Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai:Volume 2 Rotten
The day after Rika joined our club.
"By the way you guys, What exactly does this club do again?"
Asked Rika after looking around and then tilting her head.
Yozora and I were on the sofa reading.
Sena was busy playing some new galge made by NiNTeNdO, and once in a while she'd start talking to the screen saying stuff like "Let's be together forever" and "I love you!" Honestly it's kinda scary.
Yukimura was in his usual spot spacing out next to the coffee pot.
Whenever there's nothing special to do, the members of the Neighbor's Club usually spend their time like this doing whatever they feel like.
"Well, we don't really have any specific stuff we do right now. Whenever someone comes up with a good idea for making friends we usually just go with that and see what happens."
As I answered her, Rika replied with a "Hmm" while looking like she was giving it some thought, and then
"Well then Senpai, why don't you try having intercourse with Rika?"
I spit a little after hearing her say that so casually all of a sudden.
"W-w-w-w-w-what the hell are you talking about!? Have you no shame!?"
Yelled Yozora with a beet red face. To which Rika replied with a puzzled look on her face
"No, I just thought it'd be a good idea for making friends."
Sena, who's face was also beet red, yelled at Rika
"That's called making babies not making friends!"
"Was that supposed to be clever or something!?"
Said Yozora as she smacked Sena on the head.
"Well, of course half of that was just a joke."
...Only half of it?
"But depending where you go, lots of places in the world have people that are just sex friends you know."
Said Rika with an indifferent tone.
"No! There's no such thing!"
"You're surprisingly pure-minded aren't you? Yozora-senpai."
Yozora let out a small groan at Rika's teasing.
Ohh, I hardly ever see Yozora be the one getting teased.
"A-anyway I won't allow it! We don't need any friends who only want se-... and stuff."
"But Senpai, normally males and females are unable to maintain a "just friends" status."
"That's not true!"
Yelled Yozora, her voice even louder than before.
Rika also looked a bit surprised at that one.
"W-what's the matter Yozora...?"
Asked Sena with a bewildered look on her face.
Yozora returned to reading her book, albeit with an uncomfortable look on her face.
Wonder what's up with her...
"...It would appear that I have stepped on a landmine wouldn't it."
Rika whispered to me.
"By the way, making babies aside I am really interested in your genes Senpai. I want to study them."
"Like I'd let you!"
"Hehe, you're one step too late. I've got a piece of your hair already."
Rika laughed mischievously.
"...Now then, Rika supposes she'll join you in reading a book."
Rika sat down next to me and opened up her bag.
...What kind of books does a genius girl like her read anyway?
Yozora and Sena are watching Rika, I guess they must be interested too.
The book Rika took out was surprisingly small.
"Oh stop it you guys. Please don't stare at me so much. Reading porn in front of people is embarrassing even for Rika."
Said Rika without the slightest hint of embarrassment.
Yozora and Sena's faces both turned bright red, and then soon after a confused look found its way to their faces.
Two robots were drawn on the cover of the book Rika took out.
One of them was from that series "Super Black Magician Gamudan" that was made 10 years ago and has new material coming out to this day. However there are a lot of different Gamudan robots, so for someone like me who doesn't know much about it I can't really tell which one it is specifically.
The other one was from the smash hit robot anime "Lost Century Ovangelion". I don't know much about anime, but even I know about Gamudan and Ovangelion.
"Are those manga?"
Asked Sena, still looking confused.
"Yes. This is what you'd call BL doujinshi."
If I remember right BL means Boys Love... basically it's a guy on guy manga.
And doujinshi is basically a magazine that's published by yourself instead of through an official publishing company, I think.
"Ohh... so that's a doujinshi... this is the first time I've seen the real thing."
Sena seems to be pretty interested in it for some reason.
"Are you interested in doujinshi Sena-senpai?"
"I-It's not like I'm all that interested! It's just, I heard that "Tokimemo" and "Love Minus" have their
own doujinshi, so I was just wondering what doujinshi are like is all."
Said Sena with a beet red face.
"Would you like to read it?"
"W-well I guess a little bit can't hurt."
Said Sena has Rika handed her the doujinshi.
I'm interested too, so I decided to give it a read.
"...Wow, this is pretty good."
I'm actually kinda impressed.
The whole thing was a long scene of the two robots battling it out.
The drawings were very detailed, and the story wasn't half bad either.
"The drawings really are good. I thought it'd be a lot more shabby looking since it's self-published."
Said Sena, approving of the doujinshi, to which Rika replied with a slight tint of happiness in her voice.
"Of course there are lots of crappy ones out there, but there are lots of pros that make doujinshi too.
Rika was really happy when she found this artist in particular, because it's so rare to find such a good artist making doujinshi for such a niche genre like this."
"...Niche?" I tilt my head.
"Gamudan and Ovagenlion are crazy popular aren't they? The fan-made material for them has to be just as popular doesn't it?"
"To be specific, this doujin is about the game "The Second Great Ultra Mecha Battle: Alpha". It's the only game in which the first generation movie versions of ZZ Gamudan and Ova's 02 Unit fight each other."
I have no idea what she's going on about.
I have heard of that Ultra Mecha Battle game before though.
"To be honest you're exactly right, there are tons of Gamudan and Ova doujin out there, but the coupling
that Rika wants is pretty hard to find..."
"Ah, I know what a coupling is! It's like those "Person A x Person B" type deals right?"
Said Sena jumping into the conversation.
"You multiply them?"
Looks like Yozora doesn't have a clue what they're talking about.
"It refers to the main pair in a doujinshi. It's like, if it were Akari Fujibayashi x Yukiko Nagata, then the book would be about a pairing between Akari and Yukiko."
"...? The protagonist in "Tokimemo" is Semoponume isn't it? Why would Akari and Yukiko be paired with each other?"
Said Yozora getting more confused by the minute.
"There's doujinshi where the protagonist and a heroine are paired up too, but there are also doujinshi with pairings not present in the original work as well. It's sort of like a 'what if' situation."
"That's about right Sena-senpai. Fan-made works are largely for expressing those "what if" situations that people think up but weren't a part of the original work. Another important part of it is determining who the Seme and Uke are. If you go by what Sena-senpai said before and pair Akari x Yukiko, then Akari is the Seme and Yukiko is the Uke. On the other hand if you set it up Yukiko x Akari then Yukiko is the Seme and Akari is the Uke."
"Seme... Uke...? ...I have absolutely no clue what you two are going on about."
Said Yozora with an annoyed look on her face.
"The one who puts it in when they fuck is the Seme, and the one who gets it put into them is the Uke."
Yozora's face turned bright red in contrast to Rika's indifferent explanation.
"S... so that's what you meant by 'pairing'!? J-just what kind of obscene books are you two talking about...!?"
"I-I don't know that much about them either you know!? I've only heard bits and pieces about them!"
"Silence you pervert! Whore! Slut! Rotten Bitch!"
Yelled a flustered Yozora flinging insults at Sena.
"Yes, Rika is a pervert. Rika is thinking perverted things 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Rika's brain is now completely rotten due to the number of perverted thoughts she has. What about it?"
"Don't start trying to provoke her even more than you have!"
I yelled at the calm as ever Rika.
"Kodaka-senpai do you hate lewd women?"
"I hate them."
"Ohh, so you say but your body is being honest you know."
"What are you? A fujoshi? Or are you actually some nasty old geezer?"
"Do you think anyone will ever make Rika x Kodaka-senpai doujins?"
"I-I'm the one getting something put into him!? Where and what!?
"Hmm, let's see, I suppose I'd take a volumetric flask and shove it..."
"Forget I asked!"
I yelled with all my strength. And then
Yukimura's cheerful sounding voice surprised me after having him stand there without saying a word this whole time.
"Oh, hey. What's up Yukimura?"
"I believe that you would make a fine Uke Aniki."
"Well don't because it's not happening!"
Every single one of these people is insane I swear.
"Well, let's leave aside the issue of the Rika x Kodaka-senpai doujinshi for now."
"Don't leave it aside. Get rid of it completely."
Ignoring my words completely, Rika continued talking.
"Rika's favorite genre is very rare so I always have trouble finding them. Even though Rika is very tolerant for a fujoshi and doesn't really care who ends up being the Seme or Uke, it's still quite hard to find..."
"Are the books you want really that rare?"
Sena asked while tilting her head and flipping through the pages of the doujinshi again.
Each page is pretty high quality, and each scene is just Gamudan and Ova's robots fighting.
There's not a single scene in there besides them fighting.
With a doubtful look on her face, Sena started reading the book again, but this time much more carefully.
As I thought, it's just a robot fight the whole time.
"Haa... Having Rika's Senpai re-read her porn over and over... Having Rika's strange tastes put on display for all to see...
Ah, Rika is starting to feel strange..."
I don't get her at all.
"...Hey, what part of this is supposed to be dirty? There aren't even people in it."
...That's right, far from having any adult scenes in it, I didn't even see a single human in the whole thing. The only drawings are of the two robots, there isn't even a single drawing of either of the two robot's pilots.
"Huh? Of course there's no people in it. This is a ZZ Gamudan x Ova 02 Unit doujin."
Said Rika as though what she's saying is completely obvious.
"There aren't a whole lot of Mecha x Mecha circles out there~ Everyone only wants to draw the pilots. I was excited because the 'Gamudan 00' protagonist was crazy about his Gamudan... but it was no good. Everybody just made Sogeki x Shun doujins. I wish more people would've focused on Cherudim Gamudan x 00 Gamudan."
What the hell are you talking about?
"M-Mecha x Mecha...?"
Sena flipped open a page with a look of total confusion on her face.
It's the scene where Gamudan is firing it's bazooka at the back of the Ova from point blank range.
I'll try reading it again.
"Gehehe, how do you like my High Mega Bazooka, 02 Unit?"
"Uuu... ZZ you're so big and hard, y-you're so far inside me! I-it feels so good! Having your huge bazooka ram me feels so good!"
"Haa Haa... How was that... I know that's your weak spot! I'm not done yet either, I'm gonna smash through your DT field!"
"Ahh, stop itt! Be gentle, it's my first timeee! N-No! That's not an entry duct! There's no way your double barrel mega beam canon will fit! Ahh, you tore it! You tore my DT field wide opennn!"
"Kh, I-It's tight... That's some power you've got back here! Kh, I-I can't hold it in... E-energy levels fully charged at 170%... T-this is it, I-I'm firing!!"
"Ahh, stop, y-you'll break mee! Ah! Ahh! Ah! Y-your warm discharge is in side me... Ah! Ahh! Ahhh! UNIVERSSSSSSSSSSSSE!!"
The Ova exploded.
But on the next page it's back to normal.
I guess the explosion was just for show.
"...? ? ? ? ?"
Sena's face looks utterly shocked, she's just sitting there.
Then Rika said with a face that says she's in her own little world
"...Haa... I still love it no matter how many times I read it. The look on the ZZ's and Ova's faces when they climax together is especially good. You don't find guys who can draw an ahegao like this everyday you know."
T-they have faces...?
"...You're definitely insane."
Declared Yozora with a cold sweat running down her face.
As she did, Rika said with a distant look in her eyes
"Fufu... I've known that all along... I know nobody will ever understand me... but Rika won't lose. Rika will become even stronger all while shouldering this cruel fate she was born with."
"Yeah whatever, do what you want. Preferably as far away as possible."
I said with a look of disgust to the lone wolf wannabe Rika.
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