Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume14 Chapter4 (section)

===Part 5===

After returning to her own home, Kirika collapsed on the sofa.

Her chest felt painful as though someone was constricting her tightly. Still lying on the sofa, she removed her clothing, entering a state which she considered fully nude, but the constricting feeling did not go away at all. This applied in two separate senses.

There was the scene she had witnessed at Lilyhowell's lair earlier. She recalled how his face smiled while he was recounting Konoha's past. No, starting from that point, she was already unable to dispel the image from her mind. This matter was constricting her chest tightly in a manner that even a cursed bondage suit could not compare.

Those bonds were too powerful. Seeing him reminisce with that kind of look on his face, she could not help but come to this conclusion.

(That's right... Past memories are very powerful. A weight built up and protected by the long passage of time, impossible to topple overnight. I'm so jealous...)

However&mdash;A certain person was murmuring quietly in the bottom of her heart. Both ugly and irritating, the one whispering was her other self that she absolutely refused to acknowledge.

But Konoha was no longer here. He was simply using past memories to forcibly fill in the void left behind by what was lost.

That void. If he truly lost things for real, a massive hole would result there, right?

Forced to admit the weight of reminiscences, it also implied the greatness of the void resulting after loss. Taking advantage of this void would be exceedingly simple...

(Shut up.)

You don't have any shared memories built up over many years. Impossible to oppose her at all. Seizing the the void after Konoha's disappearance, surely this was the only and guaranteed method&mdash;

"&mdash;Shut up!"

She suddenly glared with her eyes widened and used her entire body's strength to hammer the table next to the sofa, hammering so hard that she was almost breaking the bones in her hand. Of course, her bones did break in actual fact. Acute pain was transmitted from her fist, the numbing kind akin to experiencing an electrical current. She was the one feeling this pain. Absolutely not the depraved villain lurking in the thick and filthy mud in the depths of her heart. Hence, relying on this pain, Kirika awakened her thoughts.

Then she expressed agreement.

I know. You have a point.

Suppose there really existed a means for her to win, it could only happen by seizing the void left behind by her rival. Only by seizing the advantageous position generated by that void after her rival dropped out. This was the realistic method with the highest chances of victory&mdash;

(That's right. So realistic it's absolutely ridiculous...)

But precisely because of that, she could not choose such means.

Slowly getting up, Kirika sat up properly on the sofa this time. Her pale white body. The black bondage suit covering it. The bones sticking out in sight because of the fracturing impacts. The injured and bleeding fist. Simply by resting the fist on her thigh and staring at it, she could see it healing slowly. What a repulsive scene.

However, thanks to this scene, she was able to seriously recall the forgotten truth after so long.

Both matter-of-fact and important, it was the truth that absolutely must not be glossed over.

(This is myself.)

No matter how repulsive, this was still the greatest component of her being. Question: What kind of existence is Ueno Kirika? Answer: This kind of existence. What else could be said?

Having remembered this fact, she ought to go further and recall another.

She had confessed her feelings to him only because she intended to squarely confront the curse enveloping her, to confront her cursed destiny.

Having prepared herself for absolute defeat&mdash;Even if defeated, she firmly believed that this defeat would be precisely the refreshing result to seal away her cursed way of life.

Dreaming of a legitimate victory's possibility&mdash;She firmly believed this was what truly held value.

Hence she had confessed.

But this was not the current situation. It was equivalent to facing the back of a challenge she ought to confront head on. Could she simply stab the enemy in the back and survive in shame?

"The answer... is obvious, right...?"

Murmuring softly like this, Kirika clenched the fist that was squirming and recovering in a disgusting manner.

That would be stealing. The devil's whispers, disrespecting and wasting her initial resolve. Although it seemed quite attractive for the moment, she would eventually feel unable to forgive herself. The feelings of despise for her cursed self were probably never going to disappear.

She had forgotten something important.

After confessing, because she had not been rejected immediately, the illusion of hope had sprung up. Her eyes were mesmerized by the treasure that seemed even easier to reach than imagined. Like a despicable thief.

"But... I am not a thief."

She wanted to become a warrior, someone who could take defeat in stride while holding her head high. Not a cowardly victor. She had forgotten this fact.

Turning her gaze to the fist that had recovered its original form, Kirika stood up from the sofa. Ignoring the clothing she had casually thrown off the sofa, she went to the changing area directly.

In order to infuse vitality into her listless brain, she washed her face with cold water. As though beating herself up, she washed many times.

"Phew..."

She looked up. Before her eyes were her thoroughly wet bangs and face, the weird bondage suit on her body, the cursed acts of perversion she could not escape, the Ueno Kirika who deeply loved the boy named Yachi Haruaki. In other words, herself.

In the end&mdash;She discovered it. Kirika grinned at the mirror.

"...My confession has not ended yet. Until that guy gives me an answer, it's still in progress..."

Hence, in order to obtain his reply, everything necessary to undertake...

In other words, the matter of retrieving the girl named Konoha&mdash;

Surely, all of it counted as part of her confession.

Without doing that, her confession to him would not be complete.

"...How troubling, I really am an incurable masochist."

I knew it long ago, although it's truly absolutely ridiculous&mdash;Herself in the mirror was also smiling wryly.



Hence, the next day at Lilyhowell's lair&mdash;

Having remembered already, in order to complete her confession, she could only devote her mind and body fully to doing everything within her ability.

"Yachi, I have decided. Konoha-kun must be rescued no matter what. Uh, if I put it this way, you might think that I haven't been serious in wanting to save her until now, but it's not like that. Let me think&mdash;In other words, my level of seriousness increased. I guess I should say that I've come to a realization about the situation and also seen clearly what I ought to do..."

Despite showing a slightly lost and confused look on his face, Haruaki still answered:

"Well&mdash;Yes, thank you, Class Rep. I really appreciate it."

"I've already decided that I'm willing to do anything so long as it's within my ability. I'm willing to do anything... So..."

Kirika turned herself to face Lilyhowell squarely.

"If it could increase the power of your Wathes, thereby slightly raising this battle plan's chances of success, I intend to assist you."

"Meaning?"

"I remember there's one called the slaughtering blade «My Bloody Valentine»? The tool you were planning to use on that couple. Just by chopping human flesh, the blade becames sharper, right?"

"Hold on, Class Rep, you're...!"

Haruaki and the others entered a commotion. Kirika held up her palm towards them to stop them from speaking.

Certain things could only be done by someone like her whose wounds would heal. Perhaps he might say "there's no need to go that far," but she believed that it was insufficient compensation unless she did this at least. Compensation for what she had been harboring subconsciously in her heart until now, the most despicable and worst hesitation.

Lilyhowell and her continued to stare at each other intently.

"The plan's main focus has shifted towards Yachi Haruaki and the «Poison Ritter». Apart from that, one, «My Bloody Valentine» is not related to any particular legend but was simply owned by a homicidal medieval merchant. Two, meanwhile, in contrast, Wathes such as Muramasa and Kotetsu are extremely high-level. No matter how much «My Bloody Valentine»'s sharpness is augmented, it will never be able to slice through Muramasa or Kotetsu's blade, most likely."

"But it is probably not meaningless."

"..."'

Lilyhowell exhaled as though in exasperation. At the same time, she could be seen closing her eyes. Kirika also closed her eyes as well. She could imagine what was about to happen. Next, Kirika opened her eyes after a breath&mdash;

"Guh!"

Severed at the wrist, her left hand fell on the floor. Although she had already prepared herself, she still knelt down on the spot from pain. Standing next to her, Lilyhowell spoke while re-sheathing the slaughtering blade she had just swung:

"Before coming here, I had already strengthened this blade to a certain level. With this, it is probably strengthened to its limit. Even if I wanted to strengthen the curse-granted abilities of the «Calamitous Sword of Sigarsholm», none of you will feel terror. Hence, as it stands currently, you have already exhausted everything in your ability to strengthen the power of the Wathes in my possession."

"Is... that so...?"

"Kirika! Lilyhowell, you bitch! Even if Kirika requested it herself...!"

"It's okay, Fear-kun. This is how things should be. Fufu, looks like I'm overflowing with motivation..."

"Kirika...?"

Kirika smiled while breaking out in cold sweat as a biological reaction. Fear gazed down at her with puzzled eyes as though looking at something incomprehensible. Kirika believed this could not be helped either. This resolve, this self-imposed punishment relying on Lilyhowell, it was enough for her to endure it alone.

"Class Rep..."

"Yachi, don't say anything. I did this willingly. I have my own circumstances too."

"Okay... I don't quite get it, but... Anyway, Kuroe, I'm counting on you."

"Yeah, then I'll use a skill similar to repeated casting of auto-healing magic so you can rest assured during every round."

Kirika picked up her left hand and connected the severed wrist. Using hair that had the ability to increase healing, Kuroe wrapped up Kirika's left arm. Just by waiting quietly for a while, it was going to reattach successfully.

"Kuroe-kun, after my hand heals, let's think seriously together how to cooperate and restrain enemies. Practicing with a goal should probably work better than doing our own thing separately."

Kuroe widened her eyes slightly and said:

"What astonishing motivation, it's like you're a totally different person from yesterday."