White Album 2/Script/1004: Difference between revisions

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|それでも、幾度も飛び掛ろうとする武也を抑えて、<br>粘り強く交渉を進めたのは、性格はともかく<br>あのピアノに魅せられたからだったんだけど。
|それでも、幾度も飛び掛ろうとする武也を抑えて、<br>粘り強く交渉を進めたのは、性格はともかく<br>あのピアノに魅せられたからだったんだけど。
|Even then, what kept me persevering in this discussion and holding Takeya from trying to take off many times was, save for the personality, how enchanted I was by his piano playing.
|Even then, what kept me persevering in this discussion and holding Takeya from trying to take off many times was, save for the personality, how enchanted I was by his piano playing.
|}}
|The logical fluency of the statement is a problem. From the context of the sentence and the previous statement, the 'even then' should be followed by a reference to their perseverance before going directly to the cause. It would probably make more sense now without the 'even though'. }}


{{WA2ScriptLine
{{WA2ScriptLine
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|今にして思えば、<br>俺って相当面食いなのかもしれないな。
|今にして思えば、<br>俺って相当面食いなのかもしれないな。
|If I think it now,<br>maybe I'm attracted to her.
|If I think of it now,<br>maybe I'm attracted to her.
|}}
|}}


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|目が覚めたことで、<br>自分が眠っていたことがわかった。
|目が覚めたことで、<br>自分が眠っていたことがわかった。
|I'd realized I'd fallen asleep when I had awoken.
|I'd realized I'd fallen asleep when I had awakened.
|}}
|'Awoken' or 'Awakened' both work but the second weaker form is more common and less formal.}}


{{WA2ScriptLine
{{WA2ScriptLine
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|結局『第二音楽室の主』の手がかりは掴めないまま。<br>しかも、あの、三人の“音”が重なった日以来、<br>ピアノの音色は途絶えたままで。
|結局『第二音楽室の主』の手がかりは掴めないまま。<br>しかも、あの、三人の“音”が重なった日以来、<br>ピアノの音色は途絶えたままで。
|In the end, we'd never caught who the "owner of the second music room" was. On top of that, the tone of the piano never ceased since the "sound" of us three was brought together.
|In the end, we'd never caught who the "owner of the second music room" was. On top of that, the tone of the piano never ceased since the "sound" of the three of us was brought together.
|}}
|}}


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|あの、三人の“音”が重なった日以来、<br>ピアノの音は途絶えたまま…？
|あの、三人の“音”が重なった日以来、<br>ピアノの音は途絶えたまま…？
|The tone of the piano never ceased since the "sound" of us three was brought together...?
|The tone of the piano never ceased since the "sound" of the three of us was brought together...?
|}}
|}}


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|扉を開けた瞬間は全然気がついてなかったけれど…
|扉を開けた瞬間は全然気がついてなかったけれど…
|I hadn't noticed at all the moment I opened the door...
|I hadn't noticed at all the moment I'd opened the door...
|}}
|}}


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|…最初に長さを測ったときは、<br>ここの高さより十分過ぎるほど長くて、<br>見事に命綱の役割を果たしてなかったけど。
|…最初に長さを測ったときは、<br>ここの高さより十分過ぎるほど長くて、<br>見事に命綱の役割を果たしてなかったけど。
|... though at first when I checked its length, it was so long that it went as far as the height up here, so this rope wouldn't work out as a lifeline.
|... though at first when I checked its length, it was so long that it went as far as the height from here, so this rope wouldn't work out as a lifeline.
|}}
|}}


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|何しろ相手は、今までのことを考えても、<br>自分の演奏中の姿を誰にも見せる気がないらしい。<br>まず間違いなく、かなり気難しい人間だろう。
|何しろ相手は、今までのことを考えても、<br>自分の演奏中の姿を誰にも見せる気がないらしい。<br>まず間違いなく、かなり気難しい人間だろう。
|After all, if I think over it,<br>he wasn't the type that was eager to reveal himself during practice.<br>First of all, he's most definitely someone that's hard to please.
|After all, if I think it over,<br>he wasn't the type that was eager to reveal himself during practice.<br>First of all, he's most definitely someone that's hard to please.
|}}
|}}


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|まずは教室と教室の間にある雨どいに移り、<br>そこを新たな足場として向こうの教室の窓に飛び移る。
|まずは教室と教室の間にある雨どいに移り、<br>そこを新たな足場として向こうの教室の窓に飛び移る。
|First off, I should move along the drainspout between classrooms,<br>and then jump to new footing at the other classroom.
|First off, I should move along the drain spout between classrooms,<br>and then jump to new footing at the other classroom.
|}}
|}}


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|いくら命綱があっても、<br>もし手が離れたら全身ズルむけだな…
|いくら命綱があっても、<br>もし手が離れたら全身ズルむけだな…
|Even if I have a lifeline,<br>if I should lose grip it's gonna go against my entire body...
|Even if I have a lifeline,<br>if I should lose my grip it's gonna go against my entire body...
|}}
|}}


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|気合いを入れ直し、<br>恐怖心を忘れるため、目を閉じて雨どいに手を伸ばす。
|気合いを入れ直し、<br>恐怖心を忘れるため、目を閉じて雨どいに手を伸ばす。
|Bringing back my fighting spirit,<br>and to forget the fear in my heart, I close my eyes and grab the drainspout.
|Bringing back my fighting spirit,<br>and to forget the fear in my heart, I close my eyes and grab the drainspout.
|}}
|It should either be 'Bringing back my fighting spirit,<br>to forget the fear in my heart' or 'Bringing back my fighting spirit,<br>and forgetting the fear in my heart'. The use of the conjunction makes little sense as it is now.}}


{{WA2ScriptLine
{{WA2ScriptLine
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|306||
|まず、雨どいに手を掛けて、<br>そのまま足も一緒に掛ける。
|まず、雨どいに手を掛けて、<br>そのまま足も一緒に掛ける。
|First, hold onto the drainspout,<br>and then move my feet along.
|First, hold onto the drain spout,<br>and then move my feet along.
|}}
|}}


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|雨どいに全身を預けたときの嫌な軋み音を<br>聞かなかったことにするため、<br>息を整える間もなく、隣の教室の窓に手を伸ばす。
|雨どいに全身を預けたときの嫌な軋み音を<br>聞かなかったことにするため、<br>息を整える間もなく、隣の教室の窓に手を伸ばす。
|As soon as I put my whole body on the drainspout, I hear a creaking sound I don't like. To pretend I didn't, I control my breath, and reach for the window of the next classroom.
|As soon as I put my whole body on the drain spout, I hear a creaking sound I don't like. To pretend I didn't, I control my breath, and reach for the window of the next classroom.
|}}
|}}


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|いつものように、窓を開けておいてくれてたから、<br>なんとか窓枠に左手を掛けることができた。
|いつものように、窓を開けておいてくれてたから、<br>なんとか窓枠に左手を掛けることができた。
|Since the window happened to be open like always,<br>somehow my left hand was able to grab a hold of the window frame.
|Since the window happened to be open like always,<br>somehow my left hand was able to grab hold of the window frame.
|}}
|}}


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|あとは雨どいに引っかけてある右足を思い切り蹴っ飛ばし、<br>そのまま窓から部屋へとなだれ込むだけ。
|あとは雨どいに引っかけてある右足を思い切り蹴っ飛ばし、<br>そのまま窓から部屋へとなだれ込むだけ。
|All that's left is to kick hard with my right leg from the drainspout,<br>and slip into the room like that.
|All that's left is to kick hard with my right leg from the drain spout,<br>and slip into the room like that.
|}}
|}}


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|昨日、誰もいなかったその場所には、<br>当たり前と言えば当たり前なんだけど、<br>彼が腰掛け、一心不乱に両手の指を動かしている。
|昨日、誰もいなかったその場所には、<br>当たり前と言えば当たり前なんだけど、<br>彼が腰掛け、一心不乱に両手の指を動かしている。
|Though there was no one there yesterday,<br>and it's really obvious to say this,<br>now he's there sitting, playing whole-heartedly with his fingers on the piano.
|Though there was no one there yesterday,<br>and it's really obvious to say this,<br>he's there sitting now, playing wholeheartedly with his fingers on the piano.
|}}
|}}


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|けれど、それらのか細いイメージを一掃する、<br>俺の耳を叩く力強い旋律。
|けれど、それらのか細いイメージを一掃する、<br>俺の耳を叩く力強い旋律。
|However, wiping away all those minor details,<br>is that strong melody ringing in my ears.
|However, wiping away all those minor details,<br>is that strong melody ringing in my ears.
|}}
|The use of 'however' is awkward without having a phrase after it like 'what I notice the most' or 'what strikes me hardest'. In its current form, it lacks logical fluency.}}


{{WA2ScriptLine
{{WA2ScriptLine
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|336||
|336||
|俺の、いくつの校則を違反しているか定かでない行為は、<br>とうとう、校内で然るべき責任を持つ人たちの<br>知ることとなり。
|俺の、いくつの校則を違反しているか定かでない行為は、<br>とうとう、校内で然るべき責任を持つ人たちの<br>知ることとなり。
|The actions I took that broke a number of regulations,<br>had finally become known to the people<br>who were responsible within the school.
|The actions I took that had broken a number of regulations,<br>had finally become known to the people<br>who were responsible in the school.
|}}
|'Responsible' shows that they have authority in this context but I feel that it could be made more clear by changing 'who were responsible' to 'who were the authority/management'.}}


{{WA2ScriptLine
{{WA2ScriptLine
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|339||
|そして…<br>今回のミッションで想定しうる最高の結果は、<br>今ここに不可能との裁定が下った。
|そして…<br>今回のミッションで想定しうる最高の結果は、<br>今ここに不可能との裁定が下った。
|And...<br>achieving the best results for this mission,<br>an impossible judgment was handed down upon me.
|And...<br>achieving the best results for this mission,<br>an impossible judgment was handed down to me.
|}}
|Add 'after' before 'achieving',I feel that this gives more fluidity to the sentence.}}


{{WA2ScriptLine
{{WA2ScriptLine
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|343||
|だから、後はこのまま懸垂の要領で、<br>ぐいっと体を持ち上げ、華麗に教室に躍り込めば…
|だから、後はこのまま懸垂の要領で、<br>ぐいっと体を持ち上げ、華麗に教室に躍り込めば…
|So all that was left was to pull myself up,<br>elevating my body as hard as I could, and magnificently jump into the classroom...
|So all that was left was to pull myself up,<br>elevate my body as hard as I could, and magnificently jump into the classroom...
|}}
|}}


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|掴まってるのが鉄棒だったら、<br>それもできたんだろうけど。
|掴まってるのが鉄棒だったら、<br>それもできたんだろうけど。
|Though I'm sure I could do that,<br>if I were grabbing onto an iron rod.
|Though I'm sure I could do that,<br>if I were grabbing on an iron rod.
|}}
|}}


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|指先だけが窓枠に引っかかり、<br>腕全体の力を集中させることができない。
|指先だけが窓枠に引っかかり、<br>腕全体の力を集中させることができない。
|Only my fingers are hanging onto the window frame,<br>so I can't concentrate on the power in my arms.
|Only my fingers are hanging on the window frame,<br>so I can't focus the power in my arms.
|}}
|}}


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|350||
|だって…<br>落ちる寸前にとうとう俺の視界に捕らえた、<br>“彼女”の正体は…
|だって…<br>落ちる寸前にとうとう俺の視界に捕らえた、<br>“彼女”の正体は…
|Because...<br>Just on the verge of falling, I've gotten ahold of "her" identity...
|Because...<br>Just on the verge of falling, I've gotten a hold of "her" identity...
|}}
|}}


Revision as of 13:32, 21 May 2014

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