Editing Kämpfer:Volume 8.5 Chapter 2





Volume 8.5 Short Stories Chapter 2  


    "Ugh, this hurts."  


    I crawled into my bedroom and collapsed onto my bed. The curry was still in my stomach, 

plotting its way through my esophagus and out of my mouth to see the light of day.  


    It was just after 7 p.m., and even in summer, it would have been dark by then. The cicadas, 

having misjudged the time, were still screaming their heads off, but none of that mattered to 

me. 


    Early this morning, I was dragged to Gunma Prefecture by Kondou Mikoto. There, I was 

stuffed full of curry, and what happened next was just as you can see. I was starting to feel 

like my entire body was curry, and my stomach couldn't even hold a drop o f water.  


    "Go to hell. It smells so badly of curry. I can't take it anymore. I'll definitely be Indian in my 

next life." (Indians love curry, and India is a country known for its curry.)  


    "What are you doing there?"  


    Shizuku Sangou's voice came from the table. (Once again, my deepest respect goes to 

Michiko Nomura, the voice actress who performed the Seppuku Tiger in the TV version of 

Kämpfer's Seppuku Tiger, recreating the original voice of the original Shizuku.)  


    The tiger doll with the eyepatch slanting over its head has spoken. Incidentally, it's the 

Seppuku Tiger from the Entrails Animal series.  


    Speaking of the Entrails Animal series, it's a series of dolls developed by an unknown toy 

manufacturer, despite all the pressure. Ultimately, those who find Entrails Animals wonderful 

probably aren't even from that toy manufacturer. After all, the ent rails are spilling out of 

their stomachs. Even reputable websites today rarely discuss or display Entrails Animals, 

seemingly completely ignoring their existence.  


    However, this Seppuku Tiger has spoken. It's not because it has an advanced voice system, 

but simply because it can speak. Explaining further is too much work, so I'll leave it at that. 

Too 


    lazy to move, I just turned my head away.  


    "This is so awful, please help me."  


    "Don't get your hopes up for the doll. Curry smells really strong, after all."  


    "I've eaten all the curry I've ever had for the rest of my life,"  


    I briefly explained to the Seppuku Tiger. Even with such a disaster, I had to complain a bit, 

for the sake of my fragile nerves.  


    "It was such a dull, yet nerve -wracking experience."  


    "How dull!"  


    "It's just curry, after all. You can't call it anything fancy, right?"  


    Well, that's true.  


    But curry aside, it was a truly awful experience for Kondou Mikoto and I to be told we were 

"dating" and even do that.  


    "I've decided to cut off all contact with curry from today."  


    "But there's still plenty in the freezer."  


    "I've frozen it. Let's just leave it that way for now. I don't see how I'll ever thaw it, so I'll just 

leave it frozen into a fossil."  


    "You've become a total curry collector."  


    "Only a fool would want to collect that!"  


    I've said it countless times; I'm not crazy about curry. If I had to choose whether I like or 

hate curry, I'd say I like it, but this situation has long since transcended the realm of "liking" 

in the ordinary sense.  


    "Come to think of it, there was a call during the day."  


    "Don't tell me you answered it, you idiot."  


    "I didn't answer, but I did check the number."  


    I always carry my phone with me, but with that battery, it's not uncommon for it to die at 

any moment, so it's usually turned off. Therefore, I mostly use my home phone. It's usually 

on the first floor, but I recently moved it upstairs.  


    "Who's calling?"  


    "Akane -san."  


    "Huh?"  


    The Akane here refers to Akane Mishima . Like me, she's a Kämpfer, but when she 

transforms, her temperament changes drastically, becoming particularly violent.  


    "What's up?"  


    "I don't know about that."  


    That's also true.  


    "If it's really important, they usually call."  


    "I see."  


    "Come to think of it, you were invited to a theme park a while ago. Akane, you've been 

calling Natsuru a lot lately."  


    "You must like making phone calls."  


    People in this world, especially women, love making phone calls. If you're so into talking on 

the phone even when there's nothing special going on, you might as well marry it.  


    "I don't think I really like making phone calls."  


    "Then what do you like? Your phone bill? If you like whatever someone tells you to like, 

then you're such a masochist."  


    "But I think it should be the other side of the phone, right?"  


    The other side? Could it be that world? Akane might be trying to glimpse the abyss of 

death. That's a truly chilling statement. (Actually, I don't quite understand what they're 

saying in the above two paragraphs, or maybe the joke is so cold that I've become numb. At 

least after careful proofreading, the translation is accurate.)  


    The Seppuku Tiger sneered. Although it wasn't actually laughing, I had the feeling it was 

sneering. It seems my ability to understand its expressions has improved dramatically.  


    While I was rambling on about these things, the mention of the phone started to ring. I 

glanced at the LCD screen… and sure enough, it was Akane calling.  


    "Look, it's ringing again."  


    "Shut up."  


    I was a little annoyed that the doll had hit the mark, but I didn't bother to argue with it. I 

picked up the receiver.  


    "Hello?"  


    "Ah, Natsuru -san."  


    Akane's relieved voice came through the receiver.  


    "What's up?"  


    "What's up… because you weren't here during the day."  


    "Ah, I went out during the day."  


    "Is that so? Um… where did I go…?"  


    "Gunma. With Kondou Mikoto." (A flash of stepping on a mine while playing 

Minesweeper…)  


    I just gave her a rough idea of the situation. After all, I hadn't done anything wrong. Even 

though that happened in the end, let's not talk about that for now.  


    "Kin… Kondou -san…"  


    Her voice trailed off. Oh, did she faint?  


    "Hello?"  


    "Why are you two together..."  


    "You ask why? Because I was invited."  


    "That's not what I meant to ask..."  


    Akane's voice seemed to crack. Could it be that Akane was nearing the end of her life? Was 

she okay?  


    "Um, are you okay?"  


    "Me -Natsuru -kun, I'll be right there."  


    "Huh?"  


    "I'll be right there!"  


    Akane said, and immediately hung up the phone. I didn't even have time to react, still 

frozen in the same position as I answered the phone.  


    "Ah, ha, ha."  


    The room echoed with the dry laughter of Seppuku Tiger.  


    "Just as I expected."  


    "Shut up! What do you mean by 'just as you expected?'"  


    "I expected this a long time ago. Perhaps, besides you, Natsuru, anyone else would have 

expected this outcome."  


    Is that really that exaggerated?! Try asking Higashida? But he'd definitely say something 

like, "Compared to all your affairs, I recently ran into that beautiful girl, so -and-so." But  


    Seppuku Tiger just smirked to himself, ignoring my thoughts. Damn it, one day I'll have to 

throw you away like non -burnable garbage!  


    Not long after, the doorbell rang in the entrance hall.  


    I knew it was Akane, because if it was Kondou Mikoto, she'd have just pried open the door 

and gotten in. The president wouldn't be much better.  


    I went downstairs, rubbing my bloated stomach. I felt so bad. Why was I still feeling so 

sick? I really wanted a "gastric motility pill" (a medicine for digestion).  


    The doorbell rang, and then there was a knock. It felt like the person outside was 

impatient.  


    "Come on, open the door."  


    I unlocked the interior and pushed the door open, and suddenly I felt something hit my 

forehead.  


    "Yo~, little piece of trash, you reek of curry!"  


    It was indeed Akane outside the door. But she had transformed into a fierce dog.  


    Akane dragged me up to the second floor. This is my home, isn't it? How come you have 

the final say?!  


    I was thrown into my bedroom. From then on, Akane had been holding her beloved gun.  


    "Be careful when you fart in front of me!"  


    Her usual gentle and delicate demeanor was gone, and even her breath exuded a frenzied 

aura. It was truly terrifying. How could someone develop such a terrible personality?  


    "When did you transform?"  


    Regardless, I had to find something to say. If I didn't, I might as well go to hell.  


    "It happened a little while ago. I got so angry that I just turned into Kämpfer. It's easier to 

talk that way."  


    Now, all I could feel was fear.  


    I mentally called the transformed Akane "the rabid dog." Her attitude and behavior were 

practically indistinguishable from a rabid dog, and this was when she was at her most violent, 

the kind of madwoman who would shoot anyone she disliked, regardless of whether they 

were in a crowd or not.  


    "Transformation or not doesn't matter. Let's get back to what we were talking about."  


    "What were we talking about?"  


    "What happened during the day? You can't even understand something as trivial as this? 

You piece of shit."  


    "Stop calling me shit! Why is it just that little thing..."  


    I shut up, after all, the muzzle of a gun was pressed against my cheek.  


    Akane's eyes seemed to be on fire.  


    "Where did Kondou Mikoto come from?"  


    "...Huh?"  


    "I'm asking why she ran away!"  


    "Well... because she said she was going to eat curry."  


    "You're such a loser?! Who would go to such a remote place like Gunma just to eat 

curry?!"  


    Actually, I completely agree. But since it's true, I can't help it. I also agree that it's 

unbelievable.  


    "But we really did go for curry."  


    "Where did we go? If we were there, you'd definitely be able to tell me the name."  


    "Izumiya."  


    "Isn't it a Japanese confectionery place?!"  


    "It's a Japanese confectionery place."  


    Akane's mouth twitched slightly, her eyebrows almost knitting together.  


    "I've figured it out. He's completely indifferent to death. How dare you act so arrogant in 

front of me? You're so brave!"  


    "Wait, wait, I said wait."  


    If this keeps up, I'll get a bloody nose and sign up for heaven. This guy was serious from 

beginning to end.  


    "I really went there to eat curry."  


    "Nonsense! In which world have you seen a pastry shop selling curry?!"  


    "I really ate it at a Japanese pastry shop. It belongs to a relative of Masumi Nishino..."  


    I quickly explained the whole story. I didn't want today to be my last day of life, let alone 

the cause of death was curry!  


    Although Akane still looked unconvinced, at least she lowered the gun.  


    "Huh. Forget it. I'm not interested in that curry thing. Besides, why did Kondou Mikoto 

invite you out?"  


    "Curry, I guess."  


    "There must be something else. It's impossible for Kondou Mikoto to ask you out just for 

curry."  


    "Really, it's just curry."  


    "Stop talking nonsense."  


    "Really?"  


    It felt like I'd be shot no matter what I said. After all, we were going out to eat curry 

together anyway; I wasn't making anything up.  


    But my excuses didn't seem to have any real effect, like water on synthetic fiber —it didn't 

penetrate at all.  


    "It seemed like we were talking about a date."  


    "Wow!!" (Serious disclaimer: Look carefully, that's pronounced yue, not the word for sun! 

Harmony, harmony)  


    The gun barrel swished to my forehead again. Wow, even her fingers were exerting force. It 

seemed impossible to get this guy's finger off the trigger.  


    "It's definitely not a date!" I had to find an excuse first.  


    "A single man and a single woman going out together, if it's not a suicide or a date, then 

what else could it be?!"  


    "What kind of nonsense is that? Oh, I really just went to Gunma and came back."  


    "I'm crazy for trusting you!"  


    I couldn't take it anymore. Akane had completely disbelieved me, completely dismissing 

my words based on her own twisted logic. If you keep letting this go on, you'll definitely be 

labeled a cult and put on a national wanted list.  


    "You big piece of trash... You're so arrogant and going on a pre -wedding trip behind my 

back. I already thought you were too close to that damn student council president, and now 

this Kondou Mikoto shows up!"  


    "It's definitely not a pre -wedding trip."  


    "You're not trying to fool me with 'nothing happened,' are you?"  


    "Absolutely not! I was just forcefully kissed..."  


    Just as I was thinking I was going to do something terrible, it was too late. (Obama: We 

didn't launch a nuclear missile against Japan)  


    A wave of murderous intent suddenly surged through the room, and I quickly jumped 

sideways. I doubt I'll ever be this agile again in my life.  


    The bullet from the red -toned gun glided beautifully past where my head had once been.  


    "No wonder, you little bastard!"  


    The Bulldog Girl's hair was already rising in anger. Thinking calmly, there wasn't a single 

reason for her to be so enraged, but now wasn't the time to dwell on that. (God, save me! 

Save the readers!)  


    "It's a disgrace to all of humanity to keep a piece of trash like you alive!"  


    "Wait, listen to me."  


    "Shut your asshole mouth! Kneel down right now, kowtow, and apologize! Beg me to spare 

your life while you lick my shoes and cry!!!" (The crying and licking shoes part is my addition; 

it's not in the original text, but I felt it was needed to create th e feeling of rage. Take your 

pick. The original text simply ended with: "Thank you!")  


    "Why do I have to kowtow to you?"  


    I was completely confused. An ordinary high school boy targeted by a TriggerHappy -like, 

dog-like girl was nothing more than an urban legend.  


    "I'll shoot you if you don't apologize!"  


    "Even if you apologize, I'll still shoot you!"  


    "Isn't it obvious, you frivolous kid?"  


    Ah~~! This guy's serious. I'm about to be immortalized.  


    I desperately thought about how to survive. Things have come to this, and there's only one 

way out.  


    I channeled power into my right wrist. The moment I felt myself enveloped by light, I 

rushed out.  


    "Ouch?!"  


    Akane cried out. I carefully controlled the force of the fireball, and as expected, it hit the 

gun aimed at me, sending the muzzle flying into the sky. At the same time, a hole opened in 

the ceiling.  


    "You bastard!" I screamed.  


    Is it rude to call a girl a bastard? I think I've worried about this before.  


    "What were you thinking?! I almost ended up dead at home!"  


    "Of course, I just wanted to kill you!"  


    Doesn't your conscience prick you a bit? And you brazenly declared your murder in front of 

others.  


    "I just want to kill you. Come on, die. Die now!"  


    "No one would actually die if you told them that. How could you do whatever you want..."  


    "Shut up!"  


    She raised the gun and aimed it at me again. Disasters were truly coming one after 

another.  


    The muzzle trembled slightly. She was absolutely furious. It was clear, but why did she have 

to lash out at me?  


    "Not only did you go out on a date without telling me, you even kissed her..."  


    "We were just out for curry. And the kiss..."  


    "Are you trying to make it a simple accident?!"  


    "..." 


    "I'm going to tear you into pieces!"  


    "I told you to stop!" (I'd actually like to translate "stop" here as "be harmonious," but that's 

beside the point...)  


    I tried my best, and it still didn't work? I don't want my life to end over this.  


    After a while of double -arm clamping from behind (uh, a control technique that can lock 

the opponent's upper limbs and upper body and prevent them from moving, also called 

double shoulder grip, if you still don't understand it, just read the original t ext: はがいじめ ), 

Akane finally calmed down. Others might not be able to see it, but you can feel it from the 

longer breathing intervals. However, I don't know when I was able to sense this.  


    With a click (it's the sound of bones, explain this onomatopoeia in case someone doesn't 

understand), Akane moved her head.  


    "Why are you going on a date, huh?"  


    "Like I said just now..."  


    "The president and Kondou Mikoto have both dated you, why can't I? Tell me!"  


    That's what she said, but I don't know. Am I setting up the final barrier?  


    "There's no particular reason..."  


    "You idiot. People who take no reason as a reason can't survive in this information society."  


    "Don't make the subject so big."  


    "If there really is no reason, then it's possible that nothing can keep you."  


    "That may be the case."  


    "In that case, can I go on a date with you?"  


    "Okay... huh?!"  


    I was instantly embarrassed by this unexpected development. It was hard to imagine that 

these were the words coming from the mouth of that mad dog who was indifferent to what 

was happening around her.  


    I let go of her hands and feet and kept a safe distance. Although she had calmed down a 

little, her eyes were still blazing with anger. This didn't look like the atmosphere for inviting 

anyone on a date.  


    Akane opened her mouth.  


    "I'm talking about a date. Is there something wrong with your ears?"  


    "Uh... I can hear it very clearly."  


    "Okay. Where are we going?"  


    "Wait a minute, I haven't said anything yet."  


    "Who gave you the choice?"  


    The gun pointed straight at me again. Sorry, I won't do it anymore. Pointing that shiny 

black thing at someone without a word is so creepy. Could you please move it away a little?  


    "Seems like you're listening. Hurry up and decide where to go."  


    "I don't know why you're saying that all of a sudden."  


    "Just make it quick. Go now."  


    "Now?!"  


    It's already evening, isn't it? It's the same with Kondou Mikoto. What are women thinking 

these days? Even the most impulsive ones should know their limits.  


    "Just go somewhere I can have fun right now. Hurry!"  


    "How can I think of that?"  


    Even if I had a week, I wouldn't be confident I could pick a good place. After all, I'm just an 

ordinary person with very little dating experience. These things should probably be discussed 

with those college students who are out and about.  


    "If you can't even do this, I'll kill you!"  


    Stop pressing the trigger, okay?  


    "Got it. Uh..."  


    What should I do now? It's already evening. Besides, it's not getting any brighter now, it's 

only going to get darker. There's no movie theater nearby. There was one in front of the 

station, but it closed down two days ago. Even if I went to a restaura nt, I'd already be stuffed 

with curry. Complaining about "nothing to do" would probably get me shot in the face.  


    "Have you decided yet, you piece of shit?"  


    "Wait a minute!"  


    No matter how hard I racked my brains, I couldn't think of a good place. It was like taking 

an exam; if you don't accumulate knowledge daily, you'll be in a difficult position when the 

time comes.  


    "Uu... Every summer, parking lots and parks are cleared for the Obon Dance, a long -

standing tradition in this city. I went there many times as a child. Now, I haven't really looked 

at the town bulletin board; I always just walk past it, so I've complet ely forgotten about it."  


    "Obon Dance?"  


    That's something I could consider. They're high school students, after all, but they're not 

exactly young. It's understandable if a boy from elementary school invites a close friend.  


    "This is the only decent thing. The festival's a few days away."  


    It was just a humble ceremony, a group of people carrying a portable shrine around, 

nothing special.  


    "Then let's go here. Akane, let's go."  


    "Huh? What did you say?"  


    The bulldog girl pressed her gun against my side.  


    "It should be 'I would like to ask you to go on a date with me. I would be deeply grateful', 

right? This is the basic etiquette for a man to invite a woman on a date." (The original text 

uses a lot of honorifics, so the translation here uses archaic la nguage to express the 

exaggerated degree of respect. The original text is here: 僕とデートしてくださいお願いし

ます ) 


    "Huh? Didn't you ask me to..."  


    "You dare to talk back?!"  


    The muzzle of the gun was pressed against my side abdomen and rotated.  


    “Uh… P -please.”  


    “Please say it nicely.”  


    “Please go on a date with me. Please…” (The original text here is the same as the previous 

sentence, but the punctuation is different. The multiple periods split the original sentence 

into two independent sentences, so the degree is very different. The  original text is here: 僕

とデートしてください。お願いします。  The pronunciation of the whole sentence is 

exactly the same, except for an extra pause in the middle. The male protagonist used this 

small pause here to save himself from his “humble” status and elevated himself to just “low”. 

Everyone, please experience it carefully.)  


    “You’re so good.” (All I want is the effect of the male protagonist’s low status. Please be 

magnanimous…)  


    Akane finally showed a satisfied expression and put the gun away. This completely erases 

my personal will. What is the essential difference between this and a forced marriage 

(original text: Short -gun Wedding, which literally means marriage forced with  a short gun)?  


    "Let's go, then. Get ready."  


    "Are you still going?"  


    "That's nonsense! You asked me out so sincerely."  


    They were actually starting to make up stories, but I didn't have the energy to argue.  


    After all, I'd barely escaped death.  


    The Bon Festival was really being held nearby. Even at home, if I listened carefully, I could 

hear the accompanying music.  


    It was actually held at the shrine. I'd always wondered if it wasn't a good idea to just come 

here, but I couldn't think of a better place. Since the festival was already held here, why 

bother holding a Bon Festival there? They really prioritized addin g local flavor.  


    The shrine was called Hoshitoyo Shrine. The grounds were quite spacious, perfectly 

adequate for the event. It seemed like the decision to hold it here was made after much 

deliberation. Previous venues had been requisitioned for high -rise development, s o the 

venue was moved to the shrine. They were saying that the venue would now be fixed, but 

then, seemingly due to the greed of the chief priest (the highest official at the shrine), 

they've levied exorbitant venue rental fees on the government. While tha t's an excessive 

demand, the government is also using falsified contracts to target the shrines, making them 

birds of a feather.  


    The children playing at the dance were at least innocent, so the venue was filled with 

children in yukata.  


    "...Is this really all that's needed for the dance?"  


    "Didn't I say it's all that's needed?"  


    I retorted slightly to Akane's utterly bored tone.  


    From the gravel -paved courtyard came the thumping of drums from a raised platform. The 

women from the "Obon Odori Continuation Party" danced around the platform, along with 

the children and vendors.  


    "Haven't you been here before? It doesn't have to be here, actually."  


    "No. My family was very strict. I never had the chance to play here when I was little."  


    "It's just a Bon Festival. What's the big deal whether it's there or not?"  


    "Go tell those stubborn bureaucrats."  


    She waved her hand feebly.  


    While her words were still merciless, they also reminiscent of Akane before her 

transformation. Hmm, this guy's entertainment options are so limited. Could this bad 

attitude be the result of accumulated stress?  


    "Thanks to you, I've had a rare... rare experience."  


    The bulldog girl rolled her eyes.  


    "You, are you stupid?!"  


    "What's wrong? I brought you here well."  


    "That's not what I'm talking about. Image! Why are you still a woman?!"  


    It reminded me that I hadn't changed back since a while ago.  


    I feel like I've been getting more and more numb to whether I'm a man or a woman lately. 

Is it just habit? Even if I were a woman, I wouldn't feel awkward. It wouldn't be very 

convenient, but honestly, I still think this trend is bad.  


    "What kind of date are you even going to have with this look? Are you a bunch of idiots?!"  


    "Well, don't girls usually go out with their best female friends?"  


    "You're not a girl!"  


    It was just as she said. I was originally a man.  


    "I know, I know. I'll go change back to a man, just wait a moment."  


    "Hurry up!"  


    I looked around. I had to find a dark place where I could hide. Even if it was just for a 

moment, behind a tree trunk wouldn't matter.  


    I thought so, but I couldn't find it at first. There were so many people, hiding anywhere 

would be easy to spot. Even if there were a few better spots, someone would run over to 

answer a phone call soon.  


    "Hurry!"  


    Akane's mood began to deteriorate again. I had to find a place to change back before she 

pulled out her gun.  


    The shrine's main hall came into view. No matter what, I might as well just go there!  


    "Wait a minute, I'll be right back."  


    I said this as I ran toward the back of the temple. There were indeed no lights there, 

making it a perfect place to hide.  


    And the "back" behind it, as the word "behind" implies, was deserted. Great! I'd be done 

in a snap anyway, and back to normal in no time. So, I began to gather strength in my right 

wrist.  


    "Huh?"  


    I jumped in shock. Someone's there!  


    Turning around, I saw a tall figure with an idiotic face. He was a familiar figure: Higashida. 

He was followed by a group of men, but they only looked vaguely familiar. They were all from 

the Bishoujo Club. They seemed to be practicing their maid imper sonations.  


    "Long time no see."  


    Just as I was trying to figure out where to run, Higashida approached.  


    "Ah... hello,"  


    I replied, trying my best to appear completely bewildered. After all, I'd exchanged 

countless conversations with this guy as a male, and it was easy to let something slip.  


    "No, no, no. What's wrong? You're here for the Bon Odori dance, right? Are you enjoying 

it?" 


    "Basically..."  


    What was I saying? Speaking of which, Higashida, why do you ask such stupid questions 

when you have no time? And you're making me answer nonsense.  


    "Then why don't you come with us? It's pretty lonely being alone."  


    "Well..."  


    Still trying to strike up a conversation! Your straightforward nature, no matter who you 

meet, is truly commendable, but at least consider the occasion.  


    "Someone's waiting for me..."  


    "No, no, no? A girl?"  


    "Yeah."  


    "In that case, how about that girl joining us? We'd be more welcoming with more people."  


    I see. Then I'll take you. But I can't guarantee it won't turn out any differently.  


    I gave up on transforming back into my male form and walked out from behind the temple. 

Higashida and the others followed closely behind me.  


    Akane was still in the same place. There were just a few more people crouching at her feet.  


    "You're really slow... huh?!"  


    Your already ferocious eyes looked even more ferocious with your eyes blurred.  


    "Hey, why are you still so deadpan?!"  


    "Something's happened..."  


    "What's with those guys behind you? Who still sells this stuff? JUSCO? Go return it!" 

(JUSCO: the name of a large Japanese supermarket chain)  


    "They said they wanted to play with us,"  


    I said honestly.  


    The men behind me recoiled a few steps. Of course, after all, they'd been confronted by a 

fierce dog.  


    "Uh, um. Long time no see."  


    Higashida stepped forward. He didn't forget to say hello to a beautiful woman even at this 

moment —it was truly impressive.  


    "..." 


    Akane stared at him speechlessly. Wow, I got goosebumps.  


    "I don't know if you remember, my name is Higashida..."  


    "I know."  


    "That's great. If you're allowed, please let us join in and play."  


    "..." 


    "...um..."  


    Akane seemed to be getting more and more impatient. She was a person who preferred to 

be decisive and decisive, and she hated people who tried to flirt with her in a roundabout 

way. I don't know what would have happened before the transformation, but w ith things 

getting this far, I'm sure she'll shoot him through the heart.  


    "Who are those people...resting at your feet?"  


    "They're just a bunch of idiots trying to get close to me. They have cock -heads but act 

worse than birds."  


    She must have gotten a beating. Your hands and feet are still as nimble as ever.  


    Higashida even had a facial cramp. Most people would have that.  


    "Hello, did you have a good time at the Bon Dance?"  


    "Fine!"  


    "Actually, we didn't have a very good time either. But maybe it would be more fun if we 

went together?"  


    Higashida, you're not giving up yet. But then again, this guy is a bit of a douchebag, so 

maybe he's actually enjoying himself in this situation.  


    "How about we go together?"  


    "Stop bullshitting!"  


    "...?"  


    "Why do I have to go out with you bitches?! I'm waiting for someone. If you hear me, get 

out of here right now!"  


    Akane barked furiously. She was almost at her limit. A bloody storm was about to begin.  


    "Don't say that. Who are you waiting for?"  


    "It's so obvious..."  


    Akane was about to continue when she suddenly stopped talking. Then she smiled. 

(Swallow, where's the towel...)  


    "Alright. As long as you guys listen to me, I'll consider playing with you."  


    Higashida's face immediately lit up.  


    "Really?!"  


    "Nonsense. It's not just me, this woman's included too. Okay, Natsuru?"  


    Hey, suddenly changing the subject, what are you going to do?  


    "Yeah, okay?"  


    "Me...me too?"  


    "Of course I can."  


    Akane completely ignored my reply and made the decision arbitrarily. Higashida and the 

others looked very happy.  


    "Okay, I have a deal. So, what do you want us to do?"  


    "I'm waiting for the male version of Natsuru here. Go and drag that guy over to me."  


    "Even Natsuru is here?!"  


    "Of course."  


    Higashida's men suddenly became very motivated, and some even stood at attention and 

saluted.  


    This was not the time for me to sigh.  


    "What the hell..."  


    I was about to ask Akane what she was thinking, but she suddenly covered my mouth. 

Mmmm~~.  


    Higashida was no different from a child caught by a snack.  


    "If you successfully capture Natsuru, you have to come play with us."  


    "No problem. Whether we're going to a hotel or anything else, I'll come with you."  


<nowiki>    "Oh yeah~~~~~~!!"  </nowiki>


    I was still in shock when the minions scattered.  


    "Wahahaha!"  


    Akane burst into laughter after witnessing their actions.  


    "Look, those guys are giving it their all. This kind of enthusiasm wouldn't even be seen in 

the final round of a high school quiz."  


    "Hey," I forcibly pried the hand covering my mouth away, "what are you doing?! You can't 

possibly find me!"  


    I protested, trying my best to keep my voice down. It would be tragic if Higashida and the 

others heard it.  


    "What does it matter?"  


    "It matters a lot. It's obviously impossible to find it."  


    "People are capable of anything when they're desperately trying. Maybe we can actually 

drag Natsuru here."  


    "I told you, I'm right here."  


    "If you're so confident, just turn back into a man and show me." Akane said, "Can't you just 

appear in front of Higashida and the others? Wouldn't that solve all the problems?"  


    "The female version of me disappeared."  


    "At that time, wouldn't it be okay if I just used my brain to get away with it?"  


    How do you want me to use my brain? To make the impossible possible, it doesn't require 

thinking, it requires a miracle, right?  


    "What should I do now that my secret has been exposed to Higashida and the others?! 

There can't be two of me anywhere at once!"  


    "Why don't you just figure it out? You're on your own."  


    "Can't you even help me?"  


    "Well, it was you who just casually went out on a date with someone else." Akane finally 

seemed to calm down a bit. "I can't get over it until I make some trouble."  


    This guy's resentment seems deeper than the Mariana Trench.  


    Okay, what should I do? Just walking away and leaving would be the easiest option, but 

that would be too pitiful for Higashida and the others. That being said, those guys haven't 

really felt down at all. Sure enough,  


    I should just turn back into my male form and do something to get through this. Then 

again, why do I have to get into this much trouble?!  


    Akane stared at me, as if she'd read my mind. Okay, okay, even if it's my fault for casually 

going out on a date with someone else, after all, we even kissed.  


    To avoid tipping off Akane, I discreetly touched my lower lip. The feeling from that time still 

lingered... strange! Speaking of Shizuku, it was the same thing. The kiss was forced and 

sudden, with no sign of excitement at all. It was more like the fee ling of being in a traffic 

accident.  


    I'm always getting into all sorts of trouble. And speaking of those troubles, they're all 

about having sex with people other than Kaede Sakura. (The original language is so cryptic; 

no paraphrasing is involved here.)  


    "...That's really annoying. Hey!" Akane glared at me, "Why are you touching your lips 

behind my back, you narcissist? You still can't forget that kiss with Kondou Mikoto, huh?!"  


    "!" My heart tightened. I'd actually been seen. What kind of attention does that take? I've 

heard before that people who are good with firearms have sharp eyes.  


    "It can't be that pleasant."  


    "Then you were deliberately showing me off just now?"  


    "I already told you that's not the case. Why are you being so unreasonable?"  


    "I'm being unreasonable?! I'm so pissed off!"  


    "Are you angry?"  


    "Watch out, or I'll blow you up! I have to get straight to the point with your stupid ass." 

(Replace "straight to the point" with "clearly talk" [Sichuan and Chongqing dialect] for a 

better reading, so feel free to choose.)  


    I think that's why you're being so cryptic. It's not just this guy; Kondou Mikoto and Shizuku 

aren't the kind of people who speak plainly. I'm not a secret agent, so how can I afford to 

speculate on your meaning? I don't even know what time I'll get up  tomorrow.  


    Akane scratched her head. It seems like she's being a bit rough.  


    I think you're really hurting your charm. As I was thinking about this, I came to my senses. 

What should I do with Higashida and the others?  


    "Are you just going to leave them alone?"  


    "At this point, why don't you just think of something to help them?"  


    "Those guys are looking for me! What can I do?!"  


    "It's your fault for not changing back."  


    No way. I couldn't win this guy over with logic, and even if I won the prize, it would be like 

a bullet flying at me.  


    My brain felt like it was in a knot. Damn it, I really wanted to think of something to say in 

response.  


    Suddenly, my mind clicked, and a brilliant idea flashed through my mind.  


    "Then I'll go find them."  


    "Huh?"  


    "Higashida and the others. Of course, it's not so much that I'm going to find them, but 

rather that they're going to find me."  


    "You're still a woman now, right?"  


    "So what?"  


    Not wasting any more time, I hurried out.  


    Pretending to go find them, I was actually getting away from Akane and Higashida. My 

destination was behind the shrine from before, and this time it seemed truly deserted. Just 

in case, I double -checked. Okay.  


    A white light enveloped me, and I reverted to my male form.  


    The problem was my clothes. If I went there wearing the same clothes as my female form, 

I'd definitely arouse suspicion.  


    I jumped over the bushes and ran to the corner behind the shrine. If I remembered 

correctly, there should be a small clothing store there.  


    There it was. The light was on, indicating it was still open. It was normally closed, but 

perhaps they'd kept it open in anticipation of Bon Odori customers. While there wouldn't 

necessarily be customers specifically buying clothes, there were certainl y people like me who 

needed something out of the blue.  


    After going in and selecting some suitable ones, I stuffed them into a big bag. Then I went 

back to the back of the shrine to change clothes. I was really busy.  


    Then I ran all the way again.  


    "Hey, Higashida!"  


    Although it was a call from a distance, it seemed that he still heard it.  


    "Senou, I've been looking for you for a long time."  


    He ran towards me, and the group of comrades from the Bishoujo Club followed him.  


    "Have you been looking for me for a long time?"  


    "Yeah, your companion is looking for you."  


    Higashida didn't doubt my stupid words at all.  


    "Huh~~, companion? Where is she now?"  


    "Come with me."  


    I followed them obediently.  


    Akane was still standing there with her arms crossed. Then, when she saw me, she was 

shocked.  


    "You, you guy..."  


    "I found him."  


    Higashida urged me to come over, and I put on the expression of meeting her for the first 

time.  


    "Huh? Why are you here?"  


    Akane looked surprised.  


    "You ask why...?"  


    "I didn't even know you were at the Bon Dance."  


    "...?"  


    Everyone present looked bewildered. But I pretended not to notice and continued.  


    "You don't even have a boyfriend... You didn't call me here just to save face, did you?"  


    I deliberately said the word "save face" loudly. Akane let out an "Ah!" as realization 

dawned on her.  


    "You, you...!"  


    "Oh, so you even asked Higashida and the others to find me? You still have your cute side, 

hehe."  


    Her shoulders trembled, and a shadow seemed to cast over the fierce dog girl's face.  


    "You deadhead!!"  


    "As for me, it's okay if we don't see each other again, but if you insist on keeping me, I'll 

consider it." (Countdown, star -studded, furious, door closed, Akane's version of crazy Yagami 

Iori) 


    You asked for it. After hearing what I just said, Higashida and the others must be thinking, 

"This woman must be heartbroken," and Akane certainly couldn't argue with that. After all, 

she did ask them to come find me; that's an indelible fact.  


    Akane's right wrist twitched, clearly ready to draw her gun, regardless of the situation. 

How could she possibly give you the chance to strike!  


    "Come to think of it, I just ran into Akane on the road."  


    "...What?!"  


    "Akane, beautiful Akane. Higashida, you know her, right?"  


    Higashida suddenly interrupted, not realizing for a moment.  


    "The girl on the library committee, right?"  


    "Yes, that's her. I figured since we were already here, we should hang out together, and she 

shouldn't have gone far,"  


    I said with a silly grin. My expression must have looked silly to others, but it didn't matter.  


    Suddenly, the Mastiff Girl pulled me aside.  


    "You... what are you planning?!"  


    The Mastiff Girl finally lowered her voice.  


    "What are you trying to do?"  


    "Akane is me! You want me to find myself?!"  


    "Just go and look for me, maybe I can find her."  


    "You deadbeat, are you planning to bite me back?"  


    "Oh, don't be so harsh."  


    So, I suggested to everyone, "Let's go find her together."  


    Several men and a woman set out one after another. On the way, Akane kept threatening 

me. 


    "If you don't restrain yourself, you'll be exposed as the female version of Natsuru."  


    "If that happens, I'll spread the word that Akane Mishima  is you."  


    "Do you think you'll get away with something like this?"  


    "I don't. What do you think?"  


    We were both in the same predicament. I'd been afraid of her pistol until now, so I didn't 

think of such a brilliant idea. It was like I'd found a handy new weapon.  


    "Hey, Natsuru, where were you all this time?"  


    Higashida, still in the dark, asked me. I pointed him in a random direction.  


    "Absolutely over there."  


    "Come to think of it, the female Natsuru was still here just now. Did you run into her?"  


    "Looks like she went back."  


    Even though she was actually here, it was more advantageous to spin a lie that she'd gone 

home.  


    Running around in a formation like this didn't look like we were looking for someone; it 

was a waste of time and boring. For my plan to come to fruition, I needed something decisive 

to give it a final push.  


    Higashida glanced around as he walked.  


    "...Akane, I didn't see her anywhere."  


    "Maybe she's right next to us, unexpectedly."  


    Akane seemed surprised, but I pretended not to notice.  


    "Are you close to her, Senou? I've seen you two together in the library."  


    "If you're close, yes. We've talked a lot."  


    "That girl... well, she seems pretty quiet. What do you talk about?"  


    "Something about a charismatic movie."  


    "What's that?"  


    Higashida probably thought I was joking. Actually, I was joking, so I'll throw in some truth.  


    "Although she looks quiet, she's actually quite violent. She's always saying things like 'Go 

to hell! I'm going to kill you!' She's even getting tattoos like a gangster."  


    "Hey, she's a girl."  


    "It's not a heart or a rose tattoo, it's a dragon tattoo. And then there's a peony tattoo. She 

looks like a gangster."  


    Akane remained silent, but her body was trembling slightly. Maybe it was all these things 

surging inside her (I really didn't understand what it meant, so I translated it literally: "Inside 

the body, the color is flowing."). But I didn't pay much atten tion to it and continued.  


    "You wouldn't get a tattoo anyway. What if you go to a swimming pool or something?"  


    "Those are amateurish things. Her tattoos are the kind that automatically appear once the 

body heats up. After all, it's summer, and it's cool in the pool, so they won't be visible in the 

pool."  


    "Huh~~, I see."  


    Higashida and the others were impressed. I was even surprised by my own fabricated skills. 

I never thought that even I would be able to speak so naturally. I guess I can become a con 

man.  


    "But they all have tattoos, right? I can kind of understand that."  


    "Right. But girls are doing that these days. It's like writing 'flowers' or something on the 

base of their fingers."  


    "After all, it's a dragon..."  


    "Hey, shut up!" Akane, perhaps unable to contain herself any longer, shouted, "What have 

you been talking about?! Do you think that's some frivolous librarian from some other 

world?"  


    "Hey, come on. I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about Akane Mishima ," 


    I said, a little troubled.  


    "What's your relationship with Akane? You haven't seen her true appearance, have you?" 

(This joke was a bit much, but of course it's precisely because of this... I won't spoil it.)  


    "Yes... I've definitely seen her,"  


    Akane managed to force out. I just sneered.  


    "Hey, what's that like?"  


    "She's more... quiet, she wouldn't try to imitate anything extreme!"  


    "It makes sense, you sound like you've actually seen her before."  


    "What's the point of seeing her before..."  


    "Are you trying to say you and Akane are the same person?"  


    A burst of laughter erupted from behind. Everyone was saying, "How is that even 

possible?"  


    Akane's face twitched.  


    "S-Stop saying so much bad things about Akane Mishima , okay?"  


    "It's not that bad, actually. I've wanted her to know my true side for a long time, the more 

brutal one..." (Sadness!! Sorrow!!! Even as a translator, I can only burst into tears...)  


    "N-Natsuru... stop it."  


    "What's wrong? You look so grim."  


    "Do you really hate me?"  


    "That's not what I meant, but I've always felt that if the female version of Natsuru doesn't 

handle things right, she might end up in the private room, so I said that."  


    "That was just a joke."  


    "As someone with the same name as her, I wanted to help her in this predicament."  


    Thinking about it, although I didn't know much about hotel private rooms, it was time to 

press on.  


    The bulldog girl wasn't letting up; instead, she became a little confused. The corners of her 

eyes twitched slightly. (Be careful not to end up on the scumbag list, bro…)  


    "No, sorry… Even if I'm like this, I'm still a woman. Don't push me too hard."  


    "Why do you look a little weak?"  


    "Weak?… Maybe."  


    "Ah, come to think of it, you're also a girl who trembles when the wind blows the flowers 

and loves Japanese confectionery."  


    "You, don't confuse me with that trashy woman…"  


    "Hey, Natsuru!"  


    Higashida's urgent voice came. Huh? The tone was different from before.  


    He looked up at the situation in front of him. A group of people with fierce eyes and 

unusual hairstyles lined up in front of him.  


    It didn't look like a normal atmosphere at all. I was still thinking about how much spit was 

being thrown onto the ground by the group. But wait, wait, wait, a closer look reveals that 

some of them even had their pinkies missing.  


    A burly man stepped forward. Higashida and the others couldn't help but step back in 

panic.  


    "Hey, big sister. You looked after those young people earlier."  


    "...? What's going on?"  


    "I just chatted briefly. You shouldn't have beaten them all up, right?"  


    So that's why they looked familiar. They were the same people who had been standing at 

Akane's feet. And it seemed like they'd found a group of familiar thugs.  


    "We should be polite. Come over here."  


    I remained calm. While this wasn't directly aimed at me, it was more important that with 

so few people, Akane wouldn't even be a warm -up. Kämpfer is very different from ordinary 

people. If a fight really started, they'd probably be killed instantly.  


    But Akane let out a small scream and pointed a finger at me.  


    "I'm so, so sorry! It was this guy who told me to take them all down!"  


    "What?!"  


    I cried out involuntarily at the thought of confronting these thugs.  


    Akane trembled with fear like a puppy.  


    "This guy said if I didn't knock down anyone who approached me, there was no telling 

what the consequences would be... And I didn't do it. It was this bastard (note the slip of the 

tongue!)... It was this guy who used a weapon on them from behind..."  


    "Absolutely not!"  


    I denied it no matter what. Don't make it up. You beat them up when I wasn't around, 

right? I didn't even lay a finger on them!  


    "Was it you?"  


    "You're so happy."  


    "No! Hey, explain yourself!"  


    I'm not Kämpfer yet. If I really fought these thugs, I'd be completely defeated. Besides, 

they had to save face, so an apology wouldn't be enough to stop them.  


    "I, I... how could I possibly do something like that?"  


    The woman, who should have been a fierce dog, just shook her head weakly.  


    "I've already told you, I'm just a girl who trembles when the wind blows the flowers, and 

who loves Japanese sweets."  


    That might have been their signal, as the hooligans all attacked me.  


    "Huh..." (The friction sound produced by slightly parting your lips while taking a deep 

breath —I'll explain it in case anyone doesn't understand)  


    Behind the temple, I gasped. It was summer, as expected; even at night, I was sweating like 

crazy.  


    Thanks to Akane's trickery, I was being chased by a group of hooligans. Since I couldn't 

transform, there was no other way but to run. I finally managed to shake them off.  


    "Ah~~, I'm so tired."  


    I wanted to just lie down and sleep. But remembering I had to wash and dry the dirty 

clothes later, I resisted.  


    "Yo."  


    A figure emerged from the thicket, startling me, but thankfully it was Akane.  


    She looked quite pleased. She was clearly furious just now, but this guy's mood is like a 

revolver.  


    "That's incredible."  


    "More than incredible. You nearly scared me to death!"  


    "Don't be so upset. I've already taken down all those guys."  


    Akane waved the pistol at me.  


    "Hey, you didn't actually shoot them, did you?"  


    "No, no, I just pulled it out to scare them. I put a little pressure on the trigger, and I guess 

they won't dare come back to cause trouble again."  


    "Oh, is that so? This is the first time in my life I've been so exhausted."  


    "We're the same. Speaking of which, what are we going to do about all that nonsense 

you've been talking about? What if the rumor gets out that Akane, the library committee 

member, has a tattoo?"  


    "I'll go and disprove it when summer vacation is almost over."  


    That was the original plan. After all, there's still some time before the new semester starts.  


    "Where are Higashida and the others?"  


    "They all saw me take down all the thugs with their own eyes. There was even rounds of 

applause."  


    What a rare group of people who are so calm. That way, there shouldn't be any worries.  


    "What a tragic experience. What were we planning to do here in the first place?"  


    "A date."  


    I suppose. But is there such a thing as a date? Nothing good ever comes of being with a 

bulldog girl.  


    "It can't be helped. It's just a wonderful memory of this summer."  


    It's a truly terrible memory, hey.  


    The music from the Bon dance gradually faded. Was the party drawing to a close? In the 

end, we didn't even dance, and we didn't even buy anything from the shop.  


    "Let's go home, Akane."  


    "No way. Are you going to pick a fight with two or three more people?"  


    "Not for the hell! Okay, okay, it's time to go home. I'll take you home."  


    Akane was stunned by what I just said.  


    "...Are you going to take me home?"  


    "Part of the time. You're such a strong guy, I was planning to go home halfway."  


    "You really give up halfway... Ah, come to think of it," Akane said coldly, "if we go back 

now, there's still things we need to do that we haven't done yet?"  


    What else could there be? Cleaning the ball venue? I'm neither a member of the town 

committee nor a volunteer, so there's no need for me to do those things.  


    She became a little anxious.  


    "What a clueless guy. Kiss, kiss."  


    "Huh?!"  


    You're going to kiss here? Why? Kiss you? For me, it would be better if the person was 

Kaede Sakura.  


    "I've kissed the president and Kondou Mikoto, so it's my turn next."  


    "Is there an order?"  


    "Yes, there is."  


    "But..."  


    "Shut up. You were just talking nonsense about tattoos and all that. At least make it up to 

me on this one."  


    This excuse, barely even a reason, felt incredibly compelling. Are you trying to force your 

own twisted theory?  


    "Close your eyes now."  


    "You're going to have to go that far?"  


    "Be careful you'll pop your eyes!"  


    I was scolded again, and quickly closed my eyes.  


    My vision was reduced to darkness. The evening breeze gently caressed my cheeks. From 

the distance, I heard the laughter of children on their way home.  


    Akane was slowly approaching; I could sense it by her presence.  


    "Natsuru..."  


    A sweet voice, completely unlike that of a bulldog.  


    And so...  


    "Ugh!"  


    I couldn't help but wail. After all, I had a pistol stuffed in my mouth.  


    "You've really done something incredible! This is enough for you!"  


    I quickly opened my eyes and saw a furious Akane.  


    "Listen up! If you dare mess with me again, I'll shoot you to pieces! Even if I'm in a good 

mood, I'll shoot you into cheese! This is your ultimatum. I've already endured it as long as I 

can."  


    "Mmmm, mmm."  


    "For a piece of trash like you, even kneeling down and kissing me at gunpoint is a 

courtesy!"  


    "Mmmmm!"  


    The pistol was pulled out of my mouth. I couldn't help but kneel on the ground.  


    Akane glared at me with cold contempt.  


    "I'm going home now. I'm not expecting you to take me home. I want to throw you in the 

trash can just walking down the street."  


    That was the best. My back and waist ached from fatigue and shock. I had trouble even 

standing up.  


    The Bulldog Girl didn't even seem to offer any help. What a cold person!  


    Akane was about to turn around. But just before she did, she brought her beloved gun to 

her lips, and there was a "chi~" sound. (This onomatopoeia should need no explanation...)  


    "...It was an indirect kiss, what happened just now."  


    Then she walked away without looking back.  













==Translator's Notes==
This chapter was translated from the Chinese translation of the original Japanese text.
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