OniAi: Volume 3 Chapter 6

April 13th, 10:30 A.M.

Student Hostel – Courtyard

I, who’d spent a good amount of time clearing the remaining work, will be heading down to the huge courtyard of the hostel next.

Mainly roses and rhododendrons were grown in the courtyard, that was big enough to hold a mini sports festival. Still, there are other plants there as well, including huge trees such as oak and beech. It’s said that up till ten years ago, there was a lawn and garden of sorts, which would be used to hold events, such as a garden tour, for the nearby residents, during the right seasons.

Needless to say, that was all in the past.

Currently, the place is merely a wasteland filled with weeds, wearing the name ‘courtyard’. I’m in full awe of the sheer will of nature, but, if possible, I do hope it will be slightly more considerate in it’s growth so lush. Back when we first moved into this place, the invasive nature of the weeds was rampant, resulting in quite a few problems when we were trying to secure a place for drying our clothes.

Alright.

The person in charge of the number one most difficult place is vice president Nasuhara Anastasia.

Already, quite some time had passed since the start of spring cleaning. So, how was her progress?

Honestly speaking, this place should be quite difficult to handle. It’s reached the state where I felt it would be more realistic to hire some gardeners to handle it, but there is the rule that says, ‘All residents should try their best to resolve their own problems by themselves.’

Well, Nasuhara did say something like, “Just leave the courtyard to me.” She must have quite some self esteem or self confidence to be say that. Let me take a good look at her abilities then—

While thinking that, I walked into the courtyard.

Nasuhara was sleeping soundly on the dead grass.

“Wadda heck, you goofin’ off?!”

I yelled that in Kyoto dialect without thinking.

From just a brief scan at the scene, it seemed like nothing had been done. What exactly was she doing during the few hours that had passed?

“Hey Nasuhara-san! Nasuhara-san?!”

“… Guu, guu…”

“Whoa, this lass is actually snoring… I say, oi! Wake up! How can a girl sleep in a place like this?! You’ll catch a cold, you know!”

“… Umm… I can eat no more…”

“Just snoring isn’t enough, now you’re actually sleep talking?!”

And that was some horrifyingly old fashioned sleep talk.

From her current looks, one can’t imagine her as the talented beauty who emerged victorious from the school’s beauty contest; it was so bad, she should kneel down and apologize to those who had voted for her.

“Oi Nasuhara Anastasia-san! Wake up!”

“… Munyu munyu…”

“You’re a daughter from a well to do family, and you’re our vice president in the student council too, right?! Please think about stuff like that!”

“Munyu… Ha?”

Nasuhara opened her eyes in a flash. There was finally some sort of response from her.

Her upper body sprang up as though it actually had springs installed below it. She looked left and right for a few times,

“… Ahh. I’ve entered a dazed state unknowingly.”

“No way. It’s not something as cute as being dazed. You were practically sleeping with all your might.”

“That can’t be right. Ultimately, I was just taking a short nap. Please don’t slander me.”

“That’s not slander, alright. Your snoring even shook the skies.”

“Fufu, that’s a really good joke. That an absolute beauty like me would actually snore… I can’t help but laugh just by imagining that scene; that’s a really marvelous combination. That imagination of yours is better than I had imagined.”

“No no. I’s not my imagination. That’s a fact.”

“Alright, I shall award you high praises for that talent of yours. I’ll write a letter of recommendation to the higher ups of the Kyoto Manzai Association. You should go for an audition.”

“… Sometimes, you act as though you have some sort of connection within the circles of the comedy industry.”

Her golden hair and blue eyes, together with a permanently expressionless face.

Also, although she has a wicked tongue, she does know when to act silly.

Eh?

It seemed like I’d stumbled on a rather tantalizing possibility?

“In any case, I’m not joking. You were really snoring.”

“Fufu, so you’re actually trying to force that ridiculously silly position of yours on me. However, that sort of forcefulness is perhaps just what’s needed from you, in the comedy industry of today.”

“So you’re going to continue on with that gag? …”

“As long as you don’t play along with it.”

“So my attempt to be polite has backfired… Oh well. In any case, your snoring is the truth. And not just that, you were sleep talking as well.”

“That’s a really humiliating insult. If you don’t wish to be charged in court, and end up with the verdict of having to compensate me with huge amounts of cash for the damages done against me, then you better start by retracting those imprudent words of yours.”

“No no, that’s not an insult or anything. You really did it.”

“Do you have proof?”

“Proof?”

“Since you’re so insistent on it, you should at least have some sort of proof to substantiate your claims, right?”

Of course I don’t have anything like that. Not to mention, Nasuhara and I were the only ones at this place at the time.

“I see. You have no proof.”

“Indeed, I have no evidence. But the truth is still the truth—”

“Then tell that so called truth of yours to anyone you like, and try to see if they’ll believe you. I, the finest beauty of St. Ririana Academy ever in history, and someone who’s received all sorts of gifted education, actually did something like rudely sleeping in the courtyard of the hostel, accompanied by snoring and sleep talking. Like so.”

“Ugh?”

I shut my mouth after she said that.

I wasn’t too sure of the situation due to me having just transferred over, but it’s without doubt that Nasuhara Anastasia is someone who enjoys the highest appraisals in St. Ririana Academy. She normally gives the impression of a ‘mysterious and intellectual beauty’, so I’d probably be snuffed to my face by everyone if I were to actually do as she’d suggested.

“Hmph. Looks like you’ve finally understood your position. You should be in awe of the difference of trustworthiness between us, like a hierarchy, and just run to a corner and cry your guts out while cursing your poor luck.”

“What’s with that look of detest coming from you… Speaking of which, you said something like, ‘Ultimately, I was just taking a short rest.’, right?”

“Yes. So I did.”

“When exactly did that start?”

“Let’s see. It should have been from about eight in the morning.”

“It’s already ten thirty now, you know?”

That could be considered to be a deep sleep, no matter how you look at it.

“Ten thirty? What an interesting joke.”

“It’s not a joke. You can take a look at my watch.”

“Fufu, so you changed the time on your watch in a desperate attempt to continue with that joke of yours; that’s some pretty impressive resolve from you. I’ll write a letter of recommendation to the higher ups of the Kyoto Manzai Association. You should go for—”

“No, enough of that already.”

“Ara, is that so. What a shame.”

“Continuing on, you’ve been lying dead here since about eight, and it’s currently past ten thirty already. Do you admit that?”

“Well, that’s quite common. Things like your watch displaying the wrong time.”

“Well, my watch just so happens to be a radio controlled watch. It’s said to be accurate right down to a second within a period of ten thousand years.”

“Ara, is that so. Then there must be something wrong with the radio frequency. Or perhaps it’s the laws of the universe that are wrong.”

“That’s a really grand way of pushing away your responsibilities.”

Looks like Nasuhara won’t admit her mistakes, no matter what happens.

Then again, there’s actually no reason for me to be going through all this. I could have easily obtained the correct time from a brief check.

“… Well, let’s end the topic here.”

“Since you’ve put it that way, then let’s just leave it at that. Even though I’m perfectly fine continuing on that topic for a few more hours, judging from your abilities, it’s indeed too cruel to expect that from you.”

“What’s with that look of grace and superiority coming from you… Ugh, well, in any case, can you please brief me on the situation? What’s the status on cleaning the courtyard.”

“Just as you see. Nothing was done at all.”

“That isn’t something you should be saying proudly… Urm, still, a few hours have passed already since I left this place to your care, right?”

“Yes. Indeed.”

“Even if you spent half your time sleeping, there should still have been plenty of time available for you to work, right?”

“Mmm, yes. So there was.”

“What did you do within that period of time?”

“Work. The job of cleaning the courtyard, which you assigned for me to do.”

“… If so, aren’t things progressing a little too slowly?”

“I’ve gathered a lot of dead grass, you know.”

“… That’s neither cleaning nor tidying. That’s just you stacking it up so that you could use it as a bed to roll around in, right?”

“How rude. I’ll be calling the police.”

“Don’t disturb the policemen for mundane matters like that.”

It’s precisely due to people like you, that has resulted in the policemen of Japan being overworked, thus causing an increase in crime rates.

“All in all, could you please tell me the reason for the lack of progress?”

“Let’s see. It must be because it’s all physical work, and I was working bare handed.”

“Then use tools. You know, tools.”

“I’ve no idea what tools to use for the job.”

“Well, it’s just… For example, putting a pair of protective gloves, and using a sickle to cut the grass. Isn’t that plenty?”

“I’ve no idea where the tools are.”

“There’s a small shed in the corner of the courtyard, right? They’re all kept there.”

“Ara, is that so. Lesson learned.”

“…”

What’s with that?

Should I say that I was so astonished that I didn’t know how to reply, or that we somehow couldn’t connect.

Or rather, there’s a serious problem concerning Nasuhara, and the problem could be easily noticed if I put in the effort to do so, and yet I hadn’t noticed it just yet.

“In any case, I handed over the task of cleaning the courtyard to you, and you yourself said, ‘Please leave the cleaning of the courtyard to me.’ as well. Please put more effort into it. Akiko, Kaichou and Ginbe-san are all doing their best with their assigned jobs.”

“… Fu. Looks like I have no choice.”

Nasuhara gave a sigh, and shook her head gently.

Her long lashes drooped, and she said sullenly.

“Looking at how things are right now, it would be better if I come clean. At the very least, you have the right to know.”

“Eh?”

What?

It was my first time seeing her like that.

Her anguish was as if she was about to announce the world was coming to an end. For Nasuhara Anastasia to be that gloomy; what exactly was she planning to say?

“Listen carefully. Please don’t faint after hearing what I’m about to say.”

“W-What’s with that? What are you going to say? Please don’t scare me, I’m faint hearted.”

“You can no longer escape. Since you’re the caretaker of the hostel, you should at least be prepared for things like this?”

“So I say, please don’t scare me—”

“Actually, I’m a girl who can’t do any sort of housework.”

“…”

I was helplessly stunned.

“Eh? Huh? What did you say?”

“Actually, I’m a girl who can’t do any sort of housework.”

“Eh? Really?”

“Yes. Really.”

Nasuhara nodded without a change in expression.

That was indeed something of quite some impact. Though it was rather different from what I’d imagined.

So Nasuhara Anastasia doesn’t know how to do any housework; no, upon thinking deeper, that isn’t something so surprising. She’s the daughter of the famous Nasuhara Industries, so it’s quite understandable. It’s the same as back when I was doing a house visit to her house; that she had bodyguards and maids was something that was quite natural. There are various other things as well. She does indeed feel like a pampered lady.

No, but even still, the members of the student council are all extremely capable. My younger sister, Kaichou and Ginbe are all doing the housework normally, so I’d assumed that Nasuhara was the same as well.

“I don’t know any sort of housework; honestly speaking, I’m a girl who’s absolutely unsuitable for living together with others in a hostel. Ahem.”

“No, that isn’t something you should be saying proudly… If so, you should’ve just said so earlier. There was no need for you to volunteer doing it with an air of confidence.”

“It’s not like it’s something that can be done by one person. I had thought it would turn into a situation where the gardeners would take care of all of it.”

“Well, it’s a pretty huge courtyard.”

“In short, due to various reasons, I decided to bluff my way through, during the job assignments; that’s how it is. I had a motive for doing that as well. I thought that I’d be able to keep hidden, about the fact that I’m a girl who can’t live by herself, due to me being too fragile and inflexible, from growing up in a pampered environment; that I’m a girl who’d be at my wits end if I was to be thrown into the society by myself, right now. Hmph, go ahead and laugh at me if you want to.”

“No, I have no intention of laughing at you.”

“I can lick your shoes if you wish.”

“No, that’s stooping too low.”

She was actually still looking down on me not too long ago. She sure changed quickly.

However, she was still her expressionless and monotonous self, so my impression of her wasn’t too different, regardless of her looking down or looking up to me.

“Then again, don’t you need to clean up in school? No matter how pampered you are, it still can’t be that you’ve zero experience at all in cleaning, right?”

St. Ririana Academy is a school that emphasizes respect for the autonomy of students.

Despite their large funds, they didn’t use a single cent of it to hire cleaning companies to take care of the cleaning of the school. Due to that, even someone like Nasuhara should have had a chance to learn techniques for cleaning.

“That’s because I’m treated like a goddess in my class. All the cleaning which I was supposed to do, is all done by my devotees.”

“Ah— indeed. You do give others that sort of impression. As long as you don’t open your mouth to speak.”

“Or rather, they have no intention of letting me do chores, like cleaning. ‘It’s a sacrilege for Nasuhara-san’s hands to be stained from cleaning.’ Is what they said.”

“You’re really raised to high heavens… Do those people ask for anything from you in return?”

“Mmm, they are happy as long as I show them a brief smile? Probably just once in a month will do.”

That’s really little.

Those people do haven’t much desire, if they’re satisfied from something as simple as that… Forget it, that’s what the devotees and worshipers are all about anyway.

“Have you understood the situation now?”

“Mmm, well, generally. Being treated specially does have its own problems as well.”

“That’s how it is. I’m your so called victim, of the twisted, current day, society.”

“… I just can’t accept that, frankly, seeing the sort of expression you have when you’re saying that.”

“As such, I have a request for you.”

“Hmm? What request?”

“I hope you can offer me all sorts of assistance, in regards to me not knowing a single thing about housework.”

“Mmm. To be specific, what are you looking for in my assistance?”

“Hmm. For example, you’re to help me finish all of my tasks by yourself. Things like that.”

“No, I’m not your devotee. And also, I’m very busy.”

“I think that’s just too terrible. You’ve exposed all of my secrets, and now you’re leaving me to die by myself.”

“No, it’s not like I was the one who exposed them… instead, you’re the one who revealed them all, right?”

“Indeed, I understand. I must be foolish for trying to negotiate without showing my sincerity; that’s what you’re trying to imply.”

“Actually, I don’t mean it like that at all.”

“Well then, how about offering you my body as a gift?”

“I humbly decline.”

“Why must you decline? Are you saying my body lacks any sort of attractiveness?”

“No, I don’t mean it like that.”

“I understand. You’re saying that just once isn’t enough. You want me to offer my body and soul to you from now onward. Though it’s very difficult for me to muster the resolve… alright, I accept your request.”

“No, like I said, that’s not it.”

She’d said that it was difficult for her to muster the resolve, but there wasn’t the slightest waver in Nasuhara’s expression.

Uhh— mmm. I still think it’s better for girls not to make that sort of statement as, and when, they like. Even if it’s a joke.

“Whatever, I understand. Let’s not dwell on the details for now. I’ll just try to make it as easy for you as possible. That’s what I intended to do initially anyway.”

“I see, thank you. I’m grateful for your decision. As such, in return, allow me to use my body—”

“No, I’ve said there’s no need for that already.”

“You don’t need it? You’re actually giving up on the rights to do as you wish to me, just like that?”

“Mhmm.”

“You can actually do as you like? You can just release your desires and do beep— and beep— to me?”

Nasuhara was so irritatingly persistent.

Also, the “beep—” sound was made by her, but somehow it just feels surprisingly realistic. Perhaps she’s good at mimicking sounds? She’s a girl with quite strange talents.

“Forget it. In any case, I don’t need it. Really.”

“No regrets?”

“Mmm. I don’t think I will.”

“You won’t regret it in the future?”

“No no.”

“Hmph. Really?”

Nasuhara stared at me intently as she said that.

Her expressions didn’t change, and the same goes for the looks of her eyes. As usual, I had no idea what she was thinking about, but.

“… So that won’t work. Yet another lesson learned.”

“Hmm? You said?”

“Nothing at all. Well, you’re willing to make things easy for me without asking for anything in return. Can I interpret it that way?”

“Mmm, no problem. You can’t expect me to do all of your tasks, but I’ll try to assist you as much as I can.”

“Generally speaking, what sort of help will you be offering me?”

“Let’s see… First, I’ll definitely help to safeguard your secret, that’s for certain. However, since we’re living together, it isn’t really possible to keep it hidden forever.”

“It is so.”

“Which means we have only one way to get out of this. You will have to learn how to do housework, before the secret is revealed.”

“But, there’s a possibility that I wasn’t born with the talent to do it.”

“That may be the case, but I don’t think there’s anything that you can’t do. Also, this is purely a matter of experience.”

“I don’t think I can do it.”

“No no. Nothing of the sort.”

Nasuhara was surprisingly uneasy about it.

“You’re good in studies, sports, and you are the beauty who won the beauty contest, right? In short, you’re an elite, right? Also, you’re more capable than my younger sister in just about everything, right? So you can do it. Even if you aren’t good at it, you’ll get it someday if you remember to keep trying.”

“Which means, no matter how poor my memory is, you’ll never give up on me, and will teach me properly until I’m able to do it?”

“Eh? Ahh, well… Yeah, just like that.”

“You will take care of me?”

“Well… that’s the only option. Though I think it would definitely be much better if you were taught by Kaichou, Ginbe-san, or Akiko. But whatever floats your boat.”

“Is that so. I see.”

With that.

Just for a brief moment, Nasuhara smiled vaguely.

… Ohhhhh—

It had been a while since I’d seen her smile.

Well, that expression of hers. It’s indeed great.

“Hey. I’ve been thinking since then.”

“What?”

“Nasuhara-san, that expression of yours is much better, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean by my expression?”

“Urm. I’m not talking about the indifferent expression that you have currently. That smile of yours earlier, it’s definitely much more charming than usual.”

“…”

After a short moment of silence, Nasuhara turned around so that her back was facing me,

“We’ve wasted quite a bit of time talking about unnecessary things. Alright, let’s start on the cleaning. Can you teach me how to do it now?”

“Eh? Ahh, mmm. That’s not a problem.”

“My incompetence will come to light if we don’t have any sort of progress. Hurry.”

Due to that, we hastily started to work on the task again. During that period of time, Nasuhara’s face was faintly red all the while.

But that was due to her working in the cold weather; I’ll leave it to everyone to decide if that was the sole reason for her blushing.

Translator notes and references

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