Editing Talk:Mushoku Tensei:Web Chapter 81

Hi there, I just joined after my IP was frozen for trying to improve the Part 2 to Volume 9 Chapter 1's readability. I am unsure about how to resolve that as I lost the page. Anyways, I understand that there is need for translating but I also thought grammar and flow was important for reader enjoyment. I understand there are certain rules, so I figured at the very least I should display the edit so my work wasn't wasted:


The young girl was in the clouds and the buildings and trees looked tiny.


"Eh!!?"

The intense sensation in the stomach of a slow free-falling.
'Is this a dream?'
The suffocating heights making it difficult to breathe.

The thin girl's body piercing through the moist clouds. The smells and tastes.

'I was just…'

And then terror.

Her entire body was telling her that this wasn't a dream.


"Hiii~!!!"


The young girl heard a scream escaping her throat and felt her eye's tearing.

The scream promoted the fact that this sensation was reality.

She didn't know how.

But, she was in the sky. Falling.


'If I don't do something.'

'I'm going to die'



Die.

Without a doubt die.


No matter how young the young girl is, she clearly understood the fact that she would die if she fell from such a height.

'I don't want to die!'

She used all of her magic power.

She knew that the ground was rapidly expanding in focus.

The young girl raised the wind.

Aimed directly below herself in order to fall onto it.

She thought that her velocity would fall a bit.

However, she quickly returned to her previous velocity.


Wind was no good.

What would be good to do at this kind of time?

What did the young boy say?


Remember, remember.

Didn't the young boy say anything?

What to do at a time when you're falling from a high place…

"Soften the impact," he said in a calm voice.

'Soften?'

“That's right. Engulf yourself in something soft.”

However, exactly how soft?

What would it be good to create?


I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!

She formed water clouds, spun upward wind currents, layered earth sheets, controlled fire.

'Slow down~...!'

She did everything she could in a frenzy.

But... she crashed.

She felt her entire body submersed into the ground in a crater.

'Am I alive?'

Her body covered in moderate cuts, bruises, dirt and grass clumping to her clammy skin, unbearable pain in both of her legs.

It was a miserable state, her beaten up again, but the young girl survived.

She laid there for a few moments, looking up to where she just was...

But... somehow I softened the crash (as Rudi once told me) ... or.

With only fractures, she survived a fall from a fatally high altitude... 

But, she felt like sharp needles stabbing into her legs.


“Ugo . . . aaa!"


In plain sight, a monster stood there.

It looked like a huge wild boar... but it was walking on two legs and had four arms. <ref> Sounds like a pretty crazy boar, but ni soku hoko, that is walking on two legs right? </ref>

The young girl heard about this monster.
She was told by her father if she were to ever encounter it," Absolutely never get close. Without letting out a sound... wait for it to pass,"
"If you're noticed by it then use magic to escape as fast as you can."
It was an opponent where she was told to do that.
Terminate Boar.
The young girl had many things she did not know, but she did know that the Terminate Boar was rarely seen.
It was said they come out from the forest and would attack with an E rank monster, the Assault Dog, accompanying it.
Locally, it is the most dangerous monster in Asura.

Unusual for the peaceful Asura Kingdom, it was a monster worthy of C rank.
The danger of it rises up from C rank to B rank if it is accompanied by Assault Dogs.
That is most certainly the Terminate Boar.

"Kyaaa~!"
Frantically, the young girl screamed and frantically swelled up magic towards the menacing Terminate Boar.

Intermediate Magic, [Icicle Breaker].

She wasn't holding back at all... Full Power.


She was striking it with her strongest magic from the start stretching her utmost limits.

It was a direct hit.

The Terminate Boar froze two layers thick, fell next to her, shattered, and frozen shards scattered near her.


"Ha . . . ha . . . agu!!"


After trying to stand up in a breath, she realized that both of her leg's bones were practically shattered too.

The young girl used healing magic and swiftly healed them.

Ever since she assisted at the cleric's office in the healing of people, healing magic was a strong point of hers.

But, it wasn't as if she was used to this level of severe, sudden pain.

She bitterly used the magic with a tear-stained face.


" . . . Ha . . . ha."


Standing up. Shortness of breath.

An intense headache started up.

Dizziness. Her consciousness was warping and she felt faint.

Later on, the young girl realized she was out of magic power.
Suppressing the free-falling entry and even defeating a fearsome monster with magic.
Not any type of magic, all of it was done without restraint using her greatest magic.
Which is why, the young girl's magic power was exhausted.


"A...are we saved? Y...you, where did you appear from? What is your name?"


She heard a voice from behind her.

With her head throbbing and her vision hazy, the young girl turned her attention to this voice.

There was a... girl?

With golden hair... and ... a beautiful face that almost gives the impression it is transparent...

It was a girl wearing a pure white one piece with detailed embroidery... it seemed the materials were 1,000 times more expensive than what she received for her birthday.

On the angelic girl's side, leaned a boy whose arm was injured and was leaning against a tree. And next to this boy, a man was... It seemed like his robe was crimson red and wet with blood. Yes, the man was soaked in . . . blood.


"Sylphiette . . . ”


The young girl answered and fainted.


---


This is how Sylphy encountered Asura Kingdom, Second Princess Ariel Anemoi Asura.



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