Denpa Onna to Seishun Otoko:Volume8 Chapter3-A

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Chapter 3-A – Chasing and Being Chased

Someone who actually fulfilled their childhood dreams. Did such a person really exist?

I wondered if the reason I had never met anyone like that was simply because I was still a child.

It was 4:30 in the afternoon, and I found myself thinking such things while running around the park.

Let’s revert back in time a few dozen minutes earlier.

“Who’s going to be It?”

We had to decide that before we started running. Tag without an “it” was nothing more than just a race.

“Everyone is It.”

Erio answered instantly. I stared at her with half-lidded eyes, exasperated.

“Don’t you think you’ve misunderstood the whole point of tag?”

It wasn’t a game about pretending to be an ogre. I imagined that if we actually started doing something like that, Maekawa-san would come charging in dressed in a red ogre cosplay. I pictured it… not bad. In fact, it was even…

“I-I know that! Just listen to my suggestion!”

Erio raised her hand, letting out a mysterious, drawn-out sound. Since she looked like she wanted to say something, everyone present surrounded her, even though it served no real purpose. Between the presence of the spacesuits and the Smakin, combined with how closely everyone was standing, the atmosphere felt incredibly intimidating. Even I, as one of those surrounding her, felt a sense of suffocation. It felt as though someone might break into a low-voiced rendition of Kagome Kagome at any second.

“U-Ugh. Wh-what?”

Erio recoiled. The girl, unaccustomed to such high density of people, was visibly trembling with fear.

“E-ri-tan, let’s p-la-ay.”

Meme-san leaned forward, letting all her hair fall over her face to hide it, and leaned into the bit. It wasn’t even just for the bit; she was usually like this anyway. Her voice, adjusted to a low, eerie pitch, trembled ever so slightly. Even I would have been startled if something like that had quietly crept into my room in the middle of the night. Actually, I would tremble even if Meme-san just jumped in normally. Fundamentally, the actions this person came up with were always beyond my expectations.

“I-It’s not playing. It’s tokkun.”

Erio, who had crouched down on the spot, offered a weak rebuttal. The lineup felt as though Erio was being put through some kind of special training. In an attempt to overcome her social anxiety, it felt like we had… gathered far too many people with diverse personalities.

As I looked at the dirt-caked spacesuit next to her.

“So, what’s it about?”

“Um, it’s a game of tag where everyone is chasing a different person. You win if you catch someone else.”

“Hmm… So, basically, I chase Erio, and Erio chases Meme-san… something like that?”

“Mm. An original version of tag, conceived by Erio-san over a period of ten years.”

I felt as though countless similar games had been invented during the decade she had spent thinking about it.

However, if Erio herself was pushing for it so strongly, then I suppose it was fine. “Alright, dismissed,” I signalled with my eyes.

“Man, it’s been a while since I played tag.”

Everyone easily broke their circle, and each person began stretching. Squatting, they said.

“B-Bullying. That was bullying. Bullying of Cousin, by Cousin, for Cousin.”

“Why am I being both the mastermind and the victim in a single sentence?”

I laughed it off with a “Ha, ha, ha.” Yashiro joined in, laughing along with me, “Ha ha ha”.

Well, if Erio was now able to join in on jokes like these, I suppose it was a sign of progress.

And so, after everyone agreed on the rules for a game of tag and spent some time debating who should chase whom, today’s special training finally began.

Running headlong toward one’s dreams. How wonderful; it truly felt like the essence of youth… Though, I wondered, which dream was it exactly?

I looked back without breaking my stride. The sounds of various footsteps, tap-tap-tap, thud-thud-thud, and all that, echoed against the ground.

“…………”

I was being chased. I was being chased incredibly hard. Specifically, by everyone. Well, that was a bit too specific.

First, Erio was pursuing me at full speed. That part was fine; it was exactly how a game of tag was supposed to be. The problem was what followed behind her. Meme-san was chasing after Erio’s back. With her arms raised in a predatory stance, she closed in on me with everything she had, completely indifferent to air resistance or anything else. Following Meme-san, who looked like she was striking a Glico pose, was Little Smakin. She was sprinting at full power with her short legs. Then Yashiro, Ryuushi-san, and Maekawa-san were clinging close to that group. It had become a formation chasing me in a straight line. To be precise, only Maekawa-san was just wandering around the centre of the park, but as a result, she ended up positioned at the very back. How happy we would have been if we could have just wandered around like that, too.

Once I had started running, I couldn’t find the right moment to stop, and my lower body was moving on autopilot. The sweat that welled up clung to my skin and the back of my uniform, which was incredibly unpleasant. It felt as though I was constantly being pulled from behind. My footsteps continued to ring out in a disjointed rhythm, never ceasing. I wondered what on earth I was doing.

Was this a game of tag? I had to catch Maekawa-san, but there was no opening for me to turn back. It had been a mistake to run straight ahead without thinking when Erio first chased me. Since then, I had merely been the leader of a straight line of pursuers. A mysterious procession was forming within the park, and I was at the very front of it.

“Wait! Cousin and Astronaut!”

“Your father is crying! Because your sister is too magnificent!”

“Mofufuffu!”

“Don’t run ahead of the path I am trying to take! …Hm? Dé-ja-vu.”

“Whoa, wait, who even is this kid in the spacesuit? I told ya!?”

“Hey everyone, I’d like to propose a game of walking tag! What do you say?”

I’ll leave it to your imagination to decide who said which line. Well, actually, they were spoken in order.

I was the only one who wasn’t shouting. I simply pushed my body forward, as if using my elbows to part the wind. While my lower body moved on autopilot, my upper body was quite literally manual. I swung my arms. Driving them powerfully in sync with my steps. However, no matter how much strength I wrung from myself, I couldn’t pull significantly ahead of the others; that was likely the extent of my limit.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had run alongside everyone for such a long stretch.

Since I spent all my time on the bench during my soccer days, this might have been a first for me. My breath grew heavy and bouncy, and sweat flowed so incessantly it felt bothersome against my chest. I stripped off my outer layer and flung it onto the ground.

Running presented a different landscape from cycling. When riding a bicycle at full speed, one could feel as if they were flying through the sky. It was, for better or worse, a weightless sensation. On the other hand, with my own two feet, I could never escape the feeling of treading upon the earth, as if struggling through the mud. My fingertips, which I gripped tight, would begin to unfurl before I knew it, as if struggling to use the wind as a handle to achieve even greater speed.

Back when I still held onto my dreams, if I had continued to immerse myself in this world… If I had been able to stay in a place where I could gain something by running with all my might… If I hadn’t abandoned my dreams myself, would I still have been able to chase them?

A haze began to gather in my heart. Like encroaching clouds, it enveloped me and clouded my thoughts. The people behind me were teaching me, through their very actions, exactly what was needed to sweep that haze away all at once.

I thought that I, too, would scream.

“Where did my Youth Points gooo! AaaaaaaAAAAaaaaAAAaaahhhh—!”

At the end of that bone-wrenching scream, the taste of iron surged up from my throat, making the corners of my lips twitch.

As the haze vanished from within, I inhaled deeply, trying to fill the resulting void with oxygen.

“It is hot. O-ver-he-at.”

“I see. Take off the futon.”

“I am being stubbornly told to undress.”

“The fact that you can even have a conversation like that means you’ve still got plenty of energy left.”

Even though I was so breathless that even opening my mouth felt like a chore. I sat slumped on the ground of the park, my chin tilting upward. My shoulders heaved violently, and perhaps due to the trapped heat, a headache began to set in.

Little Smakin lay slumped beside me. Without a second thought, she had cast the futon aside and settled right onto the bare earth.

“Th-there was no point in running away from club activities after all. Or maybe there was.”

Ryuushi-san stood with her hands pressed against her knees, catching her breath. Being an athlete, it didn’t seem like she had reached her physical limit. She began to take off her helmet, but her hands paused.

“It’s so hot and humid. I wonder if my hair will end up with a perm if I just keep wearing it like this.”

Ryuushi-san let her whole body go limp with a groan. After performing a movement reminiscent of a piece of bonito flake dancing on a hot griddle, she sought my opinion, asking, “What do you think, Niwa-kun?” I felt like asking her how I was even supposed to answer that.

“I think you’ll just end up smelling like sweat.”

Maekawa-san interjected from the side, having spent some time wandering about on her own little stroll.

“Hmm, is that so? On one hand, there’s the New Easy Perm Ryuuko-san, and on the other, The Sweat-Soaked Ryuuko-san. I feel like the probability of either occurring is fifty-fifty. How agonising.”

With both hands pressed against her helmet, Ryuushi-san turned with a wobbly, serpentine motion. Ryuushi-san’s actual hair was permed. Since sweat was also trickling down as well, it was the best of both worlds… What exactly was the “best” part about the sweat? Even as she said it, she didn’t understand what she meant. The smell? No!

“Ugh… guffe… gufo…”

It was Yashiro who lay spread-eagled on her back, clearly in genuine distress. It was all because she had been running around energetically in an outfit that looked like it had the worst possible ventilation. She began to rise sluggishly, her breathing so heavy it nearly obscured the beautiful face beneath. It was as if a small bear lying in the grass was slowly propping up its upper body.

“This primitive method simply won’t do. I have no choice but to activate my grand plan.”

“What even is this plan?”

“Fu fu fu… Since your petty imagination could never possibly conceive of it, I shall be kind enough to enlighten you.”

“Just spit it out already. Not that I actually care; I’m just asking.”

She kicked me in the shin. Before I could even react to the pain, Yashiro spread her short arms wide.

“It is a perfectly rational plan to build a spaceship myself!”

“………………Idiot,” I muttered, though it seemed she didn’t hear me.

“Khehehe, after all, I have ridden in a spaceship before, so I can certainly build something better than those Earthlings. Kyaa, is Yashiro-san smart? Yes, yes, she is, she is.”

“Who are you even talking to?”

I took a step back from Kibayashiro, who was getting worked up while shaking her shoulders. I figured I would just let her stay immersed in her own little world. When I looked up and scanned the area, my eyes met Little Smakin’s. Well, not eyes, she couldn’t actually see. But she was probably looking this way. Then, she held up a message.

“My throat is thirsty for juice.”

“Hey, there’s a very blunt demand stuck in the middle of that. Leave that kind of thing to working adults.”

She pointed at Meme-san. Running around as if she were much younger, Meme-san had ended up sprawled face-down on the bench. Running around as if she were much younger, Meme-san had ended up sprawled face-down on the bench. Gross.

“Cousin, you’re forgetting about the other working adult.”

Erio approached with quick, light steps and pointed to her own face ostentatiously. Someone who couldn’t even open a juice cap by herself was a working adult? I tilted my head in confusion, but Little Smakin’s reaction was even faster.

“Kyaa, (provisional) Master is so reliable!”

Contrary to her appearance, she seemed quite adept at navigating the world. With a rapid pitter-patter of feet, she rushed over and collided with Erio. Was she intending to hug her with that move? Erio, seemingly not displeased at all, bumped her back with a “thump”. I wondered why, but then I remembered Ryuushi-san had been doing something similar just the other day.

“I’ll have orange juice.”

I tried to deflect with a joke, asking, “Oh, so you’re Orange Juice-san?” Erio simply accepted it with an “Mm”. When she pulled out a wallet bulging with coins, I realised she was going to treat me.

“What about you, Cousin?”

“Mm, ah, then a coffee. A sweet one.”

That was the request I instinctively made. When it came to a park and soft drinks, that was just how it went.

Good grief, coffee is sweet, but memories are bittersweet… I wondered why things had turned out this way during middle school.

When we parted ways after the school festival, we hadn’t even exchanged contact information. I suppose that was just like us, though.

“Transfer student, you’re having coffee? Hmm, perhaps I shall have that as well.”

“Then, then, I’ll have a coffee too… ugh, with lots of sweetness.”

Others decided to tag along. Maekawa-san and Ryuushi-san. Maekawa-san ordered normally, but Ryuushi-san did so while pinching the flesh on her upper arm. I’ll leave you to imagine what that movement implied.

“Are you really okay with such an unoriginal choice?”

“Well, I thought if I ordered a lot of different things, Touwa wouldn’t be able to keep track. So I just grouped them together.”

“M-me too, exactly!”

“D-don’t make fun of me!”

Erio cried out in indignation. Then, she lunged at Ryuushi-san. Ryuushi-san raised both her hands and met the impact with a loud, “Bam!” These people had far too much energy, despite having run so much. I watched their interaction, which resembled puppies playing, with a sense of exasperation. Naturally, a smile spread across my lips. Maekawa-san wore a similar expression.

“H-u-r-r-y-u-p!”

Yashiro was thumping the ground with her fists. I wondered how she managed to stretch out that final syllable all on its own.

“(Provisional) Master is being slow,” Little Smakin added. Erio stopped her play with Ryuushi-san after being taunted by the self-proclaimed alien group. The two of them glared at each other with intense concentration for about two seconds before pulling apart.

Taking advantage of that moment, Yashiro held up a hundred-yen coin and spoke to Erio.

“The usual.”

“Hmm.”

I wondered if they could even communicate like that. Just how much time did she spend loitering at the Tamura store? And besides, what exactly was “the usual”?

“What about Mum?”

“I’ll have rejuvenation water…”

“Hm?”

“I want apple juice!”

Her tone had regressed into something painfully childish. Nodding with an “Alright,” Erio dashed out of the park with quick, light steps. Meme-san, who had revived, chased after her, crying, “I’m coming too!” Did that mother and child still not have enough of playing tag? I watched them go and laughed when Erio was eventually preyed upon, I mean, tackled, along the way.

Ryuushi-san adjusted her clothes, which had become dishevelled from the tackle, then moved in front of Little Smakin. She swayed her body from side to side, peering down with a “ho, ho, ho” sound. Little Smakin gave a small, polite bow.

“Oh, how polite. Are you the rumoured child?”

“I am what they call a child of the sun.”

Hey, she had never once mentioned a setting like that until now. What did she mean by “what they call”?

“You’re such a tiny thing. Where are you from?”

“You’re such a tiny thing. Where are you from?”

“I am a Futonese from outer space.”

“Ouch, that hurt!”

She brushed it off with a “tee-hee” kind of smile. She seemed quite used to dealing with this sort of thing. Was it because of Erio?

“But being tiny makes you kind of cute. Touwa-san was more creepy-cute, though.”

“You flatter me.”

“…What exactly does ‘cute’ mean to a girl?”

I posed this question, which I had grappled with many times before, to Maekawa-san. She simply shrugged.

“As far as I’m concerned, even transfer student is cute enough.”

“No, no, I can’t compete with you, Maekawa-san.”

I laughed brightly. At that, Maekawa-san turned bright red all at once. As if she had been set on fire.

“Eh? … Ah, yes. Thanks, is that how it is? Is that so?”

Maekawa-san looked down with a solemn expression, rubbing the tip of her nose, which had become all stuffy. Witnessing such a reaction made me feel the heat as well. The faint redness on her cheeks was beautiful.

“Wheee Wheeeee! Activating Enforcer Ryuuko-san mode! Come on, tighten up!”

“Gueeeh…”

I tried to tighten up. Everything up to that point had been a joke, but then Ryuushi-san’s hand reached out and pinched my eyelid. She pinched it along with the flesh beneath my eye, forcing it shut. It wasn’t so much tightening as it was closing.

“Niwa-kuuuun you’re waaay, waaay, waaay, waaay, waaay too relaxed, what should I do, he’s so cute, what should I doooo. Mifune, Ryuuko-saaaan.”

“What’s with that parody song?”

“Oh, you don’t know it? Hmph, maybe it was only a regional thing? Well then, verse two…”

Ryuushi-san sang cheerfully, all while keeping my eyes squeezed shut. In the end, she hadn’t taken off the yellow helmet. It seemed she had decided to gamble on the possibility of a quick, easy perm. Even if it failed, if it was the sweaty Ryuuko-san, I would accept it. What did I mean by accept it? I didn’t even know why I was clenching my fists.

Sometimes, my own instincts frightened me.

“You two really should be worrying about this little one before you get shut down. See? How strange,” Ryuushi-san said, pointing toward Little Smakin. Upon being called strange, the strange thing moved.

“Is everyone interested in me?”

“Not really as far as I’m concerned. I am quite used to seeing your kind.”

Yashiro interjected. Though, I was certain I was even more accustomed to seeing Smakin than she was.

“It cannot be helped; I shall tell you my secret.”

I hadn’t asked to hear it.

“You’re just going to announce some improvised setting you just thought of, aren’t you?”

It was plain to see she was itching to talk.

“The truth is, I bear the heavy responsibility of returning the aliens currently on Earth back to space.”

“It is a heavy burden, indeed, a heavy destiny.”

“However, despite coming here specifically for that task, a mistake prevented them from returning.”

“How troublesome.”

“But it is still too early for the aliens on Earth; it’s a matter of time.”

“There is a fear that the true history of Earth might be altered.”

“How very troublesome indeed.”

“But since I must act in secret, this must remain a secret from the aliens.”

At last, Little Smakin, who had been talking incessantly, finally stopped moving.

“…Is that a happy ending, then?”

“The Prologue has ended, so we shall proceed to Chapter One.”

“Stop it.”

Without a moment’s delay, I restrained Little Smakin, who continued to pour out streams of gibberish one after another, as if flipping through the pages of a paper drama.

“What happened to the invader settings?”

“That was merely a temporary form used to commemorate the past.”

“Well, I’d like to commemorate with you right now.”

So please, just hurry up and go back to the past… Good grief, honestly. After Erio, there was Yashiro. And while Yashiro was still around, there was Little Smakin. I was constantly surrounded by Denpa Onna.

It was as if some great will or meaning directed it all. Full-blown convenience.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!”

Meme-san returned, laughing loudly with a “Gehahahaha!” as if she were having the time of her life. Erio was with her, too.

“I’m soooorry, but they didn’t have any rejuvenation water!”

“I didn’t need you to report that to me.”

You’re the only one I’m looking for, at least for now.

“But look! If you mash the apple juice button, they all turn into apple juice! We did it!”

“Hey, aren’t you apologising for the wrong thing?”

“Bingo!”

“Don’t get so excited!”

Everything really was apple juice. Since I was the one being treated, I didn’t complain to Erio, but I glared at Meme-san. Moreover, whenever I tried to snatch the apple juice she was holding, she would dodge. She flitted away like a moth dancing around a streetlamp. I wondered how she was so skilled at getting under my skin.

“Mako-kun, come and catch me!”

“Then don’t run away!”

“See? Your aunt is just a tsundere.”

“You’re just being an amanojaku”!

I lifted my hips and gave chase to Meme-san in earnest, only to have her truly escape me. There was no way someone like me, a representative of ordinary humans, could ever catch a youkai. In the end, after I had given up on the pursuit, Meme-san, who had grown tired of running, simply began handing out juice. She handed it to me with a bright smile, and I lacked even the energy to snap back at her.

Why did I have to end up spending my time playing an extra round of tag?

As I burnt with resentment, Erio quietly approached and whispered beside me. Gently, as if sharing a secret. In that moment, my resentment, which hadn’t been all that serious anyway, melted away, leaving behind only a slight chill.

Even as the cool breeze blew, that temperature gave me goosebumps.

“Let’s go to space, Cousin.”

“……Kay”

After a series of exchanges that were the exact opposite of our usual interactions, I took a sip from the can of apple juice.

It was sweet and sour, with just a tiny hint of something foreign on the tip of my tongue, which made the taste unforgettable.

It was the very embodiment of the memories I had made in this park.

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• Playing tag with everyone, despite our age: +3

Current total Youth Points: −1

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