Editing HEAVY OBJECT:Volume8 Chapter 3 (section)

===Part 2===

Quenser, Mariage, and Heivia transferred from the Legitimacy Kingdom’s disguised cruiser “Scarlet Princess” to the Winchell family’s armed cruise ship “Summer Vacation”.

They moved from ship to ship using an unreliable makeshift bridge created by leaning a ladder on its side. The pitch black sea visible below needlessly filled them with fear.

Quenser scratched at his wet blond hair.

“Hi, I’m Quenser Barbotage.”

“I-I’m Mariage Nightcap.”

The eyepatch maid gave a frightening first impression, but she replied softly and with a smile.

“Welcome, you two. I am Karen I Winchell. Please feel at home during your short visit.”

Once she saw Heivia behind them, she blatantly clicked her tongue and spit over the handrail.

“Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu need to learn to introduce yourself without being asked.”

“I have to introduce myself!? As you well know, I’m your master, the great Heivia Winchell!!”

“Huh?” Mariage tilted her head. “That maid and the soldier are both named Winchell?”

Once she mentioned it, Quenser realized it was odd for a member of a noble family to be wearing a maid uniform.

But Heivia shrugged.

“My family has a custom of granting the name of Winchell to servants or cooks who give especially exemplary service. They’re adopted into the family, but adopted family has no legal rights in the Legitimacy Kingdom where bloodline is everything. They can’t inherit the family, so it’s nothing more than a title or a badge of honor. Speaking of which, the I of her middle name stands for Imitation.”

Karen I Winchell ignored the dung beetle and gave a splendid smile.

“The Winchell family has a custom of granting its name to servants who provide especially exemplary service. They are adopted into the family, but they have no legal rights in the Legitimacy Kingdom where bloodline is everything. I am well aware of my position as a maid. Oh, by the way, the I of my middle name stands for Imitation.”

“I just explained all that!! What is wrong with you!? Do you have a filter in place that keeps you from hearing what I say!?”

“The Summer Vacation is one of the Winchell family’s seven armed cruise ships. It is similar to that disguised cruiser, but the two ships deal with pirates differently: the cruiser is a military ship made to look like a cruise ship while this is a cruise ship with the weapons of a military ship added on. Rather than lure in enemies, we intimidate them into staying away.”

“Now you’re ignoring my protests!?” shouted Heivia.

The topic seemed to appeal to Quenser’s mechanical heart because his eyes began sparkling.

“That’s a huge gun over there, but how many centimeters is it?”

“It is 50cm. The Island Nation warships had 46cm guns, so this might be on the upper end of what is installed on ships. It is a far ways off from an Object’s weapons, of course.”

“It’s so huge that it all looks top heavy. How do you manage damage control?”

“This is a cruise ship, so a high center of gravity is unavoidable. However, the ship has a unique float structure, so it is sturdier than your average heavy cruiser.”

“M-more specifically! How does that technology work!? Pant pant!!”

“The entire outer shell is covered with small, honeycomb-like air tanks. In addition to acting as a simple float, it also reduces the effectiveness of chemical warheads that make use of the Munroe effect or metal jets.”

“Defense using air!? D-damn. So it’s made sturdy by faithfully following the standard of floating the ship with air. This has advanced in a different direction from the Objects that hold everything back with thick armor!! B-but wait. If I could overturn the idea that the two can’t work together, it might lead to a new Object design.”

Karen I Winchell tilted her head slightly and Mariage Nightcap had long since backed away.

“Um, excuse me, Mr. Barbatoge. Are you what is known as a geek?”

“N-no!! I may be interested in high-level technology, but it’s only because I want to become a dashing and productive member of society!! Y’know, the kind of person who the beautiful young lady in the neighborhood asks to hook up her recording equipment!!”

“Understood. So you are a geek who is not aware he is a geek.”

It seemed the maid had reached a strange conclusion.

As Quenser began protesting that she did not understand at all, a dark smile appeared on Heivia’s lips. The look in his eyes was telling Quenser to join him on the receiving end of the abuse.

Quenser knew being dragged down by that loser would not end well, so he began an attack in a more positive direction.

“Can nobles really own something like this? I’m not just referring to the weapons. It must take over one hundred specialists to run something like this.”

“We are nothing more than civilian maids trained in self-defense techniques. We may have acquired a few special international qualifications, but anyone could attempt to do the same.”

Heivia gave a piercing comment to throw cold water on Karen’s perfect smile.

“Don’t act like you’re not a monster of a woman who can kill a bear or a tiger barehanded.”

“What was that?”

Karen glared at him and he let out a shriek much like a tea kettle that had reached a boil.

Frolaytia gave a comment of her own over the radio.

“Not every noble owns an armed cruise ship. It costs 200,000 euros to run one of those for a full day. Taking a seven or eight day cruise around the world costs as much as a brand new stealth fighter. Unless you’re talking about the Winchell family, the Vanderbilt family, or another top-level noble family, they wouldn’t be able to keep a ship like that running even if they could purchase it.”

“And the Winchell family has seven of them? Huh? But why are maids riding around on something that eats up money like that?”

“It was originally a birthday present for some little sister or another, but she grew sick of it and now they ride around on it. If you don’t use machines periodically, they’ll break down, so the family turns a blind eye.”

“Uheh,” groaned Mariage.

However, Quenser latched onto something else entirely.

“Wait. Wait just a minute, Heivia. Did I hear that right? You have a little sister. And not just one! You have enough that you can’t keep track of them all? And on top of that, you have a beautiful maid as an adoptive older sister?”

Seeing his horrible friend nod, Quenser brought his radio to his mouth.

“Death to the bourgeois!! All who agree, raise your hand!!”

A thundering roar of voices reached them from the neighboring ship. Despite being past midnight, the lonely soldiers were full of energy. They likely had pent up energy after having nothing to do.

“The reality is nothing like what it sounds like!!” lamented Heivia.

“What!? Is this that theory about families with a real little sister having no dreams whatsoever!? I won’t allow it!! This is a crime of luxury!! What era of nobles are you from, dammit!?”

“I’m a real noble from this era!! Got a problem with that!?”

The two idiots began grappling, but Karen I Winchell intervened. Specifically, she sent a full-swing slap…no, strike with the butt of the palm into the noble’s cheek and sent him spinning through the air for several meters.

“Bbgh!! Bhbbh!!”

“Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu need to stop crying like a pig. Have you forgotten how to be polite in front of guests?”

All the blood drained from Quenser’s face as well.

“J-just the head? Y-you sent him several meters with a hit to the head? Just the head???”

“Do not worry. A strike from a slipper is not enough to kill a dung beetle.”

Mariage tugged on Quenser’s uniform with tears in her eyes. The look in those eyes said a further attack would kill Heivia if they did not change the subject.

“A-anyway! Miss Karen, I can think of you as part of the invincible maid unit that protects the Winchell family, right!?”

For some reason, the tall cool beauty’s face grew a bit flushed and she fidgeted while averting her gaze.

“I-I do not like that title. It is embarrassing.”

(Oh, this is working.)

Quenser decided to press on like this.

“Um, then what’s your actual title? Noble Maid probably applies to about a hundred maids on this ship.”

“I would fall into the Milk Maid category.”

“What kind of sexual title is that!!!???”

“Where are you looking and what are you imagining!?”

Karen’s entire face grew as red as a tomato and she covered her chest with her hands.

(I’m definitely on the right track!!)

Quenser gestured to his horrible friend, but Heivia did not see it as he lay limply on the deck.

Mariage tugged on Quenser’s clothes and whispered to him.

“U-um, isn’t a milk maid a maid on a rural farm that milks cows and makes butter?”

“N-not in this case, honey.” Heivia finally rose unsteadily to his feet. “She’s a legit combat type that directly controls the security of detached Winchell land such as manors or plantations. 

Don’t think for a second that she’s some naïve maid who milks cows.”

Karen loudly clicked her tongue and Heivia grew desperate.

“There’s a custom of sending noble heirs to an area with clean water and air as soon as they’re born. That meant she was in charge of breastfeeding me, but you wouldn’t believe how that turned out!! The policy is meant to protect the heir from pollution and allergies, but the next thing I knew, that eyepatch maid kept trying to kill me!!”

“That was a part of your advanced education.”

“You mean that nonsense about a noble needing to be prepared for attempted poisonings or other assassinations!? You can imagine the disasters that led to!”

Quenser was on the verge of giving a groan of sympathy, but then…

“I also prepared you for the seductive techniques of female spies and marriage scam artists, dung beetle.”

“I’m going to encase you in concrete and throw you into the ocean! Get over here!!!”

“She wouldn’t have gone through with it!” shouted Heivia. “I knew it was a trap and she threatened to chop it off if I gave in!!”

Despite his protests, Quenser began beating him with clenched fists. He used the extra strength one gained in a crisis to do quite a bit of damage despite their usual division of roles.

Meanwhile, Karen I Winchell smiled.

“If you are finished preparing to execute that toilet beetle, how about we get down to business? Thanks to our attack on the Megalodiver’s supply and maintenance unit, we have information on that Island Nation Object. The documents are stored inside the ship, so please come this way.”