Editing Phenomeno:Case 02 (section)

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"Hey, where do I go from here?"

I was frantically pedaling the bicycle, and yelled out the question.

"Somewhere no one goes to."

Yoishi replied as she sat on the rear seat of the mama-cycle.

She held the notebook in her hand, which was wrapped in newspaper.

"So, about why you came straight to my house from the hospital,"

"Yes — I was following this."

Soon afterwards, Yoishi quickly ran down the hall to the kitchen, and rubbed the coarse shrine salt that had been left on the coffee table over her hands. She sprinkled it on her freshly washed head and on her still-wet clothes. And then, with astonishing speed, she said, "I'm borrowing this," and covered the notebook with the newspaper that had been left there. However, she had a look of ecstasy. She was sealing something terrible, yet her joyous look made me realize how dangerous things had become.

"So that notebook is really dangerous?"

"This is the cause of everything."

"Cause? But it’s just a journal."

"Yes — but, everyone put a meaning to it."

"Put a meaning—?"

And then, I remembered Krishna-san had said something similar.

"Hey, shouldn't we contact Krishna-san?"

But Yoishi flatly rejected that.

"This notebook shouldn't be seen by any more people."

Those words gave me goosebumps, and Yoishi suddenly pointed ahead.

"Turn that corner."

"What?"

"There's a place I want to stop by."

I followed her order and turned into a narrow path off the main road.

There was a small shopping street. They were all closed, of course, since it was nighttime, but it was so quiet that I wondered if it was even open during the day. The streetlights were sparse and their light was unreliable. I'd been trying to stick to roads with lots of people, but why were we going here?

"Hey, where are we headed?"

"There should be a shrine up ahead."

"You want to seal it there?"

"No."

She said naturally.

"I want to get a shimenawa<ref>A rope used for ritual purification in the Shinto religion. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shimenawa</ref> there."

—Shimenawa? Get one?

But just as Yoishi said, a torii gate came soon came into view at the bottom of the shopping street.

The lights of the main shrine are lit at the end of a narrow approach between dimly lit trees.

I slid the bicycle into the narrow parking area, and Yoishi jumped off. She ran under the arch to a big gingko<ref>Ginkgo biloba, commonly known as ginkgo or gingko (/ˈɡɪŋkoʊ, ˈɡɪŋkɡoʊ/ GINK-oh, -⁠goh) also known as the maidenhair tree, is a species of tree native to China. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginkgo_biloba</ref> tree beside the main building. I parked the bicycle, ran to her, and looked around, flustered.

"Are you sure you should do that?"

"Do you want to be cursed or anger a god? Choose."

... I didn't want either.

However, Yoishi must have realized that pulling on the shimenawa would yield no results, as she ran off again. She went into a shack next to the shrine office, and came out with a sickle in her hand. And before I could stop her, she had cut through the thick old shimenawa with great skill. During all this, I prayed toward the main building. Sorry, sorry, she's a denpa. She's probably not a bad person, but she's a denpa.

"There's no such thing as a god, so don't worry."

She said, holding the newspaper wrapped around the notebook in her left hand, and the shimenawa in her right.

"Then why do you need shimenawa?"

"Things that people have prayed to for a long time contain an equal amount of power."

It wasn't the first time I didn't understand what she was talking about.

In any case, I frantically followed Yoishi, who ran back to the bicycle.

When we were both seated, I took off, as if escaping.

I sped up, pointing the bicycle back down the old shopping street towards the main road, and planned to return back the road I came in at full speed.

However—

I had a strange feeling. There was something subtly different from the shopping street earlier — right, as if the number of shops had increased. The shops all still had their shutters closed, but I felt that the shop signs, which used to be one in every few houses, seemed to be attached to almost every house. No, that wasn't all. The rooms behind the windows were faintly bright. There were signs that people were awake. There was a buzz of activity, as if the shops were about to open at any moment.

"Quickly."

Yoishi whispered in my ear.

I didn't need her to tell me: I was pedaling at full force.

Something was wrong. Strange things were happening around me — no, were about to happen.

I could sense people in the narrow alleys between houses.

I could sense them looking at me, but I could no longer look back. I could feel the shutters of the stores beginning to open as I was passing by. I felt like the area behind me suddenly brightened, but I did my best to ignore it. I just kept pedaling and pedaling.

— Give it back.

Suddenly, I felt like I heard that voice. I could feel countless hands closing in behind us. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I repeated in my heart as I endured. My whole body was already covered in sweat. I sped the bicycle toward the end of the seemingly endless shopping street, and dashed out onto the main street.

That moment.

Blinding light filled my retinas. I could hear a blaring horn sound. It was a truck. It was coming at us from the side, about to crash into us head on.

"U... wawawah."

I desperately turned. But it wasn't enough. I couldn't get out of the way.

We were going to be run over — right as I thought that, my cheap mama-cycle performed a feat of mobility I never thought possible. It felt as if time stopped, and when I looked back Yoishi was hanging on for dear life. Her long hair flowed, and her center of gravity had gone so low that her face almost scraped against the ground.

"Pedal!"

That word snapped me back to reality, and I pedaled with all my might.

The tyres, which had been slipping all over the road on both wheels, gripped the road at that moment. The balance of the vehicle was suddenly restored.

"NUOOOOOOOH!"

It was just by a hair.

The truck honked again and grazed us as it passed by.

The air pressure of the truck passing by struck us, but we kept our balance. For a while, I couldn't think about anything, and Yoishi was silent.

From ancestors to whatever—

I gave my thanks to every god I could think of.

　◯

When we entered through the torn wire fence, we found ourselves on a wetland overgrown with weeds.

The surrounding area was completely dark. Whenever the moon hid behind a cloud, we couldn't even see each other’s faces anymore.

The ground was soft, and the area was filled with the displeasing odor of sludge. Only the sound of insects could be heard from there.

We were north of Musashino, at a disused reservoir.

I looked around, speechless, to see Yoishi had a penlight between her lips and was diligently tying random stones around the notebook with the shimenawa she'd just pilfered.

"What're you doing?"

"Sinking it."

She muttered, as if it were something obvious.

I looked at the darkest part of the darkness in front of me once more — at the reservoir.

The pond, which was 30 metres square, stood quietly in the darkness.

"Say." As the insects kept buzzing, I asked. "Do we really have to do that?"

Yoishi's white face, illuminated by the light, looked my way.

"He has nothing to do with this, right? He just got sick and died. Why does he have to be sunk in such a lonely place?"

"That’s mere sentimentality."

"Have you read this notebook? All he wanted was a healthy body. And—"

My eyes had gotten used to the darkness, and a sludgy reservoir full of floating algae was spread out before me.

"And he has to be sunk in a lonely place like this?"

"Those that fall into darkness, must be treated as those that belong to the darkness."

"... What?"

"All criminals have circumstances that caused them to stain their hands with crime. They may have been abused by their parents. They may have been raised in a socially disadvantaged environment. It could be the result of exposure to heart-breaking malice. And yet, once you've fallen to the darkness, there's no coming back."

Yoishi never stopped, and I just watched.

What to do. What should I do? Yoishi indifferently continued her work. There was no hesitation in her actions. But her slender back stole my eyes away again. To me, it looked to me like she was tying herself. Like she was trying to eliminate her dirtied self. Like that dream—

I recalled the scene of human Yoishi relentlessly kicking snake Yoishi.

"Stop."

I found myself holding Yoishi's hand.

"Let’s think of something else."

"There is nothing else."

"Like a temple, or an exorcist."

"It's not something they can deal with."

For some reason, her usual judgmental tone of voice was somehow intolerable on this occasion.

"How can you say that?"

I looked at her white face.

"You don't know until you've tried."

"I do know."

Turning her jet-black eyes, which were darker than the darkness around her, to me, Yoishi spoke:

"Once a person knows the depth of the darkness, they will end up possessed by those depths."

I became speechless.

I thought of the author who disappeared into the dam on a rainy night. I thought that was just romanticism that existed in stories. I thought it was just high school delusions. However, the words that she uttered now had a weight behind them that could not be easily denied.

But—

But, I shook my head.

I wanted to ask, "Is it really okay to let someone be possessed, and be swallowed up?"

What does it matter if you know what the darkness is.? What's the point of sinking to the bottom of the dam? People die eventually. You can leave the joy of darkness for that occasion. I love mysterious things too. When I see something that can't happen, I'm thrilled by the profoundness of the world. But just like my father prays to the mountain god when he cuts trees from the mountain, it was like paying respect to the existence that we can't see, to something that far surpasses human strength — to nature, you might say -- it's the same as paying homage to it.

I learned that from mother. When I was a kid, I trembled in fear of the seizures that I couldn't predict. One morning, I was awakened at sunrise, and was taken to Mount Eboshi. I remember entering the mountain in the pitch dark, and I clung to mother's hand, rubbing my sleepy eyes as we climbed. The mountain at night was a demonic place where you couldn't see your feet and the sounds of strange animals rang out from everywhere. I climbed, terrified, with my eyes mostly shut, clinging to my mother's hand as my only source of dependability. I didn't know why mother took me out into the mountain at night. But when we arrived at the summit, when mother pointed her finger at the rising sun, I let out a silent scream. The darkness was split asunder, and the sight of the sunrise drenching everything in overpowering light made me shudder with awe. I was shown, with a persuasive power that outweighed a thousand words, that we too are simply being kept alive by the biological miracles that make up this world.

As I thought such random things—

"You should come to Fujieda one day." I ended up saying.

"I'll show you the early morning view from Mount Eboshi there. And if you can still spout that line, then try spouting it."

Yoishi's large eyes widened, as if she was a little surprised.

— Ahh.

I'm stupid. I'm really stupid.

I thought, but I couldn't take back my words.

I had no choice but to stick out my chest.

"That's how it is."

"What you say lacks any logic whatsoever."

She let out a small sigh, and I couldn't fault her for it.

"Anyways, I'm not sinking him there."

I snatched the notebook from Yoishi, and held it close to my chest, as if to embrace it.

Yoishi silently looked at me for a bit, and then.

"Do as you wish."

Eventually, she spoke those cold words, turned her back to me, and left.



  ◯


I know.

I know that I'm an idiot and a wuss beyond saving, I know that well.

Basically, that was it. As you'd expect, I ignored Yoishi's warning and brought the notebook back home, and within a week, strange things started happening around me one after another.

For example, one rainy morning.

On the bus ride to university, I saw it.

I was holding on to the strap in a daze, and there he was, a little further away.

A man wearing a kamishimo<ref>Kamishimo (old ceremonial dress) is a kind of formal kimono (traditional Japanese clothes) for men. https://www.japanese-wiki-corpus.org/culture/Kamishimo.html</ref>, like you'd see in a historical drama. The color was faded, and he stood there elegantly. Despite his conspicuous attire of an indigo dyed kimono and white hakama, no one so much as glanced at him. Of course, cosplay was all the rage these days, so I looked away. However, when the bus arrived at a stop and I looked in that direction again, he was gone. I thought he had merely gotten off. Then I looked outside, and almost fainted. For some reason, he was standing on top of a building next to the main street. He was aloof and walking on the fence on the roof of the building.

And then, during a university lecture:

I suddenly heard the sound of a whistle. It was somewhat wistful and lonely, being carried softly by the wind. I was listening to it, thinking how elegant it was, when I suddenly realized that it wasn’t coming from outside. It was emanating from the classroom, or more specifically, from beside me. I hurriedly glanced around, but, of course, no one was playing a flute. I mean, if you were blowing a flute during a lecture, you were bound to get scolded by the professor. I quickly suppressed my pounding heart and breathed deeply a few times. However, I still heard the flute. The melody wasn't long enough to follow, but it also wasn’t short enough to ignore. And yet, the tune was distinctive and lingered in my head. I became scared and covered my ears. That moment, I felt goosebumps, as if water was splashed on my back. I could still hear it. I could hear it even though I was covering my ears. When I realized I was hearing it from inside my head, I covered my mouth to stop myself from screaming, and leaped out of the classroom.

During lunchtime, it happened again when I was playing basketball with some guys in the gymnasium.

When I'd cut off the ball and was dribbling through opposing territory, the opposing player, who was part of the basketball club, did a quick cover. That moment, I saw someone raise their hand in the corner of my vision. I quickly tossed a pass intended to bypass the opposing defense. However, what I heard was an out-of-bounds whistle, and my teammate cursed at me, "What're you doing?"

"Huh? You were running there weren't you?"

I asked back, but my teammate answered, “I was on the other side”.

I cocked my head in puzzlement and continued to play, but on two more occasions during that game, I tossed a pass to someone who only existed on the edge of my vision, to the irritation of my teammates.

... What was going on?

As expected, I felt abnormal, and wandered outside the gymnasium. I went to the drinking fountain at the side of the entrance, turned on the water and drank as much water as I could. Then I sat on the bench to the side, and raised my head. The sky was blindingly clear. But despite it being clear, I felt like something was dark. As if the world I was used to seeing was slightly foggy. Like an old, discolored photograph, there was a world I wasn't related to. There was only a sense of dismay, as if me and the world I lived in had unexpectedly parted ways.

"I guess it's that thing's fault."

The notebook was still in my house.

I brought it home in the end, but I kept it tied shut with Yoishi's shimenawa out of fear, and placed it at the back of my closet. So far, I had been resting peacefully, as nothing had happened since — but a part of me must have still been worried about it. Maybe that's why I've been feeling like I've seen strange things recently.

Just then, someone sat next to me.

I subconsciously slid over a bit for them—

But when I saw the shoes they wore, my heart skipped a beat.

It was a worn sneaker. Tied with blue laces, worn without socks.

My whole body froze, and I couldn't move.

I don't remember how I was even breathing.

Sound disappeared, and the world was covered with white fog—

I just continued sitting there.

"Nice weather."

I heard a voice after what felt like an eternity had passed.

I snapped my head up, and saw Ishikawa’s smiling face, who attended the same language class as me.

He was a pretty typical university student for this fairly well-to-do university.

"You okay?"

"... Uh, yeah."

My body was able to move again. I glanced secretly to the side and saw that there was no one sitting there anymore. I opened my fist, closed it. It moved. However, my palms were soaked with sweat.

"Just off work?"

"No."

"It looks like you haven't gotten enough sleep."

Hahahah, Ishikawa laughed. He was incredibly capable at getting good work, good company, and good connections, so when I looked at him, I suddenly felt ashamed at how terribly unrealistic and ridiculous my worries were.

"Hey, Nagito, listen."

Ishikawa looked like he wanted to talk and started jabbering all by himself.

"The other day, I had a joint party with some girls from a nearby women's university. One of them was a real softy. She started talking about the type of guys she liked, so I just indulged her. Then she gave me her phone number and stuff." 

"Is that right?"

"She was kind of weird."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"But you know..."

Ishikawa spoke after a pause:

"I'd fuck her."

Those words made my intestinal juice churn. I felt as if I had been thrown into a filthy, sludgy factory effluent. I felt nausea rising in my stomach and I ran out of there.

When I stood up and looked at Ishikawa's face, it looked like something different. Like something dark and inhuman. I was going nuts. Anyway, I’m at my limit, I thought.

At that moment, the sky suddenly darkened. I thought the clouds had come out and looked up, but the sky remained clear. The clear sky stretched on forever. But it was dark. My surroundings alone were dark. I kept running, while being assailed by such an illusion. I ran through campus at lunch time, heading toward the western club building.

Having broken off ties with Yoishi, there was only one person I could rely on.

"Krishna-san!"

I arrived in front of the clubroom and banged on the steel door as I called out her name, but there was no response from inside. I peered through the foggy glass, and listened, but I didn't sense anyone inside. I leaned against the wall and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed Krishna-san's number, which had been written on her business card. The time it took to connect seemed endless, but I waited patiently, catching my breath.

《... Hello? 》

I became teary at the voice I heard.

"Krishna-san, I'm in trouble."

I felt like I was about to scream.

《What? What happened?》

"I think I might be possessed by something."

I told her everything this time, without leaving anything out.

I told her about the notebook I took out from the hospital. That I'd kept silent about it. How Yoishi was going to throw it away, but I ended up bringing it back home. And how my daily life was becoming more and more tenuous.

I told her everything, and pleaded:

"Save me, please."

On the other side of the phone, Krishna-san went silent.

I was prepared to hear her say, "You're hopeless." I didn't care how much she scolded me. I didn't care if she insulted me. Even then, she should be able to instantly come up with something.

《For now, all I can say is...》

I eventually heard Krishna-san's voice.

《Is that I can't help you.》

"Huh? Why?"

《I'm in Aomori.》

"-- Huh?"

Come to think of it, her voice did sound distant.

"Wait... why'd you go to a place like Aomori?"

《To correct my spine.》

"Why'd you go all the way to Aomori to correct your spine—"

《The spine is an air duct. Well, it'd be a long explanation, so leave it. But more importantly, my teacher's going to talk.》

— Teacher?

Ahh, come to think of it, Krishna-san did mention having a teacher... is she with that person?

As I was sorting things out in my head.

《Yo! G'day.》

I heard a man's voice, which sounded surprisingly cheerful. I heard Aomori, so perhaps due to the image of Mount Osore<ref>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Osore</ref>, I expected some old shaman lady’s voice, so this took the air out of me.

《First of all, I want to check your situation. Is there water nearby?》

"Water?"

I looked around, and saw a sink at the end of the hall.

"There is."

《Alright, please wash your hands there first. Then wash the back of your neck.》

I dashed over there and did as he told.

"Done."

《Good. Now when you've wiped it well, hold out your left arm. 》

I followed his instructions.

《Lightly close your fist, and then repeat the sutra I'm about to tell you seven times.》

I frantically nodded, and chanted the sutra he whispered seven times.

"Done? Now, on all five fingers, with the fingers of your right hand, write the letter ogre (鬼), breathe out strongly, and immediately open them afterwards.》

I didn't understand. I didn't understand, but I obeyed.

My opened hand was drenched in sweat, and my fingers twitched, probably due to nervousness.

《— Then.》

His voice suddenly became lower.

《Which fingers are trembling?》

... Umm.

My middle finger was trembling a lot, and my ring finger trembled to match.

When I told him it was my middle finger, the man on the other side of the line went silent.

"Um... hello?"

... Don't shut up all of a sudden. You're scaring me too much.

"Excuse me. Can you hear me? Is it bad if it's the middle finger?"

I shouted, and from the other side of the phone, came a ridiculously bright voice.

《OUT!》

... Hey.


   ◯


《... Hello? Hello, Nagi-kun?!》

"... Ah, Krishna-san."

《Can you hear me? Are you ok?》

I had lost consciousness for a moment from that "OUT!" shout, apparently.

I'd slumped over the sink.

"...Where'd that bastard go?"

I felt anger bubble forth and asked.

《Teacher's using clairvoyance on you right now.》

Krishna-san said from the other side of the phone.

《Well, we don't have a photo so all we have is the information and the direction. I don't know if we'll get any details about what's possessed you and what's causing it.》

"Is that teacher of yours someone trustworthy?"

I asked, and Krishna-san laughed a bit.

《Who knows, he's an oddball. But I am sure of his judgment. I can guarantee that.》

I didn't really get it, but the way she said that annoyed me. Was it jealousy of the trust she showed? Or maybe it was because that bastard shouted a ridiculous "OUT!" like it was none of his business. I didn't get it, but I decided not to trust that guy.

"So, what was up with the trembling fingers just now?"

《That was 'Shisoushiki-betsunodaiji' ('指相識別之大事'), a Nichiren Buddhism chant. It can tell what type of ghost is possessing you.》

"What did he mean by out?"

《Teacher said he didn't believe it either— but, the middle finger meant that it’s not a normal ghost.》

"Not a normal ghost... then what?"

《If I had to give a word, a god.》

"... Huh?"

《A high god or a demonic god — whatever the case, it's not an ordinary wandering ghost.》

Wait. Why's something like that possessing me — I thought, but then I remembered.

Come to think of it, Yoishi and I had snuck into a shrine at night and snatched a shimenawa. But wait, I wasn't the one that cut it, and I apologized more than enough. I understand apologizing doesn’t mean I’ll be forgiven, but this was pretty over the top.

《In any case, I’ll come back to Tokyo immediately. It'll probably be night by the time I arrive, so take a memo of what I’m about to tell you.》

I checked my pockets but there was no paper, so I bowed to a frightened female student who happened to be passing by in the corridor and who was eyeing me suspiciously, and managed to borrow a piece of pen and paper.

And then I said go on, to Krishna-san on the other side of the phone.

《First, throw away that notebook.》She told me.《The location should be somewhere people don't go. The reservoir that you and Yoishi went to should be fine.》

But, even after everything that had happened, I was still against it.

"Do I really have to do that?"

《I sort of understand how you feel. But that's the root of everything.》

"Why is that? What is that child—"

《In all likelihood, a myriad of floating entities are stuck to that notebook.》

With those words, I felt various scattered things rapidly merging together.

《I told you before that ghosts who have lost their purpose seek meaning, didn't I? I don't know who wrote the words on the wall. But it’s very likely that all of this is happening because those two sentences formed meaning as Kotodama.》

— I see. So that's how it was.

That's why Yoishi was trying to throw that away.

And Krishna-san said the words were bad.

But…

But, I was struggling to swallow the word "No", that was just at the tip of my tongue.

He was, me. He was just suffering. He just wanted help. He just wanted to get out of the hospital, and play and jump around and laugh like everyone else.

《Nagi-kun, listen to me. That kid's already dead.》Krishna-san whispered.

《He's not in this world anymore. As long as you feel sorry for the boy, you're never going to get rid of the hauntings that befall you.》

I…

I....

I—

I was about to say something back, when I noticed. I slowly opened my trembling left hand. The trembling of my ring finger was even more intense than the middle finger.

"Um, Krishna-san."

I spoke to the other end of the phone with a trembling voice.

"Um, my ring finger is trembling really hard, too."

《— Huh?》

"Is this…?"

I spoke that much, when the cell phone became filled with static.

Suddenly, I could hear a gurgling sound that sounded like air bubbles floating on the surface of water.

"Huh...? Hello?"

《H... hello...?》

I could hear Krishna-san's voice from somewhere far away. But it was no longer a conversation.

There was static, then the sound of bubbles. And mixed in with that, I heard a low voice. Countless human voices overlapped each other—

《Don't listen!》

Krishna-san suddenly shouted.

"D- don't listen? Then what should I do?"

And then the phone abruptly cut off.

"K- Krishna-san?"

I tried redialing a number of times, but the phone never connected.