Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko:Volume8 Chapter2

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Chapter 2 – Even if I Accept That Dreams Don’t Go As Expected

I wondered how many dreams I had actually managed to fulfil in my life.

I kept asking myself this question as I kicked a soccer ball with mindless abandon.

That was the kind of dream I was having at dawn.

My vision, which was pitch black, was filled with noise, with voices crying, “Wake up, Mako-kun-kun!” or “Mofumofu! It’s mofu-mofu!” There was no way I would have ever set an alarm that produced such a gloomy awakening.

My body, and my head in particular, gradually began to feel lighter. Without resisting that sensation of emerging from a deep sleep, my consciousness surfaced. I lifted my eyelids, feeling my eyelashes peel away from my skin.

Smakin was peering down at me. I wasn’t particularly surprised, as Erio, who tended to be an early riser, occasionally woke me up in the mornings. The Smakin sisters, swaying unsteadily from side to side, were waiting for me to wake up, and…

“She multiplied!”

I bolted upright. It wasn’t just one today. There was a tiny one standing there as an extra. I rubbed my eyes, wondering if I was still half-asleep, but sure enough, Little Smakin was standing there alongside Big Smakin.

“Mofufufuuu” “Mofufuuufuuu”.

“Stop that little performance, acting like you’re exchanging ‘Oh, you’re awake’ and ‘Yes, he’s awake’ or something.”

They probably weren’t even communicating their intentions to each other anyway.

“Good morniiiing.”

Both outstretched arms hoisted a greeting. Even though we had parted ways at the park yesterday, they acted as if nothing had changed, behaving exactly like members of the Touwa family, and I couldn’t understand why.

“Why are you here?”

Perhaps because I had sat up so suddenly, I felt lightheaded, and the blood drained from my face. Accompanied by a ringing in my ears, my upper body grew unsteady, and I slumped back onto the bed. I groaned and glanced sideways at the two of them.

As the two Smakins peered into my face, combined with the backlight, the atmosphere felt as though I were about to undergo some sort of reconstructive surgery. Little Smakin seemed to be frantically composing a response to my question, making ja-ja-ja-ja sounds. Big Smakin, on the other hand, was being quite bold, letting out a “moofufuffuuu, moofufuu”.

“It is what they call a home visit.”

“I don’t see the point in doing that. And for that matter, how do you even know my, I mean, the Touwa house?”

“I followed you.”

“…I appreciate the honesty.”

I pressed a hand to my forehead and let out a sigh, my brow furrowing. I couldn’t even tell that Little Smakin had been tailing me.

I wondered if I was just becoming increasingly absent-minded lately or if I simply had to accept the overwhelming prowess of Little Smakin.

“I’ve gone and been attached to a tiring person again…”

Or maybe I was possessed. I really didn’t want to attempt suicide by bicycle ever again. Hospital stays were far too boring.

“Breakfast is ready, so please come downstairs.”

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t care, but you’re fitting in way too well.”

If anything, Big Smakin wasn’t working hard enough. She had been doing nothing but making “moofumoofu” sounds for a while now.

I left the room, accompanied by those two mofumofu creatures. I hadn’t finished changing yet, but I couldn’t exactly strip in front of a girl. Judging by the “mofufu” sounds Little Smakin had been making, she seemed to be a girl as well. I felt bewildered by how much closer this brought me to the great-granddaughter of my delusions, especially given her gender. But surely, that couldn’t be right.

Still, I looked back. I wondered what someone would think of me, walking around with two Smakins in tow. If they thought I was an outcast, I would celebrate with three cheers, but if they criticised me for being unable to read the room, I would feel quite pathetic.

“Hey, this is the stairs. You should uncover your face while you come down.”

I gave them a warning before descending the stairs. It wasn’t just that it might be dangerous; more importantly, if they tripped and caused a domino effect, I was the one at the front who would have to bear the brunt of it. I had no desire to serve as a cushion for the Smakins. From the Little Smakin, the usual ja-ja-ja-ja erupted. While Big Smakin simply showed her face. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, perhaps from the humid heat.

“Yo. Good morning.”

“Yo.”

We exchanged greetings expressionlessly. Then, Little Smakins held up a message card (though it was quite large for a card). Perhaps because she was standing on her tiptoes to hold it up, her legs were trembling slightly, and she looked as if she might collapse at any moment.

“My face is top secret. After all, I am from Planet Futon.”

“…Is that so?”

“Out of paper. Please refill.”

“You should have prepared properly at home.”

In the end, she went down just like that. As if she knew exactly where the stairs were, Little Smakin descended to the first floor without any trouble. When I muttered, “Impressive,” without any real emotion, Erio pouted.

“I-I can do that too back then!”

“Don’t try to compete with her over something like this. Come on, let’s go to Meme-san’s place.”

“Mofu.”

She had pulled her face back into the futon again. I continued walking down the hallway, deciding to just let her be.

“Meme-tan doesn’t get enough screen time lately!”

When I entered the room, Meme-tan was flailing about. This was my forty-year-old aunt. She was lying on her back, thumping and bouncing around, kicking her limbs about. Honestly, I felt her recent appearances were quite appropriate.

In the first place, the real problem was that a forty-year-old aunt was acting like the heroine in a story about highschoolers.

Well, it really was a bit late to be bringing that up now.

“You’re getting dust in the food!”

I tried scolding her. It didn’t even feel out of place. I wondered what on earth I thought of this aunt of mine.

Meme-san sat up abruptly and gave a fearless, “Fu fu fu” laugh.

“Don’t you worry, I’ve wrapped everything in plastic wrap properly.”

“Did you really feel the need to go that far just to act out?”

“Well, now that Meme-tan has made her case, let’s eat.”

She beckoned for me to help, saying, “Mako-kun, come help me.” I was too drained to even form words, so I simply sat down in silence.

The two of us peeled the plastic wrap away, piece by piece. It was such a hassle. The two Smakins seemed to be waiting in the corner of the room, sitting in formal seiza. I thought Big Smakin should get out of the futon and help, but since she and Little Smakin were tucked away so neatly, I decided to leave them be.

Besides, before I could address that, I had to mention the other problem.

I stared at Meme-san while my hands continued to move. She winked at me. Both eyes at the same time. It was meaningless.

“Why do you just let strangers, especially suspicious ones, straight into your house like that?”

Yashiro had been treated to breakfast during summer vacation, too. As for today… she wasn’t here, unsurprisingly. However, knowing how she was, I couldn’t rule out the possibility of her quietly appearing from under the eaves again. Between her and Meme-san, there were too many unpredictable people around me, and the constant worry was never-ending. I wondered if, once science and technology advanced enough for everyone to be able to teleport, there would be no time left for one’s nerves to ever rest. Thieves would probably be able to break into houses with ease, too, making everything a complete mess. And widespread use would be difficult too.

“…………”

Despite waiting in silence for a long time for an answer to the question, there was no reaction whatsoever from Meme-san. Glancing sideways, I saw that she was peeling off some tape while humming to herself. Had this aunt of mine gone even more deaf? As I glared intently at her, she finally looked up with extreme affectation, her shoulders trembling in a startle. My absurd aunt, whose only fear seemed to be old age, let her shoulders slump awkwardly. Had it not been for her usual attitude, I might have actually been deceived.

“Meme-tan is reflecting on her actions.”

“Don’t you think calling yourself ‘Meme-tan’ is completely unnecessary if you’re trying to gain someone’s trust?”

“If I left that part out, I wouldn’t be Meme-tan anymore! Oh, stop it,” she said, tapping my shoulder. If she stopped being Meme-tan… I suppose she’d become Meme-chin or something.

“If you have truly self-reflected, please make sure not to let suspicious people into the house from now on. Also, please try not to let them wake me up like they did this time.”

“It’s just because she looked somewhat familiar.”

I glanced at Little Smakin while resting my hand on my chin. As if sensing my gaze, she gave a soft “mofufu” little bow.

“Of course she does. She’s your daughter, the one right next to you.”

I pointed to the “Mofuumofuu” creature beside her. That appearance seemed perhaps the furthest thing from an astronaut. I wondered if she could really make it to space after undergoing special training from someone like this. Hmm… Huuuummm.

The more I looked, the less I trusted her. I even doubted whether she could manage a simple errand around the neighbourhood without incident.

“Alright, the plastic wrap is all peeled off. Erioooo, dinner’s ready!”

When Meme-san called, Erio obediently crawled out from under her futon. Slithering out from the top of the bedding, Erio crawled toward the dining table on all fours. The abandoned futon gradually wilted from the centre like a damp chikuwa and slumped heavily. For some reason, Little Smakin tried to tidy it. Leaning forward, she used her arms, which protruded from atop the bedding, to try and upright the rolled-up futon that Erio had shed. It was creepy, almost like she was preying on it. Erio turned back with a fierce glare.

“What do you think you’re doing to my futon?”

“I’m tidying it for you, so it’s fine, isn’t it?”

“Yes, yes.”

Little Smakin sent a message, reusing the back of the paper used earlier. She continued to sit there quietly in seiza position, but I wondered if she intended to wait there until we finished breakfast.

After picking up my chopsticks and soup bowl, I decided to check with her just in case.

“Um, what about breakfast?”

“I have already eaten, so please do not worry about it.”

Oh, Little Smakin was being quite sensible. She was certainly different from that certain person who looked like she was wearing a spacesuit. However, if she weren’t here for the food, I couldn’t think of any reason why she would have visited the Touwa family so early in the morning.

“Is school alright? It doesn’t look like you’ve even prepared your school bag.”

“Since I am an alien, I’m taking the day off from school.”

“Am I the only one who feels like those two sentences had no connection to each other?”

“Regrettably, you are the only one.”

She had stated it as a fact. “I see, sorry,” I said, sipping my wakame miso soup. I found myself losing the energy to continue this conversation.

I, Niwa Makoto, had finally learned the hard way that engaging in debates with self-proclaimed aliens yielded no productive results. Incidentally, the Niwa Makoto who lived inside the television screen had recently brought a girl to his room.

It seemed as though there existed some fatal gap between him and me, something beyond just a difference in dimension. The world can just perish.

“Mmm, your new wife is so good at cooking, isn’t she?”

“True, except the part about her being my new wife.”

I ate my meal while letting Meme-san’s usual delusions flow past me. Aside from Little Smakin acting like a mere ornament in the corner, it was a peaceful breakfast time, unchanged from yesterday. Erio, who sat across from me, was also munching away busily. Since her hair looked as though it might fall into her food if she looked down, she maintained that strange posture of holding her bowl up and eating while facing upwards. “Kyaa! Mako-kun, there’s a grain of your rice on your cheek!” I pushed back against my aunt’s approaching forehead. What did she mean by a grain of “my” rice? I touched my cheek. There really was a grain of rice stuck there.

“…………”

No, no, no.

It felt strange because everything was just as it always was. No one, other than myself, cast even a glance toward Little Smakin. That mother and child simply didn’t pay her any mind at all. I wondered what kind of nerves these people had. It almost made me feel like the odd one out, as I was the only one repeatedly glancing at Little Smakin. I decided to give up on Meme-san and instead stared intently at Erio. Although she had shown signs of being down when she was in the park yesterday, she seemed to have recovered overnight. If that was the case, then she should at least notice my gaze. And she should question why the current situation, where Little Smakin was being accepted so easily, was even happening. Because this was exactly how invaders might begin their conquest of Earth, but that’s not the point.

“Oho, Mako-kun is mesmerised by Eri-tan.”

Meme-san whispered into my ear, having moved her face right up against my side without me even noticing.

“Pardon?”

My eyelids fluttered repeatedly, as if trying to catch up on all the blinks I had missed. Erio set her bowl down and tilted her head, letting out a confused, “Hmm?” I hurriedly pulled my face away, shaking both my head and my chopsticks.

“No, that’s not it.”

It was true that I had been staring, but the way she put it was misleading.

“You’ve finally awakened to Eri-chan’s charms, haven’t you! Now, keep that momentum going and open your eyes to Meme-chin’s bewitching allure, Mako-kun! Come on, give me a big smooch!”

“There is no rice grains left, so please don’t bring your lips anywhere near me!”

The peaceful breakfast time collapsed. I abandoned both my bowl and my chopsticks, using both hands to try and push Meme-san away. While I stepped back from that utterly pointless struggle, Erio remained there, tilting her head with a contemplative “Hmm”.

“Cousin, were you looking at Erio-san with respect?”

‘No, he definitely wasn’t (lol).’

Little Smakin provided a perfectly accurate commentary. “Y-You’re being so cheeky to your master!” Erio puffed out her cheeks. Oh, she finally reacted. Setting aside how overly familiar they were with each other, they looked like sisters when they acted like that… Though, that couldn’t be true. Unless, of course, Meme-san had a secret child.

But then again, this woman had gone so far as to hide Erio’s existence from her own relatives.

“Let me tell you one thing, Mako-tan.”

Meme-san spoke while they remained locked in a struggle, their hands pressed against one another.

“…Please stop using ‘-tan’.”

Completely ignoring my opinion, Meme-san smiled. It was a lovely smile.

“Taking Eri-tan as a bride means, in essence, taking Meme-tan as a bride as well.”

“Whoa, that’s an impregnable fortress right there.”

Faced with Erio’s now-sealed fate of a lifelong single life, I felt like raising a bowl of wakame soup in a toast.

“Now, let’s dash forth!”

I hesitated for about three seconds, debating whether to chase after Little Smakin, who was scurrying down the hallway toward the entrance. I wouldn’t be able to make it outside unless I went that way, but I wondered if it was really okay to just head out like this. I don’t want to start running with you, Litsma. It sounded like “litmus paper” when I abbreviated her name. Not that it really mattered.

“What do you think you are doing?!”

“What are *you* doing?”

Wrapping herself in a futon first thing in the morning and jumping around wildly in someone else’s house Her parents are going to worry. As I pressed my hand to my forehead and sighed, a heavy thumping sound approached from behind. When I turned around, I saw Meme-san jumping about.

“Meme-tan is going to school, too!”

“Have you lost your mind, forty-year-old?”

Today was not Parent-Teacher Observation Day. I told her not to overdo it just because she wanted more screen time.

“Mako-kun, you’re a hippo!”

She called me a hippo with a completely straight face. What was more, she brushed past me with a detached, brisk stride. It was somewhat frightening.

“Hippo.”

“You don’t need to repeat it, my daughter.”

“Come on, let’s go,” I said, placing my hand on the back of her head to urge her to head out. Erio continued to mutter, “Hippo, hippo…”

After I made Erio put on her shoes since she had attempted to head outside barefoot, we stepped out. It was still quite early to be heading to school, but I ended up being drawn along by Little Smakin. That Little Smakin was busy chasing a cricket that had darted out from between the plants in the garden. If she only stripped off her futon, she was truly innocent and full of life. That just made her a surreal idiot. That said, I couldn’t just let her play like that forever.

I approached Meme-san, who had pulled her bicycle out from the shed. Meme-san had completely lost her serious expression and was pouting her lips. “I don’t want to work.” she whined, but I chose to pretend I hadn’t heard her.

“What should we do about that child?”

I brought up the matter of how to handle Little Smakin. Meme-san tilted her head with a thoughtful “Hmm”.

“Mako-kun, couldn’t you just look after her? It seems like she has business with you, anyway.”

“No, I have to go to school.”

“And I have to go to work. Guhee.”

She had unilaterally dismissed me. I recoiled in surprise but quickly regained my composure. As for the current state of Little Smakin, she was skilfully catching crickets with her toes and hopping around on one leg, chasing Erio. Although Erio was usually unfazed by insects, she was currently running around screaming in a panic.

It was true that Smakin, approaching on one leg like that, was more terrifying than any insect. She looked more like a youkai.

“By the way, that child isn’t my secret love child. Meme-tan is in the pure heart faction.”

“Oh, is that so? I completely misjudged the situation.”

“Maybe I’ll take a big chance and just make her Erio-tan and my child.”

That was way too much of a big chance. She should just go bury herself right where she stood.

“So, what are you actually going to do?”

I ignored her because the conversation wasn’t going anywhere. At this point, I had stopped raising my voice at things like this.

“Fine, whatever. Meme-tan will just take her to her workplace.”

Holding both arms out horizontally, Meme-san started to run. As the forty-year-old sprinted across the garden at full speed, she easily lunged forward and grabbed Little Smakin, who had been hopping on one leg, from behind. While Little Smakin was left wondering, “Mofufu?”, Meme-san used both hands to lift the entire body, futon and all, into the air. “Mofufuu!” Being knocked sideways and suspended in mid-air, it seemed impossible for Little Smakin to utilise any agility. She kicked its legs wildly, but since she was short, she couldn’t reach anything. The cricket she had caught between her fingers managed to escape into the garden during the struggle. Little Smakin was then shoved into the basket of Meme-san’s dedicated bicycle (apparently named the Salamander, though I had no idea where the name came from) and held fast. She struggled to kick her way out of the basket, but it only produced a clattering noise. It was like a fish caught in a trap, thrashing about as it tried to escape. Even while struggling, she just went ja-ja-ja-ja inside.

While Little Smakin was left wondering, “Mofufu?”, Meme-san used both hands to lift the entire body, futon and all, into the air.

“If you treat an alien like this, it will start a war.”

“A war?”

“I have remained silent until now, but in truth, I am an invader. I came here to investigate whether or not to colonise the Earth. However, due to an accident, I am unable to return to my comrades.”

“I heard that backstory somewhere before…”

I stole a glance toward the source. Erio’s bristling hair swayed slightly. Sensing my gaze, Erio scurried around to my back with a pitter-patter of feet. Then, she clung to me. Why? Was she trying to hide?

“Alright, let’s get going! La la laaaaa, work is fun again today!”

Meme-san began pedalling her bicycle while humming a song that clearly didn’t reflect her true feelings. Far from being bothered by Little Smakin’s sudden confession of her backstory, she ignored it entirely. It reminded me somewhat of how Meme-san was in April. Her attitude toward those claiming to be aliens remained consistent.

Little Smakin flailed her legs even more vigorously, insisting, “As an alien, I demand better treatment!” Weren’t we already taking care of her?

Leaving the person displaying that message aboard, Meme-san went on her way as usual.

“The invader has been kidnapped.”

Meme-san > The invader’s narrative established here. I watched as the crisis facing Earth drifted away.

The (supposedly) child was left in the care of a (more or less) adult, so it should be fine.

“M-Mom was stolen. Waaaaah.”

“…Well, I should be heading out, too.”

I turned around. Erio, who was still clinging to my back, turned as well. She also had shopkeeping duties waiting for her. I took out my cell phone and checked the time. “Ta-da!” Erio held up her own phone from the side. “I know you have one.” How many times was she going to brag about that? I finished checking the time.

Good. I eased my grip on Erio from behind. Waiting for the moment she tucked her phone into her clothes, I spoke up.

“Since we have some time, I’ll give you a ride all the way to the Tamura store every once in a while.”

“Huh? Oh. The hippo has resurrected as Cousin.”

“Shut up, and just get on.”

“Mmh.”

Though her expression remained blank, Erio nodded happily and hopped into the bicycle basket without a moment’s hesitation.

I accepted it naturally, without trying to stop her, and gripped the handlebars.

It was better to have my cousin tucked in the basket than Little Smakin. Well, probably.

“Ho-ho. Invasion, aliens, observing humans… Ugh…”

During PE class, as we ran alongside each other on the school track, Ryuushi-san clutched her head in distress. All I had done was tell her the story of how Little Smakin had burst into my house that morning. She looked quite good in her gym clothes too.

Or rather, that might have been the most important point. From the perspective of a Youthful Man.

“Is something wrong?”

“It’s just that Ryuuko-san is at that age where her frontal lobe occasionally aches.”

“Th-that’s an age where you should be going to the hospital.”

“Fu fu fu, it just made me a little nostalgic for the old days.”

As she said this, she lifted her head and rubbed the underside of her nose with her finger. Then, she began to move her feet with a light, bouncing stride. Because of the dramatic up-and-down motion, Ryuushi-san’s chest was bouncing quite violently as well.

“…She’s certainly in her growth spurt.”

Compared to our first meeting in April, I had the feeling she had grown noticeably. A truly moving epic.

Even though it was a co-ed physical education class, I rarely saw boys and girls running together like this. Because of that, I felt we were attracting some attention. It even felt as if people were whispering about us.

Under the blue October sky, the refreshing air exuded a sense of coolness. However, the sunlight was fierce, feeling as though droplets of light were sliding down my bangs and dripping onto my face. The tip of my nose felt parched, as if being stroked, and hot.

Ah, by the way, Maekawa-san wasn’t running from the start. She was trudging along. When I eventually lapped her, I turned around and gave her a small wave. Maekawa-san smiled slightly and waved back.

“Does that little kid give you a headache, Niwa-kun?”

“Hmm, I just thought it would be a hassle to be followed around. Also, well… I think it’s better to actually go to school.”

“That’s true. Ryuuko-san too was quite mischievous, back in my youth, so I had some regrets.”

I crossed my arms as I kept moving. Mischievous? I tilted my head in confusion. Did she actually have a delinquent phase?

“Back in kindergarten, I used to get scolded all the time for making the boys cry.”

“Is that story really that far back?”

“When I played dodgeball, for some reason, the balls I threw always ended up hitting people right in the face.”

She spoke while miming the action of throwing an imaginary ball with an “Eiya!” She added that even when she passed the ball in basketball, it always flew straight toward the opponent’s face, so I worried the punchline wouldn’t be that she wasn’t a candidate for the starting lineup.

“But Ryuuko-san has also an innocent and lovely side!”

“Ooh.”

I chimed in, though I began to wonder what exactly we were talking about.

“In fact, Ryuuko-san once received a love letter from a kid in the neighbourhood!”

“Whut?”

She had just announced a fact that was far too significant to ignore. Ryuushi-san puffed out her chest with pride.

“It was hard to read because it was entirely written in hiragana, but it definitely made my cheeks burn.”

…Hiragana?

“I particularly appreciated the part where he wrote, ‘Ryuuko-chan’. Hmm, he certainly knew how to charm me.”

I nodded rhythmically, saying, “Good, good… Um, how old was this child from the neighbourhood?”

“Four years old. So what?”

She asked with a deadpan expression. Her chin tilted up as she gazed vacantly into the distance.

“No, it’s nothing.”

*Step, step, step*, I continued running the final lap, my feet striking the ground.

It seemed that no matter how much I tried, rhythmic nonsense like “su-te-te-te” simply wouldn’t come from my feet.

“Onii-san, Onii-san! Come stop by the shop! Onee-san will give you a special treat!”

“…With a first impression like that, you wouldn’t even be able to complain if people hung up thinking it was a wrong number.”

Meme-san called me at a timing that seemed perfectly calculated for the moment school ended, or rather, it felt as if she had been monitoring my classroom. I spoke in a low voice, huddling into myself to avoid the sense of liberation permeating the room, muttering and whispering. After all, despite her age, my aunt had a very youthful voice.

I didn’t want anyone to risk anyone around me mistakenly thinking the person on the other end of the line was my girlfriend.

“Oh, Mako-kun, you seem all high-strung.”

“What kind of persona is that? Do you need something?”

Ryuushi-san, who was near the entrance in front of the classroom, waved at me. It looked like she was on her way to club activities. I gave a small wave back. She mouthed a question, “Who are you talking to?” so I traced “40” with my fingertip. Ryuushi-san nodded as if to say, “Ah, I see,” and then departed. I was relieved my message got through.

“The fact that you lightly referred to Meme-tan as forty years old shall set your lifelong virginity flag, Mako-kun.”

“I already told you to stop trying to grasp the situation with more than just your five senses.”

“Anyway, come by the shop later. Apparently, Mofumofu-chan has some business with you, Mako-kun.”

“The shop? Mofumofu-chan… Ah, that girl.”

At the very least, I understood that part. It had to be Little Smakin. As for having business with me, was it special training again? If that was the case, she should have just called Erio; why was she trying to drag me into it? I wondered if this was what it felt like to be appointed as a guarantor by someone I wasn’t even close with. Besides, was she still at Meme-san’s place?

“Uh, what shop are you talking about?”

“Obviously the Japanese sweets shop!”

“How exactly is that obvious… Japanese sweets? Uh, you mean that Mars-something confectionery?”

“That’s the one! Oh, pleased to make your acquaintance!”

“I have no idea what that means. Huh, do you have some kind of connection to that place?”

“Well, you could say it’s like Meme-tan’s backyard!”

“That sounded so suspicious… Huh?”

Then, Maekawa-san entered my field of vision. Moreover, she approached me. For some reason, she began to wander around right in front of me, pacing back and forth. Along the way… She peeked up at my face from below and even poked at my crown with her finger.

I felt as though I were being treated like a mere plaything.

I looked away from the noisy telephone. “What is it? Do you need something?” I asked Maekawa-san.

“No, there’s no meaning to it at all. I’d prefer it if you didn’t mind,” she said.

She let out a bright, cheerful laugh. To tell me not to mind was an impossible request. I was not an immortal, so there was no way I could simply ignore someone who would groan, “Hummm”, like a critic while pinching my earlobe or stroke the protrusion of my throat, remarking, “This is your Adam’s apple, isn’t it?” I twisted my body, squirming in distress.

“Oh, transfer student, I wonder if you are particularly sensitive.”

Maekawa-san beamed, looking quite delighted, as if she were pleased by my reaction.

“Well, that comment was a bit…” I found it difficult to add, “It really hit home!”

“What else, let’s see, your collarbone?”

If she ends in a question, I find it hard to reply, “No, my collarbone?” To make matters worse, she slid her fingers under the collar of my uniform and traced my collarbone with her fingertips. A shiver ran down my spine. I trembled.

“Hmm, transfer student, you’re quite easy to read. It’s interesting.”

“It’s, not, interesting.”

That was the best protest, or rather, rebuttal that I could muster. As expected, Maekawa-san’s personality was difficult to pin down.

I refrained from saying that she had been much easier to read in my fantasies, fearing she would be completely repulsed.

“Mako-kuuuun! Don’t abandon your true wife!”

An inappropriate remark for a wholesome youth erupted from the other end of the phone. I hurriedly brought the device closer to my mouth.

It was easy enough to respond to that.

“You really should try to keep your delusions in check.”

“I don’t want to hear that coming from you, Mako-kun.”

“Ugh… So, I just have to go pick that kid up, right? Even though I don’t want to.”

“Yay! Good boy. Well then, farewell!”

The call ended, leaving behind nothing but a nonsensical parting phrase. She was a frantic person, even over the phone.

“It seems the person on the phone was your new wife.”

“Are you still dragging that joke on? No, I asked to come and collect Little Smakin… Wait, I didn’t tell you about her, right, Maekawa-san? Little Smakin is basically that girl who was at the back gate of the school yesterday.”

“So, the miniature Touwa, then.”

“Yeah, exactly. I appreciate how quickly you catch on. She wants me to go pick her up right now.”

I shrugged, sighing in exasperation. “A disaster indeed,” said Maekawa-san, looking quite happy. As if it were someone else’s problem.

“Well, then, perhaps I’ll come along too.”

“Huh? Oh, you’re going to your part-time job? I heard she’s at a Japanese sweets shop.”

I felt like the information was a bit out of order, but I tried saying that anyway. Maekawa-san gave a slight shake of her head.

“No, I don’t have a part-time job, but… well, I’ve got time on my hands. Enough to hang out with you, transfer student.”

“That certainly sounds like you’ve got time on your hands.”

“Right? Right? Come on, let’s go before Ryuushi finds us.”

I nodded, even as I wondered why Ryuushi-san’s name was suddenly being brought to the forefront.

And so, I ended up spending my after-school hours with Maekawa-san.

Sometimes, Smakin actually proved useful to others.

“Heh, she really is like a miniature Touwa.”

“She certainly is.”

When we arrived at the shopfront, Little Smakin was clutching a broom. Of course, she was still wrapped up in her futon.

She gripped the broom with both hands protruding from above, leaning forward as she swept the road. From the side, her posture looked like a slightly opened compass. It also resembled the shape of a fan spread downward.

It was a rather strained sight for someone cleaning. The idea of leaving the cleaning to her probably could only have come from a certain aunt, but as a business owner, one had to wonder about that. Little Smakin twisted her body with a soft “mofufu” giggle.

Watching her, I attempted to park my bicycle, but the brakes were weak and I went a little too far. There had been no resistance even when I squeezed them. Were they malfunctioning? I kicked off the ground to back up. Just then, Little Smakin moved.

“Hello.”

It was a greeting of only five characters, but it was a feat achieved through a whirlwind of motion: releasing the broom for a mere instant, scribbling frantically ja-ja-ja-ja on the paper in the short time it took for both her and the broom to fall, hoisting the note up, and then regripping her broom. It was incredibly roundabout because of the futon. If she had just taken it off, most of that sequence of movements could have been avoided.

“Yo. Also, why are you calling me? Address me as (provisional) Master.”

I admonished her not to summon me so casually, even for a greeting. I handed her the broom as well. Freed from her cramped, forward-leaning position, Little Smakin bowed her head with a “mofufu”. Her politeness was fine and all, but still.

“Anyway, what are you doing in front of the confectionery shop? Are you obstructing business?”

“I’m cleaning.”

“I get that. But are you obstructing business?”

“The old woman made me do it. She treated me to lunch, so she said ‘p-l-e-a-s-e’.”

The second half of my question was ignored entirely.

“Ah, thanks for your hard work… And where is that Meme-san?”

I peeked into the shop, but there was only one clerk present… Ah, I recognised her. She was that strange woman who had visited the candy store dressed as a shiratama dango and started telling me stories of the past. Today, she was wearing normal clothes.

My eyes met with the clerk’s. Then, she glanced at Maekawa-san and placed a hand on her chin.

“The old woman toubou out the back door.”

“The old woman toubou out the back door.”

Little Smakin provided the explanation, using a rather courageous choice of words.

“Toubou? She fled?”

It seemed she had been humming that final “run run run run run” while escaping. It was easy enough to understand.

“By the way, when I called her old lady, she nearly wrung my neck like a wet rag.”

“Ha ha ha, you did well surviving that.”

“I almost ended up spilling my insides like gooey chocolate from a cornet.”

Smakin suddenly shuddered, her upper body trembling. Meme-san was truly terrifying, able to make even an invader shake like that.

In fact, maybe she was actually the alien.

After parking the bicycle in front of the shop, Maekawa-san stepped forward and stood beside me. She raised a small hand, as if peering into the swirling vortex of the futon.

“Hi there, rumoured little one. I saw you by the school’s back gate yesterday.”

“Well, you’re certainly a big one yourself.”

For some reason, she grabbed Maekawa-san’s body and attempted to scramble up her.

“Don’t try to climb to the summit.”

I pulled the futon from behind and peeled it off her. Little Smakin wriggled, “Mofufu”, as if protesting the casual touch. She slipped from my grasp and kicked sharply against the ground to maintain a certain distance.

“Touching an alien so carelessly is a big no-no.”

“Weren’t you just touching Maekawa-san quite carelessly?”

“Out of paper. Please refill.”

What a convenient interruption. Maekawa-san and I locked eyes, both of us wearing wry smiles.

“She’s an interesting little thing. More charming than the old Touwa, at least.”

“More or less. That one was truly delusional.”

While Erio had been about 8 parts delusional to 2 parts Smakin, this little one seemed to be roughly 3 parts delusional to 7 parts Smakin. I couldn’t even make sense of that Smakin part myself, even as I said it.

“Out of paper. Please refill.”

She wedged herself between Maekawa-san and me. Hey, you’re being a huge nuisance. Left with no choice, I pulled a brand-new notebook from my bag and shoved it toward her. That should last a while. I chose to close my eyes, purposely avoiding the small details, like why I felt the need to bestow paper upon this creature, why I had to deal with her antics, or even what she actually was in the first place, because thinking about them felt like an invitation for a headache.

From inside the futon, I heard the ripping sound of paper being torn.

“Thank you so much for the paper! There’s so much it caused a paper jam.”

“‘Please try to use paper a bit more sparingly.”

“Try to use it a bit more strategically.”

Even though I told her to stop such wasteful behaviour. Little Smakin snatched the paper and bounced from side to side.

“Transfer student, wouldn’t this little one happen to be a relative of yours?”

While following Little Smakin with her eyes, Maekawa-san questioned me. No, no, she should have been checking if the child had some connection to Erio; my relationship to her was irrelevant. There shouldn’t be anyone in the Niwa family who travels around wrapped in a futon. We did have a strange custom of representing names with a single kanji character, though. But as far as I knew, my mother’s name was “Sakae”, and there was a relative named “Shizuka”. My father was an adopted son-in-law into the Niwa family, so he was different.

“I don’t need any more relatives like this, thank you; I have enough as it is.”

“Since you said you were going to pick someone up, I thought she was a child you were looking after. So she’s just a stranger?”

Maekawa-san poked her finger into Little Smakin’s swirling mass of hair. Little Smakin immediately retreated to escape it, leaning back with a little “mofufu” sound. No matter how much she tried to stand tall, it was ineffective against an opponent like Maekawa-san. It only made the trembling of her legs look adorable.

“So, her true identity is still a mystery?”

“I think she’s just an elementary schooler from around the neighbourhood, but I have no proof.”

“Hmm. In that case, let Maekawa-san, renowned for her impressive intellect, to attempt a deduction.”

“I’m an alien from planet Futon.”

Despite Little Smakin’s claim, it failed to convince Maekawa-san.

“Hmm… I think she is Touwa’s other half, separated by an accident.”

“Pardon?”

“By merging, they’ll return to being the true Touwa and power up, or something like that.”

“…Isn’t it just wrapping up in two layers of futon?”

“That’s certainly possible.”

Maekawa-san spoke with an incredibly delighted expression. And there was one who moved as if in agreement.

“That’s mostly correct.”

“Hey, don’t jump on the bandwagon and try to cement your position.”

Since it seemed things would get complicated if Little Smakin joined in, I shut down the topic.

“I was planning to finish up the cleaning soon anyway, so let’s head over to tokkun.”

“What’s tokkun?”

Maekawa-san looked at my face, a question mark written all over her expression.

“Ah, well, that kid wants to be an astronaut… so, it’s like, some kind of training.”

I gave a vague explanation, letting my voice trail off. While I was at it, I pulled my cell phone out of my bag. Time to call Erio. Beep, boop, beep. Ah, she picked up immediately. Her responsiveness was so high she seemed like she would have answered even if I’d only let it ring once.

“Mofumofu.”

“Don’t answer the phone while you’re Smakin.”

“That’s not it. This is my own version of hello.”

“Ah, sorry, my bad. As an amateur, I couldn’t tell the difference. Anyway, Erio-san, how have you been?”

“I-I have a bad premonition.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. It’s just that there’s something I can only ask you to do!”

“Déjà vu.”

“It’s all in your head. Anyway, let’s meet up at the same park as yesterday.”

“A-Actually, something like this happened yesterday too. Wait, hold on.”

I hung up. With this, she should be coming. Despite everything, that girl was quite the lonely soul.

I had no obligation to join in on this special training, but well, there wasn’t much else to do once I went home anyway.

“What about you, Maekawa-san?”

“No, I’ll join. Astronaut training sounds fascinating, doesn’t it?”

“…You shouldn’t get your hopes up.”

Yesterday, all they did was run relentlessly. The visual novelty lasted for maybe the first five minutes before it became boring. Yesterday’s version of me, who stuck it out until the very end, must have been incredibly bored.

After returning the broom to the shop clerk, Little Smakin took the lead.

“Now that our daily duties are finished, let’s go!”

As she started running energetically, pieces of dango skewers tumbled out from the gap beneath the duvet.

And so, I accepted Little Smakin leaping into Maekawa-san’s bicycle basket with a wry smile.

“Today’s tokkun will be tag.”

Master Erio, whom we had picked up on the way to the park, announced this immediately after we arrived. As she spoke, she was rustling around, climbing out of my bicycle basket. Little Smakin, who had been carried in Maekawa-san’s basket, had already landed on the ground. As expected, she was slightly high-performance.

“Oh? So you wanted to play tag?”

“N-no, I didn’t. It’s not playing; it’s tokkun.”

Erio pouted, demanding a correction. I was being chased by Meme-san day and night, and I wondered if that was actually serving as astronaut training. My future certainly looked bright. As if.

“Mmm, whoa, oh, oh, oh.”

Even after she dismounted her bicycle, Erio lost her balance and wobbled. She finally came to a stop when she bumped into Little Smakin, who had been standing there, and abruptly changed her apology to something that sounded more like a master: “Sor… I apologise.” Given her appearance, trying to pull off “I apologise” was a bit of a stretch. Little Smakin then began to move with a rapid, rhythmic ja-ja-ja-ja.

“(Provisional) Master Points: Minus 2.”

“Hey! It was just a bump!”

“Your movements are sluggish. If you want to go to space, you need to move much faster than this.”

As if to prove her point, she began performing side-to-side lateral shuffles. She was certainly fast. More than that, she was creepy. The sight of an entity that looked like a marshmallow with legs hopping rapidly from side to side made the viewer’s face twitch.

It was a way of life that prioritised speed, shattering any preconceived notions of what Smakin was.

Then again, what kind of life was it that had preconceived notions of Smakin in the first place?

“Ah.”

Erio suddenly let her mouth hang open. After glancing back and forth between Maekawa-san and me,

“Excuse me for a moment.”

She declared, turning her back to us. She seemed to be muttering something while hunching her shoulders, her hands busy fiddling with something. She was also murmuring “beep boop beep”. Was she phoning someone? When I tried to peek, she twisted her body even further away with a refusal. I circled around her once. Then I circled again. She spun around and around. Every time she moved, particles scattered beautifully, but since it was entirely meaningless, I gave up and faced Little Smakin instead.

“Do you know how to play tag, Alien-san?”

“I am indeed familiar with it.”

“It’s not a game that requires such archaic formality.”

Though I didn’t know its origins. Maekawa-san, who had dismounted her bicycle, shrugged her shoulders.

“Training via tag is quite harsh. It’s a genre I’m not very good at.”

Well, that made sense, considering she even used to just walk through the running portions of PE class. Or rather, maybe it was just plain laziness?

“Maekawa-san, are there any sports you’re good at?”

“Hmm… I was short when I was little, so I was quite good at hide-and-seek.”

Was hide-and-seek considered athletics? Still, it was hard to imagine Maekawa-san being short.

“Something like this…”

I raised my hand to a height level with the top of Maekawa-san’s head and then gradually lowered it. I made it smaller and smaller… until it truly shrivelled. It seemed Maekawa-san went out of her way to bend her knees to match me. I continued to lower the height. I gazed at Maekawa-san, who had become smaller than my own chest and looked quite cramped.

“Stare, stare.”

“That highschooler boy is staring lewdly! The big kid’s sense of shyness suffers a blow!”

“Hey, you little brat, shut up.”

I shouldn’t have bothered replenishing her paper. To repay a kindness with such ingratitude, aliens too lacked a sense of duty and affection.

“…My knees are starting to hurt; look, they’re trembling.”

Why was she flaunting her shaking knees? Well, never mind; I offered my thanks for her help.

“It really is better for Maekawa-san to be tall, after all.”

“Is that so?”

As Maekawa stretched her legs and toyed with her bangs, her cheeks relaxed with a hint of happiness.

“If transfer student says that, well, it’s just… Long live milk!”

She raised both hands in a banzai gesture, though she didn’t seem to have even a shred of enthusiasm.

“Wait, did you grow because you drank milk? How cliché.”

“No, I don’t drink it at all, but, ugh.”

Maekawa-san rolled her eyes because she had carelessly raised both hands. She looked as though she might fall backward, but I wasn’t fast enough to catch her. Just then, Little Smakin ran in at high speed and supported Maekawa-san from behind. Acting as a human stabiliser with her entire body, she let out a heavy “Mofufuuu”.

With a physique like that, even Maekawa-san, who was as thin as a wire, seemed to be a heavy burden.

“Oh, thank you. Despite how you look, you’re quite a kind soul.”

Maekawa-san expressed her gratitude while keeping her hand pressed to her forehead as she remained supported. Little Smakin maintained her posture while performing some frantic ja-ja-ja-ja. Perhaps because her arms were cramped, she dropped a piece of paper from beneath the futon, only to snatch it up and hold it aloft with her toes. Just how dexterous was Little Smakin?

“That’s what everyone says.”

Who exactly was this “everyone”? It was the kind of “everyone” that was no more reliable than the customer testimonials found in mail-order catalogues.

Maekawa-san returned and stood on her own two feet. Then, after Little Smakin pulled the paper inside the futon, Erio, who had remained hunched over, turned toward us. She peered back and forth, comparing our faces.

“Did something happen?”

“Hmm. Various things happened in a place that has nothing to do with you.” I wondered if something had actually happened.

“Wh-what is it? Cousin, explain!”

She clung to me like a spoilt child. She was acting like a spoilt child. As I tried to pry her hands off my clothes, Little Smakin answered in my stead. Of course, she did so by holding up a sign.

“The era of the late (Provisional) Master is over.”

“Wh-what, you’re casting me out? Don’t underestimate your Master.”

“You can’t become a space pilot after all.”

“…Eh?”

Erio froze. Maekawa-san and I exchanged glances, while in that brief moment, Little Smakin moved.

Ja-ja-ja-ja, it was cruelly fast and utterly dispassionate.

“At my age, it’s still easy, but at (provisional) Master’s age, it’ll probably be impossible.”

In spite of her appearance, Little Smakin thrust “reality”. Upon Erio. She thrust it upon a girl who had already lost so much. The very air of the park shifted. A certain sense of logic began to weave through Little Smakin’s ridiculous appearance. It was as if a soft futon had suddenly hardened and calcified into a massive wall.

“You no longer even have the right to dream.”

Little Smakin continued, almost as if taunting her. Erio watched her words, tracking them from the far left of the screen without even blinking. Before Erio could finish reading, Little Smakin yanked the paper away and, with a swiftness that suggested it had been premeditated, sent the next message.

“I can’t exactly go around calling someone like that Master. It’s honestly ridiculous. Heh, heh, heh,” Little Smakin sneered. It was probably that sort of laugh.

Setting aside the matter of being a master or not, her observation was correct. For Erio, the dream of becoming an astronaut had lost its possibility. It was an ordinary truth that befell everyone, just as the dreams we imagined back in elementary school eventually vanish without ever being realised. It was simply that Erio’s moment had arrived.

It was such an obvious fact that it was rare for anyone to point it out so pointedly. Because of that, I grew a little worried about Erio and peered into her face. Erio clenched her fists tightly, her light blue eyes fixed straight ahead.

She looked as if she were about to burst into tears, making me want to call out to her as I watched. Just as I was about to utter some sort of words of comfort, Erio’s lips parted before I could.

She muttered her defiance to Little Smakin.

“I can do it.”

Erio’s lips moved just like that. It was fragile, yet certain, as if vibrating the very particles of the air.

Short, staccato sounds, varying in pitch like the faint fluttering of wings, joined together to form a voice.

She projected those words forcefully against the walls of the white futon.

“I am going to become an astronaut, too.”

Erio declared it, as if in competition.

In that moment, I felt as though something enveloping us had “twisted”.

It wasn’t as if the air had changed or the flow of the moment had shifted, as such things were impossible. And yet, it felt as though it had been forcibly contorted, as if tracing the shape of a manji. It was as if logic had been kicked aside, and time itself had begun to move.

As if the scene had been forced into motion.

Amidst that sensation of displacement, my eyes widened, and I stared at her young yet fierce profile.

Wasn’t it just impossible? I swallowed those words.

“Starting now?”

“Starting now!”

Perhaps caught up in the moment, Erio spoke with a forceful conviction. I wondered if she really should have been so definitive.

“Hoh. Well, good luck with that, I guess, (provisional) Master.”

Her attitude showed she didn’t believe it for a second. I wondered where that hostility from Little Smakin toward Erio even originated. Though Erio faltered under the brunt of that malice, she refused to back down.

“Cousin. I’m going to become one.”

She asserted herself once more, as if making me her witness.

She pressed her advantage, planting her feet firmly against the ground.

It was as if she were walking through a reality that felt like a wasteland, left behind after a dream had melted away.

…Ah, she was barefoot again.

I realised it just then and furrowed my brow, thinking how troublesome that was. However, the tension in the air eased just a little.

“A-anyway, we’re playing tag today.”

“Sounds good,” I told Little Smakin, as if to instil the idea. Little Smakin expressed her agreement, saying, “That’s fine with me.” Since yesterday, aside from running, no other training for being an astronaut had taken place.

“…I wonder if playing tag could even serve as a warmup.”

Would it lead to the kind of flapping wings needed to reach space?

Did space still hold a meaning for Erio that went beyond simply something to look up at?

…Regardless, I had a feeling that things had begun to move in a strange direction.

Yes, exactly toward something like “Ending No. 1”.

“Ah, my phone is ringing.”

It was calling to me from deep within the bag shoved into my bicycle basket. That electronic chime felt as though it instantly relaxed the tense atmosphere, allowing the stiffness in my shoulders to fade. I trotted over to it and pulled out the phone. It stopped ringing halfway through because it was just an email. I checked the sender. “Ugh.”

It was an email from Meme-san. Ever since Erio had started carrying a cell phone, most of her emails had been concentrated towards her, so it had been a long time since I had received one addressed to me. It wasn’t as if I felt nostalgic or anything. I opened the body of the message.

“→”

It ended with nothing but a single arrow.

“What is this? Did she butt-dial me?”

I wondered if she had sent it by mistake while she was still writing. Even if it had been finished, it likely wouldn’t have made any sense. I couldn’t scroll through the text, even though it pointed downward. I turned around, thinking that I had no idea what was going on, when Meme-san “Gyaaa!” My heart experienced a shock, thrill, and emotion so great it could have drawn a crescent moon (I was in a state of confusion).

My vision grew dizzy and chaotic. Waves surged as if colourful rings were leaping into my eyes.

“It seems you were quite fluttered by your sudden reunion with Meme-chin, Mako-kun.”

If a person were flustered, would they let out a scream with voiced consonants like “Gyaaa”?!

And don’t just show up whenever you want just because you want some screen time!

“Give some kind of indication, some kind of omen, and be gentle on my heart!”

“Hey, I gave you plenty of warning.”

She pointed at my cell phone, nudging it as if to say, “Look, look.” So the arrow in that email meant “behind you”, did it? I mean, come on, it wasn’t like it was a 3D image; how was I supposed to know? Ugh, my chest ached. I bit my lip to endure the pain, knowing that if I spoke aloud, she would start preaching something like, “That is Mako-kun-kun in love.” In the meantime, Erio came scurrying over.

“Welcome home, Mom.”

“Ohhh, my healing presence has arrived!”

She threw her arms around her with a squeal. Erio’s eyes went wide, and she shook her head as if checking on me and Maekawa-san. It seemed she found it a bit embarrassing to be embraced by her mother in front of someone her own age.

Oh, so you do possess a sense of shame? I gazed intently with that realisation as I stared at her intently.

“Uh, uhm, Mum. I was thinking, about, becoming, an astronaut.”

“Oh my, you have such a wonderful dream. Mommy will cheer you on.”

She accepted her daughter’s unexpectedly serious announcement with complete nonchalance. It was a reaction that was truly characteristic of Meme-san.

Perhaps she just didn’t take it seriously. No, that wasn’t likely with this woman.

After finishing the ritual of grinding her chin and the rest of her face against her daughter, Meme-san released Erio from her arms. As if waiting for that exact moment, Little Smakin scurried over to Meme-san. And then, Smakin demonstrated a complete lack of learning ability.

“Hello, old lady.”

“Oh, what a polite little thing.”

With a bright smile, Meme-san grabbed a handful of the area near Little Smakin’s head. Tendons strained against the back of her hand as Little Smakin’s legs suddenly began to flail.

“Meme-chin is so moved! ☆ A reward for that rotten brain, I mean, that clever head! ☆”

“Gyaaaaaah!”

If she had time to write such a scream on paper and hold it up, she really should have put that effort into running away. She actually looked quite composed, so I decided to leave her be, assuming she wouldn’t need any help. I proceeded to ask what her business was.

“What are you here for?”

“Meme-chin is going back to her childhood and playing tag!”

I truly doubted whether there was any need for her to return to such a state. And more importantly, how did she know we were all gathered in this park?

…Ah, from Erio from earlier. She seemed to have been preoccupied with her phone, with her back turned toward us.

“You certainly have plenty of energy, considering you skipped work.”

When I voiced my sarcasm, Meme-san puffed out her cheeks, though she clearly wasn’t offended in the slightest.

Don’t try to act cute.

“No way! I wasn’t skipping. I was doing something that only Meme-tan can do!”

“Hoh?”

I responded in a monotone, having absolutely no intention of taking her seriously. Then, Meme-san leaned in close and began to speak as if she were sharing a secret. Her face was far closer than necessary, and her voice was unnecessarily loud, though.

“Actually, the Great Detective Meme-tan has been doing some investigating during her breaks from work.”

“The ‘tan’ part makes the rhythm unpleasantly clunky.”

My criticism failed to land with the forty-year-old who had fled her workplace. She simply brushed it off.

“I searched for any rumours regarding an elementary schooler wrapped in a futon, but it seems there are none.”

I looked down at Little Smakin, who still held me in a tight grip and refused to let go. No one in town knew that Little Smakin was writhing like a shaving of dried bonito on a hot griddle. This meant that she had only recently wrapped herself in a futon. Or perhaps she had only recently arrived on Earth. Just kidding.

“Besides, there’s really no point in whispering when the subject of conversation is standing right here.”

“Don’t worry, I’m taking care to make sure the Earthlings don’t find us.”

“Look, they’ve joined the conversation.”

I was just about to suggest that since she seemed so composed, she should try to tighten things up a little more.

“I heard everything you were saying!”

“Whoa!”

Suddenly, the person who had been shouting under the bench slithered into view. To be precise, they tried to appear, but they bumped their head and feet against the leg of the bench, resulting in a rather clumsy entrance, complete with cries of, “Ow, that hurt!” and “I went *thud*; my elbow hit really hard!” After rolling around on the ground and thoroughly dirtying her best clothes (?), Hoshimiya Yashiro stood up. I wondered if it was just my imagination, but I felt like her frequency of appearances around me had been increasing lately. Given who this was, I couldn’t entirely rule out the possibility that she was sensing some kind of omen. Even if it was highly unlikely. After all, this was someone who advocated for evolution at the speed of light.

“This time it’s your turn, huh? Why don’t you ever have the spirit to just meet up with us like a normal person?”

“It is only because your attention is so scattered that you failed to notice. You need to learn to take a more bird’s-eye view of the world, Makoto.”

I wondered if it was even possible. The visor of the girl, who was acting like my mentor without permission, cast a dull shadow.

“So, I’ll ask just in case, but what were you doing in a place like this?”

“I presume we are playing tag?”

“Huh? We aren’t even having a coherent conversation, but fine. Are you saying you want to join in too?”

“Heh heh, I suppose I shall return to my childhood whims every once in a while. You should feel honoured that I am lowering myself to your level.”

The girl, who wasn’t much shorter than Little Smakin, declared her participation in the game with an incredibly haughty air. It also occurred to me just then that she was clutching a hundred-yen coin in her right hand. Had she been on her way to the candy shop?

“Wait, are we actually doing this?”

“I have a much more efficient way to return to outer space, you know. Heh, heh, heh…”

Setting aside Yashiro’s delusions as she began to laugh eerily, it seemed she intended to participate. I had no reason to refuse, of course.

I looked back at the group of eccentric individuals and gave a bitter smile, thinking that things were starting to get out of hand.

It was a heavy-hitting lineup. There was my tall classmate; a self-proclaimed alien in a spacesuit; my cousin who emitted particles; and a girl wrapped in a futon whose true identity was unknown. And to top it all off, my aunt. It was absurd that my aunt was the final trump card, yet it was so deeply strange that it felt almost natural, which was a depressing thought. The very concept of normal simply didn’t exist among this crowd. As I suspected, that person wasn’t here.

“Heyyyy, Ryuuko Thunder! Ryuuko Thunder is here!”

“Oh my, the long-awaited normal person has arrived.”

Ryuushi-san arrived, riding her bicycle while waving both arms like wings in an extremely dangerous display of hands-free riding. It was a certain kind of skilful manoeuvre. However, despite her movements being far more energetic than the previous two, her entrance was quite subdued, which brought a sense of relief. This was exactly how Ryuuko Thunder was supposed to be. That yellow helmet was not just for show.

“Hm?”

Erio pulled up alongside me. Then, she lifted her nose with pride. She let out a sudden burst of particles in the process.

“I called her over. B-by email. Ta-da!”

“Yeah, yeah, good girl, good girl.”

I had heard enough about her bragging over her cell phone. I pushed her hand back along with the phone. Then, I stopped my bike to face Ryuushi-san, who had ridden up with long strides. Perhaps because she had been in such a rush, she was still wearing her yellow helmet.

“Niwa-kun, you’re so mean!”

“Is that a greeting or an accusation?”

“Both! You’re so mean, leaving Ryuuko-san out again!”

“Everyone is here, though,” I said, pointing to the others. What did she mean by “again”? As I wondered about that, I said, “Sorry, sorry.” At that moment, Maekawa-san, who had been keeping her distance until now, came and sat down next to me.

“Oh my, Ryuushi, you ended up coming after all. What about your club activities?”

“I told ya, I’m Ryuuko. I’ve run my heart out in club activities, so that’s enough for me. I did extremely well.”

She began praising herself. While I watched Ryuushi-san engaging in this bit of self-service with a cynical smile, Maekawa-san spoke to me.

“I’m completely outclassed by your network, transfer student. You certainly know how to gather an impressive crowd.”

“Thank you, though I don’t feel much like a winner.”

A dry laugh escaped my lips: “Ha ha ha.” As I looked back and thought that this was the result of my six months here, I felt a profound emotion… well, maybe. Perhaps that emotion was about fifty percent due to the aura my cousin was radiating by my side.

“Ryuushi or something, hi.”

It was a greeting made of creaking, unlubricated movements. Ryuushi-san responded just as awkwardly.

“I-I told ya, I’m Ryuuko. Hi.”

“I-I called you.”

“I-I came.”

The two of them acted like a man and a woman who had just started becoming aware of one another. If they were going to do that sort of thing, they should do it with me. I also wished they would stop interacting while using me as a human wall between them. It was somehow exhausting.

“S-so, what is everyone doing gathered at the park? Playing hide-and-seek?”

“No, tag. Because Erio said she wanted to play.”

Besides, hide-and-seek would have been far too advantageous for the eccentric duo Meme-san and Yashiro.

“N-no, I didn’t. We’re just doing tokkun, it’s not playing!”

I watched Ryuushi-san’s reaction while lightly pressing down on Erio’s head as she let out a low groan. Ah, she laughed.

“He he, tag? Oh my, Niwa-kun and you all are more childish than I thought.”

I figured that the person who first thought of “Park = Hide-and-seek” was likely on the same level.

“Then, Ryuushi-san, do you want to just watch us?”

“…Well, you see, Ryuuko-san needs to return to her inner child at least once a month, too.”

Just how much do you all want to return to your childhood?

Besides, tag? When I thought about it calmly, I felt like, “What even is this?” A handful of high schoolers, a forty-year-old adult, and a self-proclaimed alien of unknown age, all gathered together to play tag? It made no sense at all.

However, this was likely one of the few times this particular group would gather in one place to do something like this.

Youth Points lacked a certain poetic charm, but as far as memories went, it was more than enough.

And so.

“…I guess I have no choice.”

Shall we all play tag and head out into space?

Taking this moment as an opportunity to return to my childhood self.

Shall we all play tag and head out into space?

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• Ryuushi-san’s chest area doing all sorts of things: +2
• Went to a Japanese sweets shop with Maekawa-san after school: +1
• Erio declared she would become an astronaut: ±0

Current Total Youth Points: −4

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