Editing Talk:Baccano:Volume1 Color1

Just a few things I noticed.  Let me know what you think.


(3) A man with glasses smilingly looked into the boy's eyes.
'''A man with glasses smiled, and looked into the boy's eyes'''


(5) "Indeed, for countless amounts."
'''more clarification needed. this doesn't make any sense in context, i don't think'''

(6) A man with dignified air answered in a low voice.
'''not clear either... maybe A man with an air of dignity answered the boy in a low voice'''



(7) "All I need is a word to shatter that confident look of yours. Understand?"
'''maybe... I only need to say one word to shatter that confident look of yours ect.'''



(11) A moment of silence. While watching the quiet applause of two other staff - the secretary and the Asian elder - the boy finally understood.
'''There was a moment of silence, but when he saw (heard?) the quiet applause of the other two staff - the secratary and the Asian elder - the boy finally understood'''



(12) A big, childish grin conquered his face.
'''Maybe 'spread onto' is a better word'''



(14) To shop for a hat with an executive staff. Such event held an extremely significant meaning in the Organization.
'''to shop for a hat with an executive staff member... such an event held an extremely significant meaning in the organization.'''


(15) The man with glasses approached the boy in great delight.
'''The man with glasses, delighted, approached the boy.'''