The Circumstances Leading to Waltraute's Marriage:Volume1 Chapter 4

Status: Incomplete

A.E. 01: This is No Time to be Getting Excited about Swimsuits

Part 1

As usual, Waltraute was stationed on the third runway of Bifröst.

The goddess of marriage Frigg, the goddess of beauty Freyja, and the other Valkryies were also sitting there, so the third runway had undergone a job change from transportation facility to party hall. Heimdallr the watchman had completely given up. He had switched his thought process over to concentrating all of the disasters to the third runway so that the other runways could run smoothly.

On this day, a new goddess arrived at the third runway.

It was the fertility goddess Iðunn who grew the apples of immortality.

Iðunn had a bandanna wrapped around her head and wore a waitress-like outfit made from simple country-style clothes. (And she had the extremely huge breasts one would expect of a fertility goddess.) She held a large basket filled with apples and she spoke up hesitantly.

“Um, it is just about apple season.”

“Oh, is it that time already?”

Waltraute took an apple of immortality out of the basket held out towards her. The red fruit almost looked transparent as if it was a ruby or something similar, but when its skin was peeled, it contained juicy white fruit. The fruits of the gods were quite strange.

It was not due to an intrinsic physical characteristic that the gods did not age; it was due to these apples.

The goddess Iðunn was the only one able to grow them, so the heavenly world of Asgard had turned into an extremely aged society filled with old men and women when the evil god Loki had kidnapped her.

As long as they ate the apples in accordance to a set cycle, the gods would never age.

However, the concept of age did not disappear entirely.

“Um, Lady Frigg? Why have you been frozen in place staring at the apples?”

“Uuh!? N-no reason at all. Ho ho ho. It is just that I am a bit full right now.”

The goddess of marriage Frigg let out a dry laugh, but the goddess of beauty Freyja grinned and spoke up.

“Lady Frigg, how many have you eaten this year in total? How many apples?”

“Kh!!”

“Well, it is similar to the number of candles on a birthday cake. Even if nothing changes visual, it still bothers you.”

“My actual age is not that much different from yours!! The only a difference is at what stage we maintain our apparent age!!”

(What are they doing?)

Waltraute watched the two argue with a shocked look.

If the number of apples eaten could change their age, it would be easy to manipulate the order of the nine Valkyries.

Waltraute bit into an apple of immortality without bothering to peel it.

Iðunn’s cultivation ability was apparent in how Waltraute felt like she was eating sherbet. The fruit had enough moisture to carry one around in lieu of a water bottle and the slight sourness at the center of the sweetness was wonderful. To put it simply, the apple was delicious.

(I need to avoid entering into a cultivation-related competition with her.)

As Waltraute was focused on competitions as usual, Iðunn spoke to her.

“Um…”

“What?”

“What about that boy?”

“?”

“The apples. These apples. The apples of immortality.” The fertility goddess Iðunn shook the basket she held in both hands. “The general rule is to not bring them to Midgard, but that boy is your husband so he could be considered to be part of Asgard. So should I bring him an apple of immortality?”

“Hm. So that is what you meant.”

“The human lifespan is supposed to be only 100 years. He will be a wrinkled old man in no time at all. If you are going to give him an apple of immortality, I think you should do so as soon as possible.”

“Hmm. But…” Waltraute munched on her apple. “Is it really okay to give immortality to a soul from Midgard? If the boy is made immortal, won’t he be treated as an outsider by human society?”

“That is a difficult theme.”

“And if he is given an apple of immortality at this stage, his physical body will stop where it is. It is just… I am not sure I should decide for him to take away the possibility of growth.”

Freyja had gotten tired of making fun of Frigg, so she cut in.

“Ha hahhn!! So you want to let that boy grow into the ideal young man and then feed him apples of immortality forever to lock him in place there!? A surprisingly good idea coming from you!!”

“Keep your delusions to yourself, you fool!!”

“But younger is always better. Giving him an apple of immortality once he is an old man does no one any good. They say what’s inside is what counts, but when it’s the same person inside either way, why would you choose the old one?”

Each of those words just so happened to stab into Frigg, but since it was Freyja, that was likely intentional.

Iðunn seemed to agree with that.

“Um, humans and gods see time differently, so you should probably make up your mind quickly. It is possible his hair will have gone gray before you know it.”

While munching on her apple of immortality, Waltraute said, “Argh, you fools!! This is not something to be decided only by the gods! What matters most is what that boy thinks about it!!”

“Yeah, but if you put an apple of immortality in front of a mortal human and ask him what he will do, the internal conflict might break his mind.”

“Um, I would be more afraid of other people seeing it and beginning to kill each other for it.”

Waltraute had eaten her apple down to the core, so she reached for a second from Iðunn’s basket.

“But that boy’s life belongs to him! Manipulating it for our own benefit sounds like something that one-eyed bearded old man would do! I do not like it!!”

Munch munch.

“Enough of that. It comes down to a single issue: young and lively or old and wrinkly!? Which will it be? Young and lively? Old and wrinkly!?”

“Um, come to think of it, what is the ideal level in your eyes, Lady Waltraute? A little boy, an underclassman, a classmate, an upperclassman, or a gentleman?”

“Wh-what are you even talking about, you fools!? I am trying to talk about the weight of a human’s life!!”

Munch munch munch munch!

“It’s little boys. She’s definitely into little boys.”

“Yes, she does have the look about her.”

“Do not decide that on your own!! And what do you mean by ‘the look’!?”

Munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch!!

“No, wait, Waltraute.”

“Um, the number of apples of immortality you eat is a complex calculation.”

“Do not decide what people’s tastes are based on how they look. In fact, physical appearance means nothing to me. I never said he needed to look like that. It is just that the boy who won my hand in marriage in a competition happened to be that age!!”

Munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch!!

“Waltraute!! Wait a second! Stop, stop!!

“Wahh! If you eat that many…!”

“Munch munch!! Munch munch chomp chomp munch munch!! …Hm? Huh!? Wait. How many apples of immortality have I eaten!?”

The change came quickly.

As stated before, Asgard had turned into an extremely aged society filled with old men and women when the evil god Loki had kidnapped the fertility goddess Iðunn. So how had they returned to their youthful appearances afterwards?

The answer was simple: They had eaten a ton of the apples of immortality.

And so…

“W-w-waaaahhhhhhhhhh!?”

Waltraute shouted out as her body was wrapped in white light.

The flash of light continued for a short period.

Finally, the light disappeared. And what it left behind was…

Waltraute with the appearance of a 10 year old.

That is what became of that invincible older sister type.

Freyja twisted her face into a grimace and clicked her tongue.

“Damn you!! Did you feel you needed more going for you to overcome my popularity!?”

“I did not do this because I wanted to, you fool!! And what exactly happened? My body has shrunk and my armor is slipping off. Don’t tell this is permanent!”

As Waltraute panicked, Frigg began grabbing as many apples as she could with a determined look on her face.

But then Iðunn replied, “Um, your most stable physical age does not change. Most of the time, it is your age upon first eating the apples. At any rate, any forced change to your apparent age should only be temporary.”

Frigg had been frantically trying to gather apples, but she now stiffened with despair. However, no one was looking in her direction.

Waltraute patted at her small body.

“I-I see. So I will return to normal after some time passes. …Good.”

“Oh, I thought it was a desperate attempt to boost sales,” commented Freyja.

“You have been doing nothing but mocking me. Do I need to teach you a lesson with this Spear of Destroying Lightning?”

“Fwa ha ha ha!! Waltraute’s small body – ha ha – won’t be able to produce enough power to do anythi-…ngyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!?”

Freyja just barely managed to void the giant beam produced. It seemed she had a fair amount of combat skill herself.

“Oh, c’mon. If you’re gonna burn my skin, keep it to candles!! When you go beyond a brand, there is nothing erotic about it!!”

Meanwhile, the small Waltraute said, “Huh? Why did that fly out just now?”

“Um, your body may have shrunk, but your soul is the same. You do not have as great an ability to control the output of the energy, so explosions may be more likely to occur.”

“I see. And the initial velocity may have been even higher than usual.”

“It’s more powerful and she can’t control it? She’s basically unexploded ordnance now…”

“I will return to normal given some time, so there is no problem. …As long as a certain someone does not anger me during that time.”

After the small Waltraute gave that warning, the two crows Huginn and Muninn arrived.

“Huh? We have a message for Lady Waltraute.”

“Wait! Did she finally make the shift over to a more niche character type!?”

One of the ravens made that comment as if he(?) was not afraid of the gods, but the other raven made another comment before Waltraute could reply.

“We found another letter on the weather vane of the boy’s house.”

“I see.”

As Waltraute lived in the heavenly world of Asgard and the boy lived in the human world of Midgard, they could not contact each other easily. And so they used letters to keep in touch.

The raven must have used its beak to untie the letter from the weather vane and then retie it to its leg. The small Waltraute took the letter that had been tied to Muninn’s leg.

It said the following in messy handwriting:

“Let’s play!”

“…!! Honestly, that boy never learns. How many times do I need to tell him I will only accept these ridiculous requests if he defeats me in a competition!?”

“You say that, but you’re already cheerfully climbing aboard your white horse.”

“Because I must lecture him! And if he defeats me in a competition, I must consider it!!”

“Um,” cut in the apple fertility goddess Iðunn. “Come to think of it, I occasionally hear about you going to play or on a date, but have you actually had a honeymoon yet, Lady Waltraute?”

“We do not need anything so formal. …Also, from a mythological and cultural standpoint, I do not think Midgard has the concept of a honeymoo-…”

Before the small Waltraute could finish, life returned to the depressed goddess of marriage Frigg.

“This cannot stand, Waltraute!!”

“Ee!?”

“A peaceful household must be built atop a proper foundation!! You cannot grow lazy just because you have gotten married. Marriage is not the goal; it is a new starting line!!”

Frigg’s bloodshot eyes made it clear she was dissatisfied with her own marriage. She spoke with such intensity that even the small Waltraute was pushed back.

“B-but… I have travelled between the nine worlds as a Valkyrie and the boy has already visited other worlds on multiple occasions. I cannot think of anywhere we could go that would be impressive enough for-…”

“You fool!!!!! It doesn’t matter where! Just go somewhere!!”

“I cannot accept such an unreasonable demand even from you, Lady Frigg! If you insist on it, then you must defeat me in a competition!!”

“A tongue twister competition then!! Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!!”

“Peter Piper picked a pye…ow!!”

It was over almost immediately.

The small Waltraute held her bit tongue with tears in her eyes and Freyja spoke up with a bored look.

“It’s pretty hot today, so why don’t you go swimming? Come to think of it, there has been a severe lack of exposed skin for a love comedy.”

“Mhh,” groaned the small Waltraute, but she had lost the competition.

She used the power of the Bifröst runway to break her existence apart and descended to Midgard while drawing an unnatural aurora through the sky.

“But,” said the goddess of beauty Freyja lazily. “The first challenge will be whether he recognizes Waltraute in that tiny form.”

Part 2

And…

“Who are you!?”

The boy’s eyes opened wide when he saw the Valkyrie with a 10-year-old appearance riding the giant white horse.

The blonde-haired, blue-eyed Valkyrie shook her small hands around and said, “I am Waltraute of course!! How can you not know that, you fool!?”

“No way!! Waltraute is more beautiful, more gallant, cooler, cuter, smarter looking, and stronger looking!! She has silky hair, smooth skin, and sparkling eyes!!”

“I-is that so? I suppose I cannot feel bad when you are complimenting me that much.”

“Why are you blushing when I compliment her?”

The boy was suspicious, but then he realized something.

He recognized the round eyes of the white horse the small Waltraute was riding.

“That horsie is Waltraute’s…”

“Again: I am Waltraute!!”

“Hey, horsie. What is going on? Tell me what’s going on!?”

But even if it was from the heavenly world, a horse was still a horse.

It could not reply in human words even if it was asked.

“I-I’ll give you a carrot, so tell me!”

An explosive reform came over the white horse’s frontal lobe and it began writing on the ground with its front hoof.

But the boy frowned.

“…I can’t read it.”

The white horse’s large form shook in shock, but the issue was not the horse’s handwriting. There was simply too much difference between the imperfect runes of the human world and the perfect runes of the heavenly world. For that reason, the horse’s runes were actually more accurate to the world’s standards.

“Sorry, horsie, but no carrot for you.”

“Oohhhh!? Do not suddenly start a rodeo, you fool!!”

The white horse tried to express its sorrow with its entire body and started throwing around the small Waltraute. The Valkyrie desperately grabbed at the reins.

That was when a goddess arrived in Midgard.

It was the goddess of beauty Freyja.

Instead of a horse, she rode a boar that was obviously much too large. It was over 4 meters tall.

“I knew this would happen. C’mon, Freyja here will explain it all for you, so you had better be thankful.”

When he heard that voice, the boy turned around and his shoulders jumped in shock.

“Th-th-this is…”

“Hmm? Oh, is my aura enough that I do not even need to introduce myself? Heh heh heh. That’s right, that’s right. I am Freyja, the goddess of beauty! My beauty is enough to win over anyone regardless of age or sex. Frankly, it scares me sometimes. My very existence is so bright it demonstrates my divinity!!”

“It’s a piggy!! It’s so huge!!”

“You’re focused on that!? Just so you know, a soul in the human world only has a 0.003% chance of seeing such great beauty over their entire lifetime!!”

The boy ignored Freyja’s shrill voice (and the small Waltraute breathed a secret sigh of relief but refused to let anyone else know), raised his hands, and charged into the side of the giant boar. He sank into the thick fur.

“The piggy is so warm.”

Meanwhile, the giant boar was writhing around as if to say “S-st-stop that. I-I’ll shout for help… Aaahhh!!”, but the boy showed no sign of noticing.

“Oh, this piggy has udders. Is it a girl?”

With the sound of something soft being squeezed, the giant boar began having NTR-related convulsions as it seemed to say, “Eee!! Ahhhn!! N-no! I already have Lady Freyja as my master…but…but…It’s flowing ouuuuutttttttttt!!”

Meanwhile, Freyja had grown quite angry over being completely ignored.

“This isn’t going to get anywhere at this rate!! I am going to explain everything, so focus on Freyja here!!”

“Wait!! The piggy has started looking for truffles, so don’t get in the way!!”

“So you’ve given into your hunger!?” shouted Freyja.

In reality, the giant boar was thinking “Pant, pant. I-I need to get that boy focused on something other than me…uuh… But no. I can’t hide my pleasure in working up a sweat for him!” However, no one else noticed that.

“At any rate, look at Freyja here!!”

“Why do you keep yelling?”

It was never going to end at that rate.

Plus, her entire identity as the goddess of beauty was at risk if a boy was more interested in a wild boar than her.

But once the boy did finally turn his focus towards Freyja for the first time since she had arrived, he covered his face with his hands.

“Wahh! You’re too bright! I can’t see!”

“Oh? Is Freyja so sexy I have to be censored during terrestrial broadcast? Wait just a second.”

She lowered the level of her divinity as the goddess of beauty and adjusted the clothing that had fallen out of place in various locations. After the rating had been lowered far enough, she continued.

“Well, boy? Can you see me now?”

“Hm, you definitely are a goddess, but you’re just a normal goddess. Waltraute is way more beautiful.”

“What!? You idiot! This is only the level of beauty that it is possible for your eyes to grasp! …And why do I have to lose to that battle-obsessed idiot of all people!? Just you watch, dammit. I’ll go full power. This is the transcendent and bewitching beauty of Freyja who stands at the top of the nine worlds!!”

“Wah! It’s so bright I can’t see anything!”

“The human world is real pain in the ass!!”

Freyja started tearing at her hair. She had gotten completely sidetracked and had forgotten all about the small Waltraute. It seemed the situation was not going to get anywhere, but then someone arrived to save the plot.

It was Brynhildr, the eldest of the nine Valkyrie sisters.

Just like the fourth sister Waltraute, the armored lady rode a giant white horse.

With no visible expression, she said, “I cannot stand to watch this any longer. I have no obligation to help, but I will explain everything. All of you just calm down.”

Part 3

“The gods of Asgard must periodically consume apples of immortality.”

“I see, I see.”

“The number eaten is meticulously calculated out to stop any aging. Eating an erroneous amount can temporarily give one a younger appearance.”

“Ohh…”

“And Waltraute ate too many of those apples.”

“Ehh!? Is Waltraute okay? Did she get a stomachache!?”

It took only 5 minutes to finish the explanation.

The small Waltraute and Freyja (who had put in a bit too much effort earlier) were both hanging their heads in shame.

“…What was all that effort even for?”

“I’m the goddess of beauty. Of course I’m going to get mad when it comes to beauty…grumble grumble.”

As Brynhildr sat atop her white horse, her expressionless eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at the boy. A thought appeared to have passed through her mind.

“It seems no matter the age, there will be humans who seek after Valkyries.”

“?”

“Seeing you reminds me of when I met the human Siegfried.”

The small Waltraute and the goddess of beauty Freyja looked even more puzzled than the boy did.

“(Wasn’t Siegfried an exceedingly muscular macho man? He was the hero who sliced the evil dragon Fáfnir in two using a single sword and then ate its heart.)”

“(She’s a reminiscing widow. She’s probably beautifying her memories like crazy.)”

It seemed Brynhildr had not heard their comments.

The boy patted the white horse on the neck.

“Are you married, Mrs. Brynhildr? I am too.”

“…I am.” A small and somehow bitter smile appeared on the Valkyrie’s lips. “Or technically, I used to be.”

“Then you’re my senior in this marriage thing!”

“Hm?”

“When I grow up, I’m going to be a mead maker. I wonder if I can support Waltraute properly like that.”

“…You can,” replied Brynhildr with the smile gone but with the edge to her tone also gone. “At the very least, you will be able to make a Valkyrie happier than some idiot who constantly charges into danger on a quest to be a hero can.”

Brynhildr seemed to be saying something nice, but…

“(The way she put that, you would think Siegfried had a heroic death on some reckless adventure, but didn’t he die because she got mad and used Gunnar and Guttorm to stab him in the back with a spear?)”

“(More beautification. She’s just going to keep doing it, so ignore her. She was made to sleep with a man she did not love and Siegfried was made to forget her in preparation for that. Their marriage had a lot of problems.)”

Those soap opera-esque parts were of course omitted as they could not let the boy hear them.

Part 4

It had all become a bit muddled due to Waltraute’s transformation, but the theme of this chapter was their honeymoon.

“What’s a honeymoon?”

“See? I told you it is not a standard part of Midgard culture, you fools!!”

The small Waltraute lamented that the boy did not understand even after an explanation and Freyja sat cross-legged on her giant boar (which left various parts quite visible).

Sounding disinterested, the goddess said, “The human world is just set as being a ‘medieval European fantasy world’, so don’t worry about the details. Being technically correct was thrown out the window from the moment the metric system and the 60 minute hour were used.”

“Is it a type of trip? Do you have work to do, Waltraute?”

“No, no. It is not a trip to go sell something. ….Hey, Freyja. What do you do on a honeymoon anyway?”

“Well, you go far away and your festive spirits will make sure you cannot leave anytime soon. That means you will have to stay at an inn where you can kiss and kiss and kiss and then head to the bed where-…”

“I get the picture, you sow. I was a fool to ask you.”

The small Waltraute pressed a finger against her temple and asked Brynhildr instead.

With no change of expression, the eldest Valkyrie sister replied, “You kiss a lot.”

“Dammit, you are no help either!!”

“However, Siegfried was the type to not listen and go fast and hard. And he would just go to sleep as soon as he was satisfied. I recall being very angry with him.”

“Oh, I know what that’s like,” said Freyja. “Those hero types always think about nothing but winning competitions of stamina, so they will always act like children. If only they would understand that is simply being inefficient.”

Brynhildr and Freyja began energetically discussing the matter while giggling. The small Waltraute felt a headache coming on, but then Brynhildr turned toward her and spoke.

“I have no intention of saying anything about your relationship or the apparent distance between the two of you. But if I recall, the idea of swimming in the ocean was suggested back at Bifröst.”

“The ocean!?” shouted the boy hysterically.

However, this was not because his heart was filled with excited expectations for a grand leisure event.

“You’ll drown if you go into the ocean! If you need to cross it, you can just use a boat!”

“…See? It looks like swimming in the ocean is no good in the eyes of Midgard either. Swimming is probably an extremely specialized skill for them.”

The goddess of beauty Freyja could not let that go by without comment.

This had entered her territory.

“You idiot! If you say that, there will never be a swimsuit chapter!! This is a love comedy, remember? This world needs to prioritize love and comedy. If detailed historical accuracy would get in the way of the love comedy aspects, the laws of this world will ensure that historical accuracy is thrown out!!”

“Are swimsuits even a thing here? Even if Midgard has a vague ‘medieval European fantasy world’ setting, synthetic fibers are going a bit too far.”

“True,” said Brynhildr as she let out a slight groan. “If we are going to stick to the cultural standards of Midgard, bathing in a spring would be the most accurate. …And that means the proper style would be bathing completely nude outdoo-…”

“Okay, swimsuits it is! This is a love comedy after all!!”

Part 11

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