Editing KSGU:Volume 6 Chapter 1 (section)

===Part 10===

The dunes that were blown by the winds would change their forms from time to time, revealing the beauty of a woman’s body. The gradual ridges depicted the surface of a plump waist, and an observer would not help but think that it might feel as soft as a human body.

But in fact, these stretches of gradual sand dunes were the obstacles stumbling the feet of travelers. For every step they took, the sand pile would collapse, and the little amount of physical strength would dissipate bit by it. They had not completed even one-third of the journey on the second night of the trip. Banagher gritted his teeth, trying his best to follow Zinnerman who was walking 10m in front of him. The dry air of the night blew aside his sweat, causing his skin to tense up due to the cold. The temperature was around 10 degrees Celsius, and if there were wind, the temperature the body would feel should be blown this.

He had already drank one day’s worth of water, and logically, the bag should have become lighter, but he found it heavier than yesterday because he did not sleep well in the day. Whenever his consciousness was about to fade, a large number of flies would fly from out of nowhere, and the fluttering of the wings would prevent him from sleeping. The sunlight would shine in through his eyelids, unwilling to fade. The rest time would then end just when he was about to enter dreamland, and he would begin his trek again when the sun sets. The fatigue accumulated on the previous day was still on him, and he could not muster his appetite as he continued to walk and drag his lethargic body.

What about Zinnerman? Banagher pursued the figure that disappeared behind the ridge and finally stepped on the top. After seeing the scenery laid out in front of him, he was speechless.

After walking down the slope, he would have to go uphill again, and there was another dune on the other side of the dune. There was a ridge of dunes that littered the landscape, and the large ones could reach 100m tall, while the wide ones could reach several kilometers. The gradation presented by nature was so intricate it was shocking. There did not seem to be any room for humans senses to be involved with, and the overly intricate scene caused him to feel like vomiting. Zinnerman left behind footprints as he walked down the slope, looking like a speck of dust destroying these layers.

''Is this nature? Was humanity born from this merciless beauty? Did they carve out thousands of years of history like this?'' Banagher’s mind and soul that grew up in the large cylinders called colonies were shocked, and he remained rooted to the ground.

The dunes lit under the moonlight did not have any color, and the white gradients of the ridge drew a clear divide with the pitch darkness of night as the single toned world of desolation stretched down the endless horizon. ''This is impossible. Anyone who wants to cross this place must be out of their mind.'' Banagher yelled in his heart as his unwittingly retreated, and as he stepped backwards, the sand at his feet immediately collapsed, and his body was dragged down by the sand dune below. He landed on his backside, and tumbled back due to the weight of the haversack on his back, and rolled down the dune without being able to adjust himself.

His sights started to spin wildly, and the powder-shaped sand entered his nose and eyes. He let his shoulders and stomach hit the sand as he rolled down the slope like a broken puppet, before his body finally managed to stop rolling. He wanted to spit out the sand in his mouth, but he could not secrete any saliva, and he had no strength to sprout his body that was filled with sand as he could only hear the sound of footsteps approaching as they stepped on the sand. Banagher moved his fingers that laid feebly on the sand and tried to open his eyes, seeing the tip of Zinnerman’s boots in his blurry sights.

He felt his arm being pulled by the other man, and his upper body that was sprawled on the floor was dragged up completely. His legs moved on their own, trying to stand up straight, but was unable to do so even with this momentum. He bent his knees that could not exert strength, and collapsed under the weight of the haversack again before sprawling on the floor. Zinnerman too tumbled on the sandy ground and gave an exasperated look as he stared at this ridiculous scene, muttering, “You idiot, you didn’t drink, did you?”

“Didn’t I tell you to drink regularly even if you’re not thirsty?”

Banagher’s face was dragged up, and the opening of the bottle was brought right to his lips. The water that was taken in instinctively entered his windpipe, causing him to choke hard. He bent down, used his remaining strength to cough, and his face hit the sandy ground that was thoroughly cold. “Oi, pull yourself through.” Zinnerman said, but Banagher pushed aside his arm, curled up his body that was having difficulty in breathing, ''Leave me alone.'' and his dry lips mouthed out the words,

“Just leave me alone…please let me stay here.”

Banagher let out a hoarse voice from his throat that felt like it was stuck. After a short moment of silence, “Don’t say such sorry things.” Zinnerman answered, but his voice felt so distant.

“Even if I walk along with you, I’ll just drag you down. Please move first, I’ll try to find a way…”

“What nonsense are you spouting? What can you do alone when you can’t even read the constellations? You’ll just move around in the same direction and get dried up to death in the wild.”

“That’s fine too…you pulled me out here for this aim, right?”

“Huh?”

“You want to let me dry out to death in the desert…so just kill me…”

Banagher sensed that the bearded face was raising his eyelids, taking a deep sigh through his nose. “Really, I didn’t expect you to have such thoughts when you came along with me.” Zinnerman said this with a wry look as he dusted off the sand on his buttocks and stood up.

“Just like I said, this stretch is the toughest area. It’ll take a week for us to make a detour, so that means we can only move through this stretch. Once we can do so, it’s all flatland there on. It’s just a little longer, hang in there.”

''Hang in there.'' These words entered Banagher’s heart, causing him to feel a burning sense of negativity. ''Why must I be the one hanging in here? What right do I have?'' He grabbed the sand and looked back at Zinnerman’s eyes that were looking down at him and moved his throat, “I am…!” that was about to be blocked.

“I rode on a mobile suit, killed people, and now I’m desperately trying to walk in this desert. How much more do you want me to work hard? What exactly do you hope that I do…!? Everyone’s just caring about themselves, forcing others into despair…that’s too irresponsible…”

''Do what you feel you have to do, fulfill your responsibility.'' The words Cardeas and Daguza said echoed in his empty body dampening his sights. ''Even if I worked hard here, I can’t save anyone. No one will end up being saved, and nobody will save me. I don’t want to do anything, and I know that no matter what I do, everything will all be wasted. It’s just like what my ‘older brother’ said, I’m a seed of disaster bringing misfortune to others.''

''I’m bothered even when people placed their expectations on me. I have nothing to repay you. I just feel “disjointed” from the world as I lived in a corner of an artificial colony. If there’s a chance to return to such a lifestyle, I really want to return. I want to return to the moments where I didn’t have to kill anyone, not get cursed by my own bloodline, and live my life with the vague gentleness. If only I never rode on the “Unicorn”. If only I never met Audrey—'' the water droplets that flowed down his face landed on the floor, and he grabbed the sand in his hands tightly as he heard the sound of these water droplets dripping into the dry ground. Zinnerman snorted out air as he patted the captain’s hat that was covered in sand, saying with a spurning tone, “What are you hoping from an outsider unrelated to you?”

“It’s already tough for those who want to live normal lives to take care of you, let alone at this moment of life and death. Even if they’re just saying that they care, you should be grateful that someone’s willing to talk to you.”

To Banagher, these words were unexpected. He felt the lead in his stomach twirling and saw Zinnerman’s face in his sights. At this point, he saw that the two eyes looking down at him were giving off a glint of light that was stronger than the night sky.

“Even if you complain to me like that, your expression isn’t showing any signs of dying off. You still have the strength to fight. It’s because I felt that you can stand on your own that I brought you along. No matter how painful it is, if you’re a man, you should answer back to other people’s expectations, raise your chest and endure until the moment you die.”

Zinnerman carried his haversack again and stepped forward without waiting for a reply. Banagher supported his upper body almost instinctively, “Fight…what do you want me to fight with?” and asked. “Think about it.” the back profile that answered this had already left Banagher halfway out of its mind.

“A man’s life is a battle until death.”

He added these words that came flowing over with the wind hit the ears and went off. Banagher raised his knees forward and brought his upper body forward as he stood on the sandy ground shakily. He stepped forward to the back profile that was leaving him, not know exactly why he had to do this. ''I’m an idiot.'' His body that realized this sufficiently stepped on the endless stretch of gradients.

He walked on the ground that would collapse whenever he stepped, climbed uphill step by step, went down again, and would then move along a towering ridge to the next dune. He did not want to lose to that back profile, and he wanted to catch up to the man; Banagher’s thoughts became his pillar of support as he continued to chase silently. The moonlight was covered by the dune behind him, and the starry light caused the dunes hidden in the darkness to appear. Nothing was moving except for the two shadows that were some distance away from each other, moving forward as they left small trails on the sand dunes. This was a world where nothing could be heard other than the sound of wind and their own breathing. It seemed that all of humanity had died off as both of them were the only ones left in the world, absolute silence surrounding them…

Zinnerman did not look back as he continued on in regular steps. Banagher let his body that was carrying the bag lean forward as he moved his own feet silently. ''What’s with that guy?'' He could not see any clear goal from him like Cardeas, and he was not a by-the-book soldier like Daguza. Zinnerman was different from Frontal in that he did give off a human-like vibe, but there was some attraction from his back that caused Banagher to be dragged along for some reason. Even without looking back, he could grasp Banagher’s current situation. If Banagher fell, he would return to pick him up. While he gave a mysterious sense of relief, there was some obstinate feeling from him, and he did not allow others to enter his own heart. in the end, that figure that he could not get close to remained right in front of him, even though he would not leave—

''“I met the Captain at the Federation’s detention barrack. At that time, I was part of the Youth Service Squad, a group of brats that would listen to the orders from anyone else in the base. Same goes for Gilboa. We’re all stripped naked and had our butts inspected, and we can be said to be a band of brothers on the same boat of disaster.”''

The words Banagher heard from Flaste before he left echoed in his mind, and he looked at the sand that landed at his feet. During the One Year War, Zinnerman and company took part in an attack on Earth, and fought until the bitter end in Africa before being captured by the Federation. They then awaited the end of the war in the detention cells, not knowing how the war in space ended, and nobody told them what happened to their hometown.

''“To the Federation, we’re just demons who sent a colony crashing to Earth. The treatment we had at the detention barracks was way different from what was in the agreement, but it didn’t matter. Even if we were brats back then, we’re all soldiers. As long as we ate the food the army gave us, we had to bear the name of the country no matter where we went. What I could not forgive was that the Federation pointed their guns at our relatives left in our hometown.”''

''“After the war ended, the Principality of Zeon was forced to disband and restart as a republic. However, a change in name alone can’t possibly erase all hatred that was culminated since the past. To the occupying army on the republic, Zeon was Zeon. They could not end all grudges just because the war ended, because too many people died in it. While the big-shots were negotiating for peace, the occupying forces had been building up their unhappiness. And there was an increase in voices by the day, like whether they could forgive the Zeon monsters, like whether they should raze the Zeon colonies to the ground like how we suffered, until it reached a point where it was not surprising to have any riots. Kill off all these inhumane Zeons, go to Zeon if you want to snatch women. Those people grew up hearing these words during the war, and some of their brothers died in Zeon’s hands. Sacrifices were needed to vent their frustrations. They needed something to vent their anger and hatred and slice it up for the public to see…the place they chose was the town the Captain’s home was.”''

The name of the town that was chosen was called Globe. That night, there was a curfew enforced on it, and all the residents were forbidden from moving out. As everyone held their breaths and hid inside, the occupying force encircled the place and charged into the town under the preface of suppressing riots. The soldiers who went out were about to return back, so there were old people, women and children left inside the town.

The soldiers that were manipulated by the higher-ups in a subtle manner were beasts hungry for blood. During the night, they opened every single household door and did whatever they wanted. To them, it did not matter whether it was an adult or a child. The men were tortured to death, the private parts of the women were violated, and the children that were shrieking and crying were shot down, unable to cry. Armed soldiers surrounded the town, and nobody could reach their hand for support. The police and the media could only remain silent at this ‘venting of frustration’ both the occupying army and the Republic’s government allowed.

There was no consensus on Globe being the sacrifice in the first place, but the fact remained that when the colony was thrown down to Earth, the footage of when Zeon celebrating and applauding their victory was spread throughout the world, and the residents of Globe were caught on television. The sight of the residents of Zeon smiling as they trampled on billions of corpses, immersed in a celebratory atmosphere—probably caused the Federation people watching this live telecast to gather their hatred and anger on the town of Globe that just happened to be on television. Either way, there was none of the terms ‘logic’ and ‘rationality’ in the soldiers’ minds when they ravaged the entire town, and their savage behavior after this violence easily broke down the lives of the people that built this town. They were mocked, trampled, and robbed of all their pride. More than thousands of people suffered the most cruel deaths in the world.

Those who died early were fortunate. If there were children watching their mothers being raped, the reverse could have happened in the future. No one could remain sane after such a cruel night. The festival of madness lasted until morning, leaving only counting corpses. Burnt scenes floated out from the houses that caught fire, and the stench of corpses and pee were mixed inside, remaining inside the colony for countless days. Just like how the Zeon army introduced poison gas into a colony, the town became a complete wasteland. No, it was not even a wasteland, but a used ‘public toilet’ for the Federation army to vent their frustrations, an exhibition of the cruelty humanity could show.

The Federation explained to the public that the tragedy of Globe happened because the residents rioted as the military was oppressing the resistance, and they had to suppress them with military force. The Republic government and the media accepted this saying and both the occupying army and the republic government had a common understanding as they accepted this, that they should permit such behavior if that kind of sacrifice could allow them to calm down. Either way, the truth was as clear as daylight even without explaining. Zinnerman and company returned back to Zeon after an exchange of prisoners, and immediately understood what happened after seeing his own hometown ravaged to the ground. They hated the Federation, hated the Republic government that became a mere puppet, and more than anything, hated themselves for being unable to protect their families.

They cursed themselves for being weak, and whenever they thought about the suffering they suffered before their deaths, their frustrations would cause them to blame themselves, until they went mad for days. To these people who lost their hometown in all sorts of ways, the only choice left for them was to fight on. “Axis”, in the distant asteroid belt, took in the recently born Mineva Zabi, and this place became the hiding place for Zinnerman and company for years. After “Axis” returned to the Earth celestial sphere, they called themselves Neo Zeon and started from there, investing themselves in the two Neo Zeon Wars. There was no such thing as ceasefire, and they continued to start wars all to accept that they were still alive.

''“Even till now, I wonder what will happen to me if the opposite was true. In a war, anyone will go insane. It’s not rare to see photos of people smiling and showing V-handsigns even after seeing the corpses of enemy soldiers piled up one after another…but the people from the Federation are humans, and we’re humans. Some things can’t be forgiven no matter what people say. If anyone heard that the tragedy of Globe was filmed and still circulated in the black market, I’ll want to send another colony down.”''

''“Do you understand? Our wives and kids became toys covered with blood, and that image is filmed up and still circulated around somewhere in the world. Some sickos even feel excited by seeing that. We couldn’t save them even if we heard the screams from that time. It’s impossible for time to be reversed. Can you imagine that kind of regret, that bitterness that’s much worse than us being chopped up to pieces?”''

This was not a question that could be answered immediately. Banagher merely lowered his head and avoided Flaste’s bloodshot eyes.

''“We, who were given a new lease of life to act as bodyguards for the princess, spent our efforts finding the scumbag dealer who circulated the video. We discovered Marida when we were checking on the routes those bloody perverts used. As for Marida…well, I suppose I shouldn’t mention. Anyway, we didn’t do this out of fun.”''

''“Zeon did launch a colony down to Earth, and it is understandable that there is ample reasons for us to die. But the hatred we put on ourselves is different from a conflict between countries. It’s not about reviving Zeon and redeeming ourselves. We don’t care about what happens to the “Box”; we only have two options, whether to curse the world or to keep fighting.”''

''Therefore, don’t think that you definitely won’t be killed off.''  Flaste ended off, grabbed Banagher by the chest, and chided him sternly,

''“I don’t know your background, but I do know that you’re the enemy pilot who killed Gilboa. Listen, I’ll make you pay if you dare pull the Captain down. if you’re a pilot, build your own way to live like a pilot.”''

''A pilot is a fighting unit that has no grudges whether it is killed or killed others.'' Banagher compared these words to what Marida said before as he started to think. He was viewed as a pilot, and even if it was an outcome prompted out of coincidence, he had fulfilled the purpose of a pilot. Even if he was called a brat, no one was willing to play around with him. He thought, ''I’m seen as being part of the situation, and I’m actually affecting the situation.''

It did not happen like this because he hoped for it. It was the same for Zinnerman or Flaste or the rest. Everyone was caught in an unreasonable situation. Even if they wanted to live in any way they wanted, this world was too cruel, and humans were too helpless. Currently, he was on the border of life and death. He did not know how much he could continue walking. The body of flesh that was removed from its civilized looking skin was so fragile. Perhaps it was a mistake to think that humans were born with such a cruel nature, and an absolutely unreasonable possibility.

Even so, humans continued to live on, fought against this harsh nature, drank water, and devoured other forms of life. Zinnerman harbored such pain that could not be compensated even in death, but he still lived on. Banagher kept saying that he did not want to do anything, but he was still walking. He could stop in his tracks, but an unknown impulse he had no idea of was pushing him as he continued to walk forward without caring.

That was because Banagher instinctively knew that if he stopped in his tracks, he would be losing to this unreasonable situation. The moment he stopped and started cursing the world, his world would be shut off. Humanity used their fragile bodies to explore nature, survive and finally fly into space. This impulse that ignores everything pushes all unreasonable parts of the world, whether they were diseases, famines, discriminations', war…all the lives living on this world would have to fight against such unreasonable things, and the history of wars were past of humanity’s history.

That was why they had to progress, to move forward, to keep walking straight until they could accept this, to this world that would liberate them from all unreasonable things. Even if they know that such a world did not exist, they had to continue on mindlessly, even if they had to destroy this nature around them. They had to keep shouting as part of their instincts, that they would not lose as long as they were walking forward.

And then, they had to make an endless dream. They could not allow themselves to stop, they had to desire, rush to the target they wished to destroy and find the hope that had never wilting. They had to harness the power of possibilities residing inside their bodies and believe that tomorrow would be better. ''A glass of water, a little compassion from everyone else, I feel like I can continue on a little longer just by knowing the suffering everyone had.'' As he harbored such simple and gentle thoughts…

However, living bodies were still bodies of flesh. Even if he was unwilling, the flesh had its own limits. A strong sleepy feeling suddenly surged up in Banagher, and his feet were starting to feel heavy. The shadows of night gathered from around, and his visibility quickly darkened. ''No, don’t sleep, keep going.'' Even as he said these words in his heart, it was useless as the ground at his feet rose up vertically, and his hands that wanted to support his body slid along the sand. The impact that crashed into the ground became a distant echo, and Banagher could not even feel the impact of the fall as his face was buried in the sand, his consciousness drifting away.