Editing Maria-sama ga Miteru:Volume2 Chapter4 4 (section)

===<noinclude>Just what is going on? </noinclude>Part 4.===

"What's wrong, Hasekura-san?"

Yamamura-sensei, the club supervisor, asked as she took off her mask.

"Mind out of body.  Waving around a shinai like that is asking for an injury.  That's not good."

"Yes."

"Captain, could you watch the underclassmen practice for a bit?  … Hasekura-san, come with me."

Rei left the martial arts building with the teacher, at her urging.  She wasn't surprised she got warned.  During a scrimmage, a first-year who was clearly inferior managed to take a point from her.  She'd never even lost to a classmate before.

"Asking what's the matter would be a waste."

Yamamura-sensei laughed, leaning against the martial arts building.  The fuss.  The faculty had to have caught wind of it by now.  After all, the teachers had found out about Sachiko and Yumi-chan extremely quickly.

The sound of enthusiastic arranged scrimmages passed through the walls, and for some reason, it felt extremely distant.

The first two days after Yoshino returned the rosary, she was so absent-minded that she couldn't remember what she was doing, but she was becoming accustomed to the hole in her heart.  A dry wind was blowing inside of her.  The pain of losing Yoshino would never heal under that wind, and all she could do was adjust her life, that was how resigned she felt.

She didn't know what she did wrong.

She just knew she messed something up.  And because she didn't know what was wrong, she could only imagine her inability to understand simply made her even more wrong.  So it was inevitable Yoshino would leave her.  Because she was a person with a giant defect in her character.

But hearing Yumi-chan talk about Yoshino made her waver.  The resolve she'd made with her dried heart was actually thirsting desperately for the water that was Yoshino.

She wanted to hug Yoshino again.  And melt under Yoshino's soft smile.

"Hasekura-san, are you that crippled without Shimazu-san?"

Yamamura-sensei's words struck home like a clean shot to the mask.  As expected of a Lillian alum.  She never misses the mark.

"Without Yoshino…?"

She'd never thought about that.  Because Yoshino was always by her side, so she'd never given any thought to a world without her.

"There's nothing wrong with Shimazu-san's existence making you a stronger, kinder person, but isn't it wrong if you fall apart when she's gone?"

"If I, fall apart?"

"At the very least, you're not the Hasekura Rei I've always known."

Then, what kind of person was she?  She was good at kendo, and she was kind enough to cover for Yoshino, and-.

"I'm not the kind of person sensei thinks I am."

But she was actually timid, hated being left alone, and was a crybaby.  She was such a weak person.  So, this was her true self.  Without Yoshino, she couldn't do anything.  Simply put, with Yoshino, she felt she could do anything.

She began crying.  Even though she'd never cried, since Yoshino had left her.  Rei was so shocked by Yoshino's departure that she'd forgotten how to cry.  Yamamura-sensei was surprised Rei suddenly cried, but she wrapped her arms around Rei like a big sister and held her.

"Sensei."

How long had she been crying?  When the tears finally dried, Rei felt the need to ask someone.

"Was I a burden for Yoshino?  Because I was subconsciously always hovering over her?"

"I don't know."

Yamamura-sensei said.

"But if you know you were hovering over her, and you think that was a mistake, then you can work hard to rectify it, can't you?  It's not like Shimazu-san died when she returned the rosary.  She's alive, and living next door, isn't she?"

"… Yes."

"Then it's all okay."

Sensei patted her shoulders and beckoned for her to go back into the martial arts building.  But at the entrance, she turned around.  "Oh, yeah."

"So I can keep discipline, do 50 swings there and then come back."

"Yes."

"Let's win the match, general."

Sensei gave her a thumbs-up.

Rei nodded, then set her shinai in front of her.  For some reason, she felt oddly invigorated.  She'll do her best.

She could still keep going, Rei thought.

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