Editing Talk:Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance:Volume2 Chapter2

For the part that goes "Ellis thrust her sword at the back of kamito's neck" it doesn't seem to correspond with the picture. Should it be changed to the side of his neck or under his chin?

== Unnecessary words ==

 
There are a lot of sentences, that have words, that are redundant. They don't hold any information neither do they make the sentence sound better, they are just there. For example 'This place was a salon café that was inside the academy'. Readers already know that salon cafe is a place, there is no need to actually spell it. The words 'that was' are also unnecessary, they make the proposition too cumbersome. Wouldn't something like 'This was a salon café inside the academy' or 'They were at a salon cafe inside the academy' sound better?

== The order of words ==

Or rather parts of a sentence. For example 'The three of them were sitting and having a slightly late lunch at a round table near a window'. It's is not difficult to understend what is written, but... let's call it, the conection between words is gone. We know that the tree of them were sitting at a table and having a lunch there so the it should sound like 'The three of them were sitting at a round table near a window and having a slightly late lunch'. I think there was a rule about this kind of stuff, but can't remember it.
Anyway, does anyone else thinks it sounds smoother this way.

== Tautology ==

Claire over-'''''relied''''' on her strength and chased her opponents too far and Kamito too could not '''''rely'''''

'She betrayed the Elemental Lord, disappeared, and brought about an unprecedented great '''''calamity''''' to the empire- The '''''Calamity''''' Queen'

'''''Kamito''''' nodded and '''''there'''''-
"Ah, everyone, having lunch?"
A cool but elegant voice was heard.
'''''Kamito''''' turned around. And '''''there'''''—