out into the area—

I opened my eyes.

...What sort of dream was I having?

The room's light remained on. I absentmindedly checked the time on my mobile phone and found that it was past one 1 AM. I'd been sleeping for just about six hours. My throat felt thirsty, so I stood up and was about to get some water from the kitchen.

I heard a bizarre sound from the apartment hall. It sounded like something being dragged along. Was it my neighbor? I thought of leaving it be, but eventually that something went thud and bumped into something. And then silence.

"...Now what?"

I fearfully crept to the door, looked through the peeping hole, and was shocked.

There was a revenant there.

No——

Yoishi Mitsurugi, who could only be described as a revenant, stood stock still in her school uniform.

"H... hey, what're you doing?"

I asked through the door, but she didn't respond.

I had no choice but to unlock the door, and open the door, and there was Yoishi wobbling in place.

"I'm asking what you're doing there."

When I said that again, Yoishi seemed to have finally recognized me. Her glass bead-like eyes turned to me, and she mumbled, "Oh, you."

"W-what do you mean 'oh, you.' Don't act like you've coincidentally met me when you're standing in front of my house. How long have you been th-"

-ere, I was about to finish, and then I realized.

Yoishi was drenched from head to toe. I was a little shocked to see that her drenched blouse had become transparent and I could see her undergarments, but I could see brown water dripping from her skirt.

And moreover— it was putrid. It was the most putrid she'd ever been.

"Were you cleaning the gutter or something?"

I asked, pinching my nose.

"I've never had a part-time job like that."

She answered with a serious look. Good god, it was impossible to have a conversation with her. In any case, making a racket in the hallway this late at night would bother my neighbors, so I let her in. And when I closed the door, her odor was even more painful. I immediately decided what I was going to do right then. I could do nothing about the contamination of the hallway. But beyond that, I decided to stop it at all costs. I decided to eliminate the rotting odor before it reached the living room.

‘Come on’, I grabbed Yoishi by the collar, and dragged her into the unit bath. On the way, I was disgusted to see some brown droplets spilling in the corridor from her hair and the edges of her clothes.

"I'll find a jersey or something, but for now you need to take a bath."

I then shoved her in and shut the door.

I heard "I hate baths" from inside, but:

"I don't care, get in. Wash your body at least three times."

I yelled back angrily, and then I started going through the cardboard boxes I'd left unopened since moving in.

Even if it was the cusp of summer, she'd still catch a cold like that. And the biggest problem was this sewer stench. I'd just moved into an apartment with new wallpaper that smelled nice, so this was too much. From the bottom of a cardboard box, I found a pair of jersey clothes that had been sent from home, and went back to the bathroom. But I knew the moment I went closer. The sharp odor wafted in the air, and the bath door was open.

"I said wash—"

"I found out what that abandoned hospital is."

Said Yoishi, whose tired eyes twinkling slightly.


   ◯


— Ah, why?

I'd forced Yoishi to sit in front of the unit bathroom sink, and was washing her hair with a shower. I'd been spraying her with hot water for some time, but the brown water kept leaking out like a sewage drain.

It seemed Yoishi had gone back to that hospital alone. She went there just after waking up around noon, but it was six o’ clock by the time she’d left the hospital after investigating various things, and everything was pitch black by then. Her penlight battery had died, and after wandering the mountain at night, she fell into the river.

"Use a taxi or something."

I said, and she fell silent.

"... Don't tell me, they turned you down?"

"......"

... Well, it's no surprise given how drenched she was.

In all likelihood, she walked all the way to the train station like this, and ignored all the shocked looks as she came here. I sighed, imagining Yoishi sitting alone on the train, soaking wet, with her immediate vicinity vacated.

"Listen, Yoishi."

I ran hot water through her hair and gave her advice as someone older than her.

"Appearances are important in this world. People say that looks don't matter, but making a good first impression is quite important. That's how you get off to a good start. That's why you should at least take a bath every day. And if you're going to someone's house, go at a normal hour. You probably don't care what time it is, so I'll tell you, it's half past one. That's when most people are asleep."

But it was as if Yoishi wasn't listening to a word I’d said.

She'd shut her long eyelashes together and looked like she was comfortable staring somewhere else.

This was starting to become silly, but the brown water had finally returned to being clear, so I put shampoo all over her head and forcefully rubbed. It lathered up beautifully and the unit bath was immediately filled with the scent of shampoo.

"So what'd you find out about that hospital?"

When I asked that, Yoishi answered, eyes still shut.

"I have nothing to do with the incident that happened there."

"You mean — about Zippo-san's friend?"

Yoishi nodded slightly.

"Then, what about you disappearing?"

"I don't want to talk about that."

... Don't want to talk about that?

Then why'd you come here?

I thought, as I kept washing her hair.

"There's a ghost online."

She said, words that made no sense.

"Have you read self-responsibility horror stories?"

"You mean the ones that say 'It's your own responsibility if you read past this'?"

Those were famous online, horror stories that were said to curse you just by reading them. There were several patterns, like becoming possessed by knowing the story, or being possessed if you understood the meaning, those types. But to be honest I didn't really believe in them.

"Those are make-believe, right?"

I said, but she began explaining, "Not all of them."

"Ghosts are very sensitive to things that notice them."

The way she said it gave me goosebumps.

"If you talk about ghosts, ghosts gather. If they know you can see them, they come closer. All of those stories conform to this nature of ghosts. I told you before that the really interesting stories always have some sense of discomfort in them — but that's why. If you describe the facts about the ghost accurately, it becomes a strange sentence. Because there is a truth about the other side that is difficult for humans to comprehend. That's why when a story has some incompleteness, it's, in a way, actually complete."

As ever, she was terribly verbose when it came to talking about ghosts.

"I don't get it, but —"

I asked anyways.

"What do self-responsibility type ghost stories have to do with that abandoned hospital?"

“They’re identical in that you become possessed once you know the truth.”

At those words, my goosebumps crept down my neck to the bottom of my feet.

In other words, she wanted to say that I shouldn't ask anymore. Krishna-san always said, if you peer into the other side, they would also see you. They were essentially saying the same thing, but it is still differently more intimidating when she says it.

“Anyways…"Yoishi added. "The person who became hospitalized had nothing to do with me. I'm fine with just figuring that out."

She closed her eyes again and went silent.

After that, she wouldn't answer me anymore.

... So to summarize.

Apparently, she, in her own way, felt responsible for last year's incident. That fact that someone who she'd gone with to a haunted place ended up hospitalized. And that she knew the place was dangerous. Even though she couldn't stop it, she wanted to know the answer, and had visited the hospital three times and learned enough to be convinced in her own way.

I still had no idea what that hospital was, but, for better or for worse, I was busy. I was enjoying washing Yoishi's hair as the shampoo bubbled like a summer cumulonimbus cloud.

No shame in admitting it, I enjoyed cleaning. I get an irresistible pleasure out of making dirty things clean. People around me said I was weird, but I even loved cleaning ventilation fans, which are considered tough to clean. When I scrubbed that stuck-on grease with an unwanted toothbrush or something and the original metal became visible, I was filled with an irrepressible excitement. Look, this thing is actually this pretty, that sort of feeling. I don't know if it's because of this, but I liked the last scene of the ugly duckling: when the duckling is actually a swan, I like that sort of thing. European folktales, about bear hide, and such. In that sense, Yoishi's dirty, dirty head was a fun challenge to me.

In the end, I ended up shampooing her hair three times. Afterwards, I rinsed it too, and almost felt regretful that my house had no treatment, because Yoishi's hair had become so polished and smooth. I placed a tower on her head and wiped.

"Look at that. If you clean it properly, it becomes this pretty."

I wiped the fogged mirror in front of us with the towel to show Yoishi her face.

As our eyes met in the mirror, my heart skipped a beat.

Yoishi, with her clean, wet hair, was incredibly beautiful. Her glossy skin and dark, thin, straight eyebrows were exquisite, and the large dark eyes beneath them were as beautiful as the clear night sky. She was probably just dazed, but her half-opened lips had a seductive curve.

She was just like that — a waste of treasure.

However, instead of saying "thank you," Yoishi said in a tone devoid of emotion.

"You're useful."

I was about to say "Are you serious?"

Suddenly, something strange assailed my nostrils. Ahh, I looked at her uniform. Come to think of it, she was still wearing her muddy uniform. I wanted to take it off and clean her all over, but that was way beyond what I could do.

"You do the rest. You can use the soap there."

I stood, but the strange odor grew stronger. It was like the smell of rotting fish I used to smell from the factory near the river when I was a child. Odd. The ventilation fan is on in the unit bathroom, and the smell of shampoo should have been lingering in the air until now, at least after washing her hair ——

And then Yoishi suddenly said.

"Did you, by any chance, take something from the hospital?"

"... Huh?"

At the same time, she stood up, and tried to go somewhere —

Before she vomited.

She vomited again.

The toilet bowl was right next to her, but she vomited the sparkling intestinal liquid right onto the floor.

"Hey, you, Yoishi!"

I was about to shout at her, when I got a jolt.

I saw the reflection in the mirror, which almost fogged up again with steam, on the other side of the unit bath—

In the hallway, was a blue-laced sneaker.

The legs were pale and discolored, worn and battered like a drowned body.

Unlike me, frozen in place, Yoishi suddenly shouted.

"Get out!"

Or rather than a shout, it was like a threatening howl, and I jumped up.

Still dripping saliva from her mouth, Yoishi had turned around to the other side of the mirror — to the hallway.

"H-hey, Yoishi."

I fearfully looked in the direction Yoishi looked, but there was no one there anymore.

Only the droplets from Yoishi remained in the hallway.

"Ah, hey, wait."

But before I could stop her, Yoishi crawled out into the hallway.

Drops of hair and river water dripped from her clothes. She slithered into the living room on her own, scattering them everywhere. She splendidly barged onto my new carpet and continued. And without any hesitation, she went to the bag I'd tossed aside, and started rummaging through it.

"This."

She took that notebook out of the bag and looked at me.

"So you had it then."

I didn't know how to explain it, so I just kept quiet. and Yoishi said at me:

"This is how I got here."

====4====

"Hey, where do I go from here?"

I was frantically pedaling the bicycle, and yelled out the question.

"Somewhere no one goes to."

Yoishi replied as she sat on the rear seat of the mama-cycle.

She held the notebook in her hand, which was wrapped in newspaper.

"So, about why you came straight to my house from the hospital,"

"Yes — I was following this."

Soon afterwards, Yoishi quickly ran down the hall to the kitchen, and rubbed the coarse shrine salt that had been left on the coffee table over her hands. She sprinkled it on her freshly washed head and on her still-wet clothes. And then, with astonishing speed, she said, "I'm borrowing this," and covered the notebook with the newspaper that had been left there. However, she had a look of ecstasy. She was sealing something terrible, yet her joyous look made me realize how dangerous things had become.

"So that notebook is really dangerous?"

"This is the cause of everything."

"Cause? But it’s just a journal."

"Yes — but, everyone put a meaning to it."

"Put a meaning—?"

And then, I remembered Krishna-san had said something similar.

"Hey, shouldn't we contact Krishna-san?"

But Yoishi flatly rejected that.

"This notebook shouldn't be seen by any more people."

Those words gave me goosebumps, and Yoishi suddenly pointed ahead.

"Turn that corner."

"What?"

"There's a place I want to stop by."

I followed her order and turned into a narrow path off the main road.

There was a small shopping street. They were all closed, of course, since it was nighttime, but it was so quiet that I wondered if it was even open during the day. The streetlights were sparse and their light was unreliable. I'd been trying to stick to roads with lots of people, but why were we going here?

"Hey, where are we headed?"

"There should be a shrine up ahead."

"You want to seal it there?"

"No."

She said naturally.

"I want to get a shimenawa<ref>A rope used for ritual purification in the Shinto religion. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shimenawa</ref> there."

—Shimenawa? Get one?

But just as Yoishi said, a torii gate came soon came into view at the bottom of the shopping street.

The lights of the main shrine are lit at the end of a narrow approach between dimly lit trees.

I slid the bicycle into the narrow parking area, and Yoishi jumped off. She ran under the arch to a big gingko<ref>Ginkgo biloba, commonly known as ginkgo or gingko (/ˈɡɪŋkoʊ, ˈɡɪŋkɡoʊ/ GINK-oh, -⁠goh) also known as the maidenhair tree, is a species of tree native to China. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginkgo_biloba</ref> tree beside the main building. I parked the bicycle, ran to her, and looked around, flustered.

"Are you sure you should do that?"

"Do you want to be cursed or anger a god? Choose."

... I didn't want either.

However, Yoishi must have realized that pulling on the shimenawa would yield no results, as she ran off again. She went into a shack next to the shrine office, and came out with a sickle in her hand. And before I could stop her, she had cut through the thick old shimenawa with great skill. During all this, I prayed toward the main building. Sorry, sorry, she's a denpa. She's probably not a bad person, but she's a denpa.

"There's no such thing as a god, so don't worry."

She said, holding the newspaper wrapped around the notebook in her left hand, and the shimenawa in her right.

"Then why do you need shimenawa?"

"Things that people have prayed to for a long time contain an equal amount of power."

It wasn't the first time I didn't understand what she was talking about.

In any case, I frantically followed Yoishi, who ran back to the bicycle.

When we were both seated, I took off, as if escaping.

I sped up, pointing the bicycle back down the old shopping street towards the main road, and planned to return back the road I came in at full speed.

However—

I had a strange feeling. There was something subtly different from the shopping street earlier — right, as if the number of shops had increased. The shops all still had their shutters closed, but I felt that the shop signs, which used to be one in every few houses, seemed to be attached to almost every house. No, that wasn't all. The rooms behind the windows were faintly bright. There were signs that people were awake. There was a buzz of activity, as if the shops were about to open at any moment.

"Quickly."

Yoishi whispered in my ear.

I didn't need her to tell me: I was pedaling at full force.

Something was wrong. Strange things were happening around me — no, were about to happen.

I could sense people in the narrow alleys between houses.

I could sense them looking at me, but I could no longer look back. I could feel the shutters of the stores beginning to open as I was passing by. I felt like the area behind me suddenly brightened, but I did my best to ignore it. I just kept pedaling and pedaling.

— Give it back.

Suddenly, I felt like I heard that voice. I could feel countless hands closing in behind us. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I repeated in my heart as I endured. My whole body was already covered in sweat. I sped the bicycle toward the end of the seemingly endless shopping street, and dashed out onto the main street.

That moment.

Blinding light filled my retinas. I could hear a blaring horn sound. It was a truck. It was coming at us from the side, about to crash into us head on.

"U... wawawah."

I desperately turned. But it wasn't enough. I couldn't get out of the way.

We were going to be run over — right as I thought that, my cheap mama-cycle performed a feat of mobility I never thought possible. It felt as if time stopped, and when I looked back Yoishi was hanging on for dear life. Her long hair flowed, and her center of gravity had gone so low that her face almost scraped against the ground.

"Pedal!"

That word snapped me back to reality, and I pedaled with all my might.

The tyres, which had been slipping all over the road on both wheels, gripped the road at that moment. The balance of the vehicle was suddenly restored.

"NUOOOOOOOH!"

It was just by a hair.

The truck honked again and grazed us as it passed by.

The air pressure of the truck passing by struck us, but we kept our balance. For a while, I couldn't think about anything, and Yoishi was silent.

From ancestors to whatever—

I gave my thanks to every god I could think of.

　◯

When we entered through the torn wire fence, we found ourselves on a wetland overgrown with weeds.

The surrounding area was completely dark. Whenever the moon hid behind a cloud, we couldn't even see each other’s faces anymore.

The ground was soft, and the area was filled with the displeasing odor of sludge. Only the sound of insects could be heard from there.

We were north of Musashino, at a disused reservoir.

I looked around, speechless, to see Yoishi had a penlight between her lips and was diligently tying random stones around the notebook with the shimenawa she'd just pilfered.

"What're you doing?"

"Sinking it."

She muttered, as if it were something obvious.

I looked at the darkest part of the darkness in front of me once more — at the reservoir.

The pond, which was 30 metres square, stood quietly in the darkness.

"Say." As the insects kept buzzing, I asked. "Do we really have to do that?"

Yoishi's white face, illuminated by the light, looked my way.

"He has nothing to do with this, right? He just got sick and died. Why does he have to be sunk in such a lonely place?"

"That’s mere sentimentality."

"Have you read this notebook? All he wanted was a healthy body. And—"

My eyes had gotten used to the darkness, and a sludgy reservoir full of floating algae was spread out before me.

"And he has to be sunk in a lonely place like this?"

"Those that fall into darkness, must be treated as those that belong to the darkness."

"... What?"

"All criminals have circumstances that caused them to stain their hands with crime. They may have been abused by their parents. They may have been raised in a socially disadvantaged environment. It could be the result of exposure to heart-breaking malice. And yet, once you've fallen to the darkness, there's no coming back."

Yoishi never stopped, and I just watched.

What to do. What should I do? Yoishi indifferently continued her work. There was no hesitation in her actions. But her slender back stole my eyes away again. To me, it looked to me like she was tying herself. Like she was trying to eliminate her dirtied self. Like that dream—

I recalled the scene of human Yoishi relentlessly kicking snake Yoishi.

"Stop."

I found myself holding Yoishi's hand.

"Let’s think of something else."

"There is nothing else."

"Like a temple, or an exorcist."

"It's not something they can deal with."

For some reason, her usual judgmental tone of voice was somehow intolerable on this occasion.

"How can you say that?"

I looked at her white face.

"You don't know until you've tried."

"I do know."

Turning her jet-black eyes, which were darker than the darkness around her, to me, Yoishi spoke:

"Once a person knows the depth of the darkness, they will end up possessed by those depths."

I became speechless.

I thought of the author who disappeared into the dam on a rainy night. I thought that was just romanticism that existed in stories. I thought it was just high school delusions. However, the words that she uttered now had a weight behind them that could not be easily denied.

But—

But, I shook my head.

I wanted to ask, "Is it really okay to let someone be possessed, and be swallowed up?"

What does it matter if you know what the darkness is.? What's the point of sinking to the bottom of the dam? People die eventually. You can leave the joy of darkness for that occasion. I love mysterious things too. When I see something that can't happen, I'm thrilled by the profoundness of the world. But just like my father prays to the mountain god when he cuts trees from the mountain, it was like paying respect to the existence that we can't see, to something that far surpasses human strength — to nature, you might say -- it's the same as paying homage to it.

I learned that from mother. When I was a kid, I trembled in fear of the seizures that I couldn't predict. One morning, I was awakened at sunrise, and was taken to Mount Eboshi. I remember entering the mountain in the pitch dark, and I clung to mother's hand, rubbing my sleepy eyes as we climbed. The mountain at night was a demonic place where you couldn't see your feet and the sounds of strange animals rang out from everywhere. I climbed, terrified, with my eyes mostly shut, clinging to my mother's hand as my only source of dependability. I didn't know why mother took me out into the mountain at night. But when we arrived at the summit, when mother pointed her finger at the rising sun, I let out a silent scream. The darkness was split asunder, and the sight of the sunrise drenching everything in overpowering light made me shudder with awe. I was shown, with a persuasive power that outweighed a thousand words, that we too are simply being kept alive by the biological miracles that make up this world.

As I thought such random things—

"You should come to Fujieda one day." I ended up saying.

"I'll show you the early morning view from Mount Eboshi there. And if you can still spout that line, then try spouting it."

Yoishi's large eyes widened, as if she was a little surprised.

— Ahh.

I'm stupid. I'm really stupid.

I thought, but I couldn't take back my words.

I had no choice but to stick out my chest.

"That's how it is."

"What you say lacks any logic whatsoever."

She let out a small sigh, and I couldn't fault her for it.

"Anyways, I'm not sinking him there."

I snatched the notebook from Yoishi, and held it close to my chest, as if to embrace it.

Yoishi silently looked at me for a bit, and then.

"Do as you wish."

Eventually, she spoke those cold words, turned her back to me, and left.



  ◯


I know.

I know that I'm an idiot and a wuss beyond saving, I know that well.

Basically, that was it. As you'd expect, I ignored Yoishi's warning and brought the notebook back home, and within a week, strange things started happening around me one after another.

For example, one rainy morning.

On the bus ride to university, I saw it.

I was holding on to the strap in a daze, and there he was, a little further away.

A man wearing a kamishimo<ref>Kamishimo (old ceremonial dress) is a kind of formal kimono (traditional Japanese clothes) for men. https://www.japanese-wiki-corpus.org/culture/Kamishimo.html</ref>, like you'd see in a historical drama. The color was faded, and he stood there elegantly. Despite his conspicuous attire of an indigo dyed kimono and white hakama, no one so much as glanced at him. Of course, cosplay was all the rage these days, so I looked away. However, when the bus arrived at a stop and I looked in that direction again, he was gone. I thought he had merely gotten off. Then I looked outside, and almost fainted. For some reason, he was standing on top of a building next to the main street. He was aloof and walking on the fence on the roof of the building.

And then, during a university lecture:

I suddenly heard the sound of a whistle. It was somewhat wistful and lonely, being carried softly by the wind. I was listening to it, thinking how elegant it was, when I suddenly realized that it wasn’t coming from outside. It was emanating from the classroom, or more specifically, from beside me. I hurriedly glanced around, but, of course, no one was playing a flute. I mean, if you were blowing a flute during a lecture, you were bound to get scolded by the professor. I quickly suppressed my pounding heart and breathed deeply a few times. However, I still heard the flute. The melody wasn't long enough to follow, but it also wasn’t short enough to ignore. And yet, the tune was distinctive and lingered in my head. I became scared and covered my ears. That moment, I felt goosebumps, as if water was splashed on my back. I could still hear it. I could hear it even though I was covering my ears. When I realized I was hearing it from inside my head, I covered my mouth to stop myself from screaming, and leaped out of the classroom.

During lunchtime, it happened again when I was playing basketball with some guys in the gymnasium.

When I'd cut off the ball and was dribbling through opposing territory, the opposing player, who was part of the basketball club, did a quick cover. That moment, I saw someone raise their hand in the corner of my vision. I quickly tossed a pass intended to bypass the opposing defense. However, what I heard was an out-of-bounds whistle, and my teammate cursed at me, "What're you doing?"

"Huh? You were running there weren't you?"

I asked back, but my teammate answered, “I was on the other side”.

I cocked my head in puzzlement and continued to play, but on two more occasions during that game, I tossed a pass to someone who only existed on the edge of my vision, to the irritation of my teammates.

... What was going on?

As expected, I felt abnormal, and wandered outside the gymnasium. I went to the drinking fountain at the side of the entrance, turned on the water and drank as much water as I could. Then I sat on the bench to the side, and raised my head. The sky was blindingly clear. But despite it being clear, I felt like something was dark. As if the world I was used to seeing was slightly foggy. Like an old, discolored photograph, there was a world I wasn't related to. There was only a sense of dismay, as if me and the world I lived in had unexpectedly parted ways.

"I guess it's that thing's fault."

The notebook was still in my house.

I brought it home in the end, but I kept it tied shut with Yoishi's shimenawa out of fear, and placed it at the back of my closet. So far, I had been resting peacefully, as nothing had happened since — but a part of me must have still been worried about it. Maybe that's why I've been feeling like I've seen strange things recently.

Just then, someone sat next to me.

I subconsciously slid over a bit for them—

But when I saw the shoes they wore, my heart skipped a beat.

It was a worn sneaker. Tied with blue laces, worn without socks.

My whole body froze, and I couldn't move.

I don't remember how I was even breathing.

Sound disappeared, and the world was covered with white fog—

I just continued sitting there.

"Nice weather."

I heard a voice after what felt like an eternity had passed.

I snapped my head up, and saw Ishikawa’s smiling face, who attended the same language class as me.

He was a pretty typical university student for this fairly well-to-do university.

"You okay?"

"... Uh, yeah."

My body was able to move again. I glanced secretly to the side and saw that there was no one sitting there anymore. I opened my fist, closed it. It moved. However, my palms were soaked with sweat.

"Just off work?"

"No."

"It looks like you haven't gotten enough sleep."

Hahahah, Ishikawa laughed. He was incredibly capable at getting good work, good company, and good connections, so when I looked at him, I suddenly felt ashamed at how terribly unrealistic and ridiculous my worries were.

"Hey, Nagito, listen."

Ishikawa looked like he wanted to talk and started jabbering all by himself.

"The other day, I had a joint party with some girls from a nearby women's university. One of them was a real softy. She started talking about the type of guys she liked, so I just indulged her. Then she gave me her phone number and stuff." 

"Is that right?"

"She was kind of weird."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"But you know..."

Ishikawa spoke after a pause:

"I'd fuck her."

Those words made my intestinal juice churn. I felt as if I had been thrown into a filthy, sludgy factory effluent. I felt nausea rising in my stomach and I ran out of there.

When I stood up and looked at Ishikawa's face, it looked like something different. Like something dark and inhuman. I was going nuts. Anyway, I’m at my limit, I thought.

At that moment, the sky suddenly darkened. I thought the clouds had come out and looked up, but the sky remained clear. The clear sky stretched on forever. But it was dark. My surroundings alone were dark. I kept running, while being assailed by such an illusion. I ran through campus at lunch time, heading toward the western club building.

Having broken off ties with Yoishi, there was only one person I could rely on.

"Krishna-san!"

I arrived in front of the clubroom and banged on the steel door as I called out her name, but there was no response from inside. I peered through the foggy glass, and listened, but I didn't sense anyone inside. I leaned against the wall and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed Krishna-san's number, which had been written on her business card. The time it took to connect seemed endless, but I waited patiently, catching my breath.

《... Hello? 》

I became teary at the voice I heard.

"Krishna-san, I'm in trouble."

I felt like I was about to scream.

《What? What happened?》

"I think I might be possessed by something."

I told her everything this time, without leaving anything out.

I told her about the notebook I took out from the hospital. That I'd kept silent about it. How Yoishi was going to throw it away, but I ended up bringing it back home. And how my daily life was becoming more and more tenuous.

I told her everything, and pleaded:

"Save me, please."

On the other side of the phone, Krishna-san went silent.

I was prepared to hear her say, "You're hopeless." I didn't care how much she scolded me. I didn't care if she insulted me. Even then, she should be able to instantly come up with something.

《For now, all I can say is...》

I eventually heard Krishna-san's voice.

《Is that I can't help you.》

"Huh? Why?"

《I'm in Aomori.》

"-- Huh?"

Come to think of it, her voice did sound distant.

"Wait... why'd you go to a place like Aomori?"

《To correct my spine.》

"Why'd you go all the way to Aomori to correct your spine—"

《The spine is an air duct. Well, it'd be a long explanation, so leave it. But more importantly, my teacher's going to talk.》

— Teacher?

Ahh, come to think of it, Krishna-san did mention having a teacher... is she with that person?

As I was sorting things out in my head.

《Yo! G'day.》

I heard a man's voice, which sounded surprisingly cheerful. I heard Aomori, so perhaps due to the image of Mount Osore<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Osore</ref>, I expected some old shaman lady’s voice, so this took the air out of me.

《First of all, I want to check your situation. Is there water nearby?》

"Water?"

I looked around, and saw a sink at the end of the hall.

"There is."

《Alright, please wash your hands there first. Then wash the back of your neck.》

I dashed over there and did as he told.

"Done."

《Good. Now when you've wiped it well, hold out your left arm. 》

I followed his instructions.

《Lightly close your fist, and then repeat the sutra I'm about to tell you seven times.》

I frantically nodded, and chanted the sutra he whispered seven times.

"Done? Now, on all five fingers, with the fingers of your right hand, write the letter ogre (鬼), breathe out strongly, and immediately open them afterwards.》

I didn't understand. I didn't understand, but I obeyed.

My opened hand was drenched in sweat, and my fingers twitched, probably due to nervousness.

《— Then.》

His voice suddenly became lower.

《Which fingers are trembling?》

... Umm.

My middle finger was trembling a lot, and my ring finger trembled to match.

When I told him it was my middle finger, the man on the other side of the line went silent.

"Um... hello?"

... Don't shut up all of a sudden. You're scaring me too much.

"Excuse me. Can you hear me? Is it bad if it's the middle finger?"

I shouted, and from the other side of the phone, came a ridiculously bright voice.

《OUT!》

... Hey.


   ◯


《... Hello? Hello, Nagi-kun?!》

"... Ah, Krishna-san."

《Can you hear me? Are you ok?》

I had lost consciousness for a moment from that "OUT!" shout, apparently.

I'd slumped over the sink.

"...Where'd that bastard go?"

I felt anger bubble forth and asked.

《Teacher's using clairvoyance on you right now.》

Krishna-san said from the other side of the phone.

《Well, we don't have a photo so all we have is the information and the direction. I don't know if we'll get any details about what's possessed you and what's causing it.》

"Is that teacher of yours someone trustworthy?"

I asked, and Krishna-san laughed a bit.

《Who knows, he's an oddball. But I am sure of his judgment. I can guarantee that.》

I didn't really get it, but the way she said that annoyed me. Was it jealousy of the trust she showed? Or maybe it was because that bastard shouted a ridiculous "OUT!" like it was none of his business. I didn't get it, but I decided not to trust that guy.

"So, what was up with the trembling fingers just now?"

《That was 'Shisoushiki-betsunodaiji' ('指相識別之大事'), a Nichiren Buddhism chant. It can tell what type of ghost is possessing you.》

"What did he mean by out?"

《Teacher said he didn't believe it either— but, the middle finger meant that it’s not a normal ghost.》

"Not a normal ghost... then what?"

《If I had to give a word, a god.》

"... Huh?"

《A high god or a demonic god — whatever the case, it's not an ordinary wandering ghost.》

Wait. Why's something like that possessing me — I thought, but then I remembered.

Come to think of it, Yoishi and I had snuck into a shrine at night and snatched a shimenawa. But wait, I wasn't the one that cut it, and I apologized more than enough. I understand apologizing doesn’t mean I’ll be forgiven, but this was pretty over the top.

《In any case, I’ll come back to Tokyo immediately. It'll probably be night by the time I arrive, so take a memo of what I’m about to tell you.》

I checked my pockets but there was no paper, so I bowed to a frightened female student who happened to be passing by in the corridor and who was eyeing me suspiciously, and managed to borrow a piece of pen and paper.

And then I said go on, to Krishna-san on the other side of the phone.

《First, throw away that notebook.》She told me.《The location should be somewhere people don't go. The reservoir that you and Yoishi went to should be fine.》

But, even after everything that had happened, I was still against it.

"Do I really have to do that?"

《I sort of understand how you feel. But that's the root of everything.》

"Why is that? What is that child—"

《In all likelihood, a myriad of floating entities are stuck to that notebook.》

With those words, I felt various scattered things rapidly merging together.

《I told you before that ghosts who have lost their purpose seek meaning, didn't I? I don't know who wrote the words on the wall. But it’s very likely that all of this is happening because those two sentences formed meaning as Kotodama.》

— I see. So that's how it was.

That's why Yoishi was trying to throw that away.

And Krishna-san said the words were bad.

But…

But, I was struggling to swallow the word "No", that was just at the tip of my tongue.

He was, me. He was just suffering. He just wanted help. He just wanted to get out of the hospital, and play and jump around and laugh like everyone else.

《Nagi-kun, listen to me. That kid's already dead.》Krishna-san whispered.

《He's not in this world anymore. As long as you feel sorry for the boy, you're never going to get rid of the hauntings that befall you.》

I…

I....

I—

I was about to say something back, when I noticed. I slowly opened my trembling left hand. The trembling of my ring finger was even more intense than the middle finger.

"Um, Krishna-san."

I spoke to the other end of the phone with a trembling voice.

"Um, my ring finger is trembling really hard, too."

《— Huh?》

"Is this…?"

I spoke that much, when the cell phone became filled with static.

Suddenly, I could hear a gurgling sound that sounded like air bubbles floating on the surface of water.

"Huh...? Hello?"

《H... hello...?》

I could hear Krishna-san's voice from somewhere far away. But it was no longer a conversation.

There was static, then the sound of bubbles. And mixed in with that, I heard a low voice. Countless human voices overlapped each other—

《Don't listen!》

Krishna-san suddenly shouted.

"D- don't listen? Then what should I do?"

And then the phone abruptly cut off.

"K- Krishna-san?"

I tried redialing a number of times, but the phone never connected.

====5====

...What should I do?

The sun was setting, and I'd been desperately clinging to sunlight, but I was about to run out of places to go.

Anyways, to where people are — to a crowded place with lots of people—

I wandered aimlessly, and before I knew it, I was heading towards the main auditorium facing the courtyard.

However—

My feet stopped in front of the glass door to the auditorium.

Inside the classroom, a hundred odd students were seated, and a professor was writing on the blackboard on the podium. I could hear the sounds of notes being taken. I could hear the sound of chalk being chiseled on the blackboard. The auditorium was filled with the silent fervor of people doing what they're supposed to be doing.

I couldn't go in.

I felt ashamed. I felt shame toward my parents, and clawed at my hair. I was in Tokyo against the will of my parents, and even borrowed money from my sister. It wasn't easy for my household to pay my tuition fees. And yet, what in the world was I doing? I'd been mesmerized by the occult, going to places I was told not to go to, throwing it all away halfway through, and became possessed by something. I was living my life like an idiot, doing nothing but idiotic things.

Could I still return?

Could I still return to the right place?

As Yoishi and Krishna-san had said, I should just throw away the notebook. But the stubborn kid inside me vehemently refused to throw away the notebook. It shouted that it still didn't feel like the right thing to do. Part of me wanted to throw it away, and another part wanted to hang on, and it was also me that stood dumbfounded here and now. It was me that was tormented by all these complex feelings, and I was the one who was causing trouble for all sorts of people and straying further and further away from the path I should be walking on. Several me's were killing each other in a fierce battle that unfolded in my head. I was punching myself, stabbing myself, tearing at myself, ripping myself apart. A vicious war continued, and eventually, all of me died. As a result, my feet stopped, my thoughts stopped, and the me that was no longer anyone stared dumbfounded at the classroom — and there, I found the me I didn't know.

The seat I was always sitting in — the far-right seat on the fifth row from the front.

I was sitting there.

I was bored and listening to a lecture with a blank expression on my face.

At that moment, something inside me collapsed with a sound.

—Was it the other way around?

—Was I the ghost, and was he the real thing?

Nothing reflected in my eyes felt real anymore. I felt like I was the only one who had been composited into the finished film after the fact. My common sense was just a thin thread that connected me to this world. It could be cut off by the slightest thing. Like Zippo-san's friend, the strand was suddenly cut one day, and he couldn’t go back.

I wobbled away from the lecture hall, and before I knew it, I was sitting on a bench nearby.

I clutched my hair with both hands. I could hear the sound of cars in the distance like some kind of noise, and the flowerbeds, noticeboard and dark trees in front of me looked like made-up props.

The normalcy of a place, common sense, all disappearing in one day.

I finally understood how terrifying that was. My sense of values was shaken. I lost sense of where I stood. I realized I was completely pointless. That moment, I didn't even cry. Because it was pointless. What was the point of a pointless person shedding pointless things? Emptiness produces nothing but emptiness.

—— How does it feel to be scared?

Yoishi had asked me before.

Yoishi, I get it.

This is what it means to be scared. To lose your place.

—This is it.

I raised my head, and in front of me was a white face.

Yoishi Mitsurugi's long, black hair was flowing in the wind, and her big eyes were looking at me.

"At this rate, you're going to die."

The high school girl in a uniform stood out on the university campus at dusk.

The university students walking by glanced in our direction as they went.

"Why do you wish to carry the darkness of others — to the point of suffering this much?"

Yoishi's glass bead-like eyes, however, lacked the usual hollowness.

Instead, there was light in them that wanted to know something other than "fear."

"Why...?"

Why was it? I didn't know. In fact, I was suffering because I didn’t know. I couldn't answer that question now. So I just talked, without knowing why.

"...Isn't that normal?"

"—What?"

"If someone's carrying something that heavy... don't you usually help them?"

"Even if it's a load you can’t handle?"

Her question left me stumped.

I didn't know. That's why I'd been sticking my hand in so many things and then leaving them half-assed. Then should I not have stuck my hand in them? Was that it?

"A load I can’t handle — eh? Shit."

I replied while clawed through my hair.

"It's not like I'm sticking my hand into everything I see. There's a basis—"

"Basis?"

"Because, if I were to do that naturally — it'd only be for friends."

I surprised myself when I said those words.

To be honest, the dead boy wasn't exactly a friend. Of course, I didn’t know his face and I'd never talked to him. But I certainly shared his pain. I was in the same state of suffering. As a child, I was always close to death, so the boy's wish was no stranger to me. Please fix my sickness. When I first saw those words, I muttered to myself:

—I can't do anything, but I can be with you.

That's why I took the notebook out of there with me. Just like how my mother, who couldn’t heal me directly, used to hold my hand for hours until the attacks ended. Like how that hand was my only harbor in the middle of a sea of fear. I wanted to teach him that just by having one person by your side, people can overcome things. 

"— I'm such an idiot."

Tears were spilling out of my eyes before I’d realized...

"I'm such an idiot," I kept repeating.

"Indeed, it's not logical."

Yoishi silently whispered, and then she suddenly pulled a cell phone from her pocket.

I thought she was going to call someone, but suddenly she began moving her fingers at a frenetic pace.

I thought she was sending someone a message, but her finger speed was unthinkable. Without blinking, Yoishi continued pounding away with her thumb, like a broken mechanical doll that was repeating the same motion over and over again. A drop of sweat appeared on her forehead, which then stuck to her hair, with her legs slightly apart, she stood there without moving, as if she was rooted to the ground. Only her thumbs wriggled at a high speed.

I stared, jaw agape—

And it continued for almost an hour.

Our surroundings had become covered entirely in darkness, and sometimes a patrolling security guard came by, I would bow my head, saying, "Wait a bit for her please." That's how much urgency her fingertips seemed to have.

The keystroke operation, which seemed to go on forever, ended abruptly.

At the same time, the unusual concentration and tension that had filled Yoishi’s limbs was cut off. Yoishi crumbled softly to the ground — and I quickly caught her. For the first time, I found out light her body was.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I asked, and she nodded slightly.

"...What the hell were you doing?"

But she didn't answer, instead saying an inexplicable, "How comfortable."

"But this should solve everything."

And with that last line—

Yoishi's eyes rolled up and she lost consciousness.




 ◯



"Are you alright?"

It was late at night on the same day.

Krishna-san shouted as she jumped into my room, and when she saw Yoishi lying in my futon, she began opening and closing her mouth.

"Ah... oh... you."

"... Yes?"

"You, a high school girl... are you serious! What're you doing bringing a high school girl into your room! And sh- sh- she's sleeping in your futon!"

For some reason, her face turned furiously red and she shouted at me like that.

Maybe this person was extremely weak to that type of topic?

"Well, well, Krishna-chan, calm down."

Karasu-san arrived then.

Changing the wet towel on Yoishi's forehead, she explained for me.

"When I'd come to pick up my belongings, I found Nagi-kun carrying this girl on his back and crying 'She collapsed, she collapsed!' And when I checked, she had quite a fever. My room's being used as a storehouse and has no futon, so we gave her medicine and laid her down here."

That's how it was, and still seated straight, I shot Krishna-san an insulted look.

"I- I see —— sorry. And, are you alright?"

She said, and Krishna-san placed a big travel bag at the edge of the room and looked at me. I noticed that there was a bit of displacement between her shoulder and her head.

"I don't know... but Yoishi said that everything should be solved."

"What?"

"I can never really tell what she's doing, and this time, I especially don’t get it."

Krishna-san sank weakly to the floor and sighed. She must have really rushed over from Aomori. I felt sorry for her exhausted she was.

"I'm sorry for everything. I’ve caused you trouble once again."

I bowed my head deeply, and she venomously replied, "Indeed."

"It was quite hectic since then. I couldn't connect to your cell phone anymore, and our cell phone got interference——Anyways, I'll tell you what teacher said. The results of the clairvoyance."

She pulled out a thick memo pad from her bag and began reading.

"First —— the result of the "Shisoushiki betsunodaiji," you said your middle finger trembled. The middle finger, as we mentioned over the phone, is either a high god or a demonic god, but afterwards you said your ring finger also moved, right? If you said that earlier we would have handled it differently."

"What do you mean?"

"The ring finger means a living ghost."

"... Huh?"

No, wait a minute.

Living ghost? Like, when jealousy or hatred take a spiritual form...

"Yes, that living ghost. The person who fired it doesn't realize it either, a rather bothersome spiritual obstruction."<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikiry%C5%8D</ref>

Krishna-san explained it in a straightforward manner, but it didn't make sense to me.

"In other words, that’s it, isn’t it? I was going through all this, and the person who fired that off is just living happily every day, right?"

"Well, yes."

Instantly, the blood rushed to my head. I had been through the depths of fear and despair up to this point, and I was filled with an inexpressible rage.

"Who is it? I'm seriously going to beat the shit out of them."

I said with gusto, and Krishna-san shrugged her shoulders and said, "That's a tough one.”

"Feel like going around punching every occult-lover around the nation?"

"........ Around the nation?"

"Well, to be specific, most of them live around the Tokyo region. Because the rumors about the 'hospital that grants wishes' spread quite oddly around the Tokyo locale. In other words, those who believe the urban legend that wishes come true at that hospital based on false information, and feel hope - their wishes become living ghosts, which combine to form an incredibly large spirit that nestles in that hospital."

"Then, the man I saw wearing a kamishimo—"

"Probably a ghost floating about in the area. For a clump of spiritual forms, the ones that have the most memories are the ones that gain superiority. I said ghosts float about when they've lost sight of their purpose, but basically, that means the true suspect behind this incident is that huge living spirit. The large, floating ghost and the living ghosts then further combined, gathered around the urban legend that 'wishes come true,' and gained almost god-like spiritual bodies."

I was aghast, and Krishna-san turned the next page and read.

"And there is one more thing. There's a device that amplifies living ghosts."

"Device?"

"The internet."

Krishna-san pushed her red-framed glasses up with her middle finger, and stared at me.

"Ahh, it's pretty stupid — the fuss over that hospital on the internet. It's not like putting something randomly in the hospital in the proper position would be enough to grant a wish, and nobody's wish really came true. However, it is a place with that much focused emotion. I'm sure one or two ghosts existed. So they go there for a selfish wish, and then end up hurt. What do people do, then?"

"... Scum."

Everything was coming together.

Slowly, the feeling of hope would inflate. They would go there, braving fear. Yet, nothing happened. Wishes were never granted. I would feel ashamed for believing such a thing — but there are people who refuse to let themselves be the only ones fooled.

"Yes — such a pitiful, helpless gathering of malice in letter form. The twisted desires transform into malice, and those call for even more crueler thoughts. The urban legend of 'the hospital that grants wishes' was born this way."

Was that why Yoishi said it was pathetic?

Didn’t she say ghosts exist on the internet?

— I'd understood to that point, but I realized there was still a much more basic mystery standing in the way. Like the incident last year at that hospital. Where Yoishi alone had disappeared from the others, but there was a divergence in their memories. How could that be explained?

I asked, and Krishna-san shot me a somewhat reproachful look. She was probably worried about my exhausted spirit, but I begged her to tell me.

"Please tell me. I mean, if I don't solve that mystery, I'm going to die of shock from the delusion that's growing inside me!"

"Yes, well... maybe. You're quite delusional."

She insulted me, and then explained.

"It's simple. Because everyone Yoishi was with was a living ghost."

Those words gave me goosebumps.

Within that endless darkness—

I imagined Yoishi walking alongside living ghosts enjoying evil delusions.

"The members other than Yoishi had probably gone there to have a wish granted. In other words, when they saw the words on the wall, they wondered what was needed to grant their wish. They drew that wish strongly in their mind. I think that's what Yoishi saw."

And then, with a very envious look on her face, Krishna-san looked at the sleeping Yoishi.

"This girl can probably see ghosts."

"Then Zippo-san's friend, only mumbling Yoishi—"

"A living ghost is a clump of dirty ego that people don't want others to know about. Imagine having this girl whisper those things to you in that situation."

I remembered Krishna-san's words some time ago.

That Yoishi easily crosses the boundaries.

Yoishi's words and deeds are filled with things humans must not know.

That is why her words and deeds always sway us, who live on this side.

Luckily, I was still standing on this side, but—

There was always the possibility that I would not make it back from the very edge of the boundary of this world.

And Zippo-san's friend was not able to.

"Anyways—"

Krishna-san muttered, scratching her bobbed head.

"In this case, we have to admit fault, too. Compared to the horror stories of old, that took time to change and mature, today's urban legends spread rapidly via the internet and undergo a dramatic chemical change at a certain point in time. There's no root behind them. Someone's irresponsible posts creates a chain effect that creates a magnetic field. It ends up attracting the real thing. In a way it's inevitable, because the dark part, where there’s no source whatsoever is the real thrill of the occult — but it all started when a symbol appeared in a place where people were just gathering."

"That was, the words on the note?"

I asked, and Krishna-san sadly nodded.

"That's how desperate his feelings must have been."

— Please fix my sickness.

Those clumsy words reappeared in the back of my eyes.

Wanting to play outside, wanting to leave the hospital, wanting to go to school, wanting to eat a lot, wanting to play games.

At the very end, he returned all his desires to that place.

"Pure, yet powerful words — the Japanese people of old called them Kotodama."

Krishna-san concluded.

Silence filled my room, and we could only hear the low rumbling of my small refrigerator.

"But still."

Karasu-san who had been listening to us in silence up to that point, opened her mouth.

"Does that, really, solve everything?"

... That was it.

To be honest, I'd been wondering that myself. Was it possible to exorcise a god-class spiritual form? Just what did Yoishi do on her cell phone back then? Why did she look so satisfied before losing consciousness, saying that it was comfortable; that still bothered me.

Indeed, said Krishna-san, and she glanced at Yoishi's white face, as she slept like she was dead.

"She said she solved everything, right?"

"Yes."

"Hmph."

Pushing up her glasses, which had slid down a bit, she snorted.

"Well, we'll see. Truthfully, I don't sense much from you right now, and I'm personally very curious as to how Yoishi Mitsurugi exorcised all of that."

I, too, was too tired today to think about anything more complicated. My body still ached all over, it felt heavy, and my mind wasn't fully cleared yet. I could sleep like a log right away.

"Nagi-kun, if you want to sleep, you can use my room."

Karasu-san laughed, as I stifled a yawn that probably came about from relief.

"You'd be overwhelmed if you were to sleep in the same room as a high school girl, right? What youth."

W- w- what is she talking about?

I was about to say, but Krishna-san was the one who spoke.

"Y- you shouldn't, Nagi-kun! How... vulgar... you can't, you can't."

She was blushing bright red as she flailed about, and Karasu-san nimbly evaded her and sat down next to Yoishi. She then turned the towel on her forehead over and smiled.

"I see — this girl is Yoishi. Even though she looks so cute asleep."

Karasu-san muttered somewhat entranced, but—

Well, as long as she stops vomiting and takes a bath every day, I would agree.

“Well, I’ll accept your kind offer.”

When I said that and stood up.

"Nagi-kun."

Krishna-san called to me from behind.

"You've done enough for him."

"......."

"I will take responsibility for the notebook and give it to a proper farewell somewhere appropriate. I won't treat it with disrespect. Alright?"

I don't know why, but tears filled my eyes.

With my face turned away, I nodded repeatedly.



 ◯



After that, my body felt lighter day by day.

Strange things stopped happening after that. I didn't see the man in a kamishimo. I didn't hear the sound of flutes. I didn't sense any creepy people. And more than anything, the world was bright enough for me to want to skip around.

On such a day, when I had regained all my energy, I passed by the main gate of the affiliated school on my way to Krishna-san's room in the western club building. Seeing the high school students on their way home, I wondered about Yoishi.

She was already gone the next morning when I returned to my room from Karasu-san's luggage room. There was no letter or anything, but the futon was folded up again. I fearfully took a whiff, but only the scent of my shampoo remained. That was the last I saw of her.

— In any case, I should at least say a word of thanks.

Is what I thought, as I waited for Yoishi to come out, but she didn't. Eventually I grew impatient and asked a random student about Yoishi Mitsurugi.

"She's probably still in the library." They said.

She was apparently a problem child that rarely came to school. In addition, all the students had an aura of not wanting to get involved with her, which made me concerned about her daily life.

So, I hurried to the city library, which was under five minutes away, on my mama-cycle.

I passed by the receptionist, and glanced through the reading seats in order, and found Yoishi in her school uniform by the far window. She was mesmerized by a thick book.

"Yo, what're you reading?"

I called out, and she answered without lifting her head.

"Kürten's manuscript."

"Who's that? An author?"

I sat across from her and asked, and she shook her head.

"A famous German serial killer. His murders were so abnormal people couldn't arrest him until he turned himself in."

I was dumbfounded, but she continued with a somewhat ecstatic expression on her face.

"Kürten's orgasms, where he ejaculates while killing, are very interesting."

I took a peek, and it was a book with gross monochrome photographs that made me want to look away.

"Oh, well."

I cleared my throat and said what I came to say.

"I don't know what you did, but my body feels lighter and I stopped seeing weird people too. And Krishna-san took care of that notebook. In any case, you saved me quite a bit. Thanks."

I bowed my head.

"That's good."

She mumbled, and she grabbed the book and bag as she stood up.

She carefully returned the book to the shelf, and began walking to the entrance.

— So, what the hell did you do?

I was almost about to ask, but this time I restrained myself. Krishna-san said I had no capacity to learn, but that wasn't true. Even I had room to grow. There are areas in this world where it was impossible for me to go to. I learned that the hard way this time. So I restrained myself, and saw her off as she walked away.

However, a few meters ahead of me, she seemed to remember something, and turned around.

She came back next to me, put her face close to mine and whispered softly in my ear.

"You shouldn't look at websites related to that abandoned hospital for a while."

"... Huh?"

"Farewell."

And with that, she just walked away.

I stood there dumbfounded for a bit—

But something bubbled forth, an immense level of curiosity.

No, wait, stop it. I'm the type that goes when I'm told not to go. It's an uncontrollable habit I've had since childhood. And of course, I could already imagine I would end up crying and wishing I hadn't done it in the first place, but — before I’d realized, I'd already taken my cell phone from my pocket. Just a bit. Just let me take a quick peek, and if it’s dangerous, I can just close it. That’s what I told myself.

I immediately accessed the internet, and randomly did a search for "Hachiouji" "abandoned hospital" "wish." A bunch of pages I'd looked at before appeared, and for the time being, I opened the first one.

However—

"... What the hell is this."

I was surprised, and checked other sites.

"... It’s the same."

All the sites had stopped updating after a flurry of posts. The date of the posts was exactly one week ago. They matched the time and date that Yoishi had been typing on her phone.

"Did she post this?"

Fearfully, I read the post.

And at the top of the post, I immediately understood.

They all began with that famous line.

【Read this story at your own risk. Please accept that before proceeding】

The self-responsibility type horror story that was famous around the internet.

They say that just by reading the creepy tale, you begin experiencing spiritual disturbances, and they always have endings that lack closure. Some say that the character strings themselves hide words for summoning ghosts, and other rumors say that there are words within that are designed to make your guardian spirits disappear.

I read a bit more and immediately understood. It was about an 'abandoned hospital', no matter how one reads it.

"... I see, that's a nifty idea."

The only way to erase the desire for the 'abandoned hospital' was to make it a taboo subject.

It was a story of a girl attracted to the "abandoned hospital" that slowly stepped foot into a world of madness.

I was drawn in from the beginning. The writing was chilling and the description of the gradual disintegration of her personality was terrific. The somewhat twisted backdrop felt very real, and the horror stories she spoke of, the real ones that made you feel uncomfortable, every part of the writing was overflowing with that odd sense of discomfort. Yoishi was able to write like this? I was surprised, but at the same time, I was extremely curious about the ending.

In the library, as the sun set, I found myself clutching my cell phone close to me as I read, entranced by the story. The gradual usage of hiragana, as if to depict the crumbling mind, was terrifying. It was like Algernon. I held my breath and followed the letters with my eyes as I thought this. I read on, not caring for the chills I was getting. And finally, when the girl was led by fate down to the basement of the hospital once more —

Suddenly, the screen of my cell phone was covered.

When I looked up, I saw that Yoishi had returned and was reaching out with her hand.

And with her dark, deep eyes gazing upon me—

"You shouldn't read until the end."

And those were the most terrifying set of words I'd heard in the past few days.

























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