Editing CubexCursedxCurious:Volume3 Chapter4 (section)

===Part 5===

She could feel shaking. A comfortable, random<!--the text uses 1/f noise as description, but that seems oddly specific--> rocking motion.

A soft feeling against her back. A chair&mdash;no, a seat. Sleep inducing. This came as no surprise, seeing as she had been sleeping until now. Sleeping? Why was she sleeping? Until just now... What had she been doing...

As soon as her thoughts reached this point...

She instantly became wide awake.

"...Himura!"

"You woke up? How do you feel?"

Having taken off his mask, Himura was gripping the steering wheel from the driver's seat. His nonchalant expression was making Kirika feel her urge to kill rising.

"What are you doing&mdash;Turn back! Why did you leave Yachi and her behind!?"

"Because there is no reason to save them."

Gazing forwards where the car's headlights invaded the darkness sharply, the corners of Himura's mouth twisted.

"It goes without saying, you must be saved. You are my partner, the Lab Chief's younger sister, and owner of valuable Wathes&mdash;as well as the woman who should receive my love. No matter what crisis you are in, isn't it only natural that I should rush over to save you like a hero of justice?"

"Stop screwing around! You just mentioned that the Bivorio Family is mad. Leaving Yachi behind with that woman, who knows what she'll do to him...!"

"Like I said, it's none of my business. Whether that guy is killed, abused or violated by Bivorio, that has nothing to do with me. That is what I believe from the bottom of my heart."

"Even so, how could you just save me and leave him alone&mdash;You... Have you have no conscience at all!?"

Out of breath from anger, Kirika panted irregularly.

Indeed. Haruaki had said it was lucky to have her there, but now she was the only one who escaped. She was the only one residing shamelessly in safety like this&mdash;

Kirika felt nauseous from self-contempt. Had she known this would happen, she would not have allowed Himura to rescue her so easily. She would keep herself there even if it meant using the «Tragic Black River». The only reason why she had not done that&mdash;although it was only for an instant, she had thought "I'm saved now" with relief, all because of her moment of weakness. Kirika could not help but curse her carelessness.

"How troubling, why does it feel like I'm taking a class on ethics and morals? Let me tell you honestly, this weighs nothing on my conscience. Rather, I believe this is perfectly reasonable."

"What..."

"The Bivorio Family. The Yachi home. Fear-in-Cube. I am greatly interested in all phenomena related to these entities&mdash;And observing them is my job. Okay, then a certain VIP named Ueno Kirika gets mixed into the experimental farm. What should I do? Keeping the VIP safe is only natural, right? But should I take action towards the experimental farm that is already all set up? Of course not! How could any rational researcher let a rare opportunity go to waste? Of course one would avoid interfering as much as possible in the farm itself, only removing the foreign object that entered the experiment&mdash;"

Experiment. Observation. What on earth was he thinking? When clearly that person's life was on the line!

Kirika felt a stinging pain in her chest. The thorn, embedded in her heart since a long time ago, was hurting with extraordinarily sharp pain.

"...All for the sake... of research...?"

"Completely correct. All we need to concern ourselves with is the completion of the assigned research theme."

Throb. The thorn shuddered. She had intentionally ignored this thorn all this time. The thorn she pretended not to notice only because it was inconvenient to her.

"Then... Then you're just a tool for that man."

"Of course. We are all supposed to be tools for Lab Chief Yamimagari, right? Putting it another way, we are gears as part of the machinery. The all-purpose machinery, a work in progress that could answer all questions about the Wathes&mdash;We are nothing but a part of that all-purpose machinery's creation. This has been the case, from the very beginning&mdash;"

Yes, from the very beginning... It was quite clear.

Which was why she felt she was a tool, a gear.

Shying her eyes away from what was important, she ignored the thorn she had discovered very early on, turning only as a gear should. Although she disliked the job of a gear, she never deliberately attempted to stop. Because it was very easy.

However&mdash;

"...En... ough..."

"Hmm?"

She could no longer hide the pain from the thorn. She did not want to conceal it any further.

From the bottom of her heart, she disliked disguising pain.

"Enough already... I have had enough!"

With a great shout, she punched the dashboard. Greatly surprised, Himura turned to look at her. Clenching her now bleeding fist, Kirika glared at Himura intently, pouring forth all the hostility she could muster.

"Hey, what is it that you've had enough?"

"Everything! This situation, you, Yamimagari Pakuaki, and also the Lab Chief's nation! I've had enough of it all! Ha! Screw you all, everything has nothing to do with me anymore!"

"Kirika, do you understand what you are saying? Calm down. Do you realize on who's account are you able to stay here? The Lab Chief, right? Living expenses, tuition, rent? Who is protecting you? And for what reason? Precisely because you are a member of the Lab Chief's Nation, not because you're the Lab Chief's sister but as a researcher. Once you lose this title, you will be truly isolated and helpless&mdash;"

"Who cares about that! That's right, I don't care about any of this! Only because of that&mdash;"

She took a deep breath. It felt good to acknowledge and condemn the villainous practices of the Lab Chief's Nation.

Likewise for admitting her feelings in front of someone else for the first time.

"Only because of that, I can't even save the man I like! If that's the case, I am truly a tool with no meaning of existence! And that would be impossibly, incurably&mdash;Absolutely ridiculous!"

Himura widened his eyes with a face full of surprise. Kirika pounced at his hands, grabbed the steering wheel by force and turned it with all her might. The tires skidded and screeched intensely from the friction.

In barely half a second, a utility pole appeared before the dead center of the windshield.

Stopping a block of metal moving at sixty kilometers per hour did not require braking.

A collision was good enough.



"Ooh..."

Kirika escaped from the smoking carwreck. Because the door could not be opened, she smashed the window with her bare hands.

This was calculated beforehand. Without any people around, the only damage caused by the accident was the fallen utility pole. Provided she fled the scene immediately, no one was going to question her culpability.

She checked the car's condition. Miraculously, not much gasoline had leaked so there was no need to worry about a fire. Then she looked into the front seat of the carwreck to find Himura fainted on the airbag. Although he was bleeding, there were no obvious external injuries... He might have suffered internal wounds to some extent but Kirika did not want to sympathize with Himura at all.

To be frank, she was actually injured far worse. Crashing into the windshield, her head was bleeding and she had broken bones all over. The feeling of warm blood made her sick. For some reason, she found it difficult to maintain balance. Perhaps she might even have lost an arm without noticing.

But she had to go. She must reach those girls first.

Dragging her steps painfully, Kirika made her way.

Flesh squirmed in her wounds. The sensation felt disgusting as always. But this sense of disgust was not entirely without merit. After all&mdash;Only thanks to this was she able to "risk her life to save a certain person" without hesitation. Even if she failed, she could try again any number of times.