Editing Kamisu Reina:Volume 1 Kazuaki Toyoshina (section)

===2===

Kiichi and I are on our way to the Shikura public middle school. Normally, there's no reason why a high school student who is neither in a committee nor in a club would go to a completely unfamiliar middle school that requires him to take an express train just because it's slightly too far away to go by bicycle. <i>Normally</i>.

"He said he's waiting," Kiichi explains as he claps his cell phone.

"Okay, thanks man. We're better off if there's someone with us who knows his way around. I hear of a lot of suspicious figures around here lately, I don't want them to suspect us."

"Well, not like we're any less suspicious."

"Heh, sounds about right. What's your brother's name, again?"

"Yuji."

"Yuji Kato it is, huh. Do you resemble each other?"

"I honestly can't tell, but for some reason, he's pretty popular with the girls."

"You don't look anything like each other, then."

"...Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

Responding with a wordless grin, I insert my ticket and go through the barrier. Kiichi looks me in the face in a serious manner.

Aah, I see.

He doesn't understand at all; it's been two weeks since the funeral. I've already had a hard time when she was still alive, so it's child's play for me to put on a cheerful face like this.


"Hey, Kazuaki," he starts when we entered the train, still with a heavy-hearted mien. "I shouldn't be giving you sermons already, but you really shouldn't drag on Wakui-san's death forever, 'kay?"

"Why?"

"Well, dude..." he falters for a moment when I counter his advice dryly. "I know that you loved Wakui-san. Maybe it was mutual love even. But Kazuaki: You weren't a couple, let alone married. Just childhood friends. I mean, look at that cute midget girl who's hitting on you; she's the proof that you're popular. Don't waste that potential."

"Aah... you had that kind of impression of us?"

"Hm? But I'm spot-on, no? You obviously were on the way from friends to lovers."

"Nope."

"Oh come on, maybe that's what <i>you</i> thought."

"We <i>were</i> a couple."

"...What? For real?"

Ah, of course he wouldn't know about us. We've only known each other since high school.

"We already started going out in the 6th year of elementary school. Don't go telling this around, but we kissed and even made out with each other in middle school."

"...Did you take the next step?"

"No. She always insisted on waiting until we could marry, and I listened to her like a moron."

"I see..." he squeezes out and falls silent.

However, I continue with a stimulated sense of self-mockery.

"She was raped."

"Yeah..." he comments insecurely, with an ambiguous expression that makes it clear that he already heard of this fairly well-known story.

"What do you think is the first thing she said to me when she told me about it?"

"I have no idea..."

"<i>I'm so sorry</i>."

Kiichi glances at me for a moment, and silently lowers his gaze.

"We had no doubts," I continue, "that I would take her virginity, and that she would give me her virginity. No one expected the train to derail from that predestined path. After we had gone through that station, we would enroll at the same university, find a job, and marry. Finally, after death had part us, we would rest in peace in the same grave. It was an unspoken promise between us that we would follow this path."

"Mm..."

"But that incident messed our plans up. That clear path laid out before us disappeared into thin air. That's why she... apologized, thinking it was her fault. Blaming herself for everything."

"———"

Kiichi is in complete silence, but I continue:

"She was so churned up inside that she couldn't even touch me anymore. No, maybe she just had androphobia, who knows. Anyway, she just wouldn't look at the new path I was trying to build for the two of us. Because of that, we returned to just being friends. Of course, I didn't plan to leave it that way."

"I see..." he simply says.

There's an oppressive silence between us for a while, underlining the tedious rattling of the train. The passengers around us seem to think of everyone else as mere scenery, fiddling with their cell phones or focusing on the music from their headphones.

I begin to speak again.

"I found one of her rapers the other day."

Kiichi's head jumps up. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"...What did you do?"

"I killed him."

He completely loses his tongue.

"I tore off all his clothes, crushed his balls with a stone, beat him up until his face was no longer recognizable, stuffed his mouth with his own shit, peeled off his fingernails one by one, squashed his eyeballs... and while I was doing so, he kicked the bucket."

"...You're joking."

My gaze pinned on the pubs and video shops and fast food restaurants flying by outside the window, I answer him:

"'Course I am."

Fortunately, I don't know what they look like.

As the train starts to slow down, I look outside and think:

<i>Come to think of it... I haven't had Gyudon in a while.</i>



The Shikura Middle School is built amidst the living quarters; finally arriving there, we spot a bunch of students playing soccer and baseball in the cramped school grounds.

Five minutes after Kiichi gives him a call, Yuji shows up at the entrance gate, still in sports gear, subliminally remarking that he was in the middle of working out. With his large and athletic build it stands to reason that he would be popular.

"Let me cut straight to the chase: The three students who committed suicide were in your class, is that right, Yuji-kun?"

"Yes, we had quite the chaos going on here because of that."

"What do you mean?"

"Things like no one wanting to take the blame, getting a new class teacher, and so on."

Three students taking their lives is a big problem, indeed. Added to that, they're in the middle of puberty (not that I'm much older), too, which doesn't mix well and allows for even more problems.

"I heard the gist from Kiichi, so I'll delve right into the details: What do you consider the reason why they committed suicide?"

Yuji-kun ponders. "I think each had their own problems, really. The girl of the first incident didn't have any friends and wasn't exactly treated well in class, and the guy who killed himself next blamed himself for the death of the first victim."

"...Ah, so they didn't commit suicide independently, but rather the first suicide triggered a chain?"

"...That's my view, yes."

"All right..."

When I heard that three students had killed themselves at different times and in different places, I suspected the same irregularity as with Shizuka's case; after all, you wouldn't just commit suicide just because you are confronted with the topic.

If, however, their cases are interconnected and can be traced back, they may not be regular, but they're by no means irregular either.

It seems like this trace, which I tracked because I found that Shizuka was investigating these incidents, ends here.

"Can you show me your classroom, Yuji-kun?" I propose just in case.

"Sure. But please try not to catch anyone's eye. It's a hassle to explain ourselves."



Yuji-kun and I (Kiichi stayed outside) entered the school building. He then showed me around, guiding me to relevant places like their classroom, the landing of the stairway that leads to the roof, where the first victim was often seen, and so on. By the way, the place where I wanted to go most, the roof, was closed, perhaps because of those incidents.

"So? Did you learn anything?" Yuji-kun asks before the door to the roof.

"Hm..." As expected, the places didn't make an impression on me. 

"Can I ask you something on the matter, too?" he responds to my silence.

"What is it?"

"Why are you investigating in the first place, Toyoshina-san?"

After giving it some thought, I reply, "I had a girlfriend."

"My brother told me something along those lines. He said she... committed suicide," he explains, faltering a little before squeezing out the word <i>suicide</i>. "Ah, do you suspect that it wasn't suicide but murder? And that it was the same culprit for the cases at this—"

"Haha, no, that's not it. To be honest, I think she had a proper reason to commit suicide."

"But then why?"

"A few days before she died, she started to behave strangely. Her condition abruptly worsened as if she had stepped on the gas and fallen from a cliff. In other words, I'm investigating the reason why she suddenly stepped on the gas, you know."

"But is there—" Yuji-kun starts, but cuts off mid-sentence, making a grimace.

"What?"

"Ah, no, please forget about it. I don't want to be rude."

"It's okay, I'm curious."

He looks me in the eyes repeatedly before he finally gives in with a nod. "Um... I just wondered if there is a point in doing all this?"

A point.

A point, hm?

"I'm... I'm sorry! My tongue slipped!"

"No, it's okay," I assure him and add, "...There is no point, I suppose."

"None at all?" he asks in surprise.

"She did go to strange places in her last days, sure, and she started to become delusional. Maybe that accelerated her death."

"...It sounds meaningful to me to look into that, no?"

"Nope, not at all. I know for a fact that the reason why she committed suicide has nothing to do with all that."

"...No meaning... but then why do you go out of your way to investigate?"

I gaze at Yuji-kun. Looking at his genuinely puzzled face, I'm sure he has never lost a beloved person.

"Because I have nothing else to do, maybe?"

"But that's not true, is it...? Maybe it's a bit early, but you could start preparing for the university exams, or you could be—"

"No, nothing," I interrupt him with a firm voice, "I have nothing else to do."

The path I tried to rebuild was irreversibly destroyed. I'm only drifting away in an empty space now.

All I can do is follow Shizuka's footsteps, even though there is nothing ahead of them. It's simply the only signpost left to me, having lost ground.

"..."

It seems that Yuji-kun remains unconvinced, but so be it; there's no need for him to understand. If he does, it will be once he's in a similar situation.

I look around once more and let out a deep sigh. It seems that there's nothing to be found here. It's not so easy to find the fragments left behind by Shizuka.

I take her choker out of my pocket and gaze at it.

<i>Shizuka, why did you put that choker on before you died? Is there a meaning behind that? Or none at all?</i> I can't even tell that much, even though we've been together for most of our lives.

"Well, if that's all, shall we leave?" he proposes.

I nod in agreement. There's nothing to be gained here.

As I climb down the stairs, I remember that there was one other thing I was meaning to ask.

"Aah, before I forget: Do you happen to know that name, Yuji-kun?" I ask without any expectations.

"What name?"

"Um, lemme see... 'Reina Kamisu.'"

As I finish saying that name, Yuji-kun abruptly stops.

"...Where did you learn about that name?" he asks, surprising me with his reaction. His face is mildly tensed.

"Um, I heard it from my deceased girlfriend."

He stays silent, his gaze still fixed on me.

Huh? What's up with him? Did he know the name after all? No, that wouldn't explain why he would react like this.

Which means that...?

"I don't know a person by that name, but to tell the truth, I did come across that name."

"Where...?"

Reluctantly, Yuji-kun answers me, "The victims mentioned it."

That means that...? Hold on, I need to think.

Yuji-kun heard the name "Reina Kamisu" from the suicide victims. Victim<u>s</u>—that's plural. Furthermore, he doesn't know Reina Kamisu himself. However, that does still not explain why he would react in such a strange fashion.

That means—

"...You don't know Reina Kamisu," I start.

"I don't."

"And the other students <u>who are alive</u> don't know her, either."

"...Exactly."

"However... <u>All the suicide victims, including my girlfriend Shizuka, knew Reina Kamisu.</u>"

Yuji-kun nods awkwardly.

"I'm not sure if all three of them knew her, but at least the first two victims did mention that name."

"I see."

"The first victim referred to that name as her best friend, while the second one mentioned it in his suicide note as the person who drove him into suicide, mistaking Reina Kamisu for the first victim."

"He mistook her? How could that happen? How can you mistake the name of the person who drove you into death?"

"I thought so, too... but his suicide note is clearly referring to the first victim! I suppose he knew both of them, since they were close friends, and somehow confused them with each other."

"But..."

"Yes, I know. That only explains why the first two victims mentioned that name, but not <u>why your girlfriend knew her, too</u>."

Exactly.

Shizuka and I have known each other for most of our lives because her family's house is just across the street. We have admitted the same schools from kindergarten to high school. In other words, she had just as little to do with the Shikura middle school as me.

There's no reason why a high school student who is neither in a committee nor in a club would go to a completely unfamiliar middle school that is slightly too far away to go by bicycle, but not <i>that</i> far away. Similarly, there's no reason why she would get to know the students from there.

"Shizuka was acquainted with 'Reina Kamisu' even though you guys don't know her and even though she had far less points of contact with the other suicide victims. And everyone who knew Reina Kamisu—"


"—is dead now."


The pieces are starting to come together, forming a ring that connects all of the victims.

An incredibly twisted ring that should not even exist.

Come to think of it, Shizuka and the other victims had no doubt proper reasons to commit suicide. But <u>they only had reasons</u>.

If for example they had actually been killed, they still would have had proper reasons to commit suicide.

In other words, the fact that they had reasons <u>does in no way rule out the existence of a third person who may have influenced them</u>.

No... don't jump to conclusions. I have to consider that Shizuka did some research about this school; maybe she learned about 'Reina Kamisu' in the process.

That being said... that would be an eerie chain of coincidences.

"Toyoshina-san," Yuji-kun starts, "I'll try asking around in school about Reina Kamisu tomorrow."

"Please do so."

<i>Where will this ring lead me?</i> I think as I gaze in the air.

Suddenly, my vision turns blurry as if a drop of water had fallen on my eyes. But that's how it's supposed to be. The world is full of mosaics that conceal the truth from our eyes. We don't really see anything. Perhaps, we arrive at what we think is the answer even though it's based on flawed logic. At the end of the day, three-dimensional beings like us cannot look across a three-dimensional world.

My vision is always blurry, I'm always blind.

Ah, just damn it. Someone tell me what I'm supposed to do! What did Shizuka want me to do? How can I escape fate? What is 1+1? Why is the earth rotating? Why is the earth round? What is gravity? What is magnetic force? What is the meaning of life? Who is Reina Kamisu?

I know that there's no clear answer, so just make up one for me. Just tell me the answer using a valid logic. There should be one, and if there is one, please tell me.

Give me the right answer.

Give me the right answer.

Save me!

Save me before I drown in the swamp that I'm struggling against, that is drawing life out of me!



Suddenly.

I see a silhouette on the landing where I was moments ago.

A person.




"—Huh?"


—It's 'Shizuka.'



"...? What's wrong, Toyoshina-san?" Yuji-kun asks in response to the sudden gasp I let out.

"L-Look, there!" I groan as I point at Shizuka. He traces the direction I'm indicating with his eyes and narrows them.

"...Um, I see nothing."

"T-That's impossible!"

I turn around to the landing once more.

"Ah..."

Shizuka's not there. Of course not. She's dead. She's not among us anymore.

"...Sorry, forget about it."

"You must be tired."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

I'm tired. Yeah. Absolutely.

Otherwise I can't believe it.

"Haha..."

I mean, really, how could I otherwise believe that I, who loved Shizuka more than anyone else, would <u>mistake someone for her</u>.

Shizuka isn't among us. She's not here.

Therefore, <u>that girl over there isn't Shizuka</u>.



That girl over there with an absurdly beautiful smile, who resembles Shizuka, is—

"I'm pleased to meet you."

—Reina Kamisu.