Golden Time:Volume1 Chapter1
Golden Time 1: Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Tada Banri ran, half crying.
One o’clock in the morning on a Tokyo street, as usual pitch dark, with no signs of life, not even a light by good fortune placed by a window. During the day today (or rather, yesterday already), in spite of it only being April, it had been so warm he had been wearing only a T-shirt and drinking iced coffee, muttering to himself, "It must be global warming." Now he was shivering from the cold. The sleeves of his hoodie pulled down to his fingertips, his too-unsteady footsteps making a flapping sound from the sandals on his bare feet, anyhow, if he could just get to the main street... He should be able to. He wanted to. With all his heart he ran.
"A young man, turning nineteen this year, running through the streets at night, teary eyed...", he thought. He understood Banri's feelings.
If he were in the same situation, he might cry too.
He had come to the capital together with his mother, who for the sake of her son who was starting a life alone, had arranged for furniture, appliances, gas, water, electricity and so on. She’d gotten through various minor formalities here and there, and then this afternoon (already, so fast!) she’d already returned home in a Hikari bullet train.
And then, finally, he had truly started the first night of his life alone. Only this night kept him from tomorrow morning’s college entrance ceremony. Late at night, as the new day was starting, unable to sleep from the worries, in order to distract himself he did as he supposed any resident of Tokyo would do: he went from one convenience store to another, losing his way in the streets. Worse, it appeared that somewhere, somehow, he had lost the key to his new home. In any case it wasn’t there in his pocket anymore.
Banri’s feet suddenly stopped, and walked all of three steps back the way he’d come. He saw a map of the residence area standing by the edge of the sidewalk. "Saved", he said to himself as he approached, and searched for the apartment building where he now lived, "Motomachi", tracing a route with his finger from "you are here". Anyway, once he had returned to the front of the apartment building, he intended to walk all the way back to the convenience store, searching for his keys.
But… ahh, enough.
If this voice could reach Banri, it would say, "Look more carefully at the map. That 'Motomachi' is the 'Motomachi' in the next district!'" No rather, pulling your hand quickly, it would tell you, "You left them in the apartment in the first place, forgetting to lock up! They're in the room!" Unfortunately, it cannot do that.
For the time being, all I can do is pray for him so that if Banri could just get back to the apartment somehow and get to sleep quickly, then perhaps he would survive tomorrow’s entrance ceremony without problems. Just how important can one day in your life be, this new college student entrance ceremony? Even for me, though--- having become a wandering soul, I understand.
The spirits of men, once they have left their bodies, remain themselves to the end of the world, and to those whom they watch over, their very existence is inconceivable. This side of the world was hidden, so I have only recently found this out.
I am, so to speak, a ghost.
I was formerly known as Tada Banri.
This voice nobody hears, nobody notices my existence.
I just keep watching this new Tada Banri who continues to live, even though I, his spirit, have fallen out of him.
"Young man, at this hour what---, what happened---"
All of a sudden, the living Tada Banri turned his face forward and a light shone straight in his eyes, freezing him like a deer in a car’s headlights.
"Ah, wha... I, I got lost..."
"Do you have a license, a passport, anything with you that can prove who you are?"
"Eh, ah, huh..."
He was being subjected to the first police interrogation of his life. This was going to be a long night. Was this situation a crisis? Was it a gift from god? You can never tell where Banri is concerned.
Anything and everything thrown together, his current state of affairs was one of “Great Trepidations”, thought Banri as he looked around.
The weather, however, was truly excellent.
A snowstorm of cherry blossom petals from the clear blue sky danced around frantically, as they wanted to spend their lives as spectacularly as possible. The auditorium, located amongst a number of old gray office buildings, seemed to welcome the moment of drama.
The scene looked like something from a painting. Cherry blossoms against an April sky. Young people gathering for opening ceremonies. Men and women alike wearing brand new suits and leather shoes, bright smiles breaking out all over the place, anticipating college life. If you’d reached out and touched the edge of that picture, and snipped off the dark corner with a pair of scissors and looked, I’ve got a hunch you’d find my current self in a similar place.
A constant stream of friendly conversations passed before my eyes. The auditorium entrance was beneath the eaves of the building. For the moment, Banri and everybody else had the same brand new suits and the same brand new leather shoes, in their hands they had envelopes with the names of their colleges. With dark circles beneath his eyes from lack of sleep, he didn’t look the typical freshman. His right sideburn curled out at a strange angle and some of the hairs near his ear stuck inside, rustling around, bothering him.
He couldn’t get to sleep until two in the morning. He’d been a wreck since last night.
Getting the idea, in the dead of the night, to go out and buy something, getting lost in the streets of an unfamiliar neighborhood (a rather dumb thing to do), taking time away from a policeman’s duties, explaining his situation and getting sent back to his apartment, with great difficulty getting to sleep, but due to his nerves, he woke up at six in the morning. But it was better than sleeping in late, he thought, as he slowly laid out his clothes while he thawed some rice his mother had put in the freezer, then ate breakfast. After that he took a shower, and dried off his hair while sitting on the bed. That much he did right. His body heated up by the shower, the still brand-new sheets comfortably cool, he had lain down without intending to. He didn’t remember closing his eyes. "Eh... What’d I do now... What the heck...", he said when he realized it was already past nine o’clock. The opening ceremony was to start at ten in the morning.
Jerked awake like a puppet, he fell into a state of panic when he looked in the mirror, his newly washed hair now a mess from having slept on it, but he didn’t have enough time to wash his face again. Somehow he cheated a bit with the dryer, he threw on a suit and flew out of the apartment. In that moment, he was even more on the verge of crying. He got on two trains later than he should have by the schedule, the right shoes on, but the wrong socks. Without even realizing it, he had put on his customary ankle-baring sneaker socks. Indeed, with his stiff new shoes, when he sat, he felt a weird chill around his ankles. He felt helpless.
He dashed from the station, somehow or another arriving at the college entrance ceremony on time. Taking his seat, he composed himself like a perfect freshman while the visitors were welcomed, though he found himself disassociated from the grand occasion, he thought. That wasn’t from lack of sleep, nor from bedhead.
It was because he realized he was entirely alone.
He wasn’t even trying to be observant: the place was noisy the whole time from people talking. It was because everybody else had somebody to talk to. If they’d come up from an affiliated high school, they’d already formed groups of friends, guys and girls together, and if not, they were usually seated with their parents. Usually.
"Parents these days don’t go to college entrance ceremonies!" “That may be so at Toudai, but at this place that’s overdoing it. Everybody's going to think I’m some sort of mama’s boy!" "Absolutely ridiculous!" Parents don’t normally come to college entrance ceremonies! After Banri’s complaints, his mother had returned home the day before. "Just in case, I brought this, OK?", she had said, then put an admission ticket for the ceremony back into her wallet. Whatever. He hadn’t been all that seriously wishing for her not to come. But then he whined absurdly like a little kid, "I don’t want you to come.", in what he thought was a normal parent-child relationship.
And now, having gotten here, already discouraged, but above all feeling guilty of being disloyal to his parents. It weighed heavily on him. He hadn’t even waved. His mother’s back had gone through the Yaesu north entrance ticket gate, disappearing as he saw her off.
Without realizing it, he let his breath out pathetically, as he stood still in the entrance, seeing the hair color of people descending the steps, laughing together.
From where he stood, he could not see anybody else who was alone. He rubbed his eyes with his middle fingers. Maybe it was pollen, or perhaps lack of sleep, but his eyes were itching strangely. A guy who forgot his handkerchief certainly wouldn’t have brought eyedrops with him either.
Things aren’t looking good--- yeah, even from here, it looks like things are going to keep on going badly.
"You gonna ride the train? Or walk?"
"Why bother going up to the station? It just makes me tired. I prefer to walk."
In front of the paralyzed Banri’s eyes, two guys walked by in suits, loosening their neckties.
From the auditorium, he had to make it over to the freshman orientation, one hour later over on his department’s part of campus. Having said that, according to the guide map that had been passed out to them, it was only one station away by subway. Even though he had just arrived in the capitol, that didn’t mean he’d just crept in from the wilderness, nor that he was all that nervous about what he had to do. What was confusing from Banri’s point of view was that the crowd leaving the auditorium, for some reason, was dividing in two.
Perhaps, the people turning north were going to the station. Those going south were walking. With the weather so nice, he wanted to walk, but the walking route wasn’t noted on the map. The memory of last night’s disaster still fresh in his mind, he didn’t want to get lost by himself again in the streets. But if he couldn’t go anywhere by himself… but it figures… he stood there, still hesitating for a while, then Banri finally made up his mind and went down the steps to the street.
He’d normally prefer to walk anyway, but after all that had happened, he simply followed the others. "From this point on we’re a trio!", he whispered to the backs of the two in front of him. The two of them were dressed in slim dark grey suits, just like Banri.
Still lacking the courage to make conversation, Banri followed after them, matching their pace. Though things were a bit uncomfortable right now, eventually their classes and studies would draw them together as friends. He’d say things like "Honestly, I was depressed at the opening ceremony, but then we got together afterwards", and then they would be able to laugh about it all. Banri’s pursuit still unnoticed, the two walked on steadily. At the length the entire crowd of freshmen had flowed out of the auditorium, like a river coming together, then going out into the middle-day town and mixing into the crowds passing by. If you didn’t look too close, you could wind up confusing the freshmen and the businessmen. And,
"Ah, it’s rather hot today, isn’t it? Let’s go get some ice cream."
"Really?"
The right-hand guy spoke on a whim. Staring at the back of the guy’s head, Banri’s eyebrows rose without thinking.
"Really. Why don’t we stop by the next convenience store? I like ice cream."
Now, it looked the guy really wanted to eat some ice cream. With opening ceremony done, from now until the orientation, he would just be watching how much time he had left. "Forget it.", he found himself saying to the guy on the left. Just what he was going to do while those guys ate ice cream, he had no idea.
"Yeah, I’ll have some too. There ought to be a 7-11 around here somewhere."
"Yeah, there was a 7-11. But where was it, I wonder?"
They didn’t hear Banri’s silent message. Leaving the slow stream of passersby, the two turned down a side street. Bidding farewell to that place, when they should have stuck with the other freshmen. Banri should have done so too, but he suffered a lapse in judgment. Going along straight ahead, it wasn’t easy to distinguish freshmen from businessmen right away, so without thinking he had gone along with the two down the side street. "Ah ah ah", Banri’s conscience tried quietly to hurry him, but he ignored it. Those two were saying things like, "Hmm, 7-11, 7-11. Over there? Over here?" Just how those two stayed cool and collected as they went along, he had no idea. Perhaps they were just as lost as he was... he was beginning to suspect both the left guy and the right were lost,
"Ah, it wasn’t a 7-11 after all."
They were in front of a Family Mart.
The two of them entered the store without hesitation, not noticing Banri’s presence yet, who stood there blinking his eyes rapidly from fear. Not knowing what else to do, Banri followed right after them. The two guys went looking for the ice-cream case, pointing up at the magazines, flipping through some. After all of ten seconds, he told himself, "I just want to eat." In order to look normal, he figured he ought to just do the same things those guys were doing. After looking sidelong to make sure two guys had gone to the cash register, ice-cream in hand, putting on his most innocent expression, he peered into the ice-cream case too. Not to waste any time in choosing, he grabbed the first person handy, "Ah... I’d like some ice cream...", making a face while the two paid their bill, standing at the register. However,
"But of course, from here we’ve got orientation, and ice cream could be a real mess. We don’t really have much time left, maybe we should just stop while we’re ahead."
"Well, that may be so. Shall we just go? Excuse me sir, the register is yours, we’re leaving."
"Ehh!?"
The two very politely gave their turn in line to Banri and went back to the ice-cream case. The part-time store-clerk wasn’t even bothered. "Next please", he said, waving Banri forward. Not having any idea what else to do, handed over the ice-cream anyway, got out his wallet, and lacking small change, finally got out a smelly old 10,000 yen bill. "First the larger change", five-thousand, six-thousand, seven-thousand. "Then the small", jingle jingle jingle. Getting back his change took a long time, and by the time he left the store the two had already left.
---What the heck? What am I supposed to do?
Shocked stiff, saying "no thanks" for a bag, he took the ice-cream as it was, and while putting away his wallet Banri left the store in a daze. Wherever he turned to look, he couldn’t spot the forms of the two guys. He calmed down anyway, he still wasn’t lost in the streets, he kept reminding himself. He would return from this place and then, perhaps, get back. As far as he knew, he was fine.
When he looked at it, he realized it was "Gari-Gari-Kun". Whatever, let’s eat. It was after that. Banri shook his head to to clear his panicky mind, then unwrapped his ice-cream. The soda-colored bar was tough yet, too frozen, so he’d been putting off biting into it until it warmed. But then he realized.
He took a looong breath.
"...How many times? ...What am I doing..."
What an idiot.
By the time he had realized it, the likely-to-be-important orientation was within thirty minutes or so. With no idea where he was, he was eating his ice-cream alone in front of the convenience store. He just didn’t understand the state of affairs of that stupid person whose form was reflected in the mirror mounted on the ID-picture machine across the street from the store.
In a dark grey suit, with a large light-green envelope. In his hand was a light blue popsicle. The hair drooping over his ruddy cheeks, he thought, was lighter than he expected. Nonetheless, even biting into the ice-cream, the features themselves looked much more refined than he had previously realized. This time though, Banri thought, "Wow. If I look at myself objectively enough...", hand on his chin.
"...Whaa?"
He noticed that the image in the mirror wasn’t moving together with him. Like a fool exposed, he turned around.
What was reflected in the photo-ID machine’s mirror wasn’t himself.
Dressed in a similarly colored suit, holding the same envelope at his side and eating the same ice cream was another person. They both looked away at once. Of course, Banri raised his eyes again and looked at the guy, who was doing the same. Whatever else he might think, he was a freshman at the same college. Ignoring him would be unnatural. Ehh, what are we doing the same things for, ah, what, maybe he’s going to the same school, right? He wanted to keep things light-hearted, so to speak, so,
"...Huh? Ah? Oo’re ya?"
His mouth wasn’t working too well, chilled by the ice-cream, and only an ambiguous moan was getting out.
Nonetheless, between body language and pointing at the other guy he managed to get the point across,
"Ho...gu..."
The guy, too, while desperately trying to say something around a big mouthful of ice-cream, was looking back at Banri’s face. Holding his fingertip to his mouth while stopping his chewing,
"...Well..., actually, I... the way to the college, I don’t know it very well..."
That more by expressions than by his low voice.
Without thinking, he gave a good long look at the other’s face. Though it was just a for moment, mistaking the guy for himself was completely inexcusable, and the guy had always been ready to face him. A bit taller than Banri, his hair better kept, his suit fit his strong shoulders well.
"I figured I would follow after somebody, so that’s why I wound up walking behind you. …And when you went in there, I thought, 'What am I going to do now? ...Well, why not?... Why not just stick together?'"
"And from there...", the guy waved his ice-cream bar, showing it off.
Without thinking, Banri laughed. "What!?", he said, his voice now coming out naturally and brightly.
"Then really, we were doing exactly the same thing, both of us. I don’t know the way either, and I followed after the wrong guys from the auditorium til I got here! But having wound up here, 'What am I going to do?', I was thinking."
"...Huh? Really?"
"Really. I don’t know the way at all."
Still holding their ice-cream, they looked at each other for several seconds. In the end, they wound up laughing once more. Weren’t they just the pair of oddballs? Laughing each time, clearing their minds as they stuffed their snacks into their stomachs.
"Somehow, an unexpected meeting of similar people. I’m Tada Banri. It means "many fields", referring to my town, but my name isn’t "Mari", but rather "Banri". I'm studying law. You can call me Banri."
"Oh good, I’ll be studying law too. I’m Yanagisawa Mitsuo. The willows are awfully thick by the side of the swamp, light, center of the middle. You don’t have to be formal with me, 'Yana' will do. Did you come here straight from high school?"
"I'm one year late in starting. How about you, Yana-ssan?"
"Yana-ssan? A year older!? ...Really? You don’t look like it, you look fine. I’m straight from high school... but, though, ah, is it OK if I speak casually like this?"
"Of course. I mean, you’re forgiven, really."
"I’m from Shizuoka. Since last night I live by myself. Where ya from?"
"I live close to here, but alone too."
"Noo, freedom! We’re alike! Let’s be friends!"
As if raising a toast, Banri raised his half-eaten Gari-Gari-Kun to the level of his eyes. Yanagisawa raised his too the same way, and then they both finished off their treats. Throwing away the sticks, off they went, and finally before long they were able to return to the main street.
By themselves, after all, it had seemed an arduous journey, but together they weren’t all that concerned. If he got lost in the streets again, wandering around the empty neighborhood in the middle of the night, he would just ask somebody. When he was by himself, he hadn’t thought of doing that.
Chuckling to himself, he gave a sidelong glance at the already overly familiar Yanagisawa.
Because unfortunately there wasn’t anybody to talk with til now, I’d really was rather worried. Because unfortunately there wasn’t anybody to talk with until now, I was getting rather worried. I’d like to think that other people could be my friends, but my loneliness was just getting worse.
"Ah, I was thinking that too. Especially for me, feelings of being away from home are something I’ve had for a long time: since elementary school I’ve being going to an affiliated school."
"You’ve been going to an affiliated school since elementary?"
He nodded when Yanagisawa rapidly muttered the name of his place. Even though Banri was not from Tokyo, he still recognized the name of the prestigious private school. Over the next four years, the two of them would be attending this private university, which should give them every advantage.
"Wha? Really? How come you didn’t just advance to the university!? If you just stay on the escalator it always works out... what? Me, somehow..."
Banri reflexively shut up, stopping himself from running off at the mouth. He couldn’t go there. What a fool he was. He was being insensitive. He didn’t advance, he couldn’t move on, didn’t it seem like? Suddenly being raised from the depths of solitude, without any warning, he could no longer control his nervousness.
"Ex, excuse me...! What I said was wrong... I’m really sorry, I only just realized... Ah, the mood has been awfully strange..."
All these apologies were depressing. This time, still holding his tongue, confused and not knowing what to do, he looked at Banri’s face,
"By no means, though it’s all right. Well, if I tell it, it’s going to be a long story."
Yanagisawa stood there, rubbing his chin with his hand. Again he did it, this time slowly so Banri would notice. Again, slowly. I’ll tell you when we have the chance. By all means, come over for a visit, OK? And if you stay too late, you can even have Bubuzuke. ---Ah!
Tears welling up, he took one step away from Yanagisawa. "Eh, what?", Yanagisawa looked at Banri’s slight smile, still frozen, looking like a fool.
Banri was thinking he’d gone and done it. Last night, before getting lost in the neighborhood, he’d been looking on the net. Amongst tips for college students posted on the site, there was a human-relations item: 'Watch out for people you meet suddenly, that seem too familiar! There are possible landmines!' ...He was a cautious person, but in this situation what should he do? Unable to help himself, he slapped himself once on the head like a comic story teller.
"I’m such an idiot, an idiot landmine... to have thought such things of Yana-ssan, who’s taken so much trouble to become a friend..."
"Huh? What’s up? You feelin’ better now? It’s not that big a deal. It’s not a long dragged out story, ...well, I just didn’t know how I was going to explain it, my having been raised with some troubles regarding relationships with the opposite sex. I was fed up, and needed my space. I wanted a new life as a college student, so I planned to take the outside exam on my own."
<~~38% Completed~~>
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