On a Godless Planet:Volume2B Chapter 23
Chapter 23: Rampart[edit]
–Give us a base and supplies.
●
…She has such flawless technique.
Shifu was watching Kido-chan cook.
Kido-chan was using a cutting board on a collapsible table set up by the river. They had a trash bag nearby, but they were still outdoors. The footing and everything else made it different from cooking at home.
She was chopping vegetables.
Her stance was perfect. Then again, a god of her level would be able to take command of the nearby spirits and the local gods. Then the ground underfoot and the air around her would support the god who ruled over them.
Thus, a god of sufficient divine rank would not be influenced by their environment.
But to put it another way…
“What you see is that god’s own traits and Kido-chan’s posture is great.”
She worked the knife in what felt like a single flowing motion.
She had chopped a few different types of vegetables now, but Shifu noticed something when Kido-chan started on the onions.
Kido-chan wasn’t cutting or chopping them. She was…
“Severing the connections.”
Senpai-chan was standing next to Kido-chan to assist and she appeared to notice something strange about Kido-chan’s chopping.
“Eh? Ehhh?”
It happened while chopping the first onion.
Kido-chan “chopped” right through it.
When Senpai-chan peeled an onion and handed it to Kido-chan, Kido-chan pressed her knife against it from the side and…
“Oh?”
The blade emerged from the other side as easily as if she had cut through paper.
“––––––––”
She reversed the blade and passed it through the other way, just at a different height. And…
“Is everyone alright with large pieces?”
She continued passing the blade through vertically and horizontally with no resistance whatsoever. The entire time, the onion did not change shape and Kido-chan finally held her palm out toward Senpai-chan.
“Okay.”
“Eh?”
“Senpai! This! She means this!”
The idiot mimed lifting a large breast, but Shifu worried that would pollute Okutama’s nature from a Shinto point of view. However…
“Um, could you give me the next onion?”
“Oh, right. Here. Um, I’ll take that one.”
“Ah.”
In a minor misunderstanding, they both reached out at the same time.
Kido-chan’s chopped onion spilled down into a pile.
●
“That’s so cool! Like an expert’s secret technique!”
“Is that an Auth Spell?”
“I practiced cooking a lot back when I was a shut-in hoping for a husband, but I couldn’t chop an onion like that without a really nice knife. Could you tell teach me the Auth Spell you used?”
“An Auth Spell that simply makes clean cuts isn’t going to make the food taste any better.”
“That’s right, Senpai! Anything you cook is the best tasting thing in the world if you ask me!”
“What if she served you her old leftovers?”
“What kind of question is that!? If she already ate part of it, the word ‘leftovers’ is basically an insult! I wouldn’t just eat it – I’d lick the plate clean and return it to her! Oh, I can almost taste it just imagining it! It’s super delicious!”
<Your fanaticism never ceases to amaze, ape.>
“You got that right, Balancer! Jealous!? You can start worshiping big boobs too if you want! You can start with Raidou-san’s chest! It’s nice and hard. I should know because I’ve massaged it before! Worshiping that chest is what I call hard mode! Bur why are you starting out on hard!? What are you, a Mega Drive game!? Okay, fine, you can start with my chest to practice! C’mon! What, getting cold feet!?”
<Someone please.>
“As usual, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Neither do I, but to get back on topic, this is a divine protection, not an Auth Spell.”
●
“I thought it might be,” replied Raidou. “Does it use water?”
“Yes. I have authority over water. So…”
Kido held the knife in her right hand and raised her left hand into the air.
Water appeared from her left hand and fell down. And…
“Eh?”
Kido held the knife against the falling water. The blade peeled the water.
She cut away a single thin layer.
That thin layer of water peeled away like she was pulling away the outer layer of rolled paper.
The original falling water scattered in midair and splashed against the ground. But the thin layer peeled away by the blade remained intact and hit the riverside with some mist trailing behind it.
“This uses my divine protection. Since I can control water, I can also split and slice water.”
“So you weren’t actually cutting the onion.”
“I was slicing the water in the onion.”
Kuwajiri gasped when she heard that.
“Kuwajiri, was this a good lesson for you?”
“It was. Our mythology lacks a dedicated water god, so it is nice to learn these techniques exist. And…”
She took a breath.
“It also provides me with more knowledge on what dedicated gods can do with their Auth Spells and divine protections.”
“Yes. You could write this off as no more than chopping vegetables, so even if you find the technique surprising, the surprise is only at the skill and artistry of it, like the human did earlier.”
But…
“Could it be applied to combat?”
“That is where the mind goes, isn’t it?”
“Our real manifestation bodies do have water in them.”
“Eh!? What!? What’s that about water!?”
“Care to dehydrate yourself so we can see what happens if it’s used on a dried husk?”
“H-how did this take such a violent turn? And it simply wouldn’t work if there wasn’t enough water.”
“Oh, is that why you asked Senpai to peel the onions? Onion skins are really dry.”
“Yes. My senses are somewhat dulled with anything too dry. My power has trouble affecting it. And not just my divine protections and authority, but my physical abilities as well. That might only be my imagination, but it certainly feels like it.”
Kido turned toward Senpai-san.
“So once you can use your rock authority as proficiently as I can mine, I would be nothing more than a single drop of water trying to weather away a stone. Element-wise, you have the upper hand.”
“No, no, no! I think it will take forever for me to reach that level and you’ll have grown a lot more by then too.”
“Perhaps so.”
Kido stopped there and took a breath.
“Still, it would be safer if we cut all ties.”
●
I realized I had nearly let myself be caught up in the moment.
…That’s right.
I had a feeling, and knew for a fact, it would hurt Izumi if I stayed around.
He and Douhai-san said they would be fine, but they couldn’t know for certain what would happen. So I knew it was best to keep my distance.
“Kido-senpai!”
“Hwuh!? Y-yes?”
“Um, so, I noticed when you were preparing the soup that you cut the eggplant and all the other vegetables the normal way. So why did you decide to draw on your true power for the onions?”
“Her true power?” asked Kidou-san with a tilt of her head, but that wasn’t an entirely inaccurate description.
And I did have a reason for using my divine protection for the onions.
But how should I explain it? I knew it was childish, but I hid my embarrassment with a hand on my cheek.
“Because…”
I explained.
“If I cut the onions normally, they would sting my eyes.”
●
“That seems like an extreme waste of authority, but I also understand completely.”
“Excuse me, Shifu-senpai.”
“Hm? Having trouble resisting? You can just let it out, you know?”
“No, it isn’t that.”
“Sometimes Kido-senpai does things that make me want to protect her even though I am her underclassman. Is this some weird misjudgment on my part, or do I just have the sensibilities of an old man?”
“It’s called having an oshi! And I’m right there with you! We can be Kido-san oshi buddies!!”
“What language are you speaking?”
●
Someone suddenly grabbed my hand from the side.
I turned to look and saw Douhai-san.
“E-excuse me! Chopping onions is always a challenge for me and I end up with a flood of tears, so can I have that Auth Spell!?”
“Again, this is my divine protection, not an Auth Spell.”
“Um, th-then if I start worshiping you, will I not cry whenever I chop onions!?”
<That is a truly unprecedented reason for worshiping a god.>
“Hold up! So if busty Senpai worships busty+1 Kido-senpai, then Senpai gets a +1 divine protection for her own bustiness!”
“Why would you state that like it’s a fact?”
“Try thinking first, idiot! If Senpai gets a busty+1 buff on top of the no-tears onion slicing buff, um- oh, right! That means she’ll have an easier time cooking, which means more of her leftovers will end up with me, which means more of her plates I get to lick clean!”
“Are you alright?”
<Word of warning, Sugawara. If you ask him that, he will say ‘yes’ on reflex. So when he gets like this, the better question is ‘it’s already too late, isn’t it?’>
“Hollllld on! Don’t you mean ‘is there anything I can help with!?’ What do you mean ‘too late’!? Heh. But it’s true. It is much too late to stop Senpai from being the best! I know how powerless I am in the face of her perfection! And since she’s cooking, I’m carefully observing the sideboob sticking out from her apron, but I’m only observing, so don’t worry if you see me staring, Senpai! See what I mean!?”
<Kido, the vegetables are going to dry out, so shouldn’t you get back to work?>
“Hey! Hey!!”
Everything got a lot noisier all of a sudden, but I decided to get back to cooking.
●
While Balancer and the idiot traded insults, Kidou worked with Bilgamesh and the others to set up the tents and tarps.
She had camped out a lot in the past, but…
“Modern equipment is really well made.”
<A big outdoor boom began in the 90s, but Japan had previous ‘back to nature’ booms as well. Outdoor gear has been imported and developed for quite some time.>
“I get the feeling Norse mythology has a longer history in that regard.”
“The tallest mountain in Europe is Mont Blanc of the Alps. It is more than 4800m tall, but there are records of the Celtic people living in the mountain range at around the 8th century BCE.”
“I sense a ‘but’ coming.”
“Yes,” confirmed the knowledge god. “Snowfall and glaciers have washed any ruins down from the Alps, leaving nothing behind, but based on my knowledge, a major discovery is made next year.”
<This involves some unauthorized knowledge, so I will tell you what is safe to know. In 1991, a mummy is discovered on a mountain along the border of Austria and Italy. He is dubbed the Iceman and, as ancient as he is, he possesses clothing, climbing gear, and hunting gear and he appears to have died while crossing the Alps while running from a battle. However…>
“However, measurements tell us he lived in the 3300s BCE.”
“That’s even older than our time.”
<Yes. Humanity had already spread across Europe by that time and were developing a variety of cultures and civilizations. And some of them were advanced enough to attempt to cross the Alps using stone tools.>
“I see,” said Kidou while supporting a tarp pole with Bilgamesh. “So they were migrating?”
“We did a lot of journeying ourselves.”
“Especially you. I was too dumb, so my only real journey was to the underworld.”
But…
“The humans had gone even further than us before you could even claim to have seen it all.”
Kidou had already known that from her previous knowledge, but she felt like she was experiencing that knowledge for herself now that she was camping out.
“Humans do some pretty crazy things.”
“They surrrre do. No matter howwww often I tell them not to.”
“When you say it, that takes on a very different meaning.”
It really does, thought Kidou before smelling something in the air.
The scent immediately brought the word “hunger” to mind.
“Is that chicken?”
“The soup is done already. Would you like to take a break?”
●
It was summer, so even on an Okutama riverbank, it was pretty hot and they had worked up a sweat setting up camp. But…
“Wow, this really hits the spot.”
“I simply boiled some vegetables and then added some chicken consommé.”
The flavor was light. The soup smelled strongly of chicken, but the flavor of the onions and cabbage came to the forefront, preventing the chicken flavor from being too strong.
It was hot, which made them sweat more, but…
“It heats you up all at once, but that cools you down in the long run.”
“I let the consommé provide the salt, so the flavor shouldn’t be too strong.”
“I can tell. I was expecting a breakfasty corn soup when you said it would go with the sweet rolls, but even with the consommé, this is more like a vegetable soup.”
“The flavor seemed somehow familiar to me, but then I realized it’s a lot like kelp tea.”
“Yes,” agreed Tenma-chan. “It’s Western, but it reminds me of dashi.”
A hand went up. It was Kuwajiri-chan. She looked to the pot suspended over the stone stove with a long piece of wood.
“You were chopping more vegetables a bit ago, but what are they for?”
“I will use them later.”
Kido smiled a little.
“For our lunch, I made this vegetable and consommé soup. For dinner, I will use the vegetables left in the pot and the new vegetables to cook a curry for curry rice.”
“Yahoo! So we’re going with the camping classic on the first night!?”
“We do not know each other very well and I do not know your tastes in food, so the classic seemed safest. To make up for that, I will make sure it is a particularly good curry.”
“But anyway,” said Kido. Everyone watched as the entire group – including Neptune – gathered around. “It is finally time I explained what I can of my situation.”
●
“Honestly,” someone muttered below a roof with a view of the summer sky.
That roof belonged to a train station and the long white-haired woman stood on the platform with a transport train alongside it.
“Aunt Demeter! It looks like we should use the Hachiko Line from here!”
“Really? Where even are we anymore?”
“Hachioji! This is Hachioji Station!! It’s the big hub station you reach by traveling west from Tachikawa on the Chuo Line!! We took the wrong line to reach Okutama!”
●
Athena regretted trusting her aunt’s instincts.
…How did this even happen!?
●
It had happened that afternoon.
“What is this?”
It began with a vague sense.
Athena had a feeling the human and the terraforming gods were no longer in Tachikawa.
That vague sense was a simple thing. When gods moved around, it would affect he local spirits and local gods, so when those gods weren’t around, it changed how those smaller beings behaved.
Athena sensed that change.
They were all so relieved. No, they were half exasperated and half worried.
…Wait, what do those gods ordinarily do here?
Then again, they were gods. They were bound to cause all sorts of trouble.
Regardless, this meant the human and those gods had left Tachikawa.
Athena did make sure to confirm that she wasn’t mistaken. There were major gods here other than that group, after all.
There was a school here and a lot of other gods existed at or around that school.
So she started by contacting Eshtar.
While Athena and Demeter were inspectors, they weren’t monitoring all of the gods all of the time.
The DC had given them Eshtar’s Revelation Board number since she was a fellow inspector.
“Hey, Eshtar. Where are you right now?”
“Hi! This is Eshtar, the Mesopotamian idol who’s always cute and sometimes eccentric! But I’ve got hyper bad news! I’m not in the mood to answer your call right now, so if you’ve got business with me, make sure to leave a message after the beep!!”
Demeter waited. And finally, the call was ended from the other side.
“Huh!? Hey! Where was the beep!?”
“Maybe she forgot to record that part?”
“…”
“That idiot!!”
But it was just like Athena’s aunt to call again. Esthar’s lengthy recording played again and Demeter listened to it all before ignoring the lack of a beep.
“Hello, Eshtar? This is Demeter. Would you mind telling me where you are right now? Please call me back once you get this.”
She was uncharacteristically polite on the phone.
“Since when do you say ‘please’?”
“Well, you know, I get so nervous making phone calls.”
…If only everything made her nervous…
That thought aside, they still didn’t know where that group had gotten off to.
But the answer reached them from an unexpected source. Someone called them.
“Hi, Demeter-kun? I heard you were visiting. So what do you want? Would you like to know where our terraformers have gone and what they’re doing?”
●
Wow, was Scarecrow’s reaction.
In front of the library counter, Omokane was gleefully giving away information. And giving it away to Demeter, who had arrived as an Olympus inspector.
“Yes, they went on a camping trip to Okutama. Do you know what camping is? Hmm, simply put, it’s when you set up a tent and sleep outside.”
This must have seemed like leaking too much information because the information god leaned out over the counter and tilted her head.
“Should she be doing that?”
“I don’t know any more than you.”
It seemed like a problem, but then Scarecrow realized something.
“You don’t know where Okutama is? Then check a map. On a map of Tokyo, Tokyo Bay will be to the east, the 23 wards will be to the west, and most everything west of them is Okutama. Tachikawa is in northern Tama, western Tama is west of that, and Okutama is even further west than that. So if you’re in Tachikawa, Okutama is straight to the west.”
That explanation was more or less correct. However…
…Hmm?
Scarecrow had a question, but Omokane kept going.
“I’m guessing you two arrived in Tachikawa taking the Chuo Line from Tokyo Station. You did? Then you just need to head west from Tachikawa. The Chuo Line leaves Tachikawa to the west, you see. Just 30 minutes and you’ll know exactly where you are.”
Omokane had the worst smile on her face. Shamhat clearly didn’t understand what was going on, but then Omokane waved her hand to disconnect her voice call Revelation Board.
She and the ferrets on her shoulders waved their hands and the Revelation Board vanished into ether light. And…
“Well, that was fun!! …Did you see that, Kubiko-kun!? You always call me cruel and heartless, but as you can see, I can be friendly and helpful too.”
“Omokane? You can call that friendly and helpful if you want, but there’s a good chance the Olympus gods will hold a grudge for this.”
“Hm? Why would they do that? What was wrong with giving them directions to Okutama?”
●
“A fair question,” said Scarecrow, opening a Revelation Board. She called up a map of Tokyo.
“Um, to start with, Tokyo Station is here on the east.”
“I know that much. I used it myself.”
“Probably so,” said Scarecrow with a nod. When the gods of other regions came to Tachikawa, they generally took the train. There were airplanes too, but flight is a source of bad luck in a lot of mythologies. And the speedy train – especially one that runs on electricity, which is commonly an unmatched weapon among the gods – likely drew their interest. That meant the Olympus gods had probably taken the train too. But…
“From Tokyo Station to Tachikawa, the track does take a slight detour to Shinjuku, but it is mostly a straight path west. This is called the Chuo Line.”
“Yes, that was the name of the line I took. My impression was that the ‘line’ differs depending on who operates it, but is that accurate?”
“More or less.”
Scarecrow drew out the Chuo Line running from Tokyo Station to Tachikawa on the map of Tokyo.
Then she extended the Chuo Line’s line west from Tachikawa.
She drew the line straight out into the mountains.
“The route map will show you Haijima around here, Oume around here…and Okutama around here.”
Those were points along a long, straight line to the west.
The line linked Tokyo from east to west with Tachikawa in the center. She tapped Tokyo Station located at the far eastern end.
“Now,” she began, running her finger from Tokyo Station to Tachikawa. “This line is the Chuo Line.”
“Yes, you already told me that. What about it?”
“Then,” continued Scarecrow, running her finger from the rest of the line from Tachikawa to Okutama. “ The Chuo Line leaves Tachikawa from the west. So what line is this leaving Tachikawa from the west and traveling through the center of western Tokyo?”
“Hm? Are you saying it isn’t the Chuo Line?”
●
You would think it is, wouldn’t you? thought Scarecrow as she responded.
“Unfortunately, it is not the Chuo Line.”
So what was the correct answer?
“The line continuing west from Tachikawa like a continuation of the Chuo Line is the Oume Line.”
●
“Huh?”
Shamhat didn’t understand. She clearly didn’t have sufficient information. She understood that when asking her next question.
“But you said the Chuo Line does leave Tachikawa from the west. Where does it go?”
The Shinto guidepost god placed her hand on the map.
“After leaving Tachikawa from the west, the Chuo Line goes here.”
She indicated a westward route, but it was more accurately a southwestern route that crossed Tokyo’s border.
“West of Tachikawa, the Chuo Line leads to Yamanashi, Hachioji, and Kofu.”
●
“…? Wait, doesn’t Chuo mean ‘center’? So why would the Chuo Line go to another prefecture instead of continuing along the center of Tokyo?”
For Shamhat, it was an honest question. As an information god, she found this to be fascinating. And she saw Scarecrow glaring and pointing in a certain direction.
“Do you really want to know!?”
Shamhat had never seen a god give off such strong “c’mon, ask me” vibes. But even so…
“I do want to know.”
“It’s simple really. Looking at the history of Japanese railroads, this Chuo Line was built first. It began service in 1889. The Oume Line began service a little later in 1894.”
“That doesn’t explain why a line that takes a diagonal turn is called the ‘central’ line.”
“Blame jurisdiction.”
That gave her a general idea of the answer, but now wasn’t the time for her to show off how clever she was.
“I would love to know why.”
“Thank you for that, Hatoko-kun. The Japanese railroads were first laid on the Pacific side of Japan. Instead of splitting the management jurisdiction between prefectures, it was split based on where in Japan the track was laid. This includes the Chuo Line.”
What did this mean?
“It does not run through the center of Tokyo. It runs through the center of Japan. Yes, so the Chuo Line – which is technically known as the Chuo Main Line – begins at Tokyo Station, but its true end point is not Tachikawa or Hachioji – it is much further west, at Nagoya Station.”
●
“Anyway,” said Scarecrow. “When people who aren’t aware of the Oume Line want to reach Okutama from the Tokyo metropolitan area, their geographic knowledge sometimes trips them up. They know the Chuo Line leaves Tachikawa running straight west, so they assume they will reach Okutama if they take it.”
“And Omokane just lured the Olympus inspectors into that assumption, didn’t she?”
This is what Omokane had said.
“I’m guessing you two arrived in Tachikawa taking the Chuo Line from Tokyo Station. You did? Then you just need to head west from Tachikawa. The Chuo Line leaves Tachikawa to the west, you see. Just 30 minutes and you’ll know exactly where you are.”
Without detailed knowledge of Tokyo’s rail layout, you had no chance.
“When traveling from Tachikawa station to Okutama Station, you generally want to change trains at Oume Station. There are direct trains from Tachikawa to Okutama, but they’re pretty rare at this time of day. So if you focus on the Chuo Line signs inside Tachikawa Station, it’s easy to overlook the signs saying ‘Oume Line: Haijima, Oume, Okutama’.”
Omokane breathed a deep sigh.
“But surely some Olympus bigshots wouldn’t make a silly mistake like that.”
“What if they lodge a protest?”
“Would those Olympus inspectors really make it officially known they embarrassed themselves?”
“Indeed! I like the way you think, Hatoko-kun! …That aside, it’s hard to say when they will realize their mistake, but if all goes well, they will have to give up on traveling to Okutama until tomorrow. That will buy us an entire day of time, so you should really thank me.”
“Oh, right,” said Omokane.
“I also hope they fall for the Hachiko Line trap at Hachioji Station.”
●
“Aunt Demeter! This Hachiko Line train only comes by once an hour, so we have to wait 45 minutes!”
“What is it, a stagecoach!? And I thought this was Tokyo. Why is this dead line waiting for us like a trap!? Wouldn’t it be faster to return to Tachikawa!?”
●
“I will quickly run through the important points.”
Kido got that out up front. The way Izumi was nibbling on a bread roll filled with adzuki bean margarine was very cute, but…
“He looks like a rabbit eating it like that.”
“Yes, he does…”
“Hey, you’re already getting distracted.
Oh, right, thought Kido, opening her mouth to speak.
“This gets into my personal friendships, but due to some minor circumstances, I am friends with Sea God Salacia, wife of Mr. V over there.”
And…
“Because of this, I am assisting him with his current troubles.”
“So,” she said again before realizing something. She tried to continue, but…
“––––––”
No words would come. She wanted to say something and she tried to choose the right words, but it all seemed too dangerous.
She couldn’t say any more.
…Yes.
It just isn’t an option, she thought. I am not allowed to say any more than this. But…
“Then what about Mr. Vomit! What’s he doing here!?”
●
Shifu noticed Kido’s eyes flit over to Mr. V when Sumeragi asked that.
…Oh?
Shifu guessed Kido was granting permission. She was telling him he could choose how to handle this. So…
“Where should I begin?”
Mr. V scratched his head uncertainly, but it was someone else who spoke.
“Please tell us what you can without revealing whatever it is Kido-san can’t tell us.”
●
Kido looked toward Douhai.
Douhai looked her in the eye and nodded once.
It looked like a way of saying it was alright. A way of saying they wouldn’t ask about what Kido didn’t want to talk about.
…But why?
No, I don’t need to ask, she realized.
Douhai must be the same.
She too must have had a secret she thought would make Izumi dislike her, but she had trusted in him and waited. So…
“These people are on our side, Mr. V. We can tell them anything that will not bring harm to them.”
“So is the Mr. V thing official now, or what?”
“I-It seemed that way to me!”
But the Roman sea god did indeed nod. And…
“It concerns my wife Salacia.”
He paused for a breath.
“You know the water monster that attacked the human? She…was once Salacia.”
Interlude[edit]
“It would probably be insensitive to say ‘yeah, I kind of figured’ here, wouldn’t it?”
“You’ve gotta give it the old wh-whaaaaat!? It’s important to play along!”
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