Editing Talk:Suzumiya Haruki no Seitenkan:Volume1 Chapter1 (section)

== Comments from S Reed ==

Alright, I think it's time for a serious discussion before this descends into complete chaos.  There are a few things I want to address here.


First of all, if you're going to revert all the edits I did, then please address the problems in my user discussion as well from now on.  And just for the sake of consistency and fairness, I will address the author of whatever I'm editing as well.  We can't just be editing and reverting and repeating the process all over again without any serious dialog between the authors and the editors.


Second, there are some issues with tone and wording in the unedited version of this.  It seems like it's all being spoken by the male version of Kyon, not the female version.  The reason this project is so interesting is that we get to see how gender differences will be played out.  But the choice of words spoken/thought by the Kyon(f) here are no different than that of the original works.  In fact, it really does sound like a 16-year-old boy that Kyon(m) is supposed to be in the original, and that's not a good thing.  Sure we'd like to keep Kyon's(m) wit and bite, but the way Kyon(f) goes about things has to be different.  As much as we'd like to ignore it, gender is a big part of identity, and identity is a big part of a person's actions.

Example 1: It's not unlikely that Kyon(f) would know about H-games, but how realistic is it for a 16-year-old girl to be mentioning that she knows about this stuff in such a frank manner?  Of course there's going to be some discretion and clarification on her part.  In the uncorrected version, at best she sounds like a female otaku/fujoshi, and at worst she sounds like a hormone-driven boy.

Example 2: The first time Kyon(f) tries to talk to Haruki.  Sure the outcome is the same, i.e. Kyon(f) stops talking to Haruki vs. Kyon(m) stops talking to Haruhi, but the reasoning behind it has to be different.  I'm pretty sure Kyon(f) has a lot of things to say, since females are not afraid to be sensitive about their own feelings and be elaborate in describing them, so she must be holding back because of something else other than having nothing to say.  The most credible cause of this would be spite/anger at Haruki's attitude towards her.

Example 3: In the discussion of how hot the guys are, with Taniguchi's rankings, there are many things that just wouldn't be said because the thought processes of females that are completely different from males.  This is no more apparent than the awkward giggle inserted into Taniguchi's opening statement.  The traditional male would assume that girls get all giggly when they talk about boys, but that's a simply a big stereotype since snickers, snorts, and raucous laughter can also occur when you talk about things that most possibly have shortcomings.  Plus, Taniguchi is in her "lecture mode", therefore by all accounts she would try to be as serious as possible, even if it's about some nonsensical subject, so why would she just giggle out of nowhere?  Truly a discrepancy between the male mode of thought and what actually occurs in a girl-to-girl talk.

Example 3.5: Also in the discussion, Taniguchi mentions Asakura's butt.  Now, unless Kyon(f) is a prude, she would appreciate a shapely male as much as the next female.  So why in the world would she sound like she's disgusted?  While she may not say it out loud like Taniguchi, who lacks a bit of inhibition, she will most definitely agree with her if Asakura is as hot as Taniguchi describes him.

Example 4: Haruki's violence against Kyon(f) in the middle of class.  While it seemed funny in the original, when the genders are reversed this scene is just in bad taste if we don't ameliorate it a bit.  As we know, Haruhi/Haruki still has a modicum of common sense despite the eccentricities.  I'm pretty sure Haruki knows that as a male it's a bad idea to hit a girl, as things are much more serious compared to the other way around, even if we don't like to admit it.  Also, even though sarcastic wit is a good defense against a lot of things and is the only thing that Kyon(m) really needs, Kyon(f) would know a whole new set of defenses against the dangers of the world she faces as a female.  Kyon(f) would not be as much a pushover as Kyon(m), because girls really do have to stand up more for themselves than boys.  So in this scenario, it is more likely for Kyon(f) to threaten Haruki with a lawsuit than simply letting this act of assault pass unnoticed.  And we can't have Haruki actually banging Kyon(f)'s head against the desk, as this would escalate the gravity of the matter, therefore I propose that we leave the impact out and simply have the pain come from the ponytail being pulled.


Finally, even though this is in theory as close a port as possible from the original, changing some of the things the characters say and do wouldn't hurt.  I mean, what's the point of reading the same jokes twice?  If it's possible, I would like for us to inject fresh humor into the piece.  This also ties in with my second point, because the nature of the quips made by Kyon(f) would be different from the ones made by Kyon(m), simply because of gender.

I agree with you on all points. [[User:RandomFangirlofnoRealPlotSignifigance|Wow, my name is really long]]