Editing Talk:Rakuin no Monshou:Volume3 Chapter2 (section)

===Part 1===

the bottom layer consisted of houses standing directly before the cliff for the common class.
*At first I was picturing the elite housing on top of the cliff, and the common housing at the bottom. However, the use of “before the cliff” implies to me that all the housing is up the cliff, and that the common housing is near the cliff edge.  If that’s not correct (and my first mental picture was), then I might use “directly below the cliff” or “at the bottom of the cliff.”  Otherwise it’s probably good as is.
:*The wording is correct. I'll change bottom layer to lower layer. in the small chance it might help avoid this. 

they were more than willing to take themselves up in arms to protect their body and assets if they found themselves forced into nothing but unfavourable circumstances
*Revision for preference/flow: they were more than willing to take up in arms to protect themselves and their assets if they...
:-also minor note, I almost changed “take up in arms” to “take up arms”.  However, by googling it, it does appear to be an occasionally used phrase, so I assume it’s just something I was favoring the more common phrasing and left it as is.
:*CaM

, if Zaj suspected the information he wanted was there, he would listen to their long, unending conversations even if it was their first time meeting.
*Suggested revision for preference/flow: If Zaj suspected the information he wanted was present amongst these clients, he would...
:*CaM

However, Zaj Haman, having gone to Garbera to study in his earlier years, where he learned the ins and outs of operating airships, established Birac as a waypoint...
*Suggested revision for preference/flow: However, Zaj Haman, having studied in Garbera in his earlier years and learned the ins and outs of operating airships, established Birac as a waypoint...
:*CaM

and even now, sales of the ether alone could be said <!--to be enough--> to finance the entire country’s economy.
*It seemed like “...alone were said <!--to be enough--> to finance” would fit better?
:*CaM

“As for that Prince Gil,” Zaj inquired a worker in a room on the second floor as he ate a late lunch meal.
*Minor, but I’m not as confident on it: I thought it should be “inquired of a worker”?
:*I think both work. CaM.

Though Zaj held great interest regarding this topic, he was inevitably a merchant. He had no intention of sticking his head too deep into matters of imperial succession,
*I thought “ultimately” would fit better than “inevitably”.
:*CaM

There was a short pause. Gil was, still as ever, examining the pocket watch.
*Might be preference, but “still as ever” didn’t feel like it fit well.  If it’s not changing something you think is important, I’d suggest either “Gil was still examining the pocket watch” or “Gil continued to examine the pocket watch.”

Though he knew of the illustrious merchant, Zaj Haman’s name, he of course had no plans of visiting him until just shortly before his departure from Mephius. However, knowing of the ban of trade with the west, Orba thought something was strange.
*In the first sentence, I was a little confused when exactly he decided to visit him?  Is “departure from Mephius” referring to leaving Solon, or leaving Birac?  Also, it perhaps a matter of style, but “just” and “shortly” are possibly redundant.
*In the second sentence, “however” felt a little strange to me.  I think I understand that it’s there to indicate Orba thinking something was strange was what changed Orba’s plans.  I’m not sure exactly why, but I feel like “however” might fit better if “thought” was replaced with “realized.”

Orba experienced living in none other than Birac itself. With the following village burned by Oubary’s troops immediately after Apta had fallen, the city he scrambled to arrive at was this Birac.
*I think this is just a minor issue of deleting “following”.

If he was seriously saying this, then he’d be far from the spoken fool unworthy to be a successor. He’d be a seldom seen idiot.
*It sound like he’s saying Gil is not a ‘fool’, he is an ‘idiot’.  I would have expected him to be saying he was not an idiot, but it could mean he is implying a different meaning for ‘fool’ and ‘idiot’ (which a later line implies is the case).  If that’s the case, then a stylistic choice might be to say “seldom seen true idiot” to help distinguish more between the labels ‘idiot’ and ‘fool’ (assuming it’s consistent with the intended difference).
:*Well, the thing is, the words used here are うつけ and 愚か者, the first referring to 'a foolish person'(fool) and the second referring to 'a fool'(dumbass). 'seldom seen idiot' should be enough to imply the idea of a 'true' idiot, so I personally don't see the need to add it. It just makes it unnecessarily wordy. 

“How long have you been stealing away the eyes of the Mephian nobles and performing trade with the west?”
*“Stealing away the eyes” sounds like a Japanese phrase that works in English, but perhaps more awkwardly than it does in the original.  A possible replacement phrase could be “pulling the wool over the eyes of the Mephian nobles”, or just “deceiving”.
:*CaM.

His impression of him as an idiot hadn’t changed. However, if it were the meaning that defined an idiot...
*Just checking, the second sentence is saying Zaj’s definition of an idiot may have changed?
:*Umm, no. The kind of idiot he sees him as changes. So, kind of?