Editing NouCome: Volume 1 Chapter 1 (section)

===Part 1===
What does a person do if an erotic book falls by the roadside?


The natural thing would always be to take a quick glance.

If the person is a high school student, there is the matter of appearances. He cannot pick it up, but he can go all-out in taking peeks. 

If the exposed pages are a little manic, then there will be a rise in the tension. 

However, such small happiness is often crushed.


[CHOOSE: ① Press it up against your face and smell it ② Eat it]


Right now, these choices appear in my head, and I must choose one or the other. It's always that way.

Erotic books are commonly read to get excited. If you're excited to smell or eat them, then you are the type who would already be excited that way.

However, I... smelt it.

I wasn't excited at all. That's natural. After all, being so close to it, I could only see skin color with no detail whatsoever. 

"Woooow, look at that guy."

"Smelling the erotic book, what a pervert!"

Grade school kids passing by pointed and yelled at me.

"EroSmeller is looking this way."

"Haha, that guy is absolutely a virgin. Vir-gin!"

They ran off, laughing.

"...What am I doing so early in the morning?"

When it was satisfied, I quietly placed the erotic book back down on the roadside.

『Absolute Choice』 

The phenomenon is, as the name I gave it suggests, one where I absolutely have to choose one choice or the other. It creates a choice made of neither spoken nor written letters in my head.

Information is transmitted from an unknown source directly into my brain, which instantly comprehends it.

It ignores all five senses; even if I close my eyes or block my ears, it will not disappear until a choice is made.

"Oh, Kanade-chan."

Abruptly, a deep voice came from in front of me.

"Geh..."

When I looked up, there she stood. Gondou Daiko (49), a housewife living nearby whose weight exceeds three digits<ref>Kilograms, so 220lbs+.</ref>. Seeing her body was like taking a punch to the gut.

"Kanade-chan, are you on your way to school now?"

"Ye-yes, that's right."

Daiko-san, who appeared to be returning from the convenience store, glued her eyes to me when I stepped into her view.

"Nufufu, you are as cute as ever."

"...!"

Chills ran down my spine.

Every time we meet, this person is weirdly happy to see me.

Apparently, I look exactly like her ex-husband when he was young. What kind of useless miracle is that?

Due to a reason like that, every day my virtue is in danger. Using school as an excuse, I attempted to leave quickly.

"Th-thank you, but I'm running late."


[CHOOSE: ① "Please hold me."  ② "Please hold me and go with your instincts!"]


...Are you serious?

The choices sometimes require words, not just actions, and no matter how unreasonable, the choices appear and must be followed absolutely.

Even if it says ① and ②, how are they different?

"...Please hold me."

I whispered the words in a low voice, as if I was trying to disappear. At the same time, a predatory light shone in Daiko-san's eyes, like a beast locking onto its prey.

"Kanade-chan... Finally."

This is getting way too dangerous!

"Wa-wait a moment, I just- Nooooo!"

"I accept, thanks!<ref>いただきます is mostly used for eating and often translated as "I'm digging in!" or "I'm starting" but the base words are 'Thankful acceptance'.</ref>"

What is happening?!

The lump of meat dashed madly at me, and I was hugged with all her might.

"Gyaaa!"

She's too strong! Even my bones are breaking<ref>Yabe is used with bones, it is a slang of Yabai which means beyond risky/amazing/terrible.</ref>! I have to say something before it's too late!

"Give in... I give in!"

My scream was totally ignored.

"Gyaaaaaa!"

"Fuu, thank you for the feast."

After many seconds passed, Daiko-san was satisfied(?), let me go, and laughed as she walked away with heavy lumbering footsteps. 

"Gu..."

I braced my wobbling knees and barely prevented myself from sinking down.

The time between absolute choices is completely random. It's not unusual to have them consecutively, but the combo of the erotic book and Daiko was too severe.

Feeling tired, I began to walk. As I approached the crossroads...


[CHOOSE: ① A beautiful girl falls from the sky ② Daiko-san falls from the sky ]


...No no no.

Daiko-san just walked towards her house moments ago... how is that possible? I know all too well, though, that Absolute Choice doesn't accept the laws of physics.

Once a choice states it, no matter how unscientific it may be, it will happen without fail if you choose it.

That is to say, if I chose ②, the probability of Daiko-san falling from the sky would be 100%. If I was to be hit by her... I'd die. Body and soul.

By eliminating that, it left me wondering at the wording of ①.

"What would happen then?"

Surely, a person would appear in the air? I looked up at the sky fearfully. Nothing was happening.  

"?"

While I wondered and looked down in front of me for a moment...

"Dowaaaa!"

Something was falling at blistering speed before my eyes and slammed into the ground.

"Nnn... Auuu..."

I was at a loss for words. Even though I had been somewhat mentally prepared... Something seriously fell.

But in the next moment, besides the idea of something falling, an intense question appeared in my brain.

"What... Is this?"

Because the person(?) was doing a human bridge position.

Disagreeable as it is, there's no other way to describe it... The person(?) who 
fell... was definitely doing a human bridge position.

Not facing downwards, or facing up; instead, it did a splendid bridge.

...Why?

It was too surreal a spectacle; I was frozen in place.

I froze for a dozen seconds. The living bridge suddenly collapsed.

Because of that, I returned to my senses. It pushed the mental impact of seeing a human bridge land and reminded me that a person fell from the sky.

"A-are you okay?!"

I was near panicking and was frantically shaking the body.

"Nnn... Fumiyu?<ref>ふみゅ seems to be her little sound when waking or puzzled.</ref>"

As though she was waking up, a weird sound escaped from her.

"Go-good..."

She was alive. My chest heaved a sigh of relief as she looked up.

"Ah? Here... where am I?"

She restlessly scanned the vicinity until settling on me.

"Um..."

She was breathtaking. Skin so white she was almost like a ghost, soft, fluffy blond hair, and clear, round blue 
eyes. She wore chocolate colored fairy-tale like clothing. 

And above all, a figure too buxom for a non-white<ref>You see this occasionally where they comment a girl's breasts are too big for her to be Japanese; this was just a bit more generic than that.</ref>. Her whole appearance was too surreal, and I couldn't help but be stunned.

Unlike me who couldn't find any words, her face suddenly brightened.

"Amakusa Kanade-san, right?"

"Eh?"

I was bewildered by her suddenly saying my full name.

"Ah... yeah, that's right."

I searched my memories, but I can't find anything regarding this beautiful girl in my brain.

"Err... you are?"

"Yes, my name is... Ah? My name is... Hmm... what was it?"

"No, I don't know..."

The girl looked like she was thinking a moment, then clapped her hands suddenly.

"I understand! I have lost some memories, like amnesia."

No, you really shouldn't say that so carelessly.

"When I fell, I likely received a strong shock to the head."

No, you did that beautiful bridge and your head didn't touch the ground.

"Oh well, I'll remember before too long. I'm the Heizaemon of calmness."

Heizaemon of calm<ref>reference to The Peony Latern a Edo-era story about a man who survived a poisoned by his second wife and her lover. He often flew into mad rages where he didn't recognize his daughter.</ref>... No one uses that expression these days, especially an openly foreign girl... Saying that was extremely incongruous.

"Ah... For now it would be good to call me Heizaemon."

I'll pass.

"Now, putting aside the name issue. Lets have an important talk, Kanade-san."

"Important?..."

She stepped close to my side with a defenseless smile, and I suddenly felt strange. 

What is it? The sense of deja-vu was strong.

"Please? Kanade-san?"

I got it... It reminded me of a dog.

It arbitrarily comes to your hand with unconditional trust and goodwill. This girl and a dog give off the same vibe.

By reflex, I petted her head.

Was this appropriate? Although I thought that, her face gave out a joyful expression that was far from hating it.

"Hehehe."

"Hmm?"

Part of her forelock stiffened and raised up unnaturally. When I stopped stroking her head, it returned to its original shape.

"Ah, when I'm happy it stands freely."

A tail... She's a dog after all.

Suddenly, a desire appeared. Inexplicably, I stretched out my hand to her.

"Hand."

"Yes!"

She held hers out.

"Sit."

"Yes!"

She did it. She's perfectly like a dog.

"Gugyuuuuuuu."

Then suddenly, a terrible sound echoed. For a moment it sounded the cry of a voice actor, but apparently it was this girl's stomach rumbling.  

"Ah, I'm hungry.<ref>おなかと背中が、うらがえりそうです literally means my stomach and back are reversed hence his follow-up thought.</ref>"

It was a grotesque image.

"You're really that hungry?... Ah, I might have something."

Remembering something, I reached into my bag and groped around.  

I pulled out a small chocolate bar. The moment it appeared, her face lit up.

"Ah, its chocolate!"

"Do you like this?"

"I love it!"

[[image:NoucomeVol1 015.jpg|thumb]] 

Her smile covered all of her face. It's forbidden to give chocolate to a real dog, but this girl was only dog-like. She was still human... right?

"Yes."

I undid the wrapping and threw it lightly in the air. She hopped to where it was falling and caught it with her mouth in mid-air.

"Delish!<ref>おいひーです  seems to be a mumbled 'delicious'</ref>"

Seemingly blessed, her face smiled happily. Like earlier, her forelock rose like a tail. It stood straight up... How strange.

"Ah, let's go with that."

She finished the chocolate and clapped her hands.

"What was that?"

"It's Chocolate."

"Ah, what?"

"That's my name."

"No... I don't understand what you mean."

"Kanade-san, do you like chocolate?"

"Hmm, I guess so. To the extent of putting some in my bag... I like sweet things in general."

"Then, my name is Chocolate."

What a simplistic way of thinking.

"No, Chocolate isn't chocolate."

"Ah, I'm not? Then... How about a French sounding Chocolat.<ref>her name switched from a 'Cho' spelling to 'Sho'. Normally they use 'Cho' for regular chocolate and 'Sho' when taking it from the French term for 'hot chocolate'. チョコレート (Chokoreeto) vs ショコラ (Shokora). </ref>"

I don't know which side of being intelligent she's on but when I think of Chocolat I think of a dog. The provisional name stuck though.

"Yes, it is decided!"

Ah, if she's convinced, it's likely good to go with it.

It's only a part of her memory that's lost. If she hears many things maybe she will remember her name.
Chocolat(?)... First of all, in order to determine how much memory she had, I asked her purpose.

"It is to take care of Kanade-san."

With no hesitation she declared that.

"Ah? Caring... for me?"

"Yes. Though my other memories aren't clear, that is completely certain."

Somehow, the situation has become weirder.

"I-is that so?... Then, your home; where are you from?

"There!"

She pointed above her head.

"Ah? From the north?"

Judging by appearance, she definitely wasn't Asian... Did she mean Russia, or even Northern Europe?

"No, above the sky.<ref>here she uses お空 which might be a very respectful way of saying the sky without meaning Heaven exactly.</ref>"

"Above... the sky?"

"That's right!"

No... though she did fall from the sky.

"In short, in order to take care of me you came from a world in the sky?"

"Just like that."

Chocolat took a guts pose<ref>Signature winning pose by Guts Ishimatsu where they pump their both fists straight in the air.</ref> with a huge smile on her face. In contrast, I felt chills in my heart.

"Goodbye!"

"W-why are you leaving? Please wait!"

I don't like doing it, but... It is all very dubious.

"I'll absolutely benefit you if you let me try staying with you!"

Why did Chocolat run after me while rubbing her hands together?

"No, things suit me fine now."

"Right now, I come with detergent."

"No. You are not a newspaper."

"I also come with watermelon and tempura."

"That sounds like it'll give a stomachache!"

"With an apple and a gorilla!" 

"I don't need them or a trumpet and panties!"

"Marriage and a letter of divorce are included!"

"Those absolutely shouldn't go together."

"I also come with a plot of land and the deed."

"I need that!"

"Sorry, that's a lie."

"Tell the truth!"

"『Guri and Gura』<ref>children's book</ref> also come with me."

"I have it. Don't make fun of a masterpiece!"

"Baka and Test also come with me."

"Things like that aren't sufficient! If that's the case, it's a failure, right?!"

"Then, buy this suspicious jar. Sign here."

"Trying to make a sale in a moment of confusion!..."

...Ku, who on earth is this person.

It's better not to get involved with her. I decided that and turned to walk away.

"Aaa!"

Behind me, a horrible fake voice rang out. I ignored it and continued on.

"Aaaaa!"

It was likely to keep going if I didn't react. Reluctantly, I turned around. Chocolat was coquettishly lying on the ground while looking up at me.

A handkerchief from somewhere was stuffed in her mouth as a prop... To think that such an irritating person had shown up.

"Later."

"Wait a moment, a weak girl has fallen down! You should be solicitously asking 『Are you okay, Baby?』"

Such lines are only permitted to Hanawa-kun<ref>Chibi Maruko-chan reference</ref>!

"You see, I have to be at school, so I don't have spare time to bother with you."

I've become more rude and less friendly with her<ref>Actual saying is he changed from calling her Kimi to Omae, basically choosing a ruder version of 'you' for her.</ref>. My brain must have judged that I don't need to respect this creature.

"It's okay! I'll listen to anything, so more, please!"

"Then, don't pay attention to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You have asked for a wish my power is not sufficient to fulfill."

Are you Shenron?!<ref>神龍, which means Holy or God dragon and is what they use for Shenron in Dragonball</ref>

Troubling... What should I do to shake off this strange creature?

While I was thinking about that, something caught my eye...

"Chocolat-san, Chocolat-san."

"Yes, what is it?"

I took the remainder out of the bag.

"Ah, it's chocolate! Can I have it?"

"Yes."

I dangled the chocolate from my hand in front of her.

"Please give it to me!"

Even though Chocolat was hopping up and down, she was relatively short and couldn't reach it. While holding it high, I
measured the timing.

It's good; the timing is just right. I'm sad to be wasting food, but...

"Here!"

As it passed, I threw the chocolate into the back of a pickup.

"Ah, wait please, chocolate!"

Chocolat ran with light steps after the pickup. 

I watched the gap between them increase until they went around the corner, disappearing from my sight without 
her giving up.

"Seriously..."

Even with a long wait, there was no sign of her returning. Even though I thought she was an idiot, I didn't think she'd be tricked that perfectly.

Golden Week was starting, the time when the calendar just reaches the summer and the weather turns warm, while a spring-like atmosphere still strongly remains. 

"Oh well... I'll be careful about that strange person."

I faced towards the school and began to walk.