Editing Talk:Kokoro Connect:Volume 4 Chapter 3

Instead of "landmine" (which does kind of work, "It was a landmine topic that Joan brought up", as it means that it's a dangerous to talk about. "Minefield" would also work,) how about "taboo"? This makes it more generally an undesirable topic to talk about.


Instead of "Truth be told, Aoki knew a single strawberry was probably just a result of a margin of error."

How about: "Truth be told, Aoki knew a single strawberry was probably just a added on a whim"?


I kind of want to change:

"By the way, from my standpoint, I can't pretend I didn't see this you know."

to "By the way, as a woman, I can't pretend that I didn't see this you know."
or even "By the way, I can't just pretend that I didn't see this you know."


"Standpoint" sounds a bit too formal, like it's a lawyer defending their client's "standpoint". 
By the way, I don't think saying "that" makes it too formal O.o.



Also, I don't really know what Aoki's "defining trait" is O.o. Is it his ability to poke fun at people? And because Inaba shut him up so quickly made him feel endangered?

[[User:Pikon|Pikon]] ([[User talk:Pikon|talk]]) 16:32, 16 October 2012 (CDT)



----



Regarding landmine:
If landmine sounds fine then I'll trust your opinion to that xD
I think 'taboo' sounds a little too extreme as it ventures into the 'hot-button issue' category.



Regarding 'one a whim':
Hmm, while the original text meant to say 'it was probably just an accident/happened by chance',
I think the idea of 'on a whim' sounds close enough. 


Regarding standpoint:
I used standpoint a lot in my own speech, but I'm an oddball so my opinion wouldn't matter here.
I only used standpoint here because Inaba said something along the lines of 'In her position/as herself'.
Normally I would agree with your first proposal, but 'as a woman' seemed too specific for this case. She was being vague and sorta just hinting it to Yui, who obviously got what she meant right away. This flow is further supported by Aoki's observation and statement afterwards where he pointed out Inaba's message back at her.
As for the third proposal... Er... I don't know, it seems confusing for me.

About the 'that', I don't know how to put it. It just seems too wordy for me in conversations. People tend to skip 'that' in those kinds of statement especially when it involves people as subject/object. I've checked a few literature on my shelf to confirm it. Maybe it's a regional/slang thing. However, I'm not going to argue about that any more, and I'll leave it to you guys. I see no reason in me obsessing myself over trivial details like that xD 


Regarding Aoki's 'defining trait',
As shown in his inner comment towards Inaba "So aboveboard!" That was supposed to be his defining trait, as mentioned earlier that "He had nothing to hide (He believed that this was his selling point.)"


——[[User:Lantern|Lantern]] - [[User_talk:Lantern|Talk]] -  22:02, 16 October 2012 (CDT)



----



I have a new question. Would 'Spring awake' >>> 'Sprung awake' a valid expression to describe how Aoki awoke on his bed?


——[[User:Lantern|Lantern]] - [[User_talk:Lantern|Talk]] -  23:00, 16 October 2012 (CDT)

----


A quick answer. I would say "he sprung awake" would sound grammatically correct, but in my opinion, it always sounds a bit easier and safer to just say "he suddenly awoke".


—[[User:Pikon|Pikon]] ([[User talk:Pikon|talk]]) 18:57, 16 October 2012 (CDT)

----


Back after a looong while, sorry about that, but let's get down to business.



"Is it to stimulate the supposedly cool type yet currently not acting as one that is Inaba-chan?"




Right now it can be strangely interpreted as Aoki means that Iori is trying to appeal to the cool Inaba, but I don't really think that's the kind of thing he wanted to say.

But if it was, then it could be written as:  

"Is it to appeal to the supposedly cool member of the CRC, but currently inactive, Inaba-chan?"




The next interpretation, that is probably more likely, is that Aoki is trying to make a joke saying that Iori is trying to usurp and take over the 'cool girl' image that is Inaba, which means that I would want to say:

"Is it to usurp the 'cool girl' image from the current holder Inaba-chan?"




Another point is, you use 'Utmost' quite a lot you know. Aoki says 'Utmost disgusting', but then Setouchi also says 'Utmost terrible'. Is it alright to use another word? Since it's kind of a big coincidence if they both use such an uncommon word.

----
Welcome back. Good to see you again (Honestly I'm not doing much better in terms of progress either x_X)



That first question you raised, is one of those lines that drives me up the wall when I was trying to translate it. The original line is a very vague sentence to begin with. The way I interpreted it, is that Aoki was trying to ask if Iori was trying to act as the 'cool/icy smart' archetype character among the club members to 'stimulate' / 'provoke' / 'nudge' (in order to wake) the original 'cool smart' person aka Inaba, who had been (implied) in her 'girl in love' mode and hence sort of lost her 'coolness.' It's kinda of a nerdy characterization concept, and I find it ridiculous to translate smoothly. Feel free to attempt a different version, I'll discuss/adjust accordingly.




The second question, about utmost, it was mostly because they both coincidently saying　"最低最悪 (The worst and the most terrible/disgusting/despicable)," so I translated Aoki's into 'disgusting' as he was describing the phenomena, and Setouchi's into 'terrible' as she was describing a person aka Iori. Now to answer your question, after a bit of thought, I'd like to keep the one in Aoki's line when he answered <Heartseed>. As for Setouchi, feel free to change it. She's basically just trying to berate Iori as the worst of the worst type of people. Anything that gives that impression will do.

—[[User:Lantern|Lantern]] ([[User talk:Lantern|talk]]) 21:22, 31 October 2012 (CDT)
----