Editing Talk:Shakugan no Shana:Volume3 Summary

If any editor awares of this, please fix these errors:

"... as the boy's mother says that she must not let herselft get kissed so simply and if her son [[tryes]] something, just punch him in the face." -> "tries"

"Now changing to a defensive posture, Yuji [[tryes]] to explains it but accidentaly leaks out the jealousy that he felt after seeing her with another guy." -> "tries"

"Surprised by how he noticed it and felt the same [[than her]] after see him with Kazumi ..." -> "... way she did ..." Maybe, I don't think my correction would fit the best here though.

"These two young boys were in the same class [[than]] Shana and Yuji ..." -> "with"

"... he still didn't understand them completely, taking this as a joke, Chigusa [[agreeds]]." -> "agreed"

"... Shana realizes that the meaning of all the feelings that she got before, in an extreme pain on [[his]] chest for the [[preocupation]] of losing after this girl." -> "her", "preoccupation"

I hope that some minor errors I spotted was everything that flaw this great summary version of the book :)

-Some random reader-

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Ufffff... though I would like to say that it was everything, sadly it wasn't. I don't have time tonight so I just went though and corrected the obvious spelling mistakes, but the sentence structure is quite messed up and it's hard to understand what the pronouns are referring to at times. There's too much liberal use of jargon and so it almost seems to me like you have to have watched the anime to be able to understand this summary. Also, just my opinion, but this seems like a bit too detailed for a summary for a volume. 

That said, I think this page should be unlocked... --[[User:Jonathanasdf|jonathanasdf]] 03:25, 10 April 2011 (UCT)

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The first time reading the summary, I was just skimming through the page. Now after I have had a good detail look at it, I have to agree with you. At some points the summary gives a feeling that it is a spoken piece of summary which your friend is telling you. It feels like the summary takes common understandings about SnS was a given that it becomes too detailed here but not giving enough information there. Require a re-write I think. After all, summarize a novel is not an easy thing...

P.S: Although I did point out some obvious mistakes, my English skill is not that good (in fact, I'm struggling to make my point clear to you now, I just hate written English). So please pardon me for any grammar failure m(_ _)m

-Some random reader-

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Yes, summarizing a novel is definitely not an easy thing to do, even more so if it is a summary in a different language! So it's definitely a good attempt. And regarding the jargon, well, it is alright if it assumes all of the common knowledge that the reader should have gained from the previous volumes, but it should be consistent in what it assumes. If you assume the reader knows that Shana is the Flame-Haired Blazing-Eyed Hunter then you should also assume that the reader knows what a torch is. If you assume that the reader doesn't know what a Crimson Denizen is, then you shouldn't assume the reader knows what the Harigan is. It is this inconsistency that I find problematic.

At this point in time I've gone through a heavy edit of the first half, so hopefully it should read smoother now and be less ambiguous. I've tried to avoid changing meaning as much as possible since I haven't read the volume and so I don't know how different it is from the anime. --[[User:Jonathanasdf|jonathanasdf]] 05:07, 12 April 2011 (UCT)

If you guys wants to re-write it no problem, my english isn't good enough to give a "complete" resume of everything in the novel, and as at the time I did this summary I was just writting event by event, there isn't actually a good connection. So I offer you my apologizes if you got a hard time reading this. Once again, english isn't my natal languange and even if I'd like to say that I complete know it, there is always a part that gets skipped over and that's what I'm trying to improve. Once again, thanks for the comments and for spending time at reading this.

[[User:SkyFlames07|SkyFlames07]]