MaruMAːMini-minisːReception

The Reception

A certain someone was in heaven.

Heaven is a great place, it's very comfortable and it's never too hot or too cold. People are always greeted with a smile and there's a dining table with delicious dishes lined up so that no one is ever hungry. But when he arrived at the table, only a long spoon was placed before his eyes. The handle was too long and one couldn't carry food to one's mouth. And the reason for that was this. That long spoon wasn't there for him to eat his own food, but to use it to feed the person sitting opposite to him.

"... and you know I have a nice little story for you."

A silver spork was stretched before his face, with some unknown red thing placed on it and at the other end of it was Saralegui's smiling face looking at him.

"Here you are, Yuuri. Say aaahn."

"Don't you have a shorter spoon?"

"I said, say aaaahn."

"Uh, if you gave me a shorter spoon I could eat by myself. I'm not a three year old."

"Oh, Yuuri."

The pale cheeks of the king of Small Shimaron faintly gained some color and his brows furrowed as if he was pouting.

"I was just trying to make you feel welcome in the very best way we have in Small Shimaron. In other words, this is..."

Saralegui smiled.

"... entertainment."

"This is.... enter... tainment?"

The very best form of entertainment between two males of a certain age is for one of them to go 'aaaahn' for the other one? Fed up with what was going on, I turned my head away from the red food. It was just too embarrassing.

".... I see, so you won't accept eating off my spoon, ne?"

Saralegui muttered those words as an old salary-man would and let his head hang down looking sad. His wilted appearance was a painful sight.

"Ah, no, don't exaggerate..."

I gestured no, waving my hands quickly before me. Well, if you think about it, he wasn't just a boy of approximately my same age, but the king of a country, a large, powerful country, who was offering to feed me. Perhaps it was some exceptional type of special SERVICE? Besides even though he's a male, he has an androgynous look and his fingers are neither hard nor hairy. That was important. Hairy fingers. Without them, even sushi tastes different.

"It's just that.... it's sort of embarrassing don't you think?

"What is?"

Saralegui asked tilting his pointy chin, his blonde hair flowing to a side. He appeared to be asking that question sincerely.

"It's the finest form of entertainment for a national guest. If you were to reject it because you thought it was too embarrassing, then I...."

"Rejecting? Is it...(such a big deal)?"

This took a turn for the worse. Since the person before me is the king of a large country, I should apply the popular saying that goes 'Between CELEBRITIES, act like a CELEBRITY'. If I refuse to take a bite off the food that's being offered to me by such a prominent person, even if it's embarrassing for me, it would be rude, and could start an international problem between the nations. At this point, I was upset too. I had forgotten that I could be perceived as being hostile by refusing to accept the entertainment and that this could cause the relationship between Small Shimaron and Shin Makoku to go sour. At that time, I didn't have a companion to remind me of this.

I took in a deep breath preparing myself for the humiliation that was to come.

After all, I'm a man, and on top of that a catcher who's been warming the bench for a million years. I should be able to take one or two humiliating forms of entertainment without getting disheartened. I should be able to take both curve and straight balls. So now I had to take this "Evil ball ･Say aaahn" without getting upset. It's easy. Just throw the food that's in the other person's spoon into your mouth. It should be easy.

God, I beg you! Please don't let Wolf go nuts over this and if you pity me for taking this sort of humiliation for the sake of my country, then please let me earn an impact point on the next game. Ahhhn~(Amen).

"A, ahhhn."

"Oh, this form of entertainment is boring..."

Eh?

The red food that I was going to have to endure, changed destination and ended up in Saralegui's stomach.

The person who was perpetrating the entertainment, waved the empty spoon around while resting his chin on his hand.

"Come to think about it, since we've only just met, it's time to get to know each other better, ne? Let's try to get acquainted with a more informal type of entertainment. Not in this formal, grown up fashion."

"Huh? This was acting like grown ups? 'Saying aahn' is an ADULT type of entertainment!?"

♔

After entering the room which I thought were my sleeping quarters the door closed and Saralegui, who was right behind me, locked it behind him.

"Why, why did you lock it?"

"It's just that it would be troublesome if someone were to see us."

Something that would be troublesome if someone else saw, or rather, wait! what sort of entertainment is this? Is it an honest type of entertainment, and if so why would it be troublesome if someone else saw it!?

While my brain was screaming, he walked to the corner of the wide, luxurious room and came back pulling a small wheeled WAGON.

Poles and rods were mixed with thousands of big and small planks.

"What's this....?"

"My history."

What I thought were planks were actually portraits of different sizes. The one featured in them was Saralegui and other people who surround him. Some of them showed him from the waist up, but most of them depicted his whole body. There was also one from his childhood that showed him sitting on the lap of a man who was apparently his father. They were, so to speak, family photos. He began to put the ultra-realistic paintings in order from oldest to newest.

"Hee, awesome, huh?"

It was awesome, but.... was this entertainment?

From my point of view, it felt more like what you do with your boyfriend/girlfriend when they visit your room for the first time. Showing them an album of pictures from your childhood that you normally wouldn't show anyone.

"Thirteen years old, fourteen years old, fifteen years old..... and this is from when I was sixteen, it's rather new, ne?"

"Uhaa!"

Crap! What assaulted my field of vision made me jump and raise my voice. I saw something I shouldn't have seen. Goodness, it was Saralegui in the leopard POSE that gurabia idols often strike.

I understand now. This is why he locked the door.

Did something happen to Saralegui at age sixteen? His portraits suddenly changed drastically.

Saralegui standing still by a window, Saralegui and a rose, Saralegui with rose petals spread over his stomach, Saralegui in second baseman POSE, a crying crab and a playful Saralegui. And then one of him wearing a COSTUME he seemed proud of.

"Those clothes are beautiful, aren't they?"

"Ah, yeah. Those seashells.... and fig tree leaf, it's quite... intricate, huh?"

He was pretty much almost naked. I think pretty much almost naked is syntactically incorrect, though. And despite having all those paintings before me, I couldn't quite understand the circumstances that surrounded them. In other words, if you were going to have a naked portrait, just be naked and get it over with! And if you wanted to cover yourself, then just cover yourself properly!　Don't be relying on starfish and algae for those purposes.

"T-this is...."

"I had it drawn. It's beautiful, isn't it? So artistic, ne?"

"Uhm, yeah."

"I mean, beautiful things should be preserved as they were during the time when they were beautiful, ne?"

"Hahaha.... Sara, you're so clever."

Wait, really? Isn't that just something that a smooth talking photographer would say to deceive you? But since this is the explanation he gave, he must really believe it so it can't be helped. However, since I'm the type who doesn't believe that my body is very artistic, when asked about it, I force a smile to pretend agreement.

Even so, this is a weird type of entertainment. No, actually being confined to a room with someone who's showing you same-sex nake.... SEXY SHOTS, isn't that called sexual harassment rather than entertainment? I'd be enjoying this if there were some big muscles in them, though.

"Does everyone in Small Shimaron have these types of erot... nude portraits of themselves?"

"Everyone? Of course not. Only those who understand art."

I clutched my chest in relief. Thank goodness, I couldn't help but think about the type of portraits Cropped Pony Maxine would have of himself otherwise.

"In my country there's a nude portrait painter who is so good people say there's no one better than him. Yuuri, by all means, you should get one of these too. And actually, I asked this person to come here today for you."

"EH!?"

As Saralegui was unlocking the door to call in the painter, I desperately stopped him.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait~! Taking my clothes off, taking my clothes off!? I mean, I don't want to leave behind such an embarrassi...uh.. aa...artistic painting of me. I absolutely don't want that! I still haven't successfully sculpted my body! I don't want the image of my body lacking muscles recorded in a gurabia-KING painting for the rest of eternity."

"Then you don't even want one painting?"

"I have been drawn naked from the waist up before."

And at that time, even though I was wearing a suggestive outfit, the personal style of the artist saved me. Anyone who would see that Shigaraki-style raccoon wouldn't even care about the breast size. The line-of-sight is supposed to aim directly at the groin. But since I was wearing a grass skirt, then it's all right. I was completely safe. Now that I think about it, that may have been Wolfram's selfish-puu consideration towards me.

"I see.... you hate the idea of leaving behind a painting of yourself...."

Saralegi put his index finger to his chin and walked behind me, pensive.

"I see, then it's also too soon to have this type of entertainment, ne?"

"Okay, look Sara. Sara? I don't really want any particular form of entertainment, but if you want your guest to feel welcome no matter what and you were to say that you have to do so to preserve your PRIDE as the king of Small Shimaron.... you could just try ... you know more average ways of making a guest feel welcome. Like offering them a beautiful meal, preparing a nice bath, a comfortable bed, and such."

"I see!"

He clapped his hands and raised his head. His voiced changed and sounded happy when he said:

"There's still the bath."

"Mn? Ah, yeah, but I've already enjoyed a bath."

"But you didn't get scrubbed (araikko), right?"

S.... scrubbed? (araikko) Uh, was that the scientific name of a type of sea otter that lives in the Amazon?

"You mean having my body washed by someone else...?"

"That's right. According to Shimaron culture, that's what makes a perfect bath. I want you to let me wash your back. You're not going to tell me again that getting to know someone better by getting naked with them is also embarrassing, now are you?"

"Uh.... actually that's also..."

"That's right, entertainment! You won't be declining this time, ne?"

Saralegui smiled as he returned with a sturdy deck brush in his hands.

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