Editing User talk:Velocity7 (section)

== Editing WA2 == 
Hi, I'd like to work on editing WA2. Just to check on the general formatting, only scripts in Bold are clear for editing, right?
--[[User:Skies|Skies]] ([[User talk:Skies|talk]]) 15:48, 14 December 2013 (CST)
:Sure! --[[User:Velocity7|Velocity7]] ([[User talk:Velocity7#top|talk]]) 16:20, 14 December 2013 (CST)
:I've done preliminary editing of Script #1001. Please look it over and let me know any preferences for it. The tense was a little inconsistent so by default I converted it to past tense. Please let me know if you'd like it in present tense. --[[User:Skies|Skies]] ([[User talk:Skies|talk]]) 13:56, 15 December 2013 (CST)
:Doing it in present tense may actually be a better idea. Often the unspoken lines are used to convey Haruki's own feelings or internal thoughts regarding the present situation, and in such cases it sounds a lot better done in present tense. For example, in Script #1003, line #32 through #52, translating into past tense sounds awkward in itself, and I can't think of a good way to adapt line #40 into past tense without breaking the original translation. As far as I understand, majority of the original text is in present tense as well. Mixed tenses could be done according to script and situation, but it'd be nice to avoid inconsistency of that sort as much as possible. [[User:NaokiP|NaokiP]] ([[User talk:NaokiP|talk]]) 14:54, 26 December 2013 (CST)

I had the same thought as well. I have a lot of discrepancies with present tense in general, but VNs tend to be the one where it's the choice between style and staying true to the translation.
From my point of view the argument looks like this:
Go present tense and keep to the novel's delivery, but break the English at times.
Go past tense and keep the English fluid but break the translation at times.
I'll take a look at script #1003 and see if there are good ways to present it in past tense.
--[[User:Skies|Skies]] ([[User talk:Skies|talk]]) 16:46, 26 December 2013 (CST)
:I've put up my take on #1003, with narration done in present tense... hopefully I got it all. I need to review it again tomorrow, it's getting late. For now, it seems like a good idea to have a few versions of scripts so we can see what works best in both conveying the message in English and retaining the original Japanese, and so we can decide which is more important. [[User:NaokiP|NaokiP]] ([[User talk:NaokiP|talk]]) 20:42, 26 December 2013 (CST)