Talk:The Longing Of Shiina Ryo:Volume2 Chapter 3: Rin

questionable lines. comments later.

EP

(maybe you could add a footnote as to what this stands for?)

The files got really heavy on the CPU and to export them the first time for the EP was hell,

(export them for the EP. are u sure this is right? not to or from?)

maybe we couldn’t post stems of it so it could ever be reworked it in the future

(ever --> never ???)

loop pedal

(maybe loop station? this guy has a loop station[[1]]BTW he's awesome.)

“This band will be over as of the end of Ars Finita.”

(i didn't get this at all. what is ars finita?)

“Surely you heard correctly, Shin-tsu.” She spoke in monotone.

(is the second sentence just a general statement or smth like "she said monotonously"?)

We all took music and ourselves too seriously to let it slide to the status of a hobby but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, which would be already hard considering the kind of music we played.

(but had enough going on in our personal lives to make a career out of it, --> but had so much going on in our personal lives that we couldn't make a career out of it. Is this what you meant?)

How can I let the only thing I truly believed wouldn’t end on me simply vanish like this?”

(is "on me" really necessary?)

Then I met Shiina Ryo and a big, loud argument began as a prelude to the wicked happenings that were to come.

(as an option - that were yet/about to come)

An outside as empty as one could be inside.

(what does this mean? could you rephrase it pls?)

I’m much weaker and I was found wanting to begin with.

(wanting what?)

Why on Earth would you people consider wasting it or being okay with passing through those few years ling like a dog, I have no idea.

(what in the world is ling?)

Shugoshin bit his inferior lip,

(what is an inferior lip? maybe lower lip?)

I had become, for all effects of the term, a cheating backstabber.

(in all senses of the word. sounds better imho...)

--Idiffer 15:34, 8 May 2012 (CDT)