Editing Talk:Sword Art Online:Aria Part 16 to 20

I've noticed that there are some moves, etc in this page (around the 18th part) where a ''name translation'' «followed by Japanese name» are written. If this is a furigana instance then the [[Template:Furigana|furigana template]] should be used. If not then the meaning should be in a reference (use ref tag) not the text itself. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 15:36, 22 April 2012 (CDT)

It's not furigana. I could leave out the ''name translation'' part since they were the same, but I thought people might want to know the meaning of the attack name. I ignored stuff like ''sword''«sword», but not skill names. --[[User:Pryun|Pryun]] - [[User_talk:Pryun|Talk]] 20:28, 22 April 2012 (CDT)

Meanings should be as reference notes. Unless they were specifically in ''this''«format» in the original. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 02:34, 23 April 2012 (CDT)

They '''were''' in that format... only without the italicization, I did that so people would know that the bracketed was connected to the italicized. --[[User:Pryun|Pryun]] - [[User_talk:Pryun|Talk]] 03:32, 23 April 2012 (CDT)

In that case it's all right. Thanks for confirming. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 07:10, 23 April 2012 (CDT)

To explain my comment to the recent edit I made. Kirito wishes Asuna to beome more interested in VRMMOs because otherwise her suicidal streak will not end. In other words The lines ''If the bud was scattered before it bloomed, it would become absolutely unable to be fascinated by VRMMO games.'' refer to Asuna's situation more than Kirito's situation since he has no problem enjoying the sights and sounds of Aincrad, Kirito lives VRMMOs not just plays them and he wants Asuna to live and feel the same. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 08:59, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

:Go ahead and edit again... I just prefer if the meaning stays. Here, it is: If the bud(Asuna) was scattered(killed) before it bloomed(she becomes strong), it(Players such as kirito) would be absolutely unable(maybe impossible is better here.) to be fascinated by VRMMO games.----[[User:Pryun|Pryun]] - [[User_talk:Pryun|Talk]] 09:12, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

The words ''Absolutely unable'' are the main reason. They suggest that someone is already unable but if a certain event occurs then even the smallest glimmer of hope would be gone. Since Kirito has no problems with the game itself (except being unable to logout) and Asuna being the one here in need of a reason here, I'm afraid I can't concur that the line refers to Kirito at all. I'm afraid that the way it is said you are making a mistake. Plus "it" is a singular word (ie: it refers to a singular existence). I repeat Kirito wants to live the MMO and return home, but Asuna is on a suicidal path. Kirito is trying to save ''her'' by making her want to live by showing her that the MMO has many things she would end up liking (remember the whole milk and bread thing a few parts back, also him trying to tempt her to live just so that she can taste it again). Ah! I know! Can you romanize the original sentence (ie: give the japanese sentence to me in romaji) or even write it as is (with hiragana/katagana/kanji the way they are, there are romanization programs/websites I can use to understand the sounds of the words, then I can understand them)? If I had the original I could get a better understanding of what exactly is being said. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 10:37, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

:''If the bud(Asuna) was scattered(killed) before it bloomed(she becomes strong), it(Players such as kirito) would be absolutely unable(maybe impossible is better here.) to be fascinated by VRMMO games.'' Hmm, the later part sort of means: ''it would be unforgiveable for someone fascinated by VRMMO games.'' And I think this line is a bit strange:
:If the boss is surrounded from the back it will use an omni-directional attack. ''I can say so because the guys in front have to receive the trajectory of the attack. Don't try to counter any sword skill with force. If you observe it properly, with a weapon and a shield you can avoid large damage!''
:The parts in italics I mean. Probably should be something like: ''I will call out the trajectory of the attack skill, so the guys in the front have to receive it! You don't have to unreasonably try to cancel it with sword skill, properly blocking with a weapon or a shield then you can avoid large damage!'' [[User:Xplorer30|Xplorer30]] - [[User_talk:Xplorer30|Talk]] 15:02, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

This changes the meaning slightly, but what about: '' I will call out the trajectory of the attack skill so that you guys in the front know what to expect! You don't need to try to cancel it with sword skills. If you properly block with a weapon or shield, then you can avoid large damage!'' -[[User:Milki|milki]] 17:09, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

:Sounds like Kirito is trying to provoke the Kobold Lord. Rather than using the words "Call out" it would be more understandable English-wise if you say ''I'll provoke him so it targets me with it's attack skill, the guys in the front have to receive it! Don't try to unreasonably cancel it with your sword skills, if you properly block with a weapon or a shield then you can avoid large damage!'' you can replace the ''its'' with ''he'' for the Kobold Lord. If you don't like the provoking thing then we can choose something else. But the later parts should be left as is. Otherwise it would become grammatically problematic. I mean the suggestion: ''You don't need to try to cancel it with sword skills. If you properly block with a weapon or shield, then you can avoid large damage!'' See, it sound slightly wrong and longer than necessary if you voice it out loud. But that's besides the point! It's better if you put the original text here in romaji first. Otherwise the rest of us are guessing blind. And that's not very nice! So I suggest that we first give the original in romaji then give a suggestion. Anyways can somebody give the original lines I requested in my last post? I want to make sure cause otherwise maybe I could be wrong. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 17:44, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

Umm, Kirito is going to stay back and heal, so he will give directions to the people at front about how to block the Kobold Lord's attack skills. As for that line you wanted, here:
:それが花咲く前に蕾のまま散らされてしまうことは、ＶＲＭＭＯゲームに魅せられた者としてどうしても容認できない。[[User:Xplorer30|Xplorer30]] - [[User_talk:Xplorer30|Talk]] 18:26, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

Hmm, I missed part of Zero2001's post. Do everyone really want to read the jp raw? If you can do that, help translate instead. But here is the line that I suggested for improvement:
:「ボスを後ろまで囲むと全方位攻撃がくるぞ！技の軌道は俺が言うから、正面のやつが受けてくれ！無理にソードスキルで相殺しなくても、盾や武器できっちり守れば大ダメージは食わない！」
By the way, since I am retired from direct SAO proofreader job, all I am doing as a reader is suggestions. [[User:Xplorer30|Xplorer30]] - [[User_talk:Xplorer30|Talk]] 18:54, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

@Xplorer30's comment: Yes, you're right. Gimme a couple of minutes or so to change it, thanks for your "suggestion" ^^. ----[[User:Pryun|Pryun]] - [[User_talk:Pryun|Talk]] 19:37, 24 April 2012 (CDT)

:First one's Romaji: ''Sore ga hanasaku mae ni tsubomi no mama chirasa rete shimau koto wa, VRMMO gēmu ni mise rareta mono to shite dōshitemo yōnin dekinai.'' It seems like you were right to a certain extent. I appologise. However I can suggest an improvement: ''For a bud(Asuna) to be scattered(killed) before it blooms(she becomes strong), is absolutely unacceptable for anyone fanscinated by VRMMO games(Kirito and others).'' What do you think? It is more closer to what is being said, no? And it reatains the meaning of what you said. Once again I apologise. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 04:15, 25 April 2012 (CDT)

:Second one's Romaji: ''「Bosu o ushiro made kakomu to zen hōi kōgeki ga kuru zo! Waza no kidō wa ore ga iukara, shōmen no yatsu ga ukete kure! Muri ni sōdosukiru de sōsai shinakute mo, tate ya buki de kitchiri mamoreba ō Damēji wa kuwanai!」 My suggestion is: ''If the boss is surrounded from the back it will use an omni-directional attack. I'll provoke the activation of its attack skill, so the guys in the front have to receive it! You don't have to force yourselves to unreasonably try and cancel it with sword skills, if you block it properly with a weapon or a shield then you can avoid large damage!'' This is the best I can suggest. Any feedback? [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 04:15, 25 April 2012 (CDT)

:The reason I can't translate is because I need to first convert the writing to romaji and then I can only understand it around 60% of the time (I am self taught). The novels I can get on the web are in picture format so running it through a romanjifier is no good. I can use Capture2Text OCR program to extract the Japanese text but that doesn't work so good for long lines. Sorry my japanese isn't that good. However my English is A+. That's why I can only edit and suggest. Luckily the above ones were easy, plus there were already suggestions that I could draw upon for aid in understanding. Sorry. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 04:15, 25 April 2012 (CDT)

Go ahead and implement the first one, since the meaning is retained, which is all I'm after. BTW, my knowledge of JP is probably not much better than yours... --[[User:Pryun|Pryun]] - [[User_talk:Pryun|Talk]] 05:16, 25 April 2012 (CDT)

:Thanks. Next time I'll be sure to ask for the Japanese version first. That way something like this will have a much lesser chance of happening again. I thank you for explaining it to me. So... about the second one... I would like some feedback on the minor adjustments I made. The use of the word ''kido'' could mean ''activate'' which is what Kirito seems to be saying, that he'll ''provoke the activation of the skill''. And also ''Muri ni sōdosukiru de sōsai shinakute mo'' can be translated to ''You don't have to force yourselves to unreasonably try and cancel it with sword skill'' or ''Even if you don't force yourself to unreasonably try and cancel it with sword skills''. I'd like some thoughts on this. ''Muri'' here in this line can mean ''forcing oneself to'' so I thought these two lines would be best suited here. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] - 09:38, 25 April 2012 (CDT)

... '''this''' kido(軌道) refers to trajectory.Muri(無理) here means unreasonable, impossible, or Overdone.--[[User:Pryun|Pryun]] - [[User_talk:Pryun|Talk]] 10:07, 25 April 2012 (CDT)

I see... then can the words "draw his fire" be good in this instance, it's an English figure of speech that fits the situation perfectly. However, 無理(Muri) translates to ''unreasonable'', ''impossible'', ''force'' and ''forcibly'' (I cross-checked with google translate) so my suggestion can be used partially at least, ''You don't have to force yourselves to unreasonably try and cancel it with sword skill'' or ''Even if you don't force yourself to unreasonably try and cancel it with sword skills'' can be used. [[User:Zero2001|Zero2001]] - [[User_talk:Zero2001|Talk]] -  18:15, 25 April 2012 (CDT)