Kamisama no Memochou:Volume 6 Chapter 1

"Who knows? Maybe we still feel things, after our death. I’d like to rest, considering that ‘rest’ is the right word, in that little cave up on the tall mountain, overlooking Verrières."

'Le Rogue et Le Noir' Stendhal/ Translated by Kobayashi Masaki

Chapter 1

The protagonist of the story I am going to say next was a man who really amazed me.

To be honest, I am not too familiar with this man, and I never met him and talked with him. Moreover, the little information about him was all rumors. The most ridiculous thing is that he practically never appeared in this story. Even so, this is still a story that belongs to him.

His nickname was the “Bear Punch” (Bare Knuckles), and it was said that he earned this ridiculous nickname because he once beat a bear to death with his bare hands. However, that was what everyone called him as, no matter whether he was in Afghanistan, Yugoslavia or Congo. Perhaps that is because Japanese names are harder to pronounce?

He used to be a mercenary that went through many countries, but retired once when he was in his thirties, the age of his physical prime. That was because, when he returned to his hometown of Japan, he met a woman, and fell in love.

Nobody granted their blessings for this romance, but they still conceived a girl. He could not engage in illegal acts while raising a child, so he decided to wash away the stench of cigarettes and the stains of blood as he settled down in Tokyo.

Nobody knew why they chose to run a ramen store. Perhaps there might be some sort of significance to it. The history of Japanese ramen was that it inherited the essence of Chinese ramen, came over from the mainland, from the seas, but the soup absorbed the food cultures from all kinds of different countries, and finally became an authentic Japanese cuisine. Unexpectedly, this matched the background of the daughter both of them had.

However, after his wife died earlier, he abandoned his daughter and the ramen shop on a certain day and went back to the battlefield as the “Bear Punch” again. The only proof of him staying in this peaceful country, running a ramen shop, was the shutters of the shop.

His actual name was Hanada Masaru.

It was said that when he thought of using his own name as the shop’s name, his wife complain that it was too ‘primitive’, and got rid of the ‘da’ and ‘sa’. .

—“Ramen Hanamaru”

The story of Hanada Masaru began and ended here, at this shop with that name.

In any case, though I had forgotten about it recently, I was a high school sophomore, about to turn 17. I only recalled that when chatting with my classmates in the classroom. This is ridiculous. Do I have a psychological disorder.

Anyway, the conversation was as such.

"So Fujishima-kun, one month later, please come help out too. Don't spend too much time on your part time work in October."

The bell indicating the beginning of lunch break started, and I heard to voice of a girl. I lifted my face, and saw a short haircut, feisty eyebrows and friendly looking eyes. It was Ayaka. I was sleeping throughout the morning classes sleeping, and my head was in a daze. Thus, I could not understand completely what she was saying, and also, the reason why Ayaka and the other girls gathered around my desk.

"...One month later?" Will something happen?

"Listen to what I say! You were sleeping during homeroom period again, didn't you, Fujishima-kun? Why do you always come to school just to take a nap?"

I'm tired from all the troubles recently,, I tried to retort, only for the girls to interrupt.

"Doesn't look like it's a nap anymore when he's been sleeping since morning, right?"

"Sometimes, he sleeps till 7pm, after school."

"I heard he sleeps through PE too."

"Really? That's amazing! How do you do that?" I want to know too. That's quite some exaggerations from you guys."

"Fujishima-Kun's really talented when it comes to sleeping"

For some reason, Ayaka raised her chest proudly.

"There was once when we had a conversation while he was sleeptalking."

"You should have woken me up!" I retorted inadvertently, as if it was about someone else. "Erm, back on topic, next month? Is there something?"

The girls' eyes immediately descended into the ice age, and I shunned them by looking at the table, desperately trying to remember.

Today's the last day of September right? Erm, if it's one month later, in October...the end of October...

"Oh, my birthday."

"I didn't know that!" "Yes yes congratulations." "How old are you? Looks like you're an old man with onset dementia, are you seventy-seven-years-old?"

Why are they ganging up on me now?

However, thanks to that, I remembered. I would be seventeen soon. Come to think of it, I'm still a High School student, right? Merely a year had passed since I transferred to this high school.

It's a long story, but I'm doing a part-time work to a private detective agency, serving as an assistant. Looking back at the case files that I myself wrote, it seemed that over the past year, I was involved with more than 10 disputes that would have been required prosecution. There's still half of my high school life to go. Looking at this pace, I estimate that I'll be involved in another 15 cases or so before graduation. I'm starting to feel dizzy about this. What would I do if I graduate into life before I graduated high school?

However, Ayaka brought her face to me, dragging me back to reality.

"It's not about you, Fujishima-kun! It's about the 3rd of November. Do you know what that day is?"

"...A day of good birth?"

"It's the culture festival! I guess you aren't sure when the public holidays are held anymore because you're on holiday all year long like a NEET." "I don't have the right to forget a little anymore...?" "But you don't remember when the culture festival is!"

Eh, culture festival?




The detective agency that employed me was located in the same building as the ramen shop where Ayaka worked part-time. To the east of a massive station where the JR, the private railways and the subway intersected, I head past a park filled with stragglers, to a backalley that was sparse in numbers. The shop itself was located at a diminutive, unimpressive gray multi-tenant building. The landmark here was a red curtain with amazing embroidery, unraveled at the front of the first floor. The words "Ramen Hanamaru" were written. There were only five counter seats in this small shop. The owner, Min-San, had her hair tied in a pony tail, a black apron over her a tank top, and a sarashi wrapped around her breasts. She was a dazzlingly, healthy older sister.

"Ayaka said she would be a little late these days because of the preparations for the Cultural Festival. So Narumi, why are you here so soon after school?"

I showed my face at 4pm, and Min-San asked me from behind the counter.

"Is it because there's no place for you in class?"

"Th-that's not it! I raised my voice anxiously. "What the class will do was decided when I was sleeping, they told me that I didn't have to do anything, and my table's used as a cutting table. That's why that's not the case!"

For some reason, there are tears coming out. Is that because of the onions Min-san was chopping?"

"There's no use of you staying in my shop either. If you're not going to order, scram. You're interfering with my preparations."

Why are you saying this to me when I'm an ex-employee? But But I can't leave just yet.

"Eh-eh well, you see, I'm here today with a request for the Cultural Festival, Min-san."

"For me?"

"Our class is doing an Ice Cream Shop."

Min-san stopped the hand holding the chopper.

"Hanamaru" was a strange ramen shop, famous for its ice cream dessert rather than its ramen. I heard that before her father disappeared and she inherited the shop, Min-San had been training hard to become an ice cream maker.

"Well, it'll be reassuring if Min-San will teach us how to make ice cream, that's what the girls in class said."

"...I don't have such time available. What about the shop?"

Min-San said with an exasperated look, and the sound of onions being chopped echoed again.

"No, won't it be fine if everyone went to "Hanamaru"?"

"Are you an idiot? That's the same thing. If I'm stuck with dealiing with a bunch of brats, who's going to make the ramen?"

"E-erm, then I'll do it--"

"What are you saying? What are you going to do, Narumi, when your specialty is dropping and breaking a bowl every thirty minutes?"

"I'm sorry, please forgive me. I won't say anything else."

Right. I knew that it would end up like this. She's not pulling any punches.

In other words, this was the one job I was assigned with for our Culture Festival preparations. Convincing Min-San.

"Anyway, our shop has always been a ramen shop, not not ice-cream shop. I do have some pride as a ramen shop owner, you know? It's done. bring this to Alice."

Min-San poured into the bowl a dash of chopped green onions, and pushed the bowl to me. All I could see in the bowl were cooked beansprouts and onions added in. This was always the case, but Min-san would always explain it to me.

"Onion miso ramen without noodles, soup, roast pork, bamboo shoots, or miso."

"There goes your pride!"

I got beaten up.

This Alice would be my employer, and she stayed on the third storey of this building. The door of room 308 had a signboard of it that read 'NEET Detective Agency'. Recently, I had been entering the room without knocking on the door, for I started to think of it as a hassle. The heat of late summer was about to end, yet the air conditioning in the room was chilling to the bone. I passed through the right, a narrow corridor in the kitchen, and inside there was a little room.

"Alice, I brought food."

"Wah! Wahwah!"

I brought the tray with the bowl on it into the room, only to hear a flustered voice from the bed. What's she doing?

The three walls of the bedroom were crammed with shelves, and the computer equipment on the shelves covered everything to the ceiling, while most of the floor was occupied by the bed. On the bedsheet were cute bear, dolphin, cat, capybara dolls, stacked in a hill. A petite girl was sprawled on the bed, trying to backtrack into this pile of dolls. We exchange looks, and the pale face under the black cap was instantly flushed red.

"N-next time, don't just come in so suddenly! I do have personal privacy to be respected too!"

"Eh, a-ah, sorry."

I nearly toppled the tray in my hand, and hurriedly turned my back on the bed as I return to the kitchen.

This little girl was the private detective who employed me--Alice. She was always living in this room, dressed in pajamas, but I had a peek at the clothing she was wearing just now...and for a moment, I was in disbelief.

She was wearing a black Tricorne, and a black laced shawl was draped over her shoulders. I guess it's not my eyes, but why would Alice be dressed up like that? Does she not wear only pajamas, mourning clothes or rich looking Japanese clothing?

"Woah, I'm caught by the zipper! U-uu, my hair, hurts. Narumi! Narumi!"

Hearing the call for me, I got to my feet.

"Don't come here! Don't look! Hurry up and get me out somehow!"

"What do you want me to do?"

Alice was in agony under the pile of dolls, and not only was the hair caught by the hook of the garter-belt, the zipper on the back was caught in the eye button. Truly a deplorable state.

Hurry and get me out, and don't hurt my friends (those dolls) no matter what, cover your eyes! Alice gave me one difficult task after another, and I decided to ignore the last one as I crawled onto the bed to carefully remove her long hair from the hook, freeing the dolls.

"Stay out there, and come in only when I tell you to!" Just like that, I was shooed out of the office. A few minutes passed, and Alice looked peeved as she opened the door and poked her head out, now dressed in the usual blue bear pajamas.

I was invited back into the bedroom, and for a moment, I could not say anything. Alice too curled her lips as she took out her chopsticks, stirring the onions and beansprouts in the bowl.

"What? If you have anything to say, say it."

Right behind a fuming Alice was a black hem revealed under the towel. I guess she hurriedly stuffed them underneath.

“Erm...is that some new mourning clothing?”

“If these look like mourning clothing, your funeral's going to arrive soon. Death by dementia.”

Is it trendy to deem me as having dementia recently? That's heartbreaking.

Speaking of which, those clothing certainly don't look like mourning clothes. There's no way there is such a strange hate. I guess it's more like a witch that appear in American cartoons.

“Enough already. Forget everything you just saw! Your specialty is at forgetting things, right?”

Alice finished the food in the bowl, and angrily turned her head away from me. The slender shoulders were completely submerged in the rich black hair.

Finally, the sound of rapid-fire typing echoed, and a messy garble of text appeared on the many monitors on the walls. Only when Alice reaches out for the crimson can placed on the side table—Dr Pepper would the typing stop. This hikikomori was so picky with her food, it's unbelievable. Every day, she would eat a little amount of vegetables, and it was common of her to order ramen that could not be considered ramen at all, no noodles and soup added. I was told that she could obtain most of her nutrients from Dr Pepper alone.

Alice's not an ordinary detective, but a NEET detective. She hardly leaves this cramped server room, but she's able to hard into all kinds of sites, and extract massive amounts of data all day long. And I'm the assistant to this detective.

As for what a detective's assistant does--

“Narumi, stop spacing out there! First off, clean up the bathroom!”

 

I started to feel skeptical about my work as a detective's assistant and my own future as I scrub the bathtub with sponge in hand. At this moment, a doorbell rang outside the ground glass.

“Alice, I bought all kinds of them!”

A boy's hearty voice could be heard, followed by footsteps and the sound of a paper bag being ruffled. It's Hiro. Most of Alice's acquaintances were NEETs with no livelihoods, and amongst them, Hiro is one of the more approachable ones. I guess Alice requested him to go buy something?

I switched the shower on to wash away the cleaning fluid in the bathtub, and once I stepped out of the bathroom, I saw his back, dressed in a strap-jacket, taking out something from the bag and laying it out on the bed. Alice saw me standing behind Hiro-san, and immediately jolted.

“Hiro! Narumi's here! Hide it!”

“Eh?”

Hiro-san turned around, spotted me, and quickly kept the thing on the bed back into the bag.

However, I saw it, even if it was just for a moment. Clothes wrapped in a vinyl pack. The coloring's really bright too. Wonder what's that?

“Oh? So you're here too, Narumi?”

“...Clothes for Alice? Hiro?”

“Eh? Well, yeah.”

“Narumi! This has nothing to do with you!”

Alice said as she snatched the bag from Hiro's hands, and stuffed it under the towel. Why's she being so sneaky about this?

“You're starting to get interested in fashion trends now? There's no need to be so embarrassed about it now, right?”

“Stop spewing nonsense there. Once you're done cleaning the bathroom, clear up the empty bowl!”

And so, Hiro and I were chased out of the office. What was that about?

“So now Alie's starting to get interested in clothing other than pajamas? Did you select those weird clothes for her, Hiro?”

I tried asking Hiro as we descended the emergency staircase. This guy may be a NEET, but he's a gigolo who would take advantage of his good looks and bluff women to maintain a livelihood, and he's very sharp on current fashion trends. It's hard for me to believe that those weird clothing were chosen by him.

“Ah...hm?”

Hiro finally gives off a snicker, but his answer was vague.

“Well, it's Alice's request! Don't get too deep into this, please!”

Then, he patted me on the shoulder.

“Alice's starting to think of how to attract looks from the opposite gender now.”

No, I don't think that's the case here.

If I had thought about it a little deeper as to why Alice's actions were so strange, maybe I would have realized. Back then, what Hiro took was not a bag from a clothing shop, but a bag from Tokyu Hands.

However, back then I forgot that I had to think deeply. As Alice said, my specialty is forgetting.

 

We returned to the old gathering spot at the dark bottom of the emergency staircase, and I explained the matter of the culture festival to Hiro, quietly discussing about how to convince Min-san. Hiro folded his arms in front of him, glancing back at the shop from time to time as he answered,

“I guess it's going to be difficult. See, for Min-san, ice cream is well, complicated, in many ways. A lot of things happened back then.”

“Yep, that's right.”

Min-san had to give up on her dream, for the sake of taking over the ramen shop, which her father left behind without saying anything.

“If you're to do it, Hiro, are you able to convince her somehow?”

“I don't have the sweettalking abilities you have, Narumi. Also, I think it's bad to coax a woman with empty words.”

“Aren't you the gigolo? Whose mouth is that talking here?”

While we're trading remarks, the autumn sun descended quickly, and Ayaka came by.

“Ah, Fujishima-kun. You're here too, Hiro? I'll take your orders later. Sorry for being late today. I'll go in first--”

Ayakae energetically greeted us, and entered the kitchen from the backdoor. Soon after, the sound of water rinsing something could be heard.

“Yes, Min-san, did you hear from Fujishima-kun? We really hope that you help us.”

I could hear such a conversation, and pricked my ears.

“I heard that.” Min-san's voice could be heard. “Unforunately, I don't have the time for that, and I'm not a professional ice cream maker. I really can't afford the time to teach others now.”

I lowered my shoulders dejectedly, and Ayaka suddenly opened the back door, walking out.

“Fujishima-kun, can you think of some way to coax Min-san? You really have the talent to be a conman, so you can probably say some strange chant by her ears or something.”

“That's no longer conning, that's a magi.”

“So you aren't denying that you're a conman?”

“I can only retort one by one! I'll be able to win 2 M-1 Grand Prix championships If I'm able to retort more than once!”

“Narumi, that little retort seem to be a little difficult to understand, you know?”

“You can stop nitpicking too, Hiro!”

“Hmm, I thought it'll be fine if you were requesting, Fujishima-kun. What do we do now? I already went ahead to invite our classmates to Hanamaru tomorrow. If they're here to eat ice cream, I think we can learn something.”

Ayaka frowned, and was about to return to the kitchen, only for Hiro to immediately show the eyes of a hunting bird.

“Your classmates are coming? To Hanamaru? Girls?”

“Eh?” Ayaka turned her head around. “Well, yes. I thought that we could get Min-san to teach us how to make ice cream, but we can't let her leave the shop alone. I guess there's no way...”

Hiro folded his arms in front of his chest, and pondered a little.

Then, he suddenly stood up, blinked at Ayaka with enough charm to overwhelm 500 girls at once, before heading into the kitchen.

Hiro passed by Ayaka, and even bothered to cautiously close the door. Thus, we didn't know what sweet talk he would bask Min-san with.

After that, what we heard was an unbelievable line from Hiro,

“Welcome! Please have a seat inside! Your order please. Yes, one roast pork ramen. Eh? Yes, I'm a new employee. Yes, starting from today. But it's a probation period since it's the first month...”

Dumbfounded, I stealthily nudged the door aside. Ayaka and I could see Hiro wearing an apron, tossing the ramen skillfully at the same time.

 

October began, and 'Ramen Hanamaru' was engulfed in a strange passionate vortex of pink.

A group of high school girls began invading after school, and also, even the number of female customers have obviously increased. Initially, most of Hiro's girlfriends wanted to see this strange scene of 'Hiro working', but through word of mouth, more girls were lured into seeing this handsome chap who cooks ramen.

“...In other words, Hiro, you gave up on the NEET lifestyle and proudly began work to interact with many high school girls?”

One week later, Major finally popped by at the back door of 'Hanamaru', asking this in displeasure as he glared at the girls of our girls hollering and crowding the kitchen.

“Hm, yeah, that's the case.”

“You're so weak!”

Major reached his hand out for the goggles, shaking his head.

This baby-faced guy, wearing a splinter camouflage helmet and a deep green army jacket may look like an elementary school kid, but he's actually an active college student. His nickname is Major, one of the irresponsible people around Alice.

“You sought the path of a hikikomori, Hiro, and now you are willing to turn yourself from being the one who leech a woman dry into someone who is leeched. You disappoint me.”

Well, I didn't find it disappointing, but I did find it strange somewhere. Was Hiro the kind of person who would ignore his own image for the sake of wooing girls? Well, speaking of which, starting work is a good thing, but I just couldn't help but wonder if there was some other intention to it.”

“Vice Admiral Fujishima, why didn't you stp him? Hiro's one of the important leaders to us NEETs. Now he's going to disappear due to the bubble called capitalism!”

“It'll be better for this world if that vanishes, right...”

As his attire might imply, Major was a bonafide military nut, and for some reason, he kept calling me Vice Admiral. Despite the rank of a Vice Admiral being higher than that of a Major, I never saw him show me any respect (and if he did, I'll be really troubled.) Major rattled off on me, and suddenly slammed the kitchen door, saying, “I shall go save Hiro myself.”

“Min-san, is the meringue hard enough now?”

“I added too much lemon juice by accident!”

“Wait! Didn't I say not to squash the strawberry? The juice will dampen the cheese's flavor.”

“There's quite a lot of liquor here. Is it alright to sell this at the culture festival?”

“It's fine. It's delicious after all!”

“Hiro~ Two more plates of fried dumplings please!”

“Okie! Ayaka, three bowls of Tsukemen coming up!”

“Okay. Sorry to keep you waiting!”

There were cheers of girls who seemed to be optimistic about their lives filling the steamed scent of ramen, and Major literally fainted on the spot.

 

Even Alice was caught amongst the collateral.

“Listen, Narumi! Don't ever let those girls near the office from now on!”

Alice said as she stood on the bed, her hands on her waist, fuming so badly her black hair was trembling.

Ayaka would occasionally mention Alice in the classroom, and our classmates felt interested as a result. Those girls got increasingly daring, barging into Min-san's house to learn how to make ice cream, and also entered the NEET detective agency on the pretense that they wanted to bring their ice cream to Alice. Well, that happened yesterday.

“I admit that it was my failure to be lured by the temptation of sweets and let them in. However, have they really gone through the necessary education of a cultured civilization? Your classmates couldn't distinguish between me and the dolls!”

Whenever they saw Alice, the girls eyes sparkled, exclaiming things like “So cute!” “Like a doll!” “Let me hug you!” and leapt towards her, cuddling her.

“Goodness! Master, Ayaka and even Mao are all the same. Why do girls want to hug me the moment they see me?”

“...Well, I guess that feeling is understandable. After all, you're cute, Alice.”

I tried explaining, and Alice froze up, her face reddened immediately, steam rushing out as though there was a whistle.

Her lips were quivering.

“...Wh-wh-wh-wh-what did you say?”

Now she's not speaking in proper Japanese. Seriously. What's with her? If she's still embarrassed, I can understand, but why is she so agitated?

“What did you just say? Wh-what did you say about me?”

“Well, you're as cute as a doll, so it's no wonder the girls want to hug you--”

“Wh-wh-wh-wh-what delusions are you thinking about you?”

“That's not a delusion. Didn't I say that about you before?”

“I never heard of it!”

Eh? Really? Now that she mentioned it, I guess I never actually told Alice this straight to the face. But did she never have any realization of her own appearance?

“I-I-I never thought you would say that, yo-you want to embrace me.”

“No no, what are you saying now? That's impossible.”

“What do you mean by impossible?”

Why are you getting angry because of this? There's reason for girls to say that, but if a guy is to say that, that's criminal.”

However, Alice started throwing empty cans of Dr. Pepper at me, and I had no choice but to run away from the office.