Editing The Zashiki Warashi of Intellectual Village:Bonus4 (section)

===Part 15===

“Well?”

We were in the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department’s old conference room.

The room was now labeled as Investigation Department 1’s 0-X Office.

I had gone to so much effort saving her, yet the twintailed Mystery Freak named Hishigami Enbi (who was in another outfit that might as well have been a swimsuit) was glaring at me.

She brought up the issue at hand.

“They’re multiplying.”

“…”

“They’re multiplying like crazy! Being a Hishigami Woman was supposed to be super rare, so why are there ten more of them than yesterday!? My value is dropping like a rock!!”

“Th-there were a variety of reasons for this! This was the only place for them I could think of! Just let me explain. Although it might take a few days before all of this is over…”

“Now, then. Which interrogation room is free right now?”

“I don’t think you need to go that far!”

I was the only actual detective in the 0-X Office and the rest were a variety of middle school girls, middle school girls, idols, middle school girls, and a Shikigami.

But one part of the group was especially out of the ordinary.

Hishigami Arawa, Shitsu, Raku, Yuu, Rou…and what were the others called? At any rate, when gathered together, they looked like the jacket of a fighting game.

“Now, detective, what is this I hear about not attaching GPS trackers to their ankles?”

“Oh, well, just think of their situation like yours. And doing that would be counterproductive anyway. I’d never be able to bridge the gap between us.”

“Okay, fine! But what is this Hishigami Annex of the Tokyo Detention Center!? It’s just a luxury apartment in Toranomon’s best district!”

“Don’t ask me! Go ask that idiot Mishima!!”

Even I was shocked by that one. They couldn’t be arrested without charging them with something and they couldn’t be given a proper trial, so they were only being taken into custody, given the label of a prisoner awaiting trial, and working off each of their crimes (which would normally warrant imprisonment times in the quadruple digits) with community service – that is, helping us with other cases. But this meant they were living better than me in my student apartment in Ochanomizu!

“So criminals get treated better than honest people these days? Then I think Enbi-chan needs to go bad to get her detective’s attention.”

“Please spare me! I already have my hands full!”

And why were there no other men here!? It might make me sound spoiled, but the place felt really awkward! Couldn’t a filthy guy show up every so often!?

Enbi rested her head in her hand and sighed.

“Well, I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything else from Uchimaku Hayabusa, the man of legend who managed to win the hearts of all 78 members of the national idol group Tarot Girls 22…”

“Hold on a second. What was that dangerous-sounding comment?”

“Now I’m feeling blue…”

As the Mystery Freak collapsed limply onto the desk, Atou Minori, civilian assistant producer at Hachi TV, approached with a grin on her face.

“I’m generally not interested in gossip, but how about you make a comment, Uchimaku-kun?”

“Wait, you idiot! Why is that camera running!? This place is supposed to be secret! Just leaking the building’s internal structure increases the risk of a terrorist attack!!”

“Oh, dear. Dodging inconvenient questions with unrelated arguments? You really are a civil servant.”

“Shut up, San-san.”

“You know I hate that…”

My other (old college) upperclassman (who had fluffy hair, glasses, and incredibly large breasts) grew tearful. Her name was Tsugawa San and it apparently still bothered her when people called her San-san.

Then Chief Superintendent Mishima, the bastard who created this chaotic 0-X Office, stepped inside. I could never tell if he was really busy or never had anything to do.

“Hi, Uchimaku-kun. Do you have a moment?”

“You’re kidding, right? I’ve skipped right past the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department and made the National Police Agency mad at me?”

“It is true I’d like to say a thing or two about your ability since it only took you a month to throw off the power balance so badly you’ve created the most powerful division in any police institution, but it all works out in the end since that just means the underhanded sort of people will be too afraid to touch you. It’s been a little difficult restraining the Ministry of Defense, but you’re going above and beyond as far as crime prevention is concerned.”

“This doesn’t sound like a lecture. Then why are you here?”

“Well, you’re free to build up a powerful fighting force if you want, but I want to make sure you’re managing them properly. Look, aren’t you missing some of the new Hishigamis?”

“Of course n-…huh!? A few of them really are missing!? Where did Yume and Taga get off to!?”

I cried out like an owner of snakes, scorpions, or other bizarre pets who had discovered some had escaped, but then I heard a sound from below the table I was sitting at.

The innocent voice of a ten-year-old girl followed.

“Ee hee hee. I’m right here, Onii-chan. After all, making this my spot is nice and suggestive. Hee hee hee.”

Before I could respond in shock, Enbi bristled in anger.

“You just don’t get it! That’s not what love is all about. You can’t just do whatever comes to mind! You need to keep some kind of layer in the way!! You need to keep it in a sweet sugary wrapper, like the fantasy of an all-girls school smelling nice even after gym class!!”

“I don’t care about love or romance or whatever. When I see a pinnacle of ethics like Onii-chan, I just want to conquer him. I am Yume who Destroys Ethics, after all.”

I pulled Yume out as she started shaking, but then something soft pressed against my back.

Someone whispered to me while nearly rubbing her cheek against me.

“Ethics, hm? Raise the bar a little further and you reach the level of faith. And that’s my territory.”

“Taga! Wait! Not so close!”

I didn’t have time to say anything more because something heavy rested on my head.

But surely those soft somethings weren’t what I thought they were.

“From the viewpoint of someone who destroys education, it might not be bad to corrupt a symbol of justice like you.”

They really were breasts!

The legends saying that large ones were a strain on the shoulders seemed to be true. But this was no time to avoid reality by focusing on that weight. Even more of them were pressing in around me!

“How about we go destroy some systems together? And, wait. You all aren’t leaving any space for me. Quit clinging to him from the side! Oh, I got his dominant hand!”

“What we need to tear down are the traditions of the police. And as long as I can accomplish that, I’m willing to share you with some others at the same time.”

“I’m not really sure what’s going on, but I’m sure I’ll find a way to destroy finances somewhere in here.”

“…Nmh.”

“I-If Arata…is going to join in…I’m joining in too. I can give myself…any body type…that Hayabusa wants.”

''You don’t even care about your Hishigami stuff anymore, do you!? You’re just having fun with this, aren’t you!?

But…

“Oh, dear. It looks like they beat me to it. And as a destroyer of trust, I was really interested in luring a police detective to my side.”

“I just have to pull the entire chair to bring him closer to me. If you think taking up your position provides you with a stable sanctuary or safe zone, then you’re already in range for me.”

…

''How?

''How are Kuji and Ama already taking part in this kind of commotion!? They were the culprits!! Not that I want to know all that much about the underside of this country!

“Everything seems to be in order here.”

My eyes widened at Mishima’s cheerful comment.

“What part of this is ‘in order’?”

“All of it. …Honestly, even Majina was more discriminate than this. Uchimaku-kun, can you not tell how much of a miracle it is that you can do all this like it’s normal? The fact that you can gather all these Hishigami Women together without it all breaking apart is simply incredible. Shikimi, you know what I mean, don’t you?”

All I heard was a “hmph” from the other side of the room.

That mysterious (extraordinary monster who looked like a) short white-haired girl in Japanese clothing had refused to say a word.

However, she was not the type to hide it when she was displeased.

So did her silence mean she felt something comfortable enough to simply accept in silence?

Enbi, meanwhile, was growling at her sisters and cousins who were clinging to me from all sides, but she also spoke to me.

“So what are you going to do now that you’ve created a place for the Hishigami Women, detective?”

“Can I give a serious answer?”

“Maybe after you do something about this decidedly ''not'' serious harem scene! Did you steal someone’s championship belt in some kind of ring, detective!?”

The Mystery Freak was quite furious, but I was already switching modes.

“I can’t ignore the Hishigami Women who have slipped through the cracks of the world. Since they have these skills, I want them to use those for society’s benefit. More importantly, it’s definitely wrong that it’s an accepted practice to kill them the instant they’re born. …But on a more realistic level, it won’t be easy finding all of them. I doubt even the power of the police will be enough to protect them.”

“Enough setup. What exactly are you going to do?”

“I want to start with what I know. There is one Hishigami Woman I already know fairly well.”

“Wait. Hold on a second, detective! I, um, I seriously doubt that’s possible. I can’t even imagine my sister acting all lovestruck!!”

“I will save Hishigami Mai.”

I said it quickly.

I said it before my own resolve could dull.

“She’s violent, wicked, perfect, and hopeless, but so were the other Hishigami Women I’ve seen. And I’ve learned that the people most in need of saving are so cornered they’ve forgotten that they even want to be saved. And I can’t put this off any longer. So I want your help with this. I want to find that Hishigami Woman with the rusty blades in her eyes and face her once more.”

“Uheh,” groaned the Mystery Freak. “That’s fine,” she added. “But if you do pull off your dream of having the complete set, please don’t tell me you’re going to go for the Hishigami Men next. If you’re that indiscriminate, Enbi-chan is going to have to punch you.”

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