Talk:Campione!:Volume 7 Chapter1
@Kira
Modified
meter vs metre: To me, the spelling of the metric measurement as "meter" is a complete and utter abomination, which unnecessarily conflates unrelated terms (e.g. parking meters). I'd rather write numerical digits and use the abbreviation instead.
"feet resting": I don't know, "feet resting" conjures an image of someone sitting back with their feet up on some foot rest... Changed.
"right on time": sounds like being punctual, which implies a schedule (which there is none).
"surpassed from far": please try not to introduce new typos/errors. Besides, "far surpassed" is less wordy and equally correct in grammar as "surpass ___ by far." As a side note, the original sentence doesn't have the words "as a Campione" but it makes better sense to add the qualification, since he also met Verethragna. Anyway, I'm taking it out on further thought.
"on which Godou and the rest were standing on": there's already a preposition present in "standing on" so "on which" would be redundant. You can argue whether "which" or "that" is better, though they are equivalent.
"the privilege of the young ones": two instances of "the" just sounds redundant, besides, the second "the" isn't necessary for grammatical correctness.
"snatch victory from me at such cost": "snatch at cost" doesn't work. Besides, the side effects of the Raptor are more like a price than a cost -- Godou's isn't losing anything in exchange (it doesn't cost him anything), but he pays the price of pain.
"which plunged her into a deep thought": just a single thought? It's best not to make assumptions like that.
"then the best to do": missing a noun. You could go with "then the best thing to do" but I don't see a problem with "it would be best" which is less wordy.
"but Luo Hao's were far sharper than his": wrong. The adjective "sharp" applies to "Luo Hao", meaning her skills and abilities in general. In other words, Godou just had good instincts, but Luo Hao is far more observant overall.
"read those concerns as she reproached": it's better to sequence it -- reproaching after reading his mind rather than "as", i.e. at the same time.
"skillfully caught Godou's neck and lifted him, as Godou found his body rising continuously": since "rising" has to occur AFTER Godou's neck is caught, "as" again, does not express sequence adequately.
Open to Discussion
"the Nikkou Toushouguu": adding the article "the" doesn't really sound correct, to me, it'd be like changing "Canada's Wonderland" to "the Canada's Wonderland."