Talk:Date A Live:Volume 3 Chapter 4: Difference between revisions
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Created page with "this part: The moment his brain understood the scene before him, the pungent stenches in his surroundings assaulted his nostrils, Shidou involuntarily felt an urge to vomit. ..." |
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The moment his brain understood the scene before him, the pungent stenches in his surroundings assaulted his nostrils, Shidou involuntarily felt an urge to vomit. In order to resist his heavy lunch from refluxing from his stomach. | |||
"......Uuu......" | "......Uuu......" | ||
the first time i read it i didnt really notice it meant that he vomited. The last sentence is worded really oddly, and it sounded like he prevented himself from vomiting too. Suggesting rewording for this part as well as coming up with a different sound to show that he vomited instead of "Uuu." | the first time i read it i didnt really notice it meant that he vomited. The last sentence is worded really oddly, and it sounded like he prevented himself from vomiting too. Suggesting rewording for this part as well as coming up with a different sound to show that he vomited instead of "Uuu." | ||
Latest revision as of 05:05, 28 November 2012
this part: The moment his brain understood the scene before him, the pungent stenches in his surroundings assaulted his nostrils, Shidou involuntarily felt an urge to vomit. In order to resist his heavy lunch from refluxing from his stomach.
"......Uuu......"
the first time i read it i didnt really notice it meant that he vomited. The last sentence is worded really oddly, and it sounded like he prevented himself from vomiting too. Suggesting rewording for this part as well as coming up with a different sound to show that he vomited instead of "Uuu."